Wrestling News, Opinions, Etc., 06.13.06

In Memoriam: John Cena’s WWE World Title Reign. DING-DONG the witch is dead. But for how long?

Hello folks, it’s Danny Wallace here filling in for Eric while he sorts himself out with somewhere to live, gets to grips with his new job and finds a way to get his net access back. Last week you had Blottie, this week you’ve got me, next week… who knows? Maybe Eric will be back by then, maybe he won’t.

But for now…

THE PIMP SECTION

Look On The Bright Side

You Complete Bar Steward!

That Looks So Fake

The Saturn; Sega’s Greatest Console

East Coast Bias

Monday Morning Flasher

Let’s Rave On

Nyogtha

The 50 Club – A Clockwork Orange

The Weekly Sports Pulse

ONE STEP FORWARD

During ECW One Night Stand, I was greatly surprised to hear straight from the horses mouth (no, not Meltzer) that JBL would be the new colour commentator for SmackDown!

That is a great move by WWE Creative or whoever, as it keeps JBL in the spotlight while he’s out with his back injury, and it will also give him some career longevity once his boots are hung up. Hands on experience in any sort of field is the best way to improve yourself, and with the JBL character doing a good job the last time he came down to join the commentary team a few months back, it’ll be nice to see how well he and Cole mesh.

TWO STEPS BACK

As reported yesterday, Rhino has apparently signed a contract extension with TNA. Bad, bad move for Rhino in my eyes. After getting fired from the WWE and bouncing around the indies for a bit, he came aboard ship TNA where he eventually won the World title (for a day or so), and now he’s fighting for breathing space in the very crowded upper-midcard.

Yeah, he’s making a guaranteed income (compared to the indies), has the option to work less dates, has another option to work any dates he desires around the TV tapings and is generally involved in a feud at some point or another. But signing with ECW would have been so much more beneficial for him.

He’d have been paid far more than TNA could have offered (if he played his cards right and haggled the WWE for more money, which they would have paid), plus as one of the few select wrestlers who were big in ECW and aren’t currently on the brink of having a broken body, I have reason to believe that he would have been pushed pretty hard once he finished up with TNA. A feud with RVD, Big Show or Kurt Angle would have been on the cards surely.

The travel schedule would have been harder than having to drive/fly to Orlando every couple of weeks, but hell, surely the push and the money would have more than made up for that. Besides, he could have just signed for 2 years, made some money, gave himself some more recognition then just have gone back to TNA when his ECW contract was up.

But no… he goes and signs with TNA, the fool. Will wrestlers ever learn?

CONSOLIDATION

As reported earlier, the WWE is merging all it’s magazines into one slightly-larger WWE magazine. Smart move on the part of WWE, especially now that the internet is such a huge source of information that some magazines become obsolete after only a short life span. As long as they include exclusive interviews/pictures and other crap like that, then people will buy it… or in my case, read it in the shop.

THE SHORT FORM

Match Results:

Randy Orton vs. Kane (Double Countout): It looks as though they are going in a “who the f*ck is that?” direction for the Kane Double. If it turns out to be The Undertaker, then a) he’s one lazy bastard, and b) WWE creative have run out of ideas for both men. I’m betting on the latter.

The Ten-Buck Tramp over Candice Michelle (Pinfall, X-Factor): As I said in my Raw Report, the 13-16 year old boys will love this match. Me, not so much.

Triple H vs. The Spirit Squad (NC, HBK interference): DX Reunion? About damn time.

Umaga over Jim Duggan (Pinfall, Samoan Spike): You know, it’s probably a good thing Eric isn’t here right now. He doesn’t have to suffer through this match, for one thing.

Johnny Nitro over Carlito (Pinfall, Shelton interference): Another Sports-Entertainment finish. They don’t bother me that much, but they sure do anger our Eric. As for the match… not bad. It’ll be interesting to see which direction they go with the IC title. I’d put it on Johnny Nitro, and let Shelton and Carlito continue on their merry way for a couple more months.

John Cena over Edge (DQ, EC-DUB interference): What bugs me when wrestlers buy front-row tickets, is that they never appear at the start of the show, it’s always right before the match they interfere in. Plus, it’s ECW. You’d have think they’d have learnt some lessons about spending money, and actually watched the show they paid to see.

Angle Developments:

DX Reunion: Well about damn time, it’s only been teased for what? 2 months now? I’m also glad the reunion match is against the Spirit Squad, as it gives them the opportunity for a couple of guys from the Squad to join up with DX, if they go that route. One on hand, you could just keep the Spirit Squad together and let them continue as a unit, or you could nip it in the bud before it becomes too popular or starts to die, by having 2 members (Kenny and Johnny in my opinion) switch sides and join DX.

7(ish) Years Too Late: So we will see Foley vs. Slick Ric at Vengeance, in a “2 out of 3 falls” match. The mike work will, and has so far been outstanding. The wrestling ability… not so much. Still, both men can go in the ring when needed, and it’ll be interesting to see Foley break out some submission moves, and maybe even some chain wrestling. We’ll have to wait and see I suppose. The only thing that bugs me about this is that in his blog, Foley said that a few weeks back himself and Flair were on a long-ass flight together, and ended up talking the entire trip. For me, that kind of kills the aspect of the match a little. It’ll be OK though. I’ll have to suspend my belief… again.

Lillian was in a Hass of Pain: Whey! The angle involving Charlie Hass, Lillian and Viscera gives me some hope that the WWE Creative team actually watch Raw now and again. In last weeks “Looking Ahead”, I said that they might as well use the accident to their advantage, and they did just that. Kudos.

And so we come to the end of this rather short column. Sorry for that, but I’m beat. And I’ve still got Looking Ahead to write up. Who’d be a writer, I dunno.

In all seriousness, I’m very privileged to be able to rob Eric’s column for a week, and I’m also very thankful for the opportunity to do the Raw Report for the site. So thanks!

I’ll see you in about 5 hours time…

Danny Wallace.

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