The NeelDown iMPACT Zone

Your biased opinion on TNA every week makes me sick. You bash the product all the time and you ar nothing more than a glorified f*ckin WWE troll. Sting/Steine rwasn’t THAT bad and you know it, so just save yourself the time of doing this awful recap and shove it. – Inbox of markneeley@insidepulse.com

dude, I read your impact report from last night. What the heck were you and matthew micheals smoking??? I thought that was a great episode of Impact. Steiner / Sting was much better than it had any right to be. The Samoa Joe / Steiner confrontation was AWESOME and the crowd thought so too? Chris Sabin a jobber??? People complain that he was not featured enough, now that Sabin is getting some TV time people still bitch. TNA should not be worried at all about ECW. ECW is nothing more than a THIRD WWE brand…plain and simple. – Blog

– Okay, first I need to address some things that have recently come to my attention, particularly after my Impact rant last week, as you can see just a FEW examples of above. I got a heaving load of e-mails, and even some comments on my blog (I haven’t linked to my blog in at least 3 months), and even some IM’s from random screenames. And it was all about my “criticism” of the show. Did I go overboard in talking about what a complete piece of shit Sting-Steiner was? No. Did I “go too far” with my spoiler headline? Am I wrong to see that I see a repeated cycle in TNA PPV’s, that every one just seems like a recycled one of last month, with a couple of modifications? No, because that’s my opinion, and to me, it’s the truth.

– I know there are a lot of “diehard TNA fans” out there who probably read my column every week and disagree with a lot of the things I say. But you know what, I really don’t care. If you’re too blind to see my points, don’t read my columns, because like most you probably have the mentality that “TNA is better than WWE because they don’t deal with soap opera storylines” and blah blah, TNA can do no wrong. Well, not only are you wrong, but completely blinded by all of the flaws in the products. Am I “looking forward” to Slammiversery? Fuck no.

– And then there was some “controversy”, in particular somebody over at 411, who misinterpreted my slurs about TNA being “buried,” for lack of a better term, by “two bigger federations.” Yawn. No, I did not mean literally two separate federations. Yes, I know ECW is now a brand of WWE. I was just using it as a figure of speech, as this show was following the Head to Head special and heading into the PPV, and TNA indeed seemed “buried.” So the bottom line is this folks: I’m not usually going to suck TNA’s dick like some of the “reports” you might find spread across the internet. I view the product like I see it, and if you don’t agree, I don’t have a problem with intelligent feedback. The recent fiasco was not “intelligent,” by any means. Thank you.

– But in light of all that, I wanted to thank a few people of whom always compliment the quality of my columns, the regulars, and notably GRUT. I really appreciated your compliment, man.

– So, all that behind us, let’s try to watch this without falling asleep behind the wheel …

– From Orlando, Florida

– Hosts are Mike Tenay & Don West

– Christian Cage comes out to make his first TV appearance in about 2 months. He talks about the King of the Mountain match at Slammiversery, with Tenay throwing in some funny “heel” comments. Anyway, Sting comes out and says his first priority was to take out Jarrett, and all that good jazz.

– Kevin Nash sings about Chris Sabin. So many jokes to pull here, it’s almost too hard to find one that wouldn’t sound cheezy.

The Naturals v. The Jobbers in the Rough
Naturals attack to start and get the bulldog over the knee for two. Young hairmares Stevens down and Skipper adds a cheap clothesline for two. Stevens comes back with a flying forearm as the first row looks bored to death. Can’t blame them. Douglas comes in and the Naturals double team Young for two. The Naturals give Young the double team neckbreaker but Skipper distracts the ref and Simon punches Douglas with a chain giving Young the pin. The Naturals’ unorthodox losing skid continues, for no good reason I can think of, but hey, there’s TNA booking for you. It was short at least. 3/4*
Winners: The Jobbers in the Rough

– The Naturals chase Diamond to the Spanish table afterwards and they pound on them. The Naturals resemble a cracked out Rock ‘N’ Roll Express. The Franchise comes out to bash the Naturals and mentions Candido, then the broadcast dies. Great. Shades of Petey Williams-Jushin Liger from the opening match of Sacrifice, indeed. After the blank screen for a couple of minutes we get the “No need to call us” message from DirecTV, with some vintage Golden Earring elevator music in the background, for good measure. Now we’re back with Tenay and DW. Whatever. Then we run down the PPV card.

Kevin Nash v. Mr. X
So this is Nash’s X division debut or whatever. “Mr. X” is a midget in a mask. As if zombies and vampires wasn’t enough in the other bad show of the week. The joke here is that Nash pretends Mr. X is Sabin or something. Nash pummels him and West comments that it is funny. Could we be seeing a long-needed TNA ANNOUNCER HEEL TURN?! Not really, as he apologized politely to Tenay, back to babyface loving. Powerbomb finishes things with not enough time to spare. This really is not funny, at all. And midget humor went out of business a while ago, even WWE has learned that lesson by now. -****
Winner: Kevin Nash

AJ, Chris, Cancer Patient Raven, n’ Rhino v. America’s Most Worthless, Monty Brown & Bobby Roode
Roode pounds on Raven to start, because WHOSE THE GREATEST?!?! Raven comes back with some usual stuff and tags in Daniels who chops away and gets a dropkick for two. Storm comes in, as does Styles, and we all know who wins that confrontation. AMW double team Styles and suplex him in for two. Brown gives him a capture suplex for two. Roode comes in and gives him a back suplex for two. Styles gets an enzigiri and gets the hot tag to Rhino who cleans house but the crowd is dead. Brown stops his momentum and gives him a fallaway slam. Raven attacks him though, as well as AMW, and gives them a double bulldog. He tries the DDT on Harris but Storm superkicks him. Pele hits on Roode, but Harris gives him the Catatonic. Daniels jumps him though. Rhino adds in a Gore and then chases D’Amore to the tunnel. Daniels gets the Angel’s Wings on Storm but Roode breaks up the pin. Kim comes in but sells a Daniels tornado DDT nicely. Brown though gives him a POUNCE POUNCE POUNCE for the victory. Not too bad actually. **1/2
Winners: America’s Most Worthless, Monty Brown & Bobby Roode

End of show.