So, this is something I used to do. I liked recapping PPV events, but hated doing the actual recap portion, so I came up with this little concept called The Analysis. As you’ll note in this old Analysis for 411 back in 2004, it’s basically a quick means of me letting you know what I thought was good, what was bad, star ratings for the individual matches, and an overall show rating. I actually started doing these for The Bagpipe Report in 1996, but I don’t know why I’m mentioning The Bagpipe Report, because none of you have been around long enough to remember it. Maybe someday I’ll take a walk through memory lane and give you the details on what it was like working for TBR, Scoops, Wrestlemaniacs, The Shooters and Rantsylvania.
Anyway, here we go. The Good, The Bad, The Top Performers, The Match Ratings, and the Overall Show Rating. For comparison to older shows, check out my old 411 archives; there’s a few of them in there.
– “This wasn’t a good idea…I don’t think I want to be here”: Mick Foley’s admission to Edge that perhaps getting into a street fight with Funk and Dreamer wasn’t the best idea was one of my two favorite moments of the show. It was absolutely hilarious and a total change of perspective on the Foley character, which is just what he needed to make the heel turn work.
– Real wrestling commentary – Man, I sure missed the old Joey Styles. His work calling the wrestling matches as actual sporting contests and sublime interplay with Tazz was a breath of fresh air from the now tepid Ross/Lawler combo on Raw.
–The Crowd – I know for a fact that this crowd wasn’t at all representative of the old-school ECW crowds. How? Because these people were complete and total marks. If you put the six-man tag match in front of the old ECW crowd in 1997 or so, they would have crapped all over it. This crowd ate it up with a spoon because they figured that’s what an ECW crowd was supposed to do, and they ended up looking foolish. I mean, telling John Cena he does the same old stuff in every match while cheering Rob Van Dam? And going ballistic when they pulled the worst finish ever in the main event? This wasn’t an ECW crowd; it was a group of marks trying to pull off their best impression of the real ECW fanbase. They were funny, but in a sad kinda way.
– Sabu – I normally don’t list a single performer under the Bad section, but this guy deserves extra credit for being really, really bad. It’s been 13 years or so since he started getting some attention for the innovative stuff he does in matches, but he hasn’t changed any of his moves since then. Sabu is quite possibly one of the worst wrestlers I have ever seen; I have never seen someone so blatantly just move from highspot to highspot with nothing to show in between his big moves, and he botches his big moves half the time anyway. Not to mention the fact that he looks 100 years older than he actually is.
– Kurt Angle – Kurt pretty much saved Smackdown from going under in early 2006, and he was rewarded with a banishment to a lower brand and a pay cut by virtue of lower house show revenues. He’s been upset with the move, but he showed none of that at One Night Stand. Focusing on a new, stiff, matt-based style, Angle showed intensity and brought the grappling goodness. His “put a headlock on me” spot with Randy Orton is one of my all-time favorite moments in wrestling at this point.
The Match Ratings
Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton: ***
FBI vs. Super Crazy/Tajiri: **1/2
Rey Mysterio vs. Sabu: **
Edge/Mick Foley/Lita vs. Tommy Dreamer/Terry Funk/Beulah: **
Balls Mahoney vs. Masato Tanaka: 1/2*
RVD vs. John Cena: **
The Overall Show Rating (OSR): **1/2