Previously On & Show Opening
They recap Jesse’s second chance and Matt’s injury. They show Solomon saying of Rory’s fight vs. Ed, “Rory pretty much all but stuck out his neck and said ‘choke me.'”
We’re going to begin with a fight (!!!), as this is the last episode before the finale, and both Light Heavyweight semi finals will take place.
The fight we begin with is Josh vs. Jesse.
Weigh In
Dana says, “Josh does not give up.” We know.
Ken says the matchup is good, and Tito thinks Jesse is a better athlete than Josh.
Fight Day
Josh says that this fight is for himself, as opposed to all the other fights that are for his family, etc.
The Fight!
Jesse mounted Josh pretty quickly and threw elbows. Josh gives up his back and Jesse works a choke. Josh defends brilliantly and there is no way Jesse is going to lock a choke on Josh. Jesse gives up and a lot of scrambling goes on, and Josh goes for a heel hook that does nothing, but it made me laugh pretty hard. Jesse is pretty much dominating Josh on the mat, and he takes Josh’s back again. Jesse actually sort-of locks in a choke and Josh starts turning red but he doesn’t give up (and we’re all impressed but not surprised), he keeps punching at Jesse and escapes. Jesse’s arms have got to be tired after all of this fruitless choking. Josh gets Jesse’s back and he throws a downward elbow that he doesn’t even get warned about. The round ends.
In Josh’s corner, Tito yells, “Fuck footlocks!! No footlocks!!”
Round 2
Jesse runs full-speed and spears Josh into the fence, but Josh grabs Jesse’s neck and guillotine chokes him, standing. Jesse taps out.
Tito was concerned that round 1 may have been a 10-8 round, given how Jesse was so dominant. Josh said he’d have rather died on that mat than lose.
Josh says to Tito “I gave everything for this. You changed my life. I appreciate that.”
In the locker room, Josh says, “So who wants to fight the fat kid now?”
Bisping looks over and said, “Me, I hope.”
Jesse’s upset. Because he lost. Again.
At Home
Ross & Bisping are talking about the fight they had in November 2005 at CWFC Strike Force 4.
Ross says, “I was winning, I still don’t know where that armbar came from.” They reinact the fight a little, and they argue.
Bisping says in a video interview, “Ross is in his own world where he sees things differently, but he’s not lying, he genuinely believes it!”
Bisping says to Ross, “You are delusional, yknowwhatimean?”
Team Ortiz Training
Tito says Bisping has a huge opportunity to be a great fighter. Bisping says that training with Tito has been the best 6 weeks of fight preparation he’s had in his life. Everyone loves Tito and Tito’s training.
Team Shamrock Training
Ken says, “BOMBS! Ross is gonna throw bombs! That’s what he does, man.”
Weigh In
Dana says, “I truly believe that Bisping is the more talented fighter,” but says that Ross has a puncher’s chance.
But the real concern here is… what the f*ck? Where did Bisping’s chest hair go? And dear god, why isn’t it on his chest? Weigh-ins are so depressing.
Dear everyone,
Don’t shave torsos.
Love,
Shelly
At Home
Bisping predicts that he’ll get a knockout three minutes and forty-seven seconds into round 1. Then he says, “I think I might start the fight with a flying knee. That’ll shut him up.”
Ross: I wanna be a fighter!
Bisping: You ARE a fighter!
And before bed, Bisping says, “Goodnight. I’ll most likely kill you in the morning.” How long before his new nickname is Dread Pirate Bisping?
While Ross and Bisping are sleeping in preparation for their fight, everyone else is done with their fights, so they decide to party. Mike shaves a spiderweb or something into Kendall’s hair and does something awful to Kristian’s already-awful pink hair.
They wrestle around in the living room, and pour water on each other and Jesse sits in his wall cubby (no, really, I’m still not over the fact that there’s a hole in the wall that isn’t door nor window). Rory tries to light farts and he does not succeed. They throw food around. There is mustard and ketchup squirting and really, I’m surprised Rory didn’t die from the sight of the mess.
Fight Day
Bisping and Ross are talking in the morning, telling each other they feel confident. Bisping goes upstairs and takes them two at a time. Bisping says he wants to win to repay Tito, Dean, and Saul for all their work and support. Bisping says that Ross’ gameplan is “to hit me with one of these incredibly hard shots that does not exist.” Dana is really excited.
Fight!
Ross hits Bisping HARD. It’s one of those incredibly hard shots that, apparently, does exist, and Bisping looks hurt, but shakes it off. Ross blocks Bisping’s kicks and tries to punch him, but, as Ken says, he’s waaaay too far away. Ross has no footwork and he’s standing still mostly. Ken shouts, “Watch that right hand, Bisping!” Haha.
Ross avoids a takedown and then, out of nowhere, Bisping does throw a flying knee! It is beautiful! It hits Ross square in the side of the head and Ross is wobbly while Bisping punches him as he’s against the fence. Tito shouts, “Stop him!” and John lets the fight go a few more seconds before Ross taps out.
Ross says, “I’ve never seeen Mike use knees in his fights before.”
Bisping and Ross hug tight in the middle of the octagon for a long time and everyone comes over to tell Ross how tough he is. Tito says, “No motherf*cker wanted to step up besides you,” and tells him he should be proud. There’s really a substantial amount of hugging here and talking about being friends.
Ross says, “Back to England. I’m sure it’s raining. Or snowing.”
Dana says that Team Ortiz was a more cohesive team and that’s why they did so well. Three of Tito’s team members are in the finals, and Ed Herman was the only man on Team Shamrock to succeed in the competition. Dana says that Shamrock wasn’t in the right state of mind to be teaching the guys anything, and that he just wanted to fight Tito. Tito re-asserts that this competition was never about Tito vs. Ken for him, it was about the kids.
In what feels like a worked segment (can we say “as usual”? can we say, “I don’t care as long as Ken trash-talks badly!”?), Ken bumps into Tito and says mean things about how Tito’s nice-guy thing is an act. Which really is pretty mean. Ken’s just mad because he’s not the babyface anymore. Tito swears a lot and says to Ken, “I’m going to retire you, motherf*cker.” Ken says that he put Tito over and made him famous. Tito says Ken just wants to be thrown a bone so he’s getting into these fights for no reason.
Ken says, in his trash-talk gem of the evening, “I’m gonna hit you so freakin’ hard you’re gonna forget what day you were born on.”
He tells Tito that dropping f-bombs doesn’t make him tough.
Tito says, “I f*ckin’ hate Ken Shamrock.”
Dana says that when the fight on July 8th is over, they’re still going to hate each other.
The Finale – June 24, 9:00 PM ET, SpikeTV
Middleweight Finals
Kendall Grove vs. Ed Herman
Light Heavyweight Finals
Josh Haynes vs. Michael Bisping
Main Event
Kenny Florian vs. Sam Stout
