The RAW Events
— The ECW Invasion is upon us. The return of DX. RAW PPV this Sunday, along with my pics? Does anyone else see a good show coming up!?!? Well… if not, lemme know, I may be getting sick again. Are you ready?
Rochester, NY.
Hosts: JR & The King
The MAIN Events
– Bra and Panties Tag Match: Torrie Wislon & Maria vs. Candice Michelle & Mickey James
Girls wrestle to take off their clothes… well this didn’t have to be called any different from any other women’s match right? Torrie loses her clothes sadly not my lovely Maria. For some odd reason, Mickey knocks out Michelle and takes off her clothes too. And attacks a “fan”. Well I guess this is what you get when you have no other women to wrestle on this show. Where’s the Exhibitionist Kelly when you need her?
Winner: Candice Michelle & Mickey James (6)
– Viscera vs. Charlie Hass
Well supposedly Hass and Lillian went out to dinner and she accepted his apology over pillow talk. Lillian screams out “what” as any other denying person will say. Viscera kicks the shit out of Hass for a while. SS comes in and takes out both men.
Winner: No Contest (7)
– Umaga vs. John someone
Squash.
Winner: Umaga(5)
– John Cena vs. Balls Mahoney
Cena takes it to Mahoney in the early going as men start the “Cena sucks” and “ECW” chant while the girls in the audience over power with “Cena” chants. Oy. Mahoney uses a poke the eyes to fire back with a Balls hitting a huge hit in Cena’s face. Cena fights back and more boos! But the women once again fire up and now the chants are just mixed. Balls misses the chair shot, and Cena makes him tap out to the STFU (crappy finisher). Sabu runs out to attack Cena, setting up the announcer table outside. And does the running leg drop on the table to take out Cena. LOUD “ECW” chant.
Winner: John Cena (4)
– Randy Orton vs. Snitsky
Well Snitsky gets the no entrance treatment, so you know who’s gonna win here. Orton gets the thumb to the eye on Snitsky and pummels away afterward. Snistky fires back after a headlock and connects a clothesline twice. Sidewalk slam and shoulder block takes Orton down. Elbow to the face finally gets Orton back up, reversing the big boot and hitting the RKO as he gets a huge face pop. Uh-oh… I don’t think WWE was banking on that.
Stupid King interviews Orton after the match asking him about tomorrow’s ECW tag match. Orton goes after Angle. Pretty pointless segment.
Winner: Randy Orton (3)
– Carlito vs. Nitro w/ Melina & Shelton Benjamin
Carlito gets stuck in this match by laughing at the DX segment. So Coach isn’t cool, this isn’t cool, but Carlito becoming new IC champ, is cool. Is it me, or does Carlito not sound so enthusiastic about his part as usual??? Nitro gets his ass kicked for a bit, before tagging in Benjamin. Shelton gets the same treatment for a while, until he gets a few kicks into the mid-section Carlito, but he fires back with his own. Clothesline gets 2! Benjamin and Nitro fight over who gets pickings at Carlito, Nitro hits out Benjamin and Carlito gets the roll-up for 2! Reversal, and Nitro picks up the three by the tights.
Winner: Nitro & Shelton Benjamin (2)
– Edge vs. Ric Flair
Edge takes the early going as Foley is with the announcing duties. Flair catches Edge off top and puts in a few chops. Edge goes for the spear, but misses, getting tossed outside. Low blow nearly gets the 3 count! Flair body slams Lita and puts in more chops into the chest of Edge. Mandible claw with Socko gets Flair while the ref is destracted, giving Edge the spear and the 1-2-3 going no where near the last match they had. RVD runs out and kicks Edge from the top rope followed by a five star frog splash. Getting a waaaaay much bigger pop here from the RAW audience than what he had last Tuesday.
Winner: Edge (1)
Quick HEAT
— Vince opens out show tonight by going over last weeks events to the reformation of DX. But there won’t be a reunion tonight, there will be a deconstruction. Vince also gets a chicken because he loves “cock”. PLUS an alien (cheap hit at SCI-FI) follows him around. AND some male dancers arrive as well for Vince. THEN Dusty Rhodes shows up to pimp his DVD. AFTER that, a box arrives to be signed for his penis enlarger pump. HAHA, DX must be destroyed.
Vince FINALLY storms out to the ring. Vince has two words for DX “Living Hell” followed by a huge “asshole” chant from the crowd. BUT Shane walks out calling his dad over with some sort of problem it looks like. As Stephanie is in “labor”. Vince leaves Coach in charge for the night saying that Steph has always had the worst timing in the world, calling her a “bitch.”
— SS calls out DX, as their backstage, sarcastically worried about the 5 on 2 match. However, HHH points out that they’re just “cheerleaders”. So they’re gonna come out tonight on their own terms with just two words… “look up”… as green paint falls down on the SS with DX spraying up the camera.
— SS call for Coachman to make sure he takes care of DX tonight. And as he goes back to the office, Paul Heyman is sitting waiting. But to avoid an invasion, Paul wants a compromise, with Edge & Randy Orton vs. Angle & RVD. So Coach agrees but Heyman still wants one little thing. Cena vs. Balls Mahoney tonight.
— Kane is backstage with an interview with JR. Kane knows exactly who this person is and knows why he’s doing this. Back once upon a time; there was this “kid” who was even more demented than he was. But doesn’t answer as to what he did. Ok.
— Coach finds the office marked with DX marking as HHH and HBK walk in, wondering who did this? Coach breaks in and sits to watch the show with DX.
— Maria is backstage with… crap, Eugene. Stupid, pointless, idiotic. Except for Maria.
— DX attacks Coach and send him through the “wall” before pulling down his pants to spray paint his behind.
— “Are you ready?” DX walks out to the ring for the first time tonight, after SS was gathering extra troops backstage to take out DX once and for all. We find out that Steph being in labor was false, and HHH tries to get the “cheap plug” on who is the guy who got her prego. SS music hits and we got some midgets filling in the role tonight. DX takes out the midgets. HHH gets his own version of the cheerleaders, but very pretty girl cheerleaders this time as they put out a cheer by stripping to DX clothes. With HHH saying that they are the “breast” cheerleaders ever. FINALLY the real SS comes out as they storm the ring. The locker room ditches SS as DX lays waste to SS. The little SS gets back in the ring and moon SS with the words “Suck it” written over their behinds.
RAW Analysis
— (RAW) Vengeance
1. WWE Champion Rob Van Dam vs. Edge- I don’t know about this one, I can kind of see WWE pulling off something here to get the “WWE” title off of RVD, so that RAW has their belt back. Winner: Edge
2. D-Generation X vs. Spirit Squad- DX gets their groove back here, no question. Winner: DX
3. Intercontinental Championship Triple Threat Match: Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito vs. Nitro w/ Melina- This could go either way as either Carlito or Nitro can get the push, but Benjy keeps the belt. Winner: Benjamin
4. Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton- Angle keeps the extreme streak alive, sorry Randy. Winner: Angle
5. Mick Foley vs. Ric Flair – I find this being a real good interesting match. This could go either way, but Mrs. Foley’s baby boy has been losing waaaay to much lately. Winner: Foley
6. John Cena vs. Sabu- Why? You know that Cena isn’t going to lose face here, plus he gets his “vengeance” back against ECW! Winner: Cena
7. Umaga vs. Eugene- I hate this match for so many reasons. Winner: Umaga
8. Kane vs. “Kane”- Real Kane wins. Even though I still don’t know what’s up with this storyline yet. Winner: Kane
— Well it was to be expected. It was a decent show with the only real live thing keeping it up was the return of DX, even though the ending was good, it wasn’t great. Plus it’s kind of sad that you get more “ECW” chants and more pro RVD ones through RAW than you did from ECW last Tuesday. Again though, not really much to make you watch the PPV show this Sunday and the “ECW invasion” that was heavily hyped sort of just fizzled out in an OK show. Let’s see if things step up a bit tomorrow on SCI-FI and in the PPV. Till the next EVENT, I’m out. Peace.
