The (Early) SmackDown Report

Sorry about no SmackDown report last week, but I had something on which had been organised for a fair while. I won’t bore you with the details, but let’s just say I wish I’d simply stayed home and watched SmackDown.

Recap of Lashley / King Booker last week leads us into the opening SmackDown clip. Mizanin almost has a heart attack in announcing King Booker with Queen Sharmell verses Lashley, and Mark Henry challenging Rey Mysterio for the World Heavyweight Championship. It started off cute, but now it’s just annoying.

Opening Contest: Tag Team Championship: Mexicools versus The HooliganZ (Champions)
Ah, London, Kendrick, I havn’t seen anyone good looking for two weeks. London and Psicosis start. Lock up and Psicosis works the arm, London does the acrobatics using the top rope and reverses the hold into a headlock. Off the ropes and both get a shoulder block. Lock up and Psicosis gets a headlock, sends London into the ropes, London ducks under Psicosis, misses the cop, London sent into the ropes and back with a springboard armdrag. Scoop slam by London and Kendrick gets tagged in, London helps Kendrick up with a military press into a cross body on Psicosis for a two. Psicosis rakes the eyes and gets a scoop slam, tag (much more of a hit to the shoulder though) to Crazy. Crazy goes for the leg whip but Psicosis nails an elbow drop, right. Crazy with a headlock, off the ropes and flips over a Kendrick monkey flip attempt, Kendrick lands on his feet after a hip toss attempt, lands on his feet from a snapmare attempt by Crazy, and comes back off the ropes with an abdominal stretch on Crazy! Psicosis tags in while Kendrick still has it locked on (though takes his time) and Psicosis gets Kendrick in a headlock, off the ropes and goes behind Kendrick, Psicosis gets elbowed off, Kendrick gets a knee to the gut from Psicosis and flips down from a suplex attempt and tags in London!

Double team dropkick by London and Kendrick, who then send Psicosis into the corner. Kendrick nails a running forearm before London nails a running elbow for a two count. London jumps off the top rope with a stomp to the back of Psicosis, pinfall broken by Crazy. Tag out to Kendrick. Kendrick gets a top rope elbow to the shoulder of Psicosis and tags back out to London. Lather rinse repeat. Kendrick with a snapmare for two. Tag out to London and London nails Psicosis with a suplex for a two count. Tag out to Kendrick, Psicosis off the ropes into a double hip toss and elbow drop for a two. Tag out to Crazy, who gets a springboard dropkick to London, shoulder body toss and dropkick to Kendrick! Sunset flip for a two count on Kendrick – Kendrick sits up into an accidental dropkick from London!! Spinning heel kick by Crazy to London! Crazy goes for the moonsault but Psicosis tags himself in! Psicosis up top, misses the spinning leg drop and Kendrick gets the three count!
Winners And Still Champions: Brian Kendrick and Paul London

Post match Super Crazy and Psicosis fight, with Crazy getting the better of Psicosis! Hm, they should have some good matches. Pretty fun match, as you’d expect from these four, and precisely what you’d want from an opening match. Not too much, not too little, just enough to hook you into the show. So Six out of Ten.

Recap of Mysterio / Henry last month, the match that JBL set up. Still to come tonight: Mark Henry verses Rey Mysterio for the World Heavy Weight Championship.

Commercials.

Second Contest: Tatanka versus Simon Dean
Oh, gee, yay. JBL sums it up perfectly; “Who cares what bingo tribe he’s from?” and then goes on about Batista and Mark Henry. Dean gets on the microphone and complains about an Indian Casino. Tatanka attacks to start but Dean quickly gets an STO and takes Tatanka down. Dean clubs away on Tatanka and gets some knees in. In the corner Dean kicks away on Tatatanka and gets a blatant choke, but Tatanka begins to Douche Up, channeling the Hulk Hogan part of the Indian people and gets Dean with an atomic drop. Chops by Tatanka, off the ropes with a chop to the forehead and the Thunder to Dean before, and keep in mind I never thought I’d say this, the Great Khali saves the day and destroys this damned thing.
Winner: Draw

You do realise this will probably lead to a rematch next week, don’t you? -Five out of Ten. Post match, Khali does the Crucifix Pinfall. JBL says he’s never seen that before, even though I’m pretty sure Kane and others have done their own version of it.

Commercials.

Recap of Henry destroying Batista and the steel Cage during a Janurary SmackDown Main Event. Remember that one? Where he somehow got to the top of the Cage and posed?

Third Contest: Fit Finlay versus Gunner Scott
Beer cans, finished beer cans, get thrown out from under the ring. Nice little touch. Scott tackles Finlay down to start and gets in some punches. Scott goes for the German early on but Finlay escapes with headbutts and gets a short arm clothesline. Finlay with an elbow drop and another clothesline, with another short arm clothesline following. Snapmare into rear choke by Finlay. Finlay gets a kick right between the shoulders by Finlay for a two count. Scott gets some shots to the gut in, but Finlay gets the better and then scoop slams Scott and goes to the second rope but jumps into a big boot by Scott. Scott gets some punches to Finlay, with an uppercut, and gets a german! Back drop by Scott, off the ropes with a shoulder. Scott goes up top and gets a weird missile dropkick, getting the gut (and hand) of Finlay. Finlay drops Scott neck first into the top rope and begins to lure out the Leprechaun .. but he comes out from the other side of the ring! Before he can attack Scott, Finlay tackles him and tries to steal the Shaleleigh off of him but the Little Bastard (man I hate that name) bites him! Finlay shoves him down and throws him under the ring, and the referee takes the shaleleigh off of Finlay, but Finlay uses the other one over the head of Scott! One, Two, Three!
Winner: Fit Finlay

Meh, should have gone longer. When Scott dominated it was kind of boring, but the rest was good. Four out of Ten.

Backstage, Vito compliments Ashley on her dress. Vito proposes they go out and get dinner, but Ashley asks Vito if he’s .. you know .. one of us. But Vito says he’s not, and the two head off. JBL; “Where does he think he’s going to take her to? A Cher concert?!”

In another area backstage, Lashley gets his knee taped up by the trainer.

Commercials.

Backstage, Chavo gets interviewed by Cole. After last week he knows how strong Henry is, but Mysterio won’t have his reign finished tonight. He’s one hundred percent confident he will be the victor tonight, and that he’s not the only Guererro who thinks so.

Kristal interviews Henry. Henry asks Kristal if she’s ever heard ribs breaking in a human body, because he has. And he’s felt the Human body because a bag of jelly. In two weeks Batista will hear the sounds again. Benoit felt it, Angle felt it, Chavo felt it. And Rey Mysterio will find out tonight.

Regal has brand new music, which doesn’t go with his video at all. He introduces King Booker and begins his “All Hail King Booker”, while JBL acts as a tame Reverend and calmly says “All Hail” and praises King Booker.

Commercials.

Fourth Contest: King Booker with William Regal and Queen Sharmell versus Lashley
Circles to start and Lashley gets in a scoop slam before Booker takes a breath outside. Lock up and Lashley forces Booker to the ropes, Booker with a knee and gets some punches and chops in, taking it to the corner. Lashley throws Booker into the corner and gets some spears in, followed by a suplex for two. Booker gets a kick to the taped knee of Lashley and Lashley falls down only for more kicks by Booker. Booker with some chops to Lashley, irish whip into the opposing corner and Booker runs into an elbow! Lashley runs and nails Booker with a clothesline, Booker doing a 360, getting Lashley a two count. Booker drops Lashley throat first on the top rope. Booker hooks the knee of Lashley, but Lashley gets a small package for a two. Booker with a clothesline for two. Booker works the arm of Lashley which leads into a scoop slam by Lashley! Lashley with elbows, Booker off the ropes into an elbow! Clotheslines by Lashley for a two count. Booker gets an eye poke and kicks away on Lashley’s knee in the corner. Snapmare by Booker, off the ropes with a low dropkick for a two count. Booker with a Single leg crab but Lashley gets to the ropes. Booker gets some kicks to the thigh of Lashley. Booker chokes Lashley using the top rope, and while the referee is distracted by Booker, Regal gets in a cheap shot. Side kick by Booker for a two count. Finlay comes back as we head to a commercial.

Commercials.

We’re back with Lashley taking it to Booker! Lashley gets a scoop slam for a two count. Another for a two count by Lashley. And another for a two count by Lashley. Booker drags Lashley outside, where Finlay uses the Shaleleigh on the knee of Lashley! Back in the ring, Booker gets some leg drops to the leg of Lashley. Booker goes for a suplex, but Lashley reverses it and nails one of his own! Lashley sends Booker face first into the top turnbuckle for a two count (though it’s technically eleven), and gets elbows to Booker in the other corner, but needs to get pulled off by the referee! Booker drop toe holds Lashley into the bottom turnbuckle. Lashley gets some punches and locks a headlock, but Booker picks him up and gets a knee breaker to Lashley and locks on the Figure Four! Lashley flips it over but Booker escapes it. Booker nails Lashley with some rights before Lashley gets the upper hand! Booker off the ropes into an elbow and a clothesline! Belly to Belly gets Lashley a two count! Booker with a elbow to Lashley but runs into a powerslam by Lashley for a two! Booker with an eye poke, the short arm heel kick misses and Lashley sets up for the Running Powerslam! Regal distracts the referee and Finlay attacks Lashley! Lashley knocks Finlay out of the ring and Sharmell gives Booker a chair, kicks Booker in the gut and steals the chair! Regal down with a chair shot, Booker down with a chair shot, and the match is over!
Winner by DQ: King Booker

Post match Finlay makes his way back up the aisle, and Lashley stands over Regal and Booker. Went for far too long only for that finish never mind the fact that Lashley still isn’t ready for twenty minute matches with his move set (and I’m not even sure if he’s fully ready to do long matches while needing to sell injuries), and would have been a lot better if it went faster. But because it wasn’t bad faults aside; Two out of Ten.

Commercials.

Mike The Mizanin hypes up Mark Henry versus Rey Mysterio tonight. And is about to introduce the next match but, well .. You know who’s audio clip interrupts.

Fifth Contest: Mr Kennedy versus Funaki
Kennedy clotheslines Funaki after a brief brawl and sends him shoulder first into the steel post. Kennedy with some elbow drops for a two count. Kennedy stomps the hand of Funaki before getting a hook to the throat, and then locking on an armbar. Funaki gets some punches in but then runs right into a flipping slam, before Kennedy goes up top with the Swanton, now known as the “Kenton”, for the victory.
Winner: Mr Kennedy

Meh. -Three out of Ten.

Recap of Henry destroying Benoit.

Commercials.

RAW Rebound.

Backstage, Sharmell and Booker tell Long that he’ll never step foot into the ring with Lashley ever again. Long sets up King Booker verses Lashley next week. In a Steel Cage.

Up next: Henry verses Mysterio!

Commercials.

Main Event: World Heavy Weight Championship: Mark Henry versus Rey Mysterio (Champion)
Henry gets Mysterio down quickly with a kick to the gut. Henry sets Mysterio up in the corner for a punch and blatant choke. Henry gets a running spear in the corner to Mysterio. Henry goes for a running attack on Mysterio, but Mysterio rolls out of the way and Henry falls outside! Mysterio up top with a seated senton from the top rope to the outside which leads us into .. a commercial. Already. Hm.

Commercials.

We return to see Henry dominating over Mysterio. Mysterio gets some attacks in but runs into a boot by Henry. Henry gets a one count, using just a hand. Henry with some spears to Mysterio in the corner, before he sets Mysterio up on the top rope and slaps him off the turnbuckle to the outside. Henry stomps away on Mysterio .. This match is sooo slow. Mysterio gets the upper hand with some dropkicks, but gets taken down by a clothesline for a two count. Henry locks Mysterio in the bear hug, before he slams Mysterio into the turnbuckles. Henry reapplies the bear hug and shakes Mysterio around a bit before sending him back into the turnbuckles. Henry gets some speed only to run right into a boot by Mysterio, twice, and Mysterio jumps up top with a sunset flip – Henry goes for the splash but Mysterio rolls out of the way! Mysterio gets in a soccer kick and a dropkick to Henry as he sits in the corner. Mysterio goes up top and nails an odd moonsault for a two count. Off the ropes Mysterio runs right into the choke hold into the Military Press by Henry – but Mysterio falls on the apron, jumps to the top rope and nails Henry with a top rope bulldog! One! Two! No! Mysterio ducks the clothesline and goes for the springboard crossbody but Henry just knocks him down and rips off the turnbuckle pads! Mysterio gets some kicks to the head off Henry, following up by attacking the knee but runs right into a choke hold by Henry and throws Mysterio into the referee, who was trying to fix the turnbuckle! Henry sets up for the World’s Strongest Slam but Guerrero comes down and nails Henry with a steel chair to the back, which has no effect! Henry goes to hit Guerrero with the chair but Mysterio dropkicks Henry to the second rope, following with a 619 through the chair!

Mysterio jumps up top with a seated senton, and needs Guererro to trip Henry for him to fall down! The referee begins to stir and Guerrero hits the steel chair over the steel pole, lays it down on Henry, and begins to yell at the referee? Henry gets to his feet holding the steel chair and we have a disqualification victory!
Winner And Still Champion by DQ: Rey Mysterio

Post match Henry yells at Guerrero and Mysterio as SmackDown fades to black. If this match had gone for only ten minutes then it would have been fine to watch. As it was, though, it was one half sleep inspiring and one half sort of fun. And that does not make a good main event. Two out of Ten, if not for effort and making Henry look like a million bucks. So this week’s SmackDown stands at;

Mexicools verses HooliganZ: 6/10
Tatanka verses Simon Dean: -5/10
Finlay verses Gunner Scott: 4/10
King Booker verses Lashley: 2/10
Mr Kennedy verses Funaki: -3/10
Rey Mysterio verses Mark Henry: 2/10
SmackDown 23/6/06: 6/60

Another missable episode of SmackDown. If you want to see Henry look like the monster that he has the potential to be then watch this show, and if you want to see one of the few times you’ll appreciate Great Khali then you’ll want to record this episode too. But if neither of them appeal to you, or you don’t want to see the Mexicool’s turn, then you can skip this show with total ease. Though JBL’s commentary could possibly be worth this show, since sometimes he single handedly raises the bar for announcing. Until next Friday, ciao y’all.

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