InsidePulse’s ECW on Sci-Fi Report 07.04.06
Live from the Wachovia Center in Philadelphia, PA.
Announcers are Joey Styles & Tazz
By: John Cavanagh
It’s the 4th of July and here I am recapping a show instead of being out at a party getting drunk and celebrating the invention of fire works… or whatever the holiday stands for. Something about independence? So it better be more than the predictable Sabu wins, Show dominates, Vampire lurks, Kelly strips, Sandman canes, and even more stalling on giving the show its own identity. But Vince is taking over control, so I doubt it.
The show starts with Heyman (as promised) talking about Van Dam losing the title on RAW last night, but reassures us that RVD is in fact the ECW champion. He goes on about how he’s been the hardest working champion in recent memory and has displayed more pride, passion and ambition than any champion before him. And that tonight we’ll proudly acknowledge Van Dam’s accomplishments. Big Show barges in to the room and confronts Heyman about the championship match he was promised when signing with the company. Paul tells him that he’s correct but that right now the ECW champ needs the support of the locker room. Show tells Paul that he isn’t “asking” for the match, he’s demanding it. Tonight.
Opening video package.
Styles and Tazz talk about the sudden match but are interrupted for Kelly’s Expose (Salute to America Edition). Doesn’t this girl know more than one dance routine? She’s wearing an American flag in place of a bra and beneath that is what seems like a painted on bra. Knox interrupts and everyone boos. Which cuts straight to a match between him and Little Guido (who gets no entrance).
Mike Knox vs. Little Guido
Knox gets on the mic before the match and talks about how Kelly is his and his alone. The entire audience is against the guy with “shut the f*ck up” chants that have been missing from the show for the past few weeks. Guido starts the match with a few kicks to Knox to get him on his knees and then applies a few round house kicks to the head. Guido goes for a leg drop from the top rope but misses. Knox takes control and begins working on Guido’s back. The crowd begins to yell “you can’t wrestle” at Knox. “Knox sucks c*ck” chants start and he’s still using generic big man #2354 move set on Guido. Guido tries to get some offense in but Knox give him a vicious boot to the face, hits his finisher and gets the win.
Winner: Mike Knox
Recap from last nights main event on RAW.
Van Dam walks in to Heyman’s office and wants to know if it’s true that Show demanded a title match. He tells him that in ECW he isn’t going to allow the brand to become about the big guys getting the top spot, whether they earned it or not. He says if Show thinks he’s top dog then to go ahead and allow the match. Paul tells him he’s been through enough but RVD insists on the match.
Styles and Tazz tell us that Test is making his debut tonight.
Some bald guy dressed up as a man of the cloth interrupts and begins degrading ECW. He says it’s his first ECW show and everything about is wrong and the product shouldn’t exist, that we should all be ashamed of ourselves. He says that if we enjoy ECW then we’re all sinners and we’re all going to burn in hell. He says that he isn’t a priest and just wanted to express his opinion on the show, then goes back to his front row seat.
Enter Sandman (that saying works so much better with the actual song…)
He goes in to the ring then leaves to stand on the barricade and the fans are loving it, he points the cane at the faux priest and makes his way over. He begins slapping him around a little and then gives the thumbs down and canes him. The bald guy runs away and Sandman celebrates with a cold one in the middle of the ring. One of these days they should put him in an actual match…
RVD goes up to Show and asks if he really does want a title match, Show says yes. Van Dam accepts and slaps him in the face then walks away.
RVD is walking down the hallway and Heyman runs up to ask him where his head is at. Van Dam replies by asking the same question, a little reverse psychology. He tells Paul that in order for him to be ECW champ he HAS to beat Big Show tonight. Heyman tells him that he’s 100% right and that the match is on for tonight.
Test vs. Al Snow (w/ Head)
Test begins destroying Snow in the corner and the ref breaks Test off of him (ECW rules?). Everyone and their mother is against Test in the match with “You take steroids” chants. He allows Snow to take a few shots in but hits the big boot and a new neck breaker finisher for the pin.
After the match Test punts Head in to the audience.
Sabu video package that tells us that he’s suicidal, homicidal and genocidal.
The Vampire spits blood at the camera outside. Doesn’t Gangrel own that move?
CM Punk tells us that he’s straight edge, a man of great discipline, doesn’t drink, smoke or do drugs, his addiction is wrestling and his obsession competition.
Time for the main event. The men make their way to the ring for what feels like five minutes.
Rob Van Dam vs. Big Show
ECW World Heavyweight Championship Match
The match starts with the men circling the ring and the audience breaks out a “Marijuana” chant to which RVD eggs them on for more. Van Dam tries for a few kicks to Shows knees but gets a closeline from Show followed by a headbutt. RVD rolls outside and Show follows, Show tries to ram Van Dam spine first in to the ring post but Rob counters, sending Show head first in to the steel. Van Dam looks to setup a moon sault off the barricade but Show pushes him forward sending Van Dam to fall on the barricade split between the legs. Show capitalizes with a slap to the chest. The two are fighting it out in the audience in a slugfest. Show tries to get back over but Van Dam quickly hits a kick to the back of the head. Which sets up Van Dam’s leg drop off the side apron.
They recap what happened during the break which mostly consisted of Show dominating.
Both men are back in the ring and Rob tries to hit a spring board side kick off the middle rope but Show barely moves an inch. He attempts to go up top but Show lands another headbutt. Big Show climbs the ropes after Van Dam and hits a monster superplex on the ECW champ. Show goes for a pin but Van Dam gets a shoulder up in time. Show hits some odd leg drop move, goes for another pin and still only gets a two. Show hits a body slam and elbow drop but still only gets a two. He goes for a bear hug but the fans aren’t buying it. Big Show puts Van Dam in a back breaker and holds the move trying to hyper extending RVD’s spine. Van Dam fights out of it with a few knees to Show’s temple. Finally RVD begins to use his speed and agility to his advantage but gets setup for the choke slam which he counters in to a DDT. Van Dam connects Rolling Thunder but Show kicks out by bench pressing Van Dam off of him. Rob goes up top for a side kick get Show grabs him mid air and tosses him to the outside. Show grabs the steel steps but Van Dam sweeps his legs and Show goes down knocking his head off the steps. Van Dam goes up top once more and goes for a cross body but Show yet again grabs him, this time putting him back first in to the side of the ring. Rob grabs a steel chair, Show sees it coming and slaps it right out of his hands. Choke Slam by Big Show but Van Dam kicks out. Show is irate and ragdolls the referee. Big Show goes for a powerbomb but van Dam grabs the chair and clocks Show. Both men get up, Van Dam hits the Van Daminator, Show is set up for the Five Star and Van Dam connects. He goes for the pin but there isn’t a ref in sight, Heyman runs out, 1… 2… Heyman gets up and Rob is dumbfounded. Heyman leaves the ring and Rob still can’t figure out what’s going on. Show gets up with the chair in hand and hits Rob, Heyman calls for the Choke Slam, Show hits it and Heyman counts the 123.
Winner: *NEW* ECW World Heavyweight Champion Big Show
Show and Heyman celebrate in the ring and the crowd is livid, filling the ring with their beer cups.
Don’t forget, you can head over to the ECW Thread in our forums and share your thoughts on the show.
And while I have your attention, you should go over to the poll tournament created by IP’s own Michaelangelo McCullar in the movie section and help decide the funniest film of our generation.