Contradicting Popular Opinion: Happy 6th of July!

It is lamentable, that to be a good patriot one must become the enemy of the rest of mankind. ~Voltaire

In the church of America, this is holy week. Sure this column comes post-Independence Day, really post-Canada Day, and super-post-Independence Day, but is it not still appropriate to talk about these things? I mean, the Declaration of Independence was written on July 2nd. So really all those exploding things on TV were 2 days late.

But I digress.


Sure, Oscar Wilde said that it is the virtue of the vicious.

And Samuel Johnson referred to it as the last refuge of the scoundrel.

And maybe George Shaw believed that “Patriotism is a pernicious, psychopathic form of idiocy[.]”

And okay, Einstein saw it as an infantile disease…

All right, and Ambrose Bierce said that it is the first resort of the scoundrel.

…But, as another fella once said, “America, f*ck yeah!”

This column is dedicated to the movie that best defines America. A film described by Joe Bob Briggs as, “The most sensitive and intelligent movie about nuclear war ever directed by Sylvester Stallone.”

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:

Ah, Rocky IV, the movie that inspires lazy people to exercise. The movie that inspires the slow-witted to learn Roman Numerals. The movie that shows that, deep down, even the godless commies want to cheer for the awesomeness that is America.

Rocky IV, I salute you.