The Write Off: Paul Bearer’s Hits from the Crypt

Paul Bearer’s Hits from the Crypt Review

Hey everyone, I have returned to Inside Pulse after a lengthy absence and returned with a new review format as well. Since the title of this column is named the Write Off, in a tribute to one of my favorite WWF wrestlers Irwin R. Schyster, I have modeled my reviews like a tax agency. Gone are the star ratings for matches and replacing them will be three ratings that will be given at the end of a match. They are (in order from worst to best):

1-Penalty (means a bad match)
2-Audit (means the match was average)
3-Deduction (means the match was good)
3-Return (means the match was excellent)

At the end of the review in my final evaluation I will add up all of the penalties, audits, deductions, and returns and use that as a criteria to evaluate the video. Got it? Good and away we go with a 1994 WWF Coliseum Video release, Paul Bearer’s Hits from the Crypt.

Also, the link to my archives is busted on the bottom of this page. If you are interested in visiting my archives go to this address: http://www.insidepulse.com/indexNewTopic.php?userid=244

Event Details:
Location: Various
Host: Paul Bearer (Stan Lane, Gorilla Monsoon, Vince McMahon, “Macho Man” Randy Savage, and Johnny Polo on commentary)
Reported Attendance: N/A

Opening Match from Syracuse, New York: “Double J” Jeff Jarrett vs. Lex Luger:

Both men lockup to start with Luger getting a clean break in the corner and then trapping Jarrett in a few headlocks. Shoulderblock off the ropes mows down Jarrett and Jarrett complains about a hair pull. Jarrett traps Luger in the corner and hits some shoulder thrusts but Luger reverses a hiptoss out of the corner and gives Jarrett one of his own which results in more stalling from Jarrett. Nevertheless, the crowd remains pretty hot and starts up a “USA” chant which makes no sense since Jarrett is from TENESSEE. Jarrett works over Luger’s arm and yells at the crowd as he has an armbar applied. However, Luger ducks under a Jarrett clothesline and gives Jarrett a gorilla press slam but Jarrett hides behind the referee. Luger finally gets hold of Jarrett again and whips him into the corner but a blind charge eats boot and Jarrett hits a second rope clothesline. No cover though, which I do not understand, and he proceeds to field goal kick Luger around the ring. Jarrett gets a snapmare and a second rope fistdrop for two.

Jarrett chokes Luger on the second rope and gets an elbow off the ropes. I am not sure what psychology Jarrett is using for this match since he abandoned working on the arm several minutes ago. Jarrett hits two double axehandles off the second rope but a third one gets a fist to the gut. However, Luger whips Jarrett into the corner only to be greeted by a blind charge and Jarrett hits a side suplex for two. Jarrett takes Luger to the buckle, rakes the eyes, and hops onto Luger’s back to apply a sleeper as Stan Lane expertly notes on commentary that Jarrett is forcing Luger to carry his whole body weight which increases the devastating feel of the move. See, it is little things like that which you do not get to see on commentary these days. Jarrett gets a two-count from the sleeper and when the referee checks the arms Luger’s drop twice but raise on the third time and Luger rams Jarrett into the corner successively to have the hold released.

Jarrett attempts a hiptoss but Luger reverses to a backslide for two. Jarrett regains the advantage and tries a suplex but Luger blocks and hits a suplex of his own for the double KO. Both men get up and Luger unloads with fists and hits an atomic drop. Luger then floats over Jarrett’s back on a back drop but his attempt at a rollup is thwarted. However, Jarrett jaws with the fans too much so Luger hits two clotheslines, an elbow off the ropes, powerslam off the ropes, and the Rebel Rack gets the submission victory at 13:09.

MATCH RATING: DEDUCTION. This match was much better than I remembered. It is a very old school match with Jarrett using some stalling techniques to start and then controlling much of the match until Luger makes his comeback to finish Jarrett off. The match was also helped by a crowd that remained involved throughout. Good selection for the tape.

Intercontinental Championship Match: ‘The Bad Guy” Razor Ramon (Champion) vs. “The Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels (w/Diesel):

This match appears to be from late-1993 or early-1994 when Ramon and Michaels were still having their “I am the undisputed Intercontinental Champion” feud that would culminate in their classic ladder match at WrestleMania X. Michaels shoves Ramon to start but when he turns around after stretching on the top rope Ramon throws a toothpick in his face. Michaels proceeds to slap Ramon and then bail and Ramon follows right back into the ring where he hits a powerslam reverse off a Michaels leapfrog for two. Shouderblock off the ropes from Ramon gets two. Michaels then hits a swinging neckbreaker off the ropes when Ramon ducks his head on a whip for two. Ramon hits a punch on Michaels when he tries a sunset flip and then clotheslines Michaels to the arena floor.

Outside they go and Ramon hits a hard punch and removes the arena floor padding to try a Razor’s Edge but Michaels wiggles his way out and shoves Ramon face first into the ring post. Why doesn’t anyone do that spot anymore? Michaels comes into the ring to break the count and then goes back outside to slam Ramon on the concrete because he can. Ramon rolls back in and Michaels hits a backbreaker and axehandles the hell out of Ramon’s back. Hard Irish whip sends Ramon into the turnbuckle and Michaels hits a double axehandle onto Ramon’s back off of the turnbuckles. Michaels then delivers a snapmare and applies a reverse chinlock. Ramon fights up but Michaels jerks the hit and reapplies the chinlock.

Ramon fights out of another chinlock, though, and gets a backslide off the ropes for two. However, Michaels knocks Ramon back down after the move and gets a very close two-count off of that. Michaels goes right back to the chinlock and gets four near-falls out of it. See, that is what I like to see in wrestling: making rest holds matter. I might also note that Michaels has an interesting chinlock applied with him in a sitting position and Ramon’s head in his lap while the move is applied. Ramon fights up again, though, after his arm has already dropped twice and he hits a kneelift off the ropes for the double KO.

Both men beat the count and Ramon whips Michaels into the buckle and delivers a backdrop but that creates double KO #2 because Ramon’s back is too damaged to continue the punishment. Both men return to their feet and Ramon delivers a series of heavy fists that Michaels excellently sells. However, Diesel pulls Ramon outside of the ring and while they fight Michaels comes outside and joins in and that leads to a double-countout at 11:23.

BUT WAIT! Ramon gets on the house microphone and demands that the match be restarted. Michaels contemplates whether to come back into the ring as Diesel distracts Ramon on the apron. Michaels then gets on the top rope and tries to hit Ramon with a double-axehandle but Ramon gives him a fist to the gut and then hits a fallaway slam for two when he catches a Michaels cross body attempt off the ropes. Ramon tries to side suplex Michaels off the second rope but Michaels gives him a fist to the face and then hits a reverse bodypress off the top rope. However, Ramon rolls though that for two. Michaels then suddenly hits a crescent kick (which would later be called Sweet Chin Music) for two and we get a double-clothesline spot that also takes out the referee.

Michaels gets up first and runs at Ramon but Ramon grabs him by the hair and drives his face into the canvas. Ramon hits the Razor’s Edge but there’s no referee and Diesel comes in with the Intercontinental belt draped around his elbow and elbowdrops the back of Ramon’s head to give us double KO #4 of the match. Monsoon sums up some of my confusion, though, as to why Diesel did not just go ahead and drape Michaels over Ramon and wake up the referee. Michaels crawls over to cover Ramon as the referee simultaneously revives but that only gets two as Marty Jannetty storms the ring and pushes Michaels off of Ramon. The referee, though, does not call for a disqualification even though he is in plain sight of Jannetty’s interference and Michaels grabs Jannetty from behind so Diesel can punch him out from the apron. However, at the last moment Jannetty moves, Michaels takes the blow, and as Jannetty knocks Diesel off the apron Ramon gets a rollup for three at 4:50.

MATCH RATING: RETURN and big return at that. You just cannot go wrong when these two are in action. This is one of the best matches I have ever seen on a Coliseum video release that was non-pay-per-view as the action was intense and had lots of ups and downs to play the crowd like a fiddle.

Bam Bam Bigelow (w/Luna Vachon) vs. Mabel (w/Oscar):

DAMN IT! Just when I thought I was enjoying myself I get this match. Oh well, Bigelow is involved so maybe I should not be so pessimistic. Oscar comes to the ring saying a bunch of things I do not understand. You know, when they turned Mabel heel they should have kept Oscar around and had him start singing soft rock stuff instead of rap music to totally distance Mabel from his rapping roots. I might also add before this match starts that for two years of Coliseum video releases Bigelow was always fighting a fat guy whether it was either one of the Natural Disasters or Mabel.

Bigelow attacks from behind to start off the match but Mabel reverses a whip into the buckle and hits an elbow to Bigelow’s face. Mabel misses an elbowdrop but catches Bigelow off the ropes with an ARMDRAG and works over the arm for a while to catch his breath after the devastating arm drag we saw earlier. I almost feel like I am watching a simulated version of this match on Smackdown vs. Raw 2006 where you pick a big guy and he turns into the next Chris Benoit. Back to the match as Bigelow fights up but he fails to suplex Mabel because he is HUGE and Mabel hits a DDT. Splash off the ropes fails, though, and Bigelow delivers a standing enzeguri to the back of Mabel’s head which sends him outside the ring.

Outside, Bigelow stomps away as Luna and Oscar have a confrontation inside the ring. I am sorry Oscar but if I had to put my money on who is going to win that fight it is ALWAYS going to be Luna. Mabel rolls into the ring after a lengthy period and Bigelow applies an armbar for the lack of anything better to do. Mabel fights up but Bigelow eventually gets another takedown and goes back to the armbar as the crowd goes mild. One interesting thing, though, is that there are quite a few kids at ringside and they sustain a large Mabel chant for almost the entire length of the move. Mabel finally escapes and hits Bigelow with a hiptoss, shoulderblock, dropkick, and then a spinning heel kick for two.

Mabel whips Bigelow into the turnbuckle and gives him a running splash against the buckles. Mabel tries a bulldog out of the corner but Bigelow uses Mabel’s forward momentum to slam him down to the canvas to get two. Bigelow misses a charge at Mabel and ends up in the corner and Mabel gives him a slam. Mabel follows it up with a Cactus clothesline and both men go splat on the outside of the ring leading to a double-countout at 8:33.

MATCH RATING: AUDIT. My feelings are mixed on this match. On one hand it never went anywhere but on the other hand it was not so atrocious as to warrant my ire. Plus, both men are decently mobile for their size, pulled out some pretty good spots, and the finishing bump looked devastating enough to lead to a double-countout by both men being knocked out. Therefore, my vote goes for the middle ground and an audit.

WWF Tag Team Championship Match: The Quebecers (Champions w/Johnny Polo) vs. The Headshrinkers (w/Afa and Captain Lou Albano):

This is from Monday Night Raw when the Headshrinkers finally got a tag team championship match against the Quebecers who had been ducking their challenge and had to be ordered to defend the titles by WWF President Jack Tunney. To show you how well hyped this entire issue was the crowd is red hot to see this match. Pierre and Fatu start and a lockup leads to a stalemate. Pierre locks in a headlock but Fatu hits a standing shoulderblock. Pierre pushes Fatu who pushes back and then hits a headbutt for two. Both teams switch out and now we have Jacques Rougeau versus Samu. Lockup sees Jacques pushed against the buckles but he gets a thumb to the eye. Fun spot as Jacques tries a monkeyflip but Samu puts on the breaks on the ropes and hits a falling headbutt for two.

Pierre tries to hit Samu in the back with a double axehandle off the second rope as he covers but Samu moves and Pierre hits his partner. We then see a four-way brawl as the Headshrinkers throw the Quebecers into each other and then double-clothesline Pierre to the floor. The Quebecers then decide that they have had enough and decide to take the countout. However, referee Earl Hebner will have none of that and declares that if the Quebecers do not return to the ring within ten seconds that the titles will be handed over to the Headshrinkers. The Quebecers return at the count of seven and we are CLIPPED (due to commercial break) to Fatu giving Pierre a slam for two. Tag to Samu and he legdrops Pierre’s arm and gives him a backbreaker for two. Tag to Fatu and the Headshrinkers give Pierre a double-knife edge chop. However, Jacques knees Fatu in the back when he runs the ropes and Pierre gets in a clothesline so Fatu can do his 360 sell.

The action spills to the outside where Jacques throws Fatu into the steps. Pierre rolls Fatu in and Jacques hits an elbow off the ropes. Tag Pierre the Quebecers double-throw Fatu’s head against the canvas after hitting him in the mid-section off the ropes and Jacques slams Pierre onto Fatu for two. The crowd starts chanting “USA” and when I start contemplating how that helps the Headshrinkers Randy Savage steps in as the voice of reason and says that the crowd is chanting for “American Samoa.” Hmm…okay I will buy it. Stiff clothesline from Pierre off the ropes when Jacques holds Fatu in place gets two after some choking. Jacques hits a slam and then backdrops Pierre onto Fatu for two. The Quebecers offense was just freakin’ awesome.

CLIPPED again to Fatu backdropping Pierre over the top rope and to the floor. Hot tag Samu and he unloads on the Quebecers with fists and headbutts. Samu gives the Quebecers a double-noggin knockers, slams Jacques, and backdrops Pierre. However, when he charges at Jacques for a clothesline Jacques ducks and Samu ends up getting his head wedged in the ropes. Jacques uses the ropes to continue choking Samu as his head is locked in the rope vice and then hits a delayed piledriver. Tag Pierre and Jacques attempts to pancake slam Pierre off the top rope onto Samu to end the match but Samu moves and Jacques ends up slamming his own partner.

The crowd goes insane and all hell breaks loose at this point as Polo hops onto the ring apron but is pulled down by Albano and held in place for an Afa fist which finds its mark. False tag to Fatu as Jacques is tagged in by Pierre and as the referee tries to get Fatu back to his corner, Pierre holds Samu in place for a Jacque fist off the ropes but Samu moves at the last second and Pierre takes the blow. Pierre tells Jacques its okay and then smashes Jacques in the face before falling to ringside in exhaustion. Samu clotheslines Jacques and the Headshrinkers give Jacques a double-face plant. Samu then knocks Pierre off of the apron and Fatu hits the top rope splash on Jacques to win the titles at 12:29.

MATCH RATING: RETURN. This match practically takes your breath away because even if you know how it ends there’s a lot of great storytelling involved that makes you pay attention to practically everything. This match goes to show you that tag team wrestling can main event any RAW or Smackdown! show and also shows how watered down tag team wrestling (and generally all wrestling for that matter) has become in today’s WWE. Fantastic action from all involved, especially the Headshrinkers who were showing a ton of motivation out there in this one.

Adam Bomb (w/Harvey Wippleman) vs. Earthquake:

As if the WrestleMania X squash was not enough we get this rematch from an episode of Monday Night Raw. Bomb attacks from behind to start and pounds away on Earthquake. However, Earthquake hits a hiptoss and clotheslines Bomb to the floor. Back inside, Bomb tries some shoulderblocks but that does not send the Earthquake anywhere and Earthquake gives him a short clothesline and that causes Bomb to bail. However, Bomb hot shots Earthquake’s neck across the top rope and then hits a flying clothesline from the apron into the ring. Bomb follows it up with an elbowdrop for two.

Clothesline from Bomb gets Earthquake tied up in the ropes and Wippleman taunts Howard Finkel at ringside until Finkel stands up and Wippleman runs away. When the action focuses back on the ring Earthquake misses an elbowdrop and Bomb hits his top rope clothesline finisher but Earthquake kicks out at two. Bomb chokes Earthquake in the corner and whips him into the opposite corner but blind charge eats boot. Earthquake hits a belly-to-belly suplex and nails an elbowdrop and running legdrop. One Quake later and this one is finished at 4:19.

MATCH RATING: AUDIT. While this match helped to further delegitimize Adam Bomb as a threat in the WWF at the expense of building up Earthquake so he could later fight with Yokozuna, it is a respectable affair that is not insulting.

Non-Title Match: Bret “Hitman” Hart (WWF Champion) vs. Kwang (w/Harvey Wippleman):

This match is also from Monday Night Raw. For those who are not familiar, Kwang is Savio Vega under a mask. Furthermore, is Harvey Wippleman the worst manager in WWF history? The guy always had to manage people that had little redeeming value and the only champion he ever managed was Bertha Faye. Just my two cents. Kwang attacks from behind to start and hits a standing spin kick before spitting green mist into the air. Hey Kwang, why didn’t you just spit that in Bret’s eyes? Kwang blind charge into the corner eats buckle and Bret gets an armdrag after wearing down the arm a little bit. Bret applies an armbar on the mat and gets a rollup on Kwang for two before heading back to the armbar. However, when Bret is running the ropes Kwang grabs him and throws him to the outside.

Outside, Kwang nails Bret in the back of the head with an elbow off the apron and slams Bret’s head into the apron. Back inside, Kwang throws Bret into the corner and hits a spinning kick against the buckles which eventually gets two. Bret hits a crossbody off the ropes for two. However, when Bret gets back up Kwang knocks him down with a fist. Kwang chokes Bret on the second rope as Owen Hart is describing what he is going to do to Bret on the WrestleMania revenge tour over the phone. Kwang applies the devastating NERVE HOLD. Bret fights up, though, and then holds back when running the ropes as Kwang kicks at the air.

Bret hits a clothesline for two. Small package gets two. Backbreaker and second rope elbowdrop gets two. Would it have actually hurt Bret ever to WIN a match with that move once in a while? Kwang hits Bret in the gut with a thrust but Bret comes back with a side reverse Russian legsweep and the Sharpshooter gets a submission at 6:48.

MATCH RATING: AUDIT. Pretty much a generic Bret Hart versus midcarder match where the midcarder hits a few key spots and Bret runs through his moveset before applying the Sharpshooter for the win. Good match but nothing spectacular.

Six Man Tag Team Match: The Quebecers and Jeff Jarrett (w/Johnny Polo) vs. Men on a Mission and Doink (w/Oscar and Dink):

I am very surprised the WWE has not brought Doink back and put him on Smackdown! After all, they already have Tatanka and I would not hate a Doink return as long as it was evil Doink and not the fan favorite Doink because the latter version sucked. Doink and Jacques start with Doink delivering a fistdrop after putting on the breaks when Jacques tries a monkey flip but Jarrett knees Doink in the back when he runs the ropes. Jarrett then comes in and stomps the crap out of Doink and bails when Doink reverses a whip into the ropes. Pierre and Mo get tagged in and a Mo shoulderblock goes nowhere. Pierre hits a flying shoulderblock for two and then applies an armbar. Mo tries to fight out but gets a thumb to the eye as Jacques tries a double team from the outside. That gets broken up by the referee and Mo hits a brutal spinebuster for two.

Jarrett gets tagged in and Mo tags in Doink again but Pierre comes behind Doink and hits him in the gut and while the referee is preoccupied with the faces all three heels beat up Doink. The heels beat Doink from pillar to post for a while and Pierre gets two after Jacques backdrops him onto Doink. The heel beatdown continues to the degree that some of Doink’s hair gets loose from his wig. Pierre then picks up another two count after Jacques slams him onto Doink this time. Doink continues to get killed until he pulls out a fluke sunset flip on Jarrett for two until Jacques breaks it up. Double-elbow off the ropes by Jacques and Jarrett gets nothing as Mo pulls Jacques off of Doink and then we get a collision between Doink and Jacques for a double KO.

Jacques tags Pierre and he cuts off the tag but after Pierre slams Doink he gets a foot to the face when he dives off the turnbuckles and we get a false tag to Mabel. However, Jarrett clotheslines Jacques by accident when Jacques holds onto Doink and Doink moves but Doink again fails to make the tag. Jacques hits a piledriver but that only gets two when Doink puts his foot on the ropes. Jacques tags Pierre and tries to pancake slam him off the top rope onto Doink but Doink moves and we get hot tag to Mabel. Mabel hits the heels with clotheslines and elbows and then elbowdrops Jacques. Six-way brawl sees Men on a Mission clothesline Pierre out of the ring as Doink runs Jarrett to the back and after Mo jumps off the top rope onto Mabel’s back and carries him down onto Jacques that finishes things at 10:33.

MATCH RATING: AUDIT. I like six man tag matches for the most part and this match was fine but it missed one critical element: where was the face domination at the beginning? All we saw was a brief glimpse of face offense before the heels started kicking the crap out of the faces. I think that really messed up the flow of this match and made the faces look weak. Also, where was Johnny Polo? If he had his shenanigans going on also in this match it may have been a deduction instead.

~The first ever installment of “strategy tips” is hosted by Todd Pettengill and he goes over some secret codes for the SNES and SEGA versions of WWF Raw. Boy did I love that game.

Crush & Yokozuna (w/Mr. Fuji) vs. “Macho Man” Randy Savage & Lex Luger:

Savage has some type of knee or leg injury in this match and he limps down to the ring during entrances. After a good two minutes passes by we finally get started with Luger squaring off against Yokozuna. Yokzouna pokes at Luger’s chest to start and Luger blocks a fist and unloads with a series of fists only to be stopped by a Yokozuna club to the back. Luger goes under a Yokozuna clothesline and gets in two of his own only to be stopped by a Yokozuna clothesline. However, Yokozuna misses an elbowdrop and Luger ties up Yokozuna’s arm and the faces work it over briefly. Yokozuna ends up poking Luger in the eye and tags in Crush who chokes Luger in the corner. Crush whips Luger against the buckles but a splash against the buckles sees Luger move and tag in Savage who unloads with fists and slams Crush down. However, when Savage tries to go on the top rope for the elbowsmash, Fuji gives him a weak tap with the Japanese flag and when Savage pursues him he’s ambushed by Yokozuna and rolled back in the ring.

Back in, Crush gives Savage a martial arts beatdown around the ring and gets two after it. Crush locks Savage in a body vice before getting as bored as I am and tagging in Yokozuna. Then we see a NERVE HOLD which makes me yearn for Crush to get back inside. Savage fights out only to get poked in the eyes some more and Yokozuna methodically resumes control. Yokozuna whips Savage into the corner but a blind charge eats buckle for a double KO. Yokozuna tags in Crush and he cuts off Savage before he can tag Luger. Crush stalls and gives Savage a backbreaker but a top rope fistdrop or something like that misses and Savage gives a hot tag to Luger.

Luger hits a clothesline on Crush and a DDT when Crush puts his head down on a whip but Yokozuna interrupts the count at zero. Four-way brawl sees Yokozuna and Savage fight on the floor as Crush gives Luger a thrust kick. However, Savage takes Yokozuna into the post to win their battle on the floor and then as Fuji is distracting the referee hits Crush in the back of the head with the salt bucket as he is attempting to piledrive Luger and Luger rolls a limp Crush over for the pin at 11:22.

MATCH RATING: PENALTY. Leave it to the most star studded match on the entire tape to be the worst match of the night. On one side you had an entertaining team in Luger and Savage and on the other side you had a slow and methodical team in Crush and Yokozuna and that is one styles clash that is very difficult to overcome. This match never got moving which is exemplified in the fact that the crowd is nearly non-responsive to Luger’s hot tag and does not care much about the finish. Very disappointing contest.

Main Event of the Tape: Crush (w/Mr. Fuji) vs. The Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer):

Guess this match had to be the main event since Paul Bearer is the host. However, Johnny Polo is on commentary with Gorilla Monsoon for this match so the chances are that it is going to be entertaining because Polo molds as well with Monsoon as did Ventura and Heenan. Staredown starts the match and when the Undertaker turns to look at the urn he gets Pearl Harbored by Crush. However, when Crush puts his head down on a whip he gets DDT’d by the Undertaker. Undertaker tries an elbowdrop but the misses and Crush clotheslines the Undertaker to the floor. Unfortunately for Crush, though, he’s dealing with the Undertaker who lands on his feet and then stun guns Crush across the top rope before returning to the inside of the ring.

The Undertaker gets in the ropewalk spot and clotheslines Crush who does not fall down. Crush moves out of the way, though, of an Undertaker flying clothesline and Undertaker falls to the floor. Crush thrust kicks Undertaker to the floor, hits him in the back with a fist off of the apron, and slams the Undertaker’s head into the steel post. Crush then gets a chair and whacks the Undertaker on the back and jams it in his throat. Oh hey, this match must be EXTREME because Bill Alphonso is the referee! What a small world! Crush methodically hammers away on the Undertaker on the floor as I note how dead this crowd is and we go back inside where Crush gets a series of kicks. I might also note that Polo makes a GREAT observation when he says that after the Undertaker gets knocked down it takes three to four seconds to get up so if you cover him with the right referee you might win the match. Just thought I would share.

The Undertaker no-sells a take to the buckle and chokes Crush in the corner. Undertaker whips Crush into the opposite corner but Crush gives him an elbow when he covers to choke again and then delivers a backbreaker. Military press slam from Crush and a standing legdrop are delivered as Polo hilariously counts out loud that seconds the Undertaker is down. Undertaker gives Crush a flying clothesline off the ropes and then no-sells a Crush kick when he puts his head down on a whip. Crush then decides to give Undertaker a Tombstone piledriver but that is death because Undertaker reverses and hits the Tombstone for the pin at 7:02.

MATCH RATING: PENALTY. All Undertaker matches from his original days to the time Mankind joined the WWF in 1996 were almost total garbage as they were all plodding. However, that fit his gimmick so it is not his fault. Nevertheless, while this match is a total wash the commentary is quite funny between Monsoon and Polo and while I have said for a long time that the Ventura needs to return to WWE for commentary I think getting Polo would suffice too.