The RAW Events
— The following presentation of the Raw Events is rated R. You’ve been forewarned. And a few “X’s” in between, we’ll see.
Sioux City, IA
Hosts: JR & The King
The MAIN Events
– John Cena vs. Shelton Benjamin
You know I was wondering where Benjamin had taken off to since his IC loss. Plus we got Edge for announcing duties here. Cena gets the first shoulder block first before getting slapped by Shelton. Kick goes up to the face and Benjamin begins to slug away. Reversed vertical suplex is reversed to a neck breaker for two for Shelton! Supposedly there’s gonna be a special celebration from Edge and Lita.
Shelton still works on Cena, locking him up in a headlock. But Cena however overpowers and works his way out for 2! Edge distracts Cena from the outside, giving Shelton some time to hit a sharp kick into the back of Cena’s head from the top rope, knocking Cena out to the mat. And then we go to a quick break, coming back to see Benjamin still working Cena.
Another headlock is in place, but Cena once again works out of it, and slugs a few at Benjamin before hitting him over with a couple clotheslines. Five knuckle shuffle connects and the FU is set up, but reversed and put into a Samoan drop for Benjamin to get 2! Back and forth for a bit and Shelton goes for the FU this time, but is blocked. Missed splash in the corner sets up the FU and we get the crappy STFU finisher.
Cena attacks Edge after the match, destroying the announcer table. Edge finally gets the upper hand thanks to Lita and Cena gets squashed while we get hundreds of what sounds like horny girls chanting for Cena. Edgecution and Spear finish it off. Thank goodness Edge is back on top.
Winner: John Cena (1)
– Melina vs. Trish Stratus
Not that much intriguing… as Melina gets the roll up pin after outside distraction from Nitro. Carlito comes in after the match to make the save wearing a pair of Khakis, is it just me, or does anyone else see, to find that odd looking?
Winner: Melina (2)
– The Highlanders vs. Rob Conway & Matt Striker
So we get the rematch no one wanted. And I guess neither did my television set as my cable goes out for the entire match. So I missed everything, sorry about that guys.
Winner: ??? (Not ranked)
– Charlie Hass vs. Viscera
This feud is still going on!?!?! Viscera powers through Hass to begin the match and does it through the majority of it too. Hass finally gets some offense in as he hits a missile drop kick form the top ropes. But falls into a HIGE sidewalk slam from Viscera. Hass avoids the squash in the corner and all of a sudden, Lillian Garcia steps up and doesn’t want the two fighting anymore. She says she just wants to be just friends. Viscera gets raked in the eyes as Viscera confuses Hass with Lillian and gets the Samoan drop accidentally. Yeah, cuz we can confuse a wrestler with a female ring announcer weight wise these days.
Winner: No Contest (Not ranked)
– Shane & Vince vs. Eugene
Stupid match just to begin with. The usual beat down until Eugene hulks up and is put down by the SS who is ring side. SS then get into the ring and do the beat down themselves. “Break it down!” DX finally walks out tonight. And Vince calls them to walk down the ramp in the middle. Vince calls out “how bout now brown cow” and nothing happens. DX walks down and a net misses them as Eugene gets the fluke win over Vince.
And until Saturday, if your not down with that, DX has two words for ya: “Suck it!”
Winner: Eugene (3)
Quick HEAT
— Edge is introduced to start off our show. And just to show the occasion, Edge is dressed in formal black as well as Lita. We get to see why as Edge and Lita unveil their own announce table to scout out his opponent for Saturday.
— The McMahon’s confront Eugene about thinking last weeks DX prank was funny. Both Shane and Vince will be competing tonight, against Eugene.
— Edge is back in his hotel, breaking the ring bell in the process. The bellhop can’t find the room, so Edge does his best “honky” voice to describe his room. The hop finds the room, but it isn’t ready yet so they head out to the bar.
— We get this HUGE exchange between Flair and Foley for a while, before Paul Heyman finally coming out to face up with Flair. Heyman introduces the new ECW champion, the Big Show. Show goes off for a while as well until he challenges Flair to come down to ECW tomorrow night to go one on one for the ECW title. Flair accepts and Show goes off to destroy Flair with his new backbreaker/ neck hold finisher.
— Eugene tries to apologize to Vince and Shane before his match up tonight. The McMahon’s aren’t mad at him though as they have a present for Eugene: A DX t-shirt. Then Shane goes off and dumps green paint over Eugene as they begin to bully him around.
— Heyman is backstage recruiting Candice Michelle for ECW to dance with Kelly Kelly.
— Edge and Lita are still at the bar drinking it up. The bellhop finally gets their room ready. Wow, talk about long service.
— Mike “The Miz” (the guy from the real world/ road rules challenge) comes out to announce the Diva search. My picks to win (like if it matters anyway) Erika or Amy.
— Orton Walks out and talks about how Hogan will be bringing Brooke to Saturday Night’s Main Event. And is looking forward to be introducing himself to her.
— Edge and Lita are still back at the hotel as they get some room service. Then Cena comes out and attacks Edge in the hotel room. Yeah, like we didn’t see that coming.
RAW Analysis
— Wow, what do you know we get a 15 minute match opener to start the show, which was actually decent. Plus it helps that Edge is with the strap again, as things seem more interesting just to see what he does. The only thing that doesn’t help is that they continue to make Cena the invincible wrestler always getting the upper hand. On top of that, there wasn’t much DX action tonight, which in ways was both good and bad. So-so show and not much build-up for Saturday Night. So we’ll see how they play that card when the weekend comes. Till the next EVENT, I’m out, peace.
