You Complete Bar Steward!

A hearty slap on the back to you all, and welcome to another fortnight edition of You Complete Bar Steward!

I’m busy busy busy as always, so let’s dive straight into it.

Slammer of the Fortnight – Barracuda
Difficulty Rating: 1/5
Taste/s: Sharp, Strong

1/3 Southern Comfort
1/3 Triple sec
1/3 Vodka

1 x Shot Glass


Simply pour equal parts of all three drinks into a shot glass.

A blonde waitress goes into work one morning crying her eyes out …

… Her boss, the bartender, concerned about all his employees’ well being, asked sympathetically, “What’s the matter?”

To which the blonde replies…..”Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.”

The boss, feeling very sorry at this point, explains to the young girl. “Why don’t you go home for the day…..we aren’t terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest.”

The blonde very calmly states……”No, I’d be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here.”

The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual….”If you need anything, just let me know.”

Well, a few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde hysterically crying!! He rushes out to her, asking, “What’s so bad now……..are you gonna be ok??”

“No……” exclaims the blonde. “I just got a call from my sister. She told me that HER mom died too!!”

Cocktail of the Fortnight – Fluffy Duck

Difficulty Rating: 1/5
Taste/s: Fuzzy, Creamy
Colour/s: Yellow, Brown

50ml Advocaat
50ml Creme de Cacao
Fill with Lemonade
Crushed Ice

Electric Blender

1. Sling all the ingredients into a blender (including the ice), blend for a short while, then serves in a large cocktail glass. Add straws if you desire.

At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens…

…. “It opens at noon,” answers the clerk. About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even drunker. “What time does the bar open?” he asks. “Same time as before… Noon.” replies the clerk. Another hour passes and he calls again, plastered “When joo shay the bar opins at?” The clerk then answers, “It opens at noon, but if you can’t wait, I can have room service send something up to you.” “No… I don’t wanna git in… Ah wanna git OUT!!!”

Last Orders…

So we come to the end of another YCBS!

Next fortnight, I might be doing a top 10 countdown of Hangover Cures… or something along those lines, so stay tuned.

Thanks for reading!

Danny Wallace.

Disclaimer: Any drinks you see on here are solely intended for your drinking pleasure. Danny Wallace, InsidePulse and any associated companies are in no way responsible for your actions once these drinks are consumed.