The NeelDown iMPACT Zone

– Got a lot to talk about before we get started, but first thing’s first: I leave for Florida Saturday morning, getting up bright and early at 4 AM to drive to Indianapolis which I hope to cover in an easy 2 hours, (you try paying the prices the Cincinnati airport has to offer, even one-way), and make my flight for Tampa. This will, of course, be preceded by the worst, most boring, f*cking dreadful part about flights: the wait in the airport before you can board the plane. The waiting around in the various lobbies with Chinese businessmen sitting around with laptops and rocking to Jars of Clay on their iPods. You can try the magazine gift shops and pick up a candy bar … or the God-awful “Hat World” or whatever that cap store conglomerate is called, which I have no idea what business it has being in a f*cking AIRPORT. And then there are the airport McDonalds, warm and welcome to serve you some sausage and cheese McBiscuits. Or worst of all … the Nascar store. I’m not downing the sport of Nascar (though I can’t say I enjoy it) … but good Lord, WHY do we NEED Nascar stores inside of an airport?! Someone please answer me that.

PC withdrawal?!

– Okay, now don’t even get me started on the airline food. Anyway, I’ll be gone for a full week, WITHOUT computer access (unless I get extremely lucky and there is a PC in the condo) which means no NIZ next week, or a video review. I had planned on getting something or other done earlier this week before departing, most likely the Jake Roberts DVD, but I did get the Summerslam 04 one done, so go check that out. Wish me a good vacation while you’re at it.

– Of course, this means I have to miss the release of the ECHL schedule which is planned for Monday (good luck getting an easy one, Cyclones). I did pick up Curb Your Enthusiasm season 2 today which I am looking forward to sometime, though.

– Anyway, let’s get this over with so I can get to packing my crap …

The NeelDown iMPACT Zone 07/13/06

– From Orlando, Florida

– Hosts are Mike Tenay & Don West

– We start the show with the ever-so fantastic Rhino interview, who has a red bag in hand and continues his rant from last week about Vince approaching him about joining ECW, but he is all for the TNA, and how can they have TNA without their last TV and Heavyweight Champion, ect. He says the title is in the bag to prove it and Vince should come take it from him. Then he walks out to the parking lot still slurring about how ECW is dead with Team 3-Dead (how fitting), himself, and so on here in TNA. So he says he will do a “proper burial” and throws the bag away and lights it on fire, then issues an open challenge of some sort. Great, that’s just what we need. A pretty enthusiastic promo from Rhino to start, though we know the “storyline” with the ECW feuding will never go anywhere.

Abyss v. Norman Smiley
I talked about it last week two, I really feel bad for Smiley at this point in his career. Smiley is able to duck a clothesline but Abyss makes quick work of him and there’s the Black Hole Slam. Well, hopefully we can skip the Monty Brown squash now. -*
Winner: Abyss

– Post-match The James Bore come out to “make a deal with the devil” about Abyss teaming with TJB against Team 3-Dead at Victory Road. If you want to hear my thoughts on this atrocious match/feud, you’ll have to wait for my comments and prediction in the Victory Road Roundtable that should go up sometime around Saturday.

Senshi v. Jerelle Clark
Why does it seem like Jerelle Clark just shows up like every couple of months? I mean, at least guys like Kenny King and Smiley, despite pulling squash jobber duty, are at least CONSISTENTLY on the show. I really don’t get that. Do they just keep him locked up in storage until they run out of guys to take a squash? Clark gets a quick headscissors to start but Senshi attacks with knees. Clark gets a crossbody for two and slugs away, but gets caught with a stiff kick for two. Another stiff kick while Clark is on all fours gets two. His offensive is a “matrix,” comments West. Clark tries rolling the snake eyes but Senshi gets an enzigiri and dropkick, setting up the double stomp, excuse me, the Warrior’s Way, and that’ll do it. Just basically a squash to highlight the new X champ. 1/4*
Winner: Senshi

– Christian Cage isn’t happy about Cornette’s decisions.

– PPppperatzi Productions presents us … Shelley and Devine talking about fighting AJ n’ Chris in a non-title match tonight.

Alex Shelley & Johnny Devine v. AJ n’ Chris
Shelley starts with Styles (*drool*) and they go back and fourth until evil Shelley pokes the eyes and tries to work the arm but Styles reverses it and tags in Styles who continues working on the arm and Styles bulldogs him over the knees. Daniels misses a dropkick after Devine held Shelley back, and Shelley follows with a spin kick. Devine comes in and does … well, virtually nothing, then tags Shelley back in who grounds Daniels so Devine can stomp him. Snapmare takeover gets two for Devine. Interesting that they use that as an offensive maneuver in itself. Good, but just surprising. Daniels snaps off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and they both tag out, with Styles cleaning house and gut wrenching Devine for two. Styles tries the Styles Clash on Devine but Shelley gives him an enzigiri. Shelley tries to use the tripod, but the mystery woman holds him back, and they finish with the Styles Clash on Devine for the pin. Well, I was hoping for a better match, but it was basically just used to promote the AMW & Gail feud, who attack afterwards, with handcuffs and all. **1/2
Winners: AJ n’ Chris

– Jeff Jarrett does his annual pre-PPV talk about defending his title, and that it makes him sick that the fans “turn on him” because he had nothing to do with the Earl Hebner incident. Man, I never saw the clip of when Jarrett won the title last month, that was some serious water bottle-pelting, worse than the treatment Heyman got Tuesday or that he got when Cornette gave him the title.

Team 3-Dead, Rhino, & Jay Lethal v. Team Canada
This is the match I was talking about last week, where if Canada wins, they won’t have to disband, and whoever gets the pin for the faces gets a title shot of his choosing. TC here is … well, looks like about everybody. Roode starts with D’Von, and they do some sloppy punch and duck to start. D’Von of course gains advantage and gets the leaning headbut for two. Bubba comes in for a sideslam for two. Petey comes in and gets hung in the tree of woe for the “USA” stomp. Jay Lethal comes in but gets caught via Canada’s heel tactics and falls victim to a Petey neckbreaker. Lethal gets an enzigiri and gets the hot tag to Rhino who cleans house, including a Lethal crossbody on Young for two. Uh … yeah. Anyway, it’s an all-brawl now, and Petey gets 3-D’ed. D’Von gets a DDT on Young. Roode takes out D’Von. Bubba gives Roode a full nelson slam. A1 takes out Bubba. Lethal rolls up A1 for two. Whoa this is some hot quick stuff. Lethal attacks A1 and while the ref is distracted D’Amore tries the LETHAL HOCKEY STICK POKE, but Spike (I still refuse to say “Runt”) runs out to stop him. Rhino comes in and GORES A1, followed by Lethal getting a top rope headbut for the pin, thus ending Team Canada’s tag team career and giving Lethal a “title shot of his choosing”, where of course he will challenge Senshi. **
Winners: Team 3-Dead, Rhino, & Jay Lethal

End of show.