NWA World Heavyweight Champion #1 Contender’s Match
Sting vs. Samoa Joe vs. Christian Cage vs. Scott Steiner
Mark Neeley: Ah, the good old fatal fourway. Time to break out the process of elimination booking strategy. First we can go ahead and eliminate Christian, who despite having his little Cinderella run cut short last month, would make no sense winning and having a rerun of the ref-bump city Against All Odds match against Jarrett. The next logical elimination would be Big Poppa Chump, who would need a miracle face turn after winning and facing off against other proto-heel champion Jarrett, despite those little “hints” of that possibly being the match as hinted on Impact. So that leaves us with two guys … Sting and Joe. Joe is feuding with Chump, despite his clean win over him. Although a Joe-beating on Jarrett is really what the crowd wants to see as Cornette talked about, it won’t happen, and Joe can go on and continue his feud with Chump. The only question that rises, though … is that how they will work it into his whole “never been pinned” shtick. So that leaves middle-aged Sting taking the contest, going on to fight Jarrett as if it was something new, but we’ve seen it before, even for FREE on Impact. So, huzzah.
Winner – Sting
Eric Szulczewski: Just trying to figure out the math here…okay, it’s currently July, right? Bound For Glory is in October. That’s the most likely PPV for Joe to win the world title. Can they stretch Jarrett/Joe out over three months? The answer is obviously no, since this is TNA, where they can’t book a proper squash without tripping all over their dicks. So, the question now becomes how to stretch out the transition so that Joe wins the title at Bound For Glory, and who he wins it from. I’d rather have a Tabasco enema than even think of Big Sump Pump, Number One Contender. Do they give Christian one more title match? I don’t think so. They need to blow off Jarrett/Sting. I still think there’s a quid pro quo title reign in Borden’s contract. Sting wins here, beats Jarrett at Hard Justice, has a two-month title reign, and jobs to Joe at Bound For Glory in his last match, passing the torch. The problem with that is that it makes sense, so I don’t expect TNA to do it. However, I’ll go with it anyway, because no other scenario makes any sense.
Winner – Sting
Logan Scisco: I don’t see Joe or Steiner winning this match since they still have to resolve their feud and it’s too early to feed Joe to Jarrett. Therefore, the match comes down to Cage vs. Sting and since Cage’s run at the top wasn’t a success I don’t see TNA management seeing dollar signs in another Jarrett vs. Cage match. Thus, Sting gets the duke in this match over Cage to claim the #1 Contenders spot and face Jarrett at a later date for the belt as Steiner and Joe fight to the backstage area most likely.
Winner-Sting
Danny Wallace: F*ck ’em up Joe… f*ck ’em up! Pull the trigger for Joe’s World Title push already. There’s no time like the present. Sting – past it, Cage – his time’s over.. Scotty – don’t make me laugh.
Winner – Samoa Joe
Matthew Michaels: I can’t see ANY result to this except for continuing the mega-push of the Samoan Submission Machine. Who does he pin? Something’s gotta spark that Christian heel turn…
Winner – Joe
David Brashear: Let’s start by ruling out who definitely should not win. Scott Steiner. I don’t see Christian getting the belt back this soon, and I don’t think that Sting (although being a name) should carry it either. I think that Joe’s time has come. If they don’t want to stretch Joe-Jarrett out until Bound For Glory, let Steiner argue that Joe eliminated him some way that was cheating. Joe can obliterate Steiner again, and then move on to JJ.
Winner- Samoa Joe.
NWA World Tag Team Titles
AJ Styles, Christopher Daniels, and The Neutralizer vs. America’s Most Wanted and Gail Kim
Eric Szulczewski: I haven’t bought into this feud at all, for some reason. Normally, if AMW, A. J., and Chris are involved, I pay attention. But with the women involved, something’s lost (replace the she-male with Christy, and I might have paid attention). As for the match, it’s too soon to switch the titles again. By the way, AMW haven’t won the titles too often; Edge and Christian became seven-time tag champs in less time than AMW will, and no one complained about that.
Winners – Triple-DX
Logan Scisco: This is a tough one to pick in my book because I like both teams and want to side with Daniels & Styles but for some reason I envision the Neutralizer getting stuck in the ring versus AMW to end the match with AMW pinning her and winning the straps without hurting Styles and Daniels credibility.
Winners and NEW Tag Champions-AMW & Gail Kim
Danny Wallace: And TNA shoots themselves in the foot yet again by a) bringing in ANOTHER person on the already loaded roster, and b) by having “Amazonya” or whatever she’s called team up with Styles & Daniels… a team that hardly needs a “Neutralizer”. They’re AJ-Sodding-Styles and Chris-Flipping-Daniels, for Layfield’s sake. Anyway, should be a decent match.
Winner – Styles & Daniels
Matthew Michaels: I can’t see them letting a three-person team win the belts unless they are trying to confuse the hell out of the fans.
Winners – The Phenominal Angelizer
David Brashear: Here’s the time in the month where I point out that it’s ridiculous to waste AJ and Daniels in the tag division when they and Samoa Joe should be a healthy chunk of the main event. I’m going with AMW getting the belts back, and Styles and Daniels go their separate ways.
Winners – AMW and Gail Kim
Mark Neeley: I’m not a fan of the mixed-tag match being for the tag straps, although if they weren’t, I would most likely be complaining that they wasted the space not doing a tag Championship. AJ n’ Chris jobbing the belts back to AMW so quick here would be a huge booking mistake. Let AMW take a break for a while … a long break at my request.
Winners – AJ n’ Chris
Six-Man Tag: Team 3D vs. The James Gang & Abyss:
Logan Scisco: They really need to maneuver the world title strap around Abyss soon instead of sticking him in stupid matches like this. I pick the James Gang & Abyss in this one since I see an easy finish in Abyss killing Runt as Brother Ray & Devon battle the James Gang on the outside.
Winners-The James Gang & Abyss
Danny Wallace: And Abyss is related to the Lame’s Gang (just made that up on the spot. CREATIVITY people!)… how exactly? No wonder Jim Mitchell is trying to get into ECW. Team 3D should pick up the victory after a hardcore brawl to show the boys in ECW how shortening your career is REALLY done.
Winner – Team 3D
Matthew Michaels: This seems rather thrown together, particularly without the availability of X-Pac. I think the Dudleyz have the edge here if nothing else due to experience of working together. Why should the Outlawz even trust Abyss?
Winners – Team 3-D
David Brashear: If they want to put the Outlaws back together again, throw Waltman with them instead of wasting Abyss. Still, I think the clock’s ticking on the James Gang anyway, so I’m giving them another loss here.
Winners – Team 3D
Mark Neeley: I don’t care how it happens, and I don’t think this match will be the antidote, but I just want this profusely boring, piece of shit feud to end. Honestly, no one cares about Team 3-Dead nor The James Bore in these pointless midcard matches. On top of that, this is just a complete repeat of their garbage match last PPV, throwing in Spike does nothing, throwing in Abyss because they have nothing better to do with him now that he is finally out of the title picture (not to mention Mitchell’s calls to ECW about managing Sabu) and had to rush him into the show somehow could mean something, but isn’t enough to make this meaningful. Just end it, please.
Winners – Team 3-Dead, I guess
Eric Szulczewski: No, the inclusion of Abyss still doesn’t make me care about this refried feud. And since Rhiyno took over Buh Buh Ray’s duties as Designated WWECW Basher, I care less. Blow this sucker off one way or another.
Winners – Irrelevant, which leads me to believe that there’s going to be some kind of No Decision here, probably involving Abyss, a table, thumbtacks, and Matt Hyson entering the Grievous Bodily Harm Division
Hair vs. Hair
Raven vs. Larry Zbyszko
Danny Wallace: Yeah… I could care less to be honest. This feud should have died a loooooong time ago. Raven to win.
Winner – Raven
Matthew Michaels: Will we ever find out what info Jackie Gayda knew or what was on that tape? Regardless, I read somewhere that Zbysko’s getting hairplugs or something, so…
Winner – Raven
David Brashear: Word is that Larry’s getting hair replacements, so this is an obvious one to call. Raven’s going to take the feud out back behind the barn and put a bullet through its head.
Winner – Raven
Mark Neeley: I have no interest nor care about this match whatsoever, so I will just add that a bald head is JUST what Raven needs to complete, as Widro once put it, his total transformation in looking like a cancer patient.
Winner – Big Larry Z
Eric Szulczewski: In troubling times like these, little things must be done to give the populace some ray of hope that things will improve. Getting rid of Raven’s WTF dye job would be one such sign. Do it for the people of Beirut and Haifa, TNA.
Winner – Larry Z
Logan Scisco: Raven’s already had his head shaved clean one and it will not happen again in this match. This is the end of this feud after Zbyszko has battled with Raven for the better part of the year so far.
Winner-Raven
Rhino versus Monty Brown
Matthew Michaels: Rhino seems to be getting a mega-push due to signing his allegiance to TNA, but Brown’s on an undefeated streak. I call shenanigans.
Winner – No Contest
David Brashear: Like MM said – I’d say this match will end in some sort of schmozz. Then we’ve got the rematch next month with a stipulation – Extreme Rules, perhaps?
Winner – Double DQ
Mark Neeley: This is your typical PPV match for Rhino … they have nowhere to book them so they throw him into a random match for the PPV, just like he had previously. See Roode, Bobby. Rhino is on a hot streak due to the ECW heat, but I really don’t see him getting the win here.
Winner – Monty Brown
Eric Szulczewski: The Grievous Bodily Harm Division comes back from the dead! If they let these guys go ten, we have the potential of a minor masterpiece of mayhem. However, given Rhiyno’s current demi-push and TNA’s insistence on giving us weekly episodes of The Jobber Of The Serengeti, I don’t have much hope for that.
Winner – Rhiyno
Logan Scisco: Regardless of what some people are saying on the Internet after the Thursday Impact show, I really enjoyed Rhyno’s promo against WWECW. Considering his reaction with the crowd and how TNA management is hesitant to get behind Monty Brown I say Rhyno wins this one but wouldn’t be surprised if we get a no contest after both Rhyno and Brown gore/pounce each other at the same time.
Winner-Rhyno
Danny Wallace: Will Rhino stop Monty’s quest for another long undefeated run? Or will Brown claim the last “proper” ECW World Champion as another notch on the streak? Personally I’d go with Monty winning by cheating. Then Rhino could get angry, and a feud can emerge. Danny Wallace – always ‘Looking Ahead’.
Winner – Monty Brown
Kevin Nash and Alex Shelley versus Jay Lethal and Chris Sabin
David Brashear: As much as I’d love to see Kevin Nash go far, far away I don’t think that this feud’s run its course. I’m still waiting for the Kevin Nash vs. the entire X-Division match that I’m sure is on the horizon. Sorry, Lethal. Looks like you get to lose to Nash this month.
Winners – Nash and Shelley
Mark Neeley: Logic would say since Nash defeated Sabin last month that they would give the X guys the win here, but I don’t see it. Devine is on the PPPapppperatzi Productions crew now, so expect a bunch of interference for the heels.
Winners – Movie Star Shredder & Alex Shelley
Eric Szulczewski: And it’s time for another episode of You My Bitch Now, X Division. I’m just so split. I mean, I’m an End Justifies The Means kind of guy, and the End in this case that’s good is Alex Shelley’s push. But using Kevin Nash to give him one? Oh, God…it’s tough to decide whether it’s worth it.
Winners – Nash and his little bitch
Logan Scisco: I’m not a big fan of this whole “Nash vs. X-Division” storyline but with what we’ve seen from Mash and Shelley lately it would hurt their image to lose this match to Lethal & Sabin. I see Shelley pinning Lethal after some shenanigans.
Winners-Kevin Nash & Alex Shelley
Danny Wallace: I absolut-vodkaly love Alex Shelley right now. To me, he’s the next Chris Jericho. He’s cocky, he’s got charisma, he’s a good wrestler, he’s got weird hair.. the comparisons go on and on. Given a couple more years in TNA and a few pushes here and there and WWE might come-a-calling. As for the “Nash H8’s X Divison” angle.. well… I’ll go with this. Shelley whacks Nash by mistake with the camera which leads to Nash getting pinned. After seeing what he’s done, Shelley legs it and leaves Nash out cold in the middle of the ring. This sets the Shelley face turn up down the road and it gives the X Division guys their win back.
Winner – Jay Lethal & Chris Sabin
Matthew Michaels: Nash isn’t jobbing to an X wrestler… yet.
Winners – The Silver Fox and Baby Bear
LAX versus Ron Killings and Sonjay Dutt
Mark Neeley: Seems like Killings is at a lost point, a former two-time NWA Champion, got a third shot last month but didn’t cash in, and now he’s stuck in this match. Don’t care whatsoever about the whole LAX thing, so, well, I just don’t care. Let’s say LAX wins.
Winners – Latinos
Eric Szulczewski: What a beautiful ad for ethnic diversity. Benetton would have killed for this during its United Colors campaign. Too bad that this is more like a bad joke: “A Mexican, a Puerto Rican, a black guy, and a Hindu walk into a bar…”
Winners – Sheremetyevo
Logan Scisco: I really like Killings and Dutt but don’t see what purpose it serves for them to go over a team like LAX.
Winners-LAX
Danny Wallace: I don’t really keep up with TNA all the much because it’s shown on a few weeks delay over here in the U.K. Which leads me to the question of why is this match taking place? Are Killings and Dutt a team now or something? Or are they the usual TNA team of two guys thrown together to get them on the card? Meh… anyway, because I’m too lazy to go read the spoilers for Impact, I’ll hazard a guess at LAX getting the win.
Winner – LAX
Matthew Michaels: It’s not time for LAX to get a win yet. I feel this one will lead to lots of dissention and the end of LAX eventually. Killings and Homicide teaming up? Hmm…
Winner – RK & SD
David Brashear: I can’t go with my original thoughts, because Eric S. already used the joke I was planning to. I also can’t see my ideal ending to this match (which would involve Konnan winding up under an 18 wheeler that crashed into the Impact Zone). I’m sure LAX is going to win, but at least keep it short.
Winners – LAX
X Division Title Match
Senshi versus an unnamed opponent
Eric Szulczewski: Irrelevant who he faces (Petey, maybe?), he retains.
Winner – Low Ki (f*ck this Senshi shit)
Logan Scisco: Regardless of who Low Ki (or Senshi) is facing in this match he’ll be winning since he just recently won the strap.
Winner-Low Ki
Danny Wallace: An Unnamed Opponent. Top name for a wrestler that. If I ever bother to learn to wrestle, that’ll be my name. I can just hear it now… “… and now, coming down the asile, weighing in at some-hundred pounds, from nowhere in particular… An Unnamed Opponent!”
Scary.
I’ll guess the opponent is either… Jeff Hardy, Syxx-Pac or Austin Starr.
Winner – Senshi
Matthew Michaels: Uh… hopefully it’s Zach Gowen or something. Unless they’re already gonna bring Aries back in…
Winner – Low Ki
David Brashear: Let’s face it – Senshi’s going to beat whoever he faces. My picks for the opponent? I don’t think they’ll job Aries (Starr) out in his debut. I’d think if they could get Waltman, he’d be mixed up with the James Gang, and I don’t know that they’ve forgiven Jeff Hardy for his weirdness yet. I’d say it would be Shark Boy if he wasn’t already on the pre-show. I’ll go with the guy out of left field, and say it’s Eric Young, in his continuing quest to not get fired.
Mark Neeley: My first reaction was that Jay Lethal would cash in his “title shot of his choosing” against Senshi here for the X title. The thing that threw that theory off was that he is in that other tag match, but I’ll still stick with it. If not, he’ll face Petey or Young or something. Either way, Senshi retains.
Winner – Senshi
Johnny Devine vs. Shark Boy:
Logan Scisco: Shark Boy is nothing but a jobber so this one isn’t even in doubt.
Winner-Johnny Devine
Matthew Michaels: Papparazzi Productions is getting a push, so I’m gonna have to go with JD here.
Winner – Johnny Devine
David Brashear: No way Devine loses here.
Winner – Johnny Devine
Mark Neeley: Devine wins here. Probably a good match too.
Winner – Johnny Devine
