D2 Review: Rock Star Supernova

Now that the pop icon wannabes of American Idol have faded off our television screens, it’s time to bring out the rockers. Which incidentally, I’m still in shock that Idol’s rocker Chris Daughtry didn’t make the cut for last season’s Rock Star: INXS. But I digress.
At least it’s not yet another Simon Cowell production.
This is Rock Star: Supernova, a Mark Burnett Production.
Deep vibes, smoky bar, tattooed rock stars with incense and candles burning and their drinks: straight up. The veteran rockers stare down at a stage that holds hopeful artists looking for the gig of a lifetime.

The second installment of Rock Star offers a more fresh appeal, a clean slate. It’s less pre-determined than the outcome of last season’s INXS replacement for Michael Hutchence. The band was already an established group with a fan base, a sound and an image. I, like many other INXS fans, couldn’t imagine a girl as the new lead singer, or even someone without the sex appeal of a Michael Hutchence. Here with Supernova, you’ve got a new band with old rock souls…Ok, old might be harsh…legendary rock souls merging together to form a brand new band, without a pre-existing sound. The only thing that’s pre-existing is the fact that these guys are kick-ass rockers.

Rock Star is headed up by idea man, Tommy Lee, of Motley Crue fame. And then there’s the whole Pam Anderson fame… the wedding in a white bikini (her, not him) and the tattooed ring finger and the original sex tape. And he had a short lived reality show “Tommy Lee goes back to School”. Which must’ve been some sort of practice run… loosening up those reality tv chops, huh, Tommy? Now, Tommy undoubtedly will go down in history as one of the greatest rock and roll hair band drummers of all time. Ok, maybe most attention grabbing. Which says a lot when that title goes to the drummer. Lee is tabloid fodder and will surely bring an audience to this season’s show.

Next we have Jason Newsted, former guitarist of Metallica, one of the greatest live rock and roll bands of all time. Man can they rock. And can Jason bring it on. I love me some Jason Newsted.

And finally, there’s Gilby Clarke, guitarist from a little band called G’N R!!! He’s rough and tough and is really here to revive his career.

You got 3 great musicians from 3 of the most famous and greatest rock and roll bands of all time. How can you go wrong in the ratings?

Dave Navarro is back as host and judge. Tattoos, kohl eyeliner, beverage.

And last and certainly least is the world’s worst host, Brooke Burke. Her monotone, unenthused and forced delivery of lines will certainly put her on the map for an SNL skit somewhere. Granted, she’s beautiful and the wardrobe department certainly doesn’t have a difficult time making her look great, but it just doesn’t work. She is so unbelievable as an announcer and as an avid rock fan. She can’t possibly know what the hell she’s talking about. She has a very scripted way of reading the cue cards which are filled with more puns than an Airplane movie. I just want Tommy Lee to tell her to shut up. But he won’t do that. Then again, he might. Can’t we bring in Tawny Kitaen to slap the shit out of her? If she can beat up her baseball husband, Brooke’s a piece of cake.

And we aren’t tuning in to Rock Star… we turned our television sets on to a Rocky Start… Talk about puns! Thank you very much. I guess I was inspired. But the votes and the ratings clearly didn’t show this season as any contender in the pool of reality tv shows. There are only a few stand-out contestants. Lucas, the bubble-headed, cartoon character who screamed his version of Billy Idol’s “Rebel Yell” one week and followed it up by the Coldplay lullabye, “Don’t Panic”. Dilana brings a certain unique angry edge to her performances of Nirvana’s “Smell’s Like Teen Spirit” and the Johnny Cash staple “Ring of Fire”. And then there’s Toby… aaahhh Toby, we have to have one of you up on stage, right? The one that the ladies love: Toby. He doesn’t have the angry edge, nor the geek who had to ink his self defense mechanism all over his body in order to defend himself through junior high. He’s just a cool, Aussie rocker. And the guys from Supernova have taken note, along with the voters of the world.

I still can’t believe that Zayara not only made it onto the show, but hasn’t been booted. She’s clearly going to be in the bottom 3 week after week until finally the guys realize they won’t sell an album with this chick fronting them. But we’ve said goodbye to Matt who sang Duran Duran’s “Planet Earth” to the rock judges 80’s pop disgust. And this past week, though Chris sang a good version of Tonic’s “If You Could Only See”, it wasn’t what they guys wanted and they bid the eager apprentice adieu.

Once word gets out, it’ll pick up in the ratings. It just got off to a slow start. I just need it to beat out “America’s Got Talent” and I’ll be fine.

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