The RAW Events
— Development issues: Okay, so after Saturday Night’s Main Event we got a whole bunch of stuff going on. First, we got DX looking completely invincible at this point with the squash over SS. Orton challenging Hogan at SummerSlam; more than likely to get the exclusive “rights” over his daughter. And finally Edge losing to Cena, but maintaining the title. Ahh, RAW and Summer, how… enjoyable. Meanwhile, the dreaded countdown to August (aka, the worst month EVER) begins!
San Antonio, Tx.
Hosts: JR & The King
The MAIN Events
– #1 IC contenders match: Carlito vs. Shelton Benjamin
Shelton gets things going first, working on the left arm of Carlito. We get a few pinning combos that gives Carlito a slight edge, but falls prey to a superkick for two! Headlock slows the match down some but Carlito reverses to only fall to into a pancake flop. And another headlock.
Carlito finally gets some extended offense in, hitting a few knees and springboard back elbow for two! Shelton reverses the back breaker and gets a roll up that only gets a two without any success of grabbing the ropes, while Carlito reverses and uses the ropes himself for the win.
Winner: Carlito ()
– Special Referee: Candace Michelle- Torrie Wilson & Trish Stratus vs. Mickey James & Victoria
Basic T&A matchup with Trish vs. the other two for the majority of the match.
Winner: Torrie Wilson & Trish Stratus ()
– The Highlanders vs. Jobbers
Don’t know who they are, really don’t care. No entrance theory is in effect here, so total squash. Scotdrop wins the mach.
Winner: The Highlanders ()
– John Cena vs. Umaga
Cena slugs away quickly and stays on top of Umaga. But Umaga fires back by throwing Cena through Matt Striker’s blackboard. A ref finally comes out and we officially start the match with Umaga now in control.
Cena fights back and tries to get the STFU, but Umaga reaches for the ropes first. Umaga back in control as Edge and Lita walk out to oversee the match. Cena gets tied up in the corner and Umaga fires a flying headbutt right into Cena. Umaga misses the rush as Cena suddenly gets up to fight Edge on the outside. As you can probably guess, that was a bad move as Umaga chases him out to keep the pressure on Cena. But Umaga misses the big splash from the top rope and Cena gets his clotheslines in and shoulder block in his second wind. Five knuckle shuffle connects as the FU is called up. AAE distracts the ref as Edge runs in. Cena sets Edge up in the FU, but is stopped as Umaga gets the Samoan spike in for the win. Wow, I didn’t see that one coming.
Winner: Umaga ()
– Randy Orton vs. Eugene
Oh jeeze, I suddenly got depressed when I heard Eugene’s music. Poor Randy. Small Hogan chant starts up. Eugene pulls on Orton and Randy takes offense as he then buries Eugene. RKO and that’s all she wrote.
Orton tells Eugene never to take advantage of the McMahons after the match. Like he would never take advantage of Brook Hogan as her latest song is one of his favorites. Orton shows a replay of SNME of when he RKO’d Hulk Hogan.
Winner: Randy Orton ()
– Shawn Michaels w/ HHH vs. Shane McMahon w/ Vince McMahon
“Are you ready? Then for the thousands in attendance, for the millions watching at home, and because Shane McMahon is about the get the crap kicked out of him… Let’s get ready to SUCK IT!!!!!” “And if you’re not down for that we got two words for ya…” You know the rest. We miss the entire opening segment thanks to commercials. Shane was in control for a while until HBK quickly gets back the momentum.
Vince gets in the way however that puts Shane back in the driver seat, even popping up ala HBK. Top rope elbow drop connects, but no cover as Shane tunes up the band. Superkick blocked and HBK follows with a right hand. Flying forearm and inverted atomic drop hits for HBK. Shawn’s hits his own elbow and the real band starts to tine up.
Vince holds down HBK’s foot for a while until HHH runs him off. SS sneak attack destroys Shawn and HHH from making the save. HHH however gets the equalizer and beats down SS as HBK gets back up and finishes it off with the ssstteeeeelll chair. Vince and Shane run out before they get hit their own. DX finishes on top once again.
Winner: No contest ()
Quick HEAT
— We start the show off with a recap of DX’s pranks over the past few weeks. And out comes DX to the ring. With some shameless self promotion to boot. Vince and Shane come out as we’re gonna get Shane-O-Mac with Vince vs. HBK with HHH in the corner.
— Foley drops the cheap pop and goes off on Flair once more on not giving a rematch to Flair.
— HOT Maria is backstage with Hass and Viscera as apparently Garcia is out tonight, and they won’t explain their actions from last week.
— Some DIVA crap goes on as the ugliest one from the group apparently won immunity.
— Matt Striker is out over mathematics and the whole Edge > Cena. Crowd really not into the whole class session thing. But his student tonight will be John Cena. Cena complains about Saturday night and cue Umaga’s music.
— Highlanders are in Vince’s office after their encounter with DX. Highlanders do as they are told with the eating of Vince’s food as he comes in. They yell in his ear for a bit before getting thrown out, but not before leaving with giving a little spank on Vince.
— ECW Re… err… Extremist… err… pin cushion… err… WWE RAW Superstar Ric Flair makes his way out. He tells us how he got his ass kicked last week on ECW. I hate that stupid black and white version when they are bleeding, doesn’t make sense. Flair still wants a rematch against Foley, but Nitro and Melina come down to get the beatdown.
— More DIVA search crap… and the loser tonight is: Amy. Stupid girl group hug ensues. *cough*lame*cough*
— Vince talks to Shane backstage: Vince has a Van Gough in the background “Starry Nights”. Vince has a sign on his back that Shane catches “I love cocks” while Shane unknowingly has one on his back too that says “Me too”.
RAW Analysis
— Well kind of disappointing that Edge, you know the WWE champ, doesn’t get any mic time what so ever. And even though we still have lots of time before SummerSlam, we get very little story advancements as well. Decent RAW, but nothing special if you missed it. Plus, wow is the DIVA search really dragging the show down. At least last year was semi- viewable, this time it’s just…. Anyway, till the next EVENT, I’m out, peace.
