In Memoriam: Bob Orton Sr. – Hell, that is some CRAZY demon spawn. Rest in piece buddy. Sorry you never got to meet your grand daughter in law.
So I figured that I’d write a column two weeks in a row and lo and behold, Eric needs to go to Ohio. So I get to demolish his column like only I can. But before getting to rants about nothing in particular, a response…
So, Botter posted a list of “10 Wrestlers Nobody Really Cares About”, and then Hevia followed it up reasons why. Well, I have no problems with most of the entries on that list (including number one – Sting hasn’t been over since Hogan killed his heat completely at Starcade with “the fast count that wasn’t”). But I do with number three (posted here with Hevia’s comment):
3. Matt Hardy – Blew the angle he created.
Wow – where to start. First off, it seems obvious that neither of you have seen Matt Hardy live recently. I have (a couple of months ago at a Supershow in Washington, DC), and believe me – the crowd goes NUTS for this guy. For further proof, please watch the battle royal on Smackdown from Friday. If you can sit through that entire match, and still insist that you don’t hear even one face pop for Hardy — then you are truly delusional.
And as for Hevia’s comment – umm, what? He “created” the angle that involved his long-time girlfriend f*cking his (married) supposedly good friend? Really? You think that was his idea? And how exactly did he “blow” it? He and Edge traded victories back and forth at the major PPVs, they gave us one hell of a stiff match (so much that people were asking it was “real”), and then eventually it ran its course.
The simple fact is – he’s working steadily, getting paid well, and is higher up the card than he’s been in his entire career. And, ironically, he has Edge and Lita to thank for it.
Oh Steve…you silly little munchkin…
– It doesn’t matter that people pop like crazy for Matt Hardy. Has he done anything lately involving a title? Is he even in the midcard? If there was still a Velocity, would he be main eventing? No…no…and yes! Sorry, but the last I heard Matt wasn’t doing a whole ton of anything.
– Matt Hardy did indeed create the angle. Did Edge nail Lita? Yup! But none of us needed to know about it. How did we find out about it? MATT! He let everyone know about it, got fired for it, bitched about it, started a revolution, got rehired, jobbed for most of the feud and got shipped to Smackdown while Edge rode momentum that he gained and became a main eventer. Matt created that angle by opening his mouth.
– If you think that Matt is higher on the card now then he has been in his entire career, you’re insane. He was higher up the card with his brother; he was higher up the card during V1. Does he work steadily? Sure! Get paid well? Of course! High up? No friggin’ way! His card spot isn’t determined by how the fans pop. He’s working the curtain, getting paid well for it and that’s that. After the shit he put Vince through, he ain’t gonna get much higher. On the plus side, at least he didn’t go to TNA…
Rhino Part Deux
Oh you rebel you! Burn that bag! Death to ECW! You created it with your BLOOD! YOUR SWEAT! YOUR TEARS! And you know you made a huge mistake by staying with TNA so you’re gonna let everyone know that you can kill ECW with one GORE GORE GORE!
Now I watched the whole thing on YouTube because hell if I’m going to give TNA another chance. Everyone who is saying that Rhino’s emotion is high and these are great promos probably hop on that bus with Eugene in the morning and play plinko on the way to wrestling school. Rhino sounds like a boy hitting puberty that didn’t get his way with his girlfriend. So survey says:
RHINO ASKED FOR MORE CASH!
That’s right. I’m willing to bet that Vince/Johnny Ace offered Rhino a similar deal to his TNA one to come to ECW. Rhino asked for more and they were like “What bitch?” and he walked after letting them know that ECW’s “Unified” Champion was going to be TNA forever! They laughed, he cried and now we get this.
As a side note, Chris Jericho was a unified champion. Rhino you dear fool: Holding ECW’s World Title and TV Title doesn’t mean you’ve unified anything.
Bitch. (That’s just for the one person on the DeathValleyDiver boards who complained that I call (or internet journalists call) people a bitch from behind my keyboard. Funny fact: I won’t buy a ticket just to tell them to their face. Comp me and we have a deal.)
One Step Closer To The Edge
Brock Lesnar…oh boy did I miss you! All the news and then NOTHING! By the next big linebacker/Japanese star/UFC champion/Mero divorcee/jackass is back in the news! Why? Because he quit IWGP, forfeited the title and basically ended his career in Japan. Smart move. Hey, I head the Vikings were hiring.
So how long before we see Brock back in the WWE? Do they hate each other too much…wait sorry…tangent…
Bill Goldberg: SHUT THE F*** UP. I’m so sick and tired of this dumbass, hates the business that made him anything piece of dirt running his mouth about how WWE is not a good company and whatever. Guess what: STILL IN BUSINESS. Then he says he’d only take a TNA deal if they were going right for Vince McMahon. What are you, f***ing retarded? Like your name means ANYTHING in this business anymore? Like people give a damn about you? Oh, the 7 toed glass eyed orphans that I visit want me back! Blow me, reject.
At least Sting found Jesus and a few people that remember WCW give a damn about him. Goldberg means nothing.
Back to Brock: I’ve got odds on him being at Wrestlemania next year.
If you haven’t checked him out, enjoy the new dude’s work. A little break from the norm.
And speaking of not normal, GRUT is always a good decision.
Raw is in the books and I’ve got the quick rundown with my thoughts.
Triple C def. Shelton Benjamin – I enjoy Carlito. The sad thing is that I think that it’ll take Shelton Benjamin at least 3 or 4 more crazy insane spots during the money in the bank match to fully get over. Once a year kid…prep now!
Trish Stratus and Torrie Kidman def. My Goddess and Her Baby Doppelganger: God I miss Victoria. Too bad she’s the jobber now.
The Highlanders def. Widro and Pk: Great tryout match guys!
Umaga def. Cena: Eh, whatever. I really couldn’t get into this because I saw the video of them hanging out and beating up rookies. SEE! BRING BACK KAYFABE!
Randy Orton def. Eugene: Surprisingly, Eugene has a better voice than Brooke Hogan…true story.
HBK def. Shane McMahon via DQ: It’s really time to inject someone new in this feud. Maybe have Vince hire ECW guys to take out DX because they’re poor and he has money and won’t bounce checks and they’re EXXXXXXXTREME!
Outside of those matches we had the Diva Search, which I refuse to even get into and Mick Foley basically telling Flair that he can’t fight him again and that leading to Melina and Nitro coming out to defend Foley’s honor. Blah.
Really a jam-packed show that did nothing for me.
Ok kids, go to bed…or your boss’s office and make sweet, career-advancing love. Adios!