No opening credits, as Brooke Burke introduces the “band” and Dave Navarro, and we get clips of the singers choosing their songs. Toby wants to draw lots for songs, Josh simply takes a song, and Patrice and Jill fight over Helter Skelter. Tommy, of course, likes a good catfight.
But enough of that, we’re starting the night with Patrice Pike and The Beatles’ “Helter Skelter”. She rocks the hell out of it and both the “band” and the audience are getting into her performance. It’s a great start to the show.
Tommy thinks it sounded killer. Dave thought it was a little cute, but he still loved it. Jason gives her props.
Before we get to the next performer, Brooke gives some props to the House Band. By the way, guitarist Rafael Moreira is possibly the biggest “unknown” talent on this show.
And now it’s time for Josh Lucas with the “Unplugged” version of Nirvana’s “Come As You Are”. It’s a pretty faithful rendition of the song, Josh even adding some of that tortured sound that was distinctively Kurt Cobain. Still, why go for an acoustic version of a song when you know the band is looking for a singer who rocks?
Dave thinks it was terrific, but he wants to sing something heavy. Gilby wants to see him bring something that represents the band. Dave tells him to channel that intensity that he used to fight for the song in his singing.
With 13 singers in one hour, we’re going quick, and singing The Cars’ “Just What I Needed” is Storm Large. She is apparently trying to tone down the theatrics, but part and parcel of Storm is her expressive eyes, and she uses them to full effect here, using them to entrance the audience. She also uses a heavier sound than the song originally had, and that should endear her to the “band”.
Tommy’s speechless. Dave thinks Storm tore it up. Jason thinks she’s very professional. Tommy’s determined that he’d just like to see “more” of the 5’11” Storm, and next time, maybe a little less clothing? Storm has 6 letters for him – G O O G L E, which no doubt overloaded the search engines with “Storm Large” queries.
Three more singers after the
We’re back, and Canadian Lucas Rossi is singing “Let’s Spend the Night Together” by The Rolling Stones. Despite being hesitant about singing this, Lucas really rocks it out, adding some of his style to the Stones’ flair. The “band” is, of course, really into it.
Dave thinks that Lucas comes off kinda arrogant – but it’s awesome, because you gotta be. Tommy thinks that they’re in a bar, and he’s pulling up a barstool. Because Lucas is the bartender? Gilby thinks that that’s exactly how the “band” would cover a Stones tune.
Now it’s time for this year’s short blond chick with giant boobs, Jill Gioia, and her choice (after Helter Skelter) was Free’s “All Right Now”. In contrast to Deanna Johnston though, Jill’s face looks like she’s either been to one too many tanning salons… or that she’s been in porn. There’s nothing wrong with her voice though – she’s got a similarly powerful voice and brings a lot of energy (and an abs-revealing top) to her performance. Jason apparently also appreciates her kicking down the mic stand.
Dave thinks it was much better this week. Tommy is definitely all right now. Gilby thinks she oversang it a bit.
Now it’s time for the Kanyon look-alike with the American Idol name, Ryan Star. He’s singing “Fortunate Son” by Credence Clearwater Revival. He’s got the right tone and voice for the song, but he spends most of the song rooted to one place. The band looks rather… unenthused.
Tommy wants to know if he had duct tape on his shoes. Gilby thinks he looked uncomfortable, and wants to know if he’s having fun. Ryan notes that most people haven’t seen him smile… so he smiles for the camera. Yikes.
We’ve got more singers coming up after the
We’re back, and Phil Ritchie is set to perform Jefferson Airplane’s “White Rabbit”, but wait! Jason figures he’s been messing with Phil over the past two weeks and he wants to do it from closer up – by playing bass with him. Phil does a great job, playing along with Jason right beside him. I can’t say that it was a perfect performance, but it was the right way to get some props from the “band”.
Jason goes back to the “band” area and acts like a crazed muppet. Dave is glad that Phil has shown some intensity. Tommy liked seeing him crank it up. Jason had fun.
Next up with Bon Jovi’s “It’s My Life” is Dana Andrews. Dana’s got an awesome voice, but I’m still thinking that it’s entirely unsuited for the “band”. She should be doing Michelle Etheridge/Sheryl Crow-type songs instead – she’s kill doing that.
Tommy thinks that she’s hot but thinks that he was watching a Celine Dion extravaganza. He wants her to bring it harder. Gilby doesn’t see it, so Dana says “I’ll show you, Gilby Clarke”, and he digs it.
Zayra’s gonna do an R.E.M. song after the
Toby Rand is up now and he’s singing Soul Asylum’s “Runaway Train”. He adds a harder song to the song, but it’s had to make this song really, really interesting, and indeed, we cut to a shot of Dave nearly asleep. Toby’s good enough that he’ll still be here next week, but he’s gonna have to fight harder for the songs that he really wants to sing.
Dave thinks that Toby need to show some more stage presence. Toby notes that he wanted to show some emotion by singing a “ball-AD” and that he’ll rock it next week. Tommy wants Toby to scare him.
It’s an international segment as singing “Plush” by Stone Temple Pilots is Magni. He gives a good performance, but vocally, it was pretty much just a carbon copy of Scott Weiland’s vocals. Still, that’s not something that’s gonna hurt him.
Tommy has one word: “Magni-ficent”. Gilby is having a great time watching him.
And now it’s time for the weird, wacky world of Zayra Alvarez as she sings R.E.M.’s “Everybody Hurts”. And I don’t know how to describe it other than it’s pretty much what you’d expect if Bjork covered the song. Which is a really, really cool way to attack the song, and totally fits Zayra’s persona.
Dave thought that the “band” made a mistake sending Chris home last week over Zayra, but he stands (well, sits) corrected. Gilby also has to eat his words, as he thinks the performance was awesome. Tommy just says that it was “very yummy, very nice”.
Two more rockers after the
We’re back, and up now is Jenny Galt singing “Drive” by Incubus. She’s another one who shouldn’t be here. I could totally see her singing Jewel, Incubus, or trippy tunes in general but here she just seems out of place.
Dave seems to think that her choices are becoming safer. Gilby wants to see Ozzfest, not Lilith Fair.
Up now is the truly scary Dilana singing “Zombie” by The Cranberries. And I don’t know what else to say besides the fact that this was Encore-worthy. Dilana channels her inner Exorcist to give us a seriously kick-ass performance.
Dave thinks that this was the “Oh my God” performance this week. Tommy just says “I wanna”, which… yikes.
That’s it for the performances, and the voting window opens.
Brooke reveals the results of the first few minutes of the vote, and the bottom three (so far) are Jenny, Dana and Ryan. The results show… tomorrow.