WoQW: What If Civil War Happened In the Real World?

Words of Questionable Wisdom: What If Civil War Happened In the Real World?

A Comics Nexus Event!
Paul Sebert

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Good God, did you see on the news? Nitro just blew up the town of Stamford Connecticut and killed the New Warriors.

IRON MAN: This can only mean one thing.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: We have to capture Nitro?

IRON MAN: Not yet…

CAPTAIN AMERICA : We have to find a way to keep rookie super heroes from making the same mistake the New Warriors did?

IRON MAN : No, have to send in a contingent of Super heroes invade Latveria and Capture Doctor Doom!

CAPTAIN AMERICA : But Doom has nothing to do with this.

IRON MAN : Doom has everything to do with this, Doom is a threat to the American way of life.

CAPTAIN AMERICA : But… but… isn’t Nitro the more pressing issue.

IRON MAN: You’re thinking too small… we have to make this a Global War On Super-Villains! Starting with Doctor Doom. Nitro is already on the run and we’ve have to make a stand now in Latveria.

CAPTAIN AMERICA : Tony, you’re not making any sense. Nitro is still running free, we’ve got credible threats on US Soil and you’re talking about taking down the leader of a country! Do you know what that means? Besides Doom’s the only real villain in Latveria.

IRON MAN: That’s my point entirely Steve, taking down Doom will send a message to super-villains worldwide.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: But think of the consequences with Doom out of the picture. We’re talking about uprooting an entire nation. Latveria and the area surrounding that nation will be destabilized! We could throw that whole region of the third world into chaos. And what about the collateral damage involved.

IRON MAN: Yes nation building is going to be an important part of the Global War on Super-Villains. This will provide valuable experience to our youngest heroes. This is about hearts and minds.

CAPTAIN AMERICA : But most of our newer superheroes don’t have the training necessary to engage in training, much less take down a villain like Doom. Wasn’t the New Warrior’s inexperience half the reason why this disaster happened?

IRON MAN : All the more reason why they should be sent out overseas. With careful monitoring of the Global War on Super-Villains in the media, we won’t have an incident like the one in Stamford airing on live television. In fact we had better go out of our way to make sure they don’t’ show any coffins coming back from Latveria just to be safe.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Tony have you been drinking?! Has your mind been warped by the Extremis?

IRON MAN: No… you don’t understand, if we destabilize Latveria our contingent of Superheroes will visible target, and super villains from all over the world will pool into Latveria and the surrounding region.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: You’ve been drinking the Extremis? Haven’t you?

IRON MAN: No… Steve, this is a long-term solution! One that will protect the American Public! This Global War on Super-Villains all about our young heroes fighting the super villains over there, so we don’t have to fight them over here!

CAPTAIN AMERICA : This… this is absolute madness. Scapegoat a well known despot for something he for once had nothing to do? Pulling a third world nation apart and then destabilizing the surrounding region? Putting our young heroes in a situation for which they have no proper preparation for and then trying to hide the cost from the American people? This is the most callous, most cynical, stupidest waste of resources, international goodwill, taxpayer dollars and human life I’ve ever heard of! No rational thinking American would support going through with this.

IRON MAN: You really think so Steve? Well you know what you World War II fossil? I’m telling George ‘W’ my plan… and there’s nothing you can do about it.


NEXT ISSUE: The Global War on Super-villains begins! How will Captain America respond?