TNA: In the Zone for 7/20/06
This week we start things off with clips of Victory Road. Things there went predictably except that they didn’t pull the trigger on Joe’s run at the title. And they didn’t fire Eric Young.
As we go live we find ourselves In The Back with Jeremy Borash. They have done this bit so much that I expect Jeremy Borash to be waiting outside my office at work to find out who it is that I want to fight next. We find out that Jay Lethal is challenging Jarrett for his title tonight.
In the ring, The Franchise is out to introduce the newly Franchised Naturals. Wow, Shane gave them haircuts. The Naturals are out to take on Maverick Matt (stupid name) and the returning (Frankie) Kazarian. Note that Kaz looks like Randy Orton with his hair cut short, though it is good to see him back.
You might think that The Naturals’ recent workout footage was just a gimmick but they do look like they have really upped their game. Both teams really showed up for this one. But of course The Naturals, being in the middle of a push, take this match. They don’t, however, take the match in a dominant enough fashion for The Franchise, which earns The Naturals slaps in the face. You see, he doesn’t want wins. Shane Douglas demands perfection.
By the way, the red phone has yet to ring.
AND Borash is STILL outside Sting’s locker room. I tell ya, if I got up in the morning, was getting dressed, and this schmuck stuck a microphone in my face, I’d stick it…well, you get the point. Eric Young sneaks up on him to get more ideas for his “Don’t Fire Eric” campaign. TNA, in their infinite wisdom, decide to interrupt this entertaining young guy with Jeff Jarrett and Scott Steiner accosting the announce team. This sure has been a yo-yo of a show. Something great, something sucks. Something great, something sucks.
Next, more great news as Eye Spy is back, and Alex Shelley is taking Kevin Nash to school regarding X-Division wrestlers around the world. He shows him footage from Japan, Mexico, and possibly the greatest producer of highflying wrestlers in the world, Madagascar. In Madagascar, they wrestle in a two-sided ring, and sit on the floor because extra sides and chairs are a luxury in that poor country. I really want to see the footage of the Madagascarian wrestlers in their two-sided ring. Damn Alex Kelly for keeping it a “For Nash’s Eyes Only” tape. I thought he was paparazzi, and here he is not sharing.
It seems that Shelley is bringing folks from Madagascar to the iMPACT Zone. SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!
Next up, Rhino versus Robert Adams. The intros here take longer than the actual match, which is fine because this was really only an opportunity to get Samoa Joe to come out and accept Rhino’s Extreme Challenge. This will prove to be a good pairing, and it is happening next week on iMPACT.
Once again, we are In The Back with JB. I am starting to see this guy everywhere I look and frankly, that worries me. Anyway, he is there to interview Brother Runt, but they are interrupted by Team 3D. It seems that Brother Ray and Brother Devon are tired, and need a vacation. They have decided to leave Runt to hold the fort, and maybe even bring Team 3D some X-Division gold.
In the ring, Styles and Daniels are out, and they have a new deal. They have brought with them contracts for title matches with every tag team in TNA. This is a nice approach to the “fighting champion” angle. Konnan doubts their sincerity and wants to see the contract for himself, luring the champs into an LAX beat down. Dragging them to the ring, Homicide hits A.J. with the Vertebreaker (or as he calls it, The Gringo Killer) while Konnan signs the contract in Christopher Daniels’ own blood. Now there is something that TNA should sell on ebay.
JB is BACK In The Back again outside of Sting’s locker room. Of course, we don’t get Sting, no, we get Larry Zbysco in a wig. Funny, yes. A waste of time on a show that is supposed to be a wrestling show, yes. We only have an hour here, and we have spent too many segments following Borash around trying to get an interview that we don’t even need to hear. We know what Sting has to say. We have heard him say it. He wants to take Jeff Jarrett out of TNA. That is like saying I want to take the oil companies out of the automobile industry. Everyone hates the oil companies, but there is no way we can have cars without them. At least until someone comes up with a better option. Would TNA without Jarrett be a better option? You bet your ass, but when you control the checkbook, you control the company.
Next up, the youngster, Jay Lethal takes on Jarrett for the NWA World Heavyweight Title. I kinda saw this one coming last week when Lethal won a match guaranteeing him a “title shot” of his choice. Jeff Jarrett gets in the ring expecting this match to be a total squash, but Lethal runs the old man ragged. Mike Tenay uses words that I was already thinking in reference to Jay Lethal. Full Court Press. Jarrett doesn’t even have time to breathe in this match. As a matter of fact, it takes Scott Steiner and a steel pipe to take down the kid from Elizabeth, NJ. I need to repeat that for the record. Jarrett cannot beat a 20-year-old kid without help from his roided up Frankenstiner.
By the way, I have a new entry in the “Things Don West Should Never Say Again”. “Look at the facial on Jay Lethal.” No Don, bad Don, where is my rolled up newspaper.
Sting waits until after the match to come out. I don’t understand why. He could have taken out Steiner sooner and we would have the youngest NWA champion ever. But no. That didn’t happen.
This week, from his initial promo to his Full Court Press against Jeff Jarrett, Jay Lethal is In The Zone.
About Time, Too.
Later,
Dougie
icarusfallz@yahoo.com
