The RAW Events
— ATTENTION one, attention all: Unfortunately for my thousands upon thousands of fans here at Inside Pulse, this will be my last Raw Events column for an entire month. I know, I know, but before you go on, let me explain. Due to job complications that pop up every year for me during the month of August, things get very hectic for me and pretty much guarantee me no life to do anything but work for the entire month. So if you know me, you pretty much know I HATE August, except for my birthday. Then to top it all off, school starts back up the final week of August. So I will be MIA until my target return date of Labor Day (September 4th).
Hopefully by then, work will have died down a bit and I know I’ll be more than situated and settled back with school to come back to the column. But never fear, when I do return, The Raw Events will be back and be better than ever with RAWy goodness. But until September, I’ll still be doing my HEAT columns (so check them out!) thanks to the weekends, AND also be sure to go over the great RAW recaps we have here on the site with Tom Pandich’s “Tommy P’s RAW Coverage and James Hatton’s “Monday Night Rabble” during the month I’ll be gone if you need your RAW fix.
Enough of that detailed description… on to the show!!!!
Cleveland, OH.
Hosts: JR & The King
The MAIN Events
– The Spirit Squad vs. The Highlanders
Back and forth match, that I didn’t catch much off. Sorry. SS gets the upper hand near the end as Kenny hits a drop kick and slugs away. Mickey goes in for a bit, but falters and tags back Kenny as Rory cleans house. SS interfere in the match as Kenny hits his finisher to get the win. I guess you cant job them too much can you!?
Winner: The Spirit Squad (3)
– Carlito vs. Shelton Benjamin
This is going to be for the #1 contender’s spot for the IC title. Thankfully Lilian Garcia is back on the mic, so it isn’t represented as the Cruiserweight title! Again, another match that I missed a severe amount off as I get the ending part. Carlito tries the roll up cover, but Shelton goes downstairs without grabbing the ref’s attention.
Winner: Shelton Benjamin (2)
– Candice Michelle vs. Mickey James
They actually have Candice try and wrestle in this match, so we get a subpar performance from both ladies and Candice loses by performing a cross body drop from the top rope, and is reversed rolled into the pin.
Winner: Mickey James (5)
– Shawn Michaels vs. Coach
Shawn gets no pyro and doesn’t get his trademark DX saying thanks to Coach as his music pops on and he walks out. HBK gets a black swimmers cap for some odd reason before starting the match and slugs away. More offense and flip up into a atomic drop. Shawn puts in a few more body drops and goes up top for the elbow and connects. The band is now tuning up but SS come out (3 anyway) and HBK still manages to clean house. The rest of SS comes out and HBK stays on top, the band gets tuned up and sweet chin music to Coach. BUT then out of nowhere, Umaga shows up and decimates HBK before the pin.
Winner: DQ- Shawn Michaels (4)
– Nitro w/ Melina & Edge w/ Lita vs. Ric Flair & John Cena
Well I guess the heel team has the girl advantage in this one huh!? But it doesn’t work like that before the break as Cena and Flair get into the ring at the same time and clear out the ring as we go into commercial.
Back in from the break, Edge is in control over Cena as he gets the tag into Nitro who continues to stomp away. Nitro misses a but romp and Cena tags in Flair he gains the momentum. Chops and a back flip work up Nitro as Flair puts in the figure four before getting broken up by Edge. Cena charges Edge, but a sidestep later and Cena is over the top rope. Tag into Edge and SPEAR on Flair for the 1-2… break up by Cena.
Nitro back in and a reverse neck breaker connects on Flair. Melina and Lita double team Flair as he falls onto the outside (lucky him, huh!?) And a tag back to Edge. Nitro takes out Flair again on the outside as Edge picks up the pieces. Edge goes up high, but falls into a Flair chop that changes up the teams.
Cena in and he clears house with his usual offense. Five knuckle shuffle is attempted, but Edge nails Cena with the sssttteeeeell chair from the outside, giving Nitro only a two count! STFU is put into place after the no sell of the chair shot, while Flair holds Edge from running in and gives Cena the tap-out win.
Winner: Ric Flair & John Cena (1)
Quick HEAT
— DX is out tonight, but just half of the team anyway as HBK walks out alone. And lets us know that Stephanie McMahon is giving birth to her child. And by her side is Vince, Shane, and unknown to them, HHH is there as well. And between us and HBK, he thinks HHH knows who the father is… hint-hint.
His speech is interrupted by the Coach who walks out and tells us that he has Vince on speed dial. HBK grabs the phone and starts talking to Vince who is apparently cussing at him and lets him know that Cleveland has two words for him… “Suck it!” Vince calls back Coach and puts him in a match tonight against HBK.
— Ric Flair is out, and we jabber on for a while as Flair goes after Foley still. Edge interrupts and agrees with Foley. This leads up to a sneak attack from Nitro. And an eventual tag match with these two as Cena makes the save.
— Carlito and Trish continue to flirt… and she wants to get married?
— Todd Grisham lets us know that Steph and Hunter’s baby is named Aurora Rose.
— Hulk Hogan makes his RAW return and he comes out to talk about Randy Orton brother. And so out comes Orton who once again talks about Hogan’s lovely and hot daughter Brooke. Hogan, being the protective father that he is, wants to kick Orton’s ass and for some reason or another that I really cant fathom, King throws Orton in the ring as Hulk “hulks” up on him. Randy quickly bails before the big boot as Hogan does his usually pose in the ring. Booo, what, no Brooke this time??
— Maria interviews John Cena backstage, but she can’t word out who his tag partner is. Cena admits that Maria is beautiful and fantasizes about her about things only that comes out in the Penthouse letters. He reviews how Steph is giving birth and so no Vince, Shane, or HHH. Rags on Coach, goes after Nitro and Melina, mentions the Legend Hogan and the legend killer Orton. Burns Umaga and AAE, Carlito’s hair, male cheerleaders and puts the Rated R superstar into a PG-13 category. But tonight, he’s partner will be Ric Flair.
— More crap fest that is the Diva Search: Marise is eliminated.
RAW Analysis
— Weird how everything got turned upside down since Steph gave birth today. So without speaking, this show was in shambles before it even begins. Not that it was horribly bad or anything, but I could have at least have had a bigger and better send off before I disappear into the world that is work for the rest of the month. So-so… if you missed the show, don’t worry, it wasn’t much.
And again, just wanted to remind you… I will be out for the rest of this month and all of August from doing The Raw Events. But I will be back Labor Day (hopefully, if everything pans out ok) better than ever. But if you need my fix, I’ll still be up and running the Sunday Heat Wave every weekend while I’m gone with a counter to my glorious return and updated ware bouts about me. Just make sure you again take a look at the other RAW recaps if you haven’t already while I’m out. So till the next main EVENT, (and wish me luck!) I’m out. Be good kiddos… peace!
