Revolution Action #1


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[i]Why Must Marvel Torment Me?[/i]
Why?

At the San Diego Comic Con this weekend, Marvel announced that they were launching a new “Old School” Avengers title called “Mighty Avengers”. But guess who’s writing it? The Idiot Bendis. The Cancerous Tumor that has utterly ruined Marvel Comics, destroyed TWO franchises and crippled another with a series of shots that have blown the kneecaps off of the X-Men franchise.

(And before anyone says “What about Spidey?” Simple: Bendis’s Spider-Man stories are bland, bloated wankfests at best. He’s only written ONE story in Ultimate Spider-Man that qualifies as being “good” and that was the single-issue story where Peter tells Mary-Jane that he’s Spider-Man. Oh and look at all of the stuff he’s done that he swore on a stack of bibles that he would never do then outright did? Ultimate Venom, Ultimate Carnage, and now Ultimate Clone Saga? Paul Jenkin’s Spider-Man run was better anyway and that was with him writting with his feet since he was handcuffed with political garbage like being unable to use Mary-Jane Watson or explore Aunt May knowing Peter was Spider-Man until six-to-eight months after JMS did it).

Stupid, no-talent cancer spreading fracker. Seriously? Bendis? The same Bendis who doens’t know jack-sh*t about the Avengers and ruined the Scarlet Witch with a story that showed that Bendis hasn’t read ANY Avengers story whatsoever and was literally making up facts and backstory that outright defied all previus continuity? The same Bendis who made a huge ass fuss about defining Hank Pym as simply “the wife-beater” while not even being able to get the details about how many times Hank hit Jan (it was once BTW) and the circumstances (Jan getting hit by a clearly insane, “I’m going to build a deadly robot only I can beat to make the Avengers like me!” spewing tirading Hank Pym)?

Sigh….. Must resist urge to type the f-word a thousand times for the rest of this piece.

(BTW Frank Cho doesn’t win himself any favors in his interview alongside Bendis. He comes off like an obnoxious twat who seems to share Bendis’s self-absorbed narcissistic jerk behavior in terms of disliking fans who don’t like writers who have over-rated opinions on themselves and their piss-poor work).

So I am going to make a stand. Don’t fracking buy the “Mighty Avengers” book and if you are reading “New Avengers”, don’t fracking buy it. I’m serious. Don’t give Marvel the god-damn money people! Don’t buy the TPB or the HC! Byrne-Steal (reading the God-Damn book in the confines of the comic shop without actually buying it) the book if you must! Download it illegally off the internet! Frack, bombard “The Daily Scan” live-journal to scan all future issues online so no one will buy the abomination!

A stand has to be made. Marvel needs to be made apparent that they can’t fracking let Bendis ruin the Avengers franchise. It’s like the Clone Saga but without the pressence of DeMatthies or DeFalco or even Jurgans to give the farce a sliver of hope that it will turn around. With the one-man evil that is Bendis, we don’t have that since he’s refusing to step down from the stage. He’s breaking the wooden hooks trying to yank him off-stage and is now shooting audience members who are booing him and calling for the director to get rid of him and bring out the under-study to play Bendis’s part.

[i]Baker Explains It All[/i]
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I took a lot of crap from people when I reviewed an issue of “Villains United” before my hiatus. To be truthful, I liked “Villains United” when the mini-series finished but I do have to say that the rabidness of the Gail Simone fanboys to come to her defense at the slightest bit of criticism annoyed me. Much in the same way Dan Whatshisname’s fanboys swarm to his defense the moment you say a word about not liking his “She-Hulk” run, it seems fanboys can’t seem to let anyone criticize Gail Simone at all.

Which is sad really; because truth be told? I’m for the most part, generally apathetic towards Ms. Simone. Hell, my review wasn’t even mean, at least by the standards associated to me! That said, I will say this though about Ms. Simone: she seems to get artists who I just don’t like to draw the bulk of her books. I couldn’t stand the art on “Agent X” (which I ended up reading when I bought the book from the dollar comic bin at my local comic shop) and the overly fanboy pandering cheesecake art on the bulk of her “Birds of Prey” run didn’t interest me, nor did the crappy as crappy can be Jim Lee designed Huntress costume which was in the early BoP issues Gail wrote (though I can’t blame Gail for that though).

That said, her “Action Comics” run was ok and her “Villains United” was the best of the four “Infinite Crisis” mini-series lead-ins. But other than that, she’s average at best as a writer with the work she’s done so far. I will say she does have something that Dan Whatshisname doesn’t have, which is the ability to go from humor to series and back and forth and to the left and to the side and to the ceiling with the tone of her books. Whatshisname, in all of the books he’s done for Marvel since luck gave the poor bland journeyman a break, keeps writing the same story that gave him his “critical darling” pass with She-Hulk.

Her “Action Comics” run showed that and it’s a crying shame that she wasn’t allowed to stay on the book after “Infinite Crisis”.

[i]Five Seconds of Love[/i]

I like Ed Brubaker’s Uncanny X-Men

I like “52”

I like that Brad Meltzer bashed the Teen JLA (aka Justice League Detroit) and not the Giffen-era JLA

[i]That concludes “Five Seconds of Love”[/i]

That’s that…. Hate mail, nerdbomb emails, and feedback can be sent to JesseBaker411@yahoo.com

See you next week kids!

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