80’s week should be interesting. For most of the contestants, it’s a decade that they were born in, and it’s a period of music that’s experiencing a sort of renaissance in the new century. Obviously, the kids will try and dress the part, but will that impress me? 80’s week on Canadian Idol starts… now.
Opening Credits
Welcome back to the Bassett Theatre in Toronto, ON, and here’s Ben Mulroney. Tonight’s theme is… the Eighties. Now here are the judges: Jake Gold, Sass Jordan, Farley Flex and Zack Werner.
Question/mic check time
Jake – If you’re having fun, that’s all that matters here.
Sass – The greatest thing about the 80’s was that everything was big.
Flex – (on why Cyndi Lauper endures) Great songs and one of the most memorable voices in music.
Zack – It takes a lot more than just being a pretty face (to succeed in music now).
And here are YOUR Elite Eight. And now let’s take a look at Cyndi Lauper, who by the way has an album out. And just so you know, the vignettes with Cyndi and the Idols consists mainly of Cyndi telling the guys to do butt clenches and thrust their dicks out, and having the girls hit her. Apparently she thought this was the WWE. And Cyndi’s daughter thinks she’s poker player Phil “Unabomber” Laak.
Brandon Jones bats leadoff, and he’s singing Bon Jovi’s “I’ll Be There For You”.
Jake – I gotta tell ya, without a doubt, best performance you’ve ever done on the show.
Sass – I gotta agree with Jake.
Flex – The people that love you, now adore you.
Zack – It’s not so much about singing but looking the part and doing your thing.
I have to agree with Jake – this was Brandon’s best performance ever, although I think much credit has to go to the backup singer who seemed to keep Brandon on key. Unfortunately for Brandon, his performance would end up being fairly forgettable after the third singer. More on that below. 6.5/10
Craig’s singing after the
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It’s time for Craig Sharpe, and he’s singing Bette Midler’s “Wind Beneath My Wings”.
Sass – When you make a record, I think you should seriously consider doing that song because you owned it.
Flex – That was perfect, you really, really nailed it.
Zack – Holy Flock of Hairdos. I think you’ve got that George Michael-y potential.
Jake – (some banter between Jake and Zack) Perfect song for the kind of voice you have. I would like to see you try something out of your element.
Another solid performance from Craig, who has rebounded nicely from that Avril debacle. I again have to agree with Jake in that Craig has to try something different. Yes, he’s got a huge fanbase, but you always want to garner votes from the “floaters” (just in case), and doing the same thing every week isn’t gonna do that. 8/10
A trio of contestants are coming up, but first, an
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Bon Jovi gets another song on Canadian Idol, as Rob James (who is the only one who doesn’t dress all Eighties) sings “You Give Love A Bad Name”.
Flex – Straight up, you were a man on that stage.
Zack – Singing, schminging. Winnipeg don’t take no —-.
Jake – You came out, you took over the stage, you blew the room up.
Sass – I’m floored, that was awesome.
…and this is what I was talking about with respect to Brandon. Rob rocked the house, he enjoyed himself, he gave a Rock Star-style performance within the Idol context, and on a night where there was a lot of hard tunes sung, Rob did it the best. 9/10
And now we get an angry Steffi D, singing “It’s My Life” by Talk Talk.
Zack – I would stand up, but it’s my turn to talk. There’s so little to say, but I feel truly honoured to be here. You can write this down – Steffi D. will be the most famous person ever associated with this show.
Jake – That was so exciting, and you meant it. Hats off to Cyndi for pulling that out of you.
Sass – Noone can argue with that performance.
Flex – Good, good, good work.
Now starring in “80’s: The Musical”, Steffi D!!! I keep saying this, but Steffi should be in musicals. Clearly that’s her true calling, and I can’t disagree that she could become the most famous CanIdol once she wins that Tony or Dora award. But winning Canadian Idol? I don’t see it happening. But still, riveting performance, and hopefully we’ll see Steffi on King Street in a production that doesn’t last only 6 months. 7.5/10
No commerical yet, as Chad Doucette prepares to sing “Never Tear Us Apart” by INXS.
Jake – Great song for you.
Sass – That was one of the most convincing performances you’ve done. Wicked sweet.
Flex – I hear that tone in every performance you do. Good on you.
Zack – Holy Jacob Hoggard Hairdo. It was a pretty icky vocal performance. I dig you, but I didn’t dig that.
Bias alert: INXS is one of my favourite bands ever, and this is my favourite song, ever.
Now that we have that side note out of the way… Chad destroyed my favourite song. I get what he’s trying to do (cheddar it up), but there are times when he goes overboard with it, and I felt that this was one of those times. He needs to go back to that place he was at when he tackled Sloan, as that seemed to be the perfect medium for Chad to sing. And perhaps I’m just being overly harsh (I doubt it), but Chad gets 1/10
Now it’s time for an
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Eva Avila is barefoot, she’s dressed like Madonna, and her song of choice is Billy Idol’s “White Wedding”.
Sass – I’ve never seen you like that before, and I’m enjoying that.
Flex – You’re doing really well.
Zack – If you lived and breathed rock and roll, you could really rock.
Jake – I like the fact that you came out and did something noone’s seen you do, and you meant it.
I was a bit worried in the beginning because Eva sounded a bit tenative, and not really rocking the song. Then she kicked it into another gear, and those worries disappeared. This was pretty much what Jake meant when he said you need to change it up, and I think Eva scored some big points by doing so – and doing it well. 8.5/10
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Now it’s time for Rex Goudie Tyler Lewis to sing, and he’s chosen Whitesnake’s “Here I Go Again On My Own”.
Flex – We’ve definitely got the best top eight we’ve ever had.
Zack – (wears a pink cowboy hat) As a rocker guy, not so much. As a new country superstar, yeah I could do that.
Jake – Really great rock performance. I really think I need to see something else from you.
Sass – I think you know what you do good, and that’s all that counts.
OK, he looks like Rex, but sings like crap. And both Rob and Eva out-rocked him – it wasn’t even close. I may not know many things, but I do know that when the guy who sang “Love Wins Everytime”, and the cute girl that noone thought could rock out-rock you, you get 6.5/10
Our final performer is singing “Eternal Flame” by The Bangles, and that person is Brigette Neilsen lookalike Ashley Coulter
Zack – Many people have come to play at this party. There’s a very good chance as far as I’m concerned that you are the next Canadian Idol.
Jake – I thought on a night of fantastic performances, you were the best.
Sass – I honestly think that was by far the best performance you’ve done.
Flex – This was phenomenal. Your look, your hook, everything was cookin’ baby.
About that glory note… daaaaaaaaaaaaamn. Very nice power ballad from Ashley, and a classy move to thank the band. I really hope that people are voting for this girl, because along with Rob, she’s come into her own on the show and it’d be a shame to see her (or Rob) go home. Platinum blonde doesn’t work for her, though. 8.5/10
Only one thing left now – the Name Brand Cereal recap and now… it’s time to vote!
