The SmarK DVD Rant for ROH: Better Than Our Best
– Taped from Chicago Ridge, IL, April 1, 2006.
– As a word of explanation, Gabe Sapolsky sent me a crazy huge number of DVDs to review, so I figured I’d just start going through and doing whatever looks good. I already did a review of the Dragon Gate six-man on my blog and wanted a bit of a shorter show to do a full rant on, so here we are.
– Jack Evans v. Jake Crist v. David Crist v. Matt Sydal v. Ace Steel v. Jimmy Jacobs.
Ace Steel is a fabulous wrestling name and I’m shocked no one used it before now. Evans and Sydal start out and do some matwork for a stalemate sequence. Next up, Jimmy Jacobs goes with Jake Crist and gets the Trish Stratus swinging headscissors into a neckbreaker for two. The Crists do a quick double-team, but Steel hits them both with lariats and powerbombs David Crist. Crist comes back with a couple of those overblown armdrags all the indy guys do, and Evans comes in with a spinning legdrop for two. Jacobs gets an STO on Evans for two, and soon everyone is on the top, and everyone gets brought down into a chicken fight. That’s a spot you don’t see every day.
We’re left with Evans and Steel, and Evans moonsaults off Steel’s shoulders, onto the other four guys on the floor. Irish Airbourne double-team Sydal in the ring, as Dave gets a springboard dropkick for two. They fight on the top, but Sydal gets brought down and counters in mid-air to land in an inverted DDT on Dave. Sydal follows with a moonsault onto the group on the floor, and we’re back in the ring with Jake Crist and Ace Steel. Steel gets a sloppy tiger bomb and goes up, but gets caught by Jacobs, who comes down with a senton bomb on Crist for two. Evans takes him out with a springboard 450 splash onto the floor, and meanwhile Steel is just hanging out on the top rope. Sydal and David Crist try to bring him down, so he counters with a double-stunner on both of them from the top. Evans, meanwhile, uses the chaos to hit a 630 splash on Crist for the pin.
(Jack Evans d. Crist/Crist/Sydal/Steel/Jacobs, 630 splash — pin, ***1/4) Good spotfest, but there was more than a few of them that seemed too forced or miss the first time and needed correction.
– Jim Cornette comes out to complain about CZW interference, but Colt Cabana wants a Chicago Street Fight with Homicide, with it being Chicago and all. That’s a handy coincidence. Cornette admires guts even more than brains, so he makes the match. Next up, he calls out Delirious, a masked wrestler doing what seems like an Ultimate Warrior character. Since he’s been on a losing streak in tag matches, Cornette tells him to step up and challenge someone in a singles match, and if he can’t win, he’s out of ROH. After some hilarious gibberish, he goes with Ricky Reyes. He acts like Warrior and cuts promos like Nikita Koloff, how can he lose?
– Ricky Reyes v. Delirious.
Delirious attacks to start and takes it to the floor for some brawling, and he won’t let Reyes up once they get into the ring. Reyes finally gets some offense with a neckbreaker into the dragon sleeper, but Delirious makes the ropes. Reyes gets a backdrop suplex for two and pounds away. Delirious counters a suplex into a rollup for two, but Reyes clobbers him down again. Whip to the corner and a kick to the back follow, but Delirious reverses out of an inverted DDT attempt and goes up. A flying splash to the back sets up a Cradle Shock for two. A lariat attempt is blocked by Reyes and he follows with a pair of neckbreakers into a fisherman’s buster for two. Reyes stops to argue with the ref, and Delirious reverses a dragon sleeper into a bridged cobra clutch on the mat, and Reyes taps.
(Delirious d. Ricky Reyes, cobra clutch — submission, **) Delirious is over huge with the crowd and has a great look and character, but didn’t really show much in the ring. Still, he could be huge given his ring presence and weird charisma.
Alex Shelley, Jimmy Rave & Masato Yoshina v. Dragon Kid, Genki Horiguchi & Ryo Saito.
This match has a lot to live up to after the 3/31 show. Shelley starts with Saito and they trade stuff on the mat. Shelley grabs a wristlock and they trade leglocks, and both guys try an armdrag at the same time in a neat, subtle spot. Saito hiptosses out and Shelley runs to his corner for some hugs, and it’s Dragon Kid against Yoshina. Kid armdrags him down and gets a flying headscissors to put Yoshina on the floor, and the heels regroup. Rave comes in against Genki, and quickly gets dropkicked out of the ring to set up another conference. Yoshina tries sneaking in, but gets clobbered down by Genki and the faces work him over in the corner. Kid with a nice high kneedrop for two. Genki & Saito double-team Yoshina with a double-elbow and a crazy criss-cross sequence where they hit the poor guy with something new on every pass by him. Shelley tries to take over on Saito, but it’s back to the Do Fixer corner and Dragon Kid hammers on him with chops in the corner. Shelley bows up on him, so Kid dropkicks him down again and brings in Saito, who uses Kid as a weapon on Shelley, setting up a Do Fixer triple-dropkick. Oh, I’m LOVING this.
Genki gets stuck in the heel corner, as Rave stomps him down for two and Yoshina gets a low dropkick. He follows with a Tarantula-type move on the ropes while Shelley & Rave distract the ref, and Shelley comes in with a quebrada for two. Nice heel double-teaming with a Yoshina dropkick into a Shelley neckbreaker, and Rave gets two. Funny spot as Shelley slams the tiny Genki and then poses like he’s Hulk Hogan or something, before hitting the chinlock. Inverted atomic drop, but Genki comes back with a jumping elbow, and it’s hot tag Saito.
Belly to belly suplex by Saito, and Kid gets the awesome tilt-a-whirl headscissors, leaving Genki & Saito to double-team Shelley with a pair of running elbows into the corner and a bulldog for two. Shelley misses an enzuigiri on Saito, who comes back with the rolling fisherman’s suplexes, but Shelley blocks the third one and gets a brainbuster for two. Great sequence. Kid spikes him with a rana, but Rave breaks up the pin, so Kid gets a jawbreaker, but Rave comes back with a gutbuster and a DDT for two. Shelley fights off Do Fixer in sequence with kicks, but Saito splashes Yoshina for two as I have trouble keeping up. Kid moonsaults Yoshina for two. The heels double-team Saito with a double-spear, and Rave gets the shining wizard for two. Saito sideslams Yoshina and they reverse on a waistlock, but Prince Nana trips up Saito. He comes back with a german suplex for two, and Kid follows with the springboard rana for two. Kid goes up and gets crotched and Yoshina gets a neckbreaker on him for two. Genki backslides Shelley for two, but Rave kills him with a clothesline into a Pedigree for the pin.
(The Embassy d. Do Fixer, Jimmy Rave Pedigree — pin Genki Horiguchi, ****1/2) The big finishing sequence was a bit too short and the ending felt like an anti-climax, but this was an awesome mix of American-style tag wrestling and the Dragon Gate stuff, and in a world without the six-man from the night before this would easily have been a Match of the Year contender.
AJ Styles v. Samoa Joe v. Christopher Daniels v. Jimmy Yang
How can this not be awesome? First fall wins, according to the commentary. Daniels starts with Yang and holds onto a wristlock, and the crowd is nuts for everyone in the match. Daniels hiptosses him, but Yang fires back with kicks and they pound each other until it’s a standoff. Joe comes in against Daniels and throws some shots in the corner, shrugging off Daniels’ offense until Daniels dives over to tag AJ while running the ropes. AJ is game for Joe, so they lock up and trade kicks to the leg before AJ goes low and sweeps Joe’s legs. AJ & Daniels do some quick double-teaming on Joe in the corner, and Daniels comes in with a flying headscissors. Yang gets a standing moonsault and superkicks Joe in the corner, opting for some choking. Hey, whatever works for ya. Styles gets a kneedrop for two. Joe throws some vicious knees, but runs into a dropkick and Styles gets two. AJ tries his springboard dropkick, but Joe somehow defies physics and catches him in mid-air with a high kick.
He finally tags out, bringing Yang in to work on Styles with chops, but AJ rolls him up for two. Yang fights back with a leaping sidekick, and a whip to the turnbuckles gets two. AJ slugs back in the corner, but eats a back kick from Yang, and a suplex gets two. Joe comes back in and absolutely brutalizes Styles with kicks, and follows with the running knee in the corner to set up the facewash. Nice touch as he knocks Daniels off the apron on the rebound. Back to Yang, as he takes AJ down with a jumping kick to the back of the neck and tags Daniels in. AJ fights back, but Daniels takes him down with the STO for two. Back to Yang for a running leg lariat in the corner, and he brings Joe in. Man, they must not like AJ.
Joe fires away with more knee strikes and kicks him down, but AJ keeps fighting back and gets the bicycle kick to finally allow a tag to Daniels. He goes after Yang with a springboard elbow and powerbomb for two. Yang tries a charge but hits boot, and then recovers with a spinkick on Daniels. AJ springboards in with a clothesline on both of them, but gets tripped up by Joe. He tries a springboard on him, but Yang trips him up on the ropes and AJ splats. Joe tries the Ole Kick, but AJ clotheslines out of it, and Yang flies onto Joe with a suicide dive, and Daniels hits both of them with a moonsault press. Daniels brings Yang back in, but that backfires as Yang throws kicks for two. He goes up, but Daniels brings him down with an inverted rana, which is something you don’t often see. That gets two. Yang escapes and gets a moonsault press for two, but Joe is back.
Suplex for Daniels and powerslam for Yang gets two, but AJ breaks it up and gets the inverted DDT for two. Joe gets a front suplex and gets the rolling cradle for two, then kills the dizzy AJ with a lariat for two. Great stuff. Yang and Daniels try some double-teaming, but Joe gets rid of Yang, allowing Daniels to take him down with the Koji Klutch. AJ breaks it up and tries the Styles Clash, but Daniels counters to the Angel’s Wings, but Styles counters THAT with a bridge for two and they do a rollup reversal sequence. Joe chokes out AJ from behind and boots him in the corner, and that sets up the Muscle Buster to finish.
(Samoa Joe d. Styles/Daniels/Yang, Muscle Buster — pin, ****) It was coming across like a regular tag match for the early part, but once they started hitting the big finish it picked up and got crazy. Didn’t quite live up the pedigree of their stuff from TNA, but what really can? Joe calls out Bryan Danielson after the match, wanting his title back, and the crowd is of the opinion that Joe is the favorite. Danielson cuts a really funny chickenshit heel promo, running around the ring and lipping off at Joe about how he’s not scared, before taking off so that Joe won’t kill him.
– This leads to a sudden attack by Chris Hero of CZW, so Cornette’s “bouncer,” Adam Pearce, runs out and brawls with him into the crowd, which is unfortunately not lit well enough to actually see anything that’s going on. Nice to see that Chris Hero has moved on from the ICP stuff. Hero and his hillbilly buddy (Necro Butcher, I believe he was called at some point? The lack of commentary makes it hard to tell) do a major league heel beatdown on the ROH guys and Jim Cornette, before they’re finally chased off.
– Intermission time, so we get some comments from Prince Nana and the Embassy (“We’re gonna get laid by hookers!”) about the impending celebration. Alex Shelley is money.
– ROH tag team titles: Roderick Strong & Austin Aries v. Blood Generation
This should be an interesting mix of styles. Naruki Doi probably has the least-intimidating name in wrestling. Strong trades wristlocks with Doi to start and takes him down with a leglock, which he augments with a bridge. Doi comes back with a side headlock and they get pissed at each other. So it’s tags on both sides, and CIMA goes against Aries. They work off a headlock and take it to the mat, but Aries does a nice seated dropkick to counter out of CIMA’s headscissors. Strong comes in and grabs a wristlock, then overpowers CIMA to set up Aries with an elbowdrop for two. Strong chops CIMA down and gets two, and the champs get a Hart Attack for two. CIMA fights back on Strong, but gets suplexed as the crowd counts along with the delayed move. That’s a nice touch. CIMA kicking his legs and trying to fight out is another nice touch you don’t see often. After more than a MINUTE in the move, Strong finally drops him for two. Aries springboards in for two, and a quebrada gets two.
Strong and Aries trade off with chops on CIMA in the corner, but CIMA takes Strong into the corner with a headscissors and tags Doi. He’s a house of fire, and Blood Generation double-teams the champs out of the ring and follows with stereo dives on them. Aries is pouring blood out of his nose, and Blood Generation goes right after it. Doi stomps away in the corner and follows with a rolling senton. CIMA adds a stomp to the nose, which is just cruel. Aries tries to fight back, so CIMA tweaks his nose to block him. It’s not often that playing “got your nose” is a serious heel spot in a tag match, but there’s a first time for everything.
Aries gets taken to the heel corner and Doi dropkicks him in the ass to drive his head into the post, and it’s more punishment for the nose. Doi dropkicks him, into a german suplex from CIMA, but the challengers don’t capitalize. Doi goes up and gets caught by Aries, but comes back with a running powerbomb into the opposite corner. Oh my. That’s a well-earned “Holy Shit” chant. More double-teaming and they trade off on Aries, as CIMA double-stomps him from the top for two. Aries finally fights back and makes the hot tag to Strong.
Leg lariat for CIMA and dropkick for Doi, and Aries whips Strong into Doi with an elbow for two. It’s BONZO GONZO and CIMA double-stomps Strong to set up a Michinoku Driver for two. Ace Crusher on Aries, but Strong breaks up his move in the corner. Strong tries the backbreaker on CIMA, who keeps fighting him off and brings Aries down from the top. With Aries hung in the corner, CIMA comes off the other corner with a Van Terminator (minus the chair) to set up the Iconoclasm and frog splash. Aries gets the knees up, however, and Strong gets a gutbuster. Doi hits him with a seated dropkick for two, but Aries breaks it up. Brainbuster for Doi, but CIMA hits him with a Falcon Arrow for two. Strong puts CIMA in powerbomb position, and Aries dropkicks CIMA from there, and then a 450 splash finishes. I agree with the “This is awesome” chant from the crowd.
(Generation Next d. Blood Generation, Aries 450 — pin CIMA, ****1/2) Tremendous tag formula match with one of the most incredibly crazed finishing sequences you’ll see in an American-style match. This is the kind of stuff I love.
ROH World title: Bryan Danielson v. Lance Storm
I’m assuming that Danielson using the overblown self-parody of “The Final Countdown” for his entrance music is intentional, given his character. Storm, despite a year of retirement, looks in exactly the same shape as the day he left, because the man’s a genetic freak. And not like a Scott Steiner genetic freak, but a real one. Lockup battle to start and Storm takes him down with a wristlock, and eludes a dropkick attempt from Danielson. They fight for a headlock on the mat and Lance takes over with an armbar, so Danielson bitchslaps him in the corner. Storm rides him down and goes to a facelock, and then slaps him back. Storm shoots in and takes him down for two, and keeps him down with a hammerlock, for two. Danielson escapes with a dropkick, and drops a knee for two. Storm, however, fires back with his own dropkick, and Danielson bails to regroup.
Danielson protests to the ref that Storm loosened one of his teeth, but that tactic doesn’t work. They fight for a knucklelock and Danielson bridges, but Storm flips out of it. Danielson takes him down and throws knees out of a facelock, but Storm reverses out of it, so Danielson takes him into the corner and throws forearms to take him down, for two. Storm comes back with an elbow and a delayed suplex for two, and we hit the chinlock. Danielson fights up and pounds away in the corner, adding a choke, and reminding the ref that he has until five. That’s strangely entertaining. Danielson rebounds out of the corner, but Storm catches him with the half-crab, and he has to get to the ropes.
They brawl on the floor and Storm wins that battle, and gets two back in the ring. Storm goes up, but Danielson keeps knocking him down until he lands on the floor. Danielson takes over on the floor, sending him into the railing and adding some chops. Back in, that gets two. Danielson drives some knees into the back and chinlocks him, and a clothesline gets two. He goes to the surfboard, but Storm mule kicks out of it and they slug it out. Danielson with a backbreaker into what looks like a setup for a bow-and-arrow, but he stomps on the knees instead. Second try at it and this time he completes the move, but Storm counters out of it. Danielson stomps him down again after informing us about how long he can perform illegal maneuvers before the disqualification, but Storm comes back with a dropkick and legdrop for two.
Danielson gets a suplex for two and goes back to the surfboard again, but Storm fights back with the enzuigiri. Leg lariat gets two. Tiger bomb gets two. Powerslam gets two. Danielson runs away and gets caught with a rana, but reverses to a powerbomb for two. He gets a bow-and-arrow, but breaks and goes for the crossface chicken-wing instead. Storm flips out of it and gets a superkick for two. Superplex attempt is blocked by Danielson, but he can’t get a powerbomb. So he switches to a super backdrop suplex instead, and that gets two. Another CFCW attempt, but Storm makes the ropes. Danielson goes up and whiffs on the diving headbutt, allowing Storm to make the big comeback.
Storm gets the cradle piledriver for two and that sets up the half-crab, but Danielson pulls himself to the ropes, so Storm pulls him into the middle of the ring again. Danielson powers into a rollup for two, but Storm is up first and tries the superkick. Danielson ducks and forearms him down, into the Regalplex for two. Tiger suplex gets two. He holds onto the arms and flips over for Cattle Mutiation, and Storm taps.
(Bryan Danielson d. Lance Storm, Cattle Mutilation — submission, ***1/4) This was good, but as with most Storm matches felt a bit antiseptic and detached. Despite his bluster, Danielson still offers the handshake.
Chicago Street Fight: Homicide v. Colt Cabana
The video package before the match contains one of the meanest heel acts I can imagine: Throwing Drano at someone. That crosses some kind of line, I’m pretty sure. Cabana attacks to start and chokes Homicide down with his jacket, and backdrops him into the corner before pounding on him. He misses a charge, but comes back with a big boot and takes it to the floor. They brawl back up the ramp and Cabana sends him back into the ring, but Homicide comes back with a leg lariat and they go to the floor again. Cabana gets whipped into the railing and Homicide adds some chairshots and grabs…a coat hanger? That’s not very nice. Cabana chokes him out with it, but Homicide tosses him and gets a tope. He tries a Diamond Cutter off the apron, but Cabana blocks and hammers him down.
Cabana retrieves a ladder from under the ring and whiplashes Cabana to set up a catapult into it, then follows with a splash on the ladder for two. Homicide comes back with a swinging DDT onto the ladder, however, and gets two. Back to the floor and Cabana eats post and lands on a table, so Homicide takes advantage with a diving headbutt from the top, through the table. I’d say Cabana is in trouble now. Julius Smokes beats on Colt for good measure, and Homicide gets two in the ring. Back out again, where Homicide finds a big barbed-wire covered board under the ring. Now really, why would that even be under there? Homicide hits him with the ladder a few times to soften him up, but Cabana comes back with a suplex on the ladder, which pretty much destroys the ladder. Cabana pulls one of Homicide’s shirts off, but can’t slam him on the barbed wire, and they fight to rub it in each others’ faces.
Slugfest and Colt stands there and takes it, then takes him down and pounds away on the mat. However, he’s also one step ahead of Homicide, and steals his FORK. Is that in case he gets hungry? Homicide starts doing some QUALITY bleeding, as Colt forks him up but good. Colt wins a slugfest, being armed with a fork and all, and digs into his eye with it. Ew. I thought he was the fun-loving guy? That’s neither fun nor loving! Homicide, apparently desperate, finds a bottle of Drano under the ring and tosses it in, but Colt isn’t scared of ANY cleaning products and keeps beating on Homicide. TKO and Colt goes with rubbing alcohol as his weapon of choice, throwing it in Homicide’s bloody face. Holy CRAP. That would HURT, dude. But at least his cuts won’t get infected.
Cabana wants no offers of peace, so Homicide kicks him in the junk and retrieves a chair this time. Geez, that’s pretty pedestrian given the match thus far. Well, I spoke too soon, as the fans now throw their chairs into the ring and fill it up. I hate that spot, because it’s dangerous for the wrestlers and fans. So in a chair-filled ring, Cabana puts Homicide on the top rope and superplexes him on the chairs, for two. Cabana clears some of the chairs out and puts him on top again for another superplex, but Homicide blocks him and gets an ugly Pedigree off the top, for two. Lariat gets two for Homicide. Julius Smokes comes in and hits his partner by mistake, and Cabana makes one more trip under the ring, but first stops to tie Smokes to the top rope and thus neutralize him. Cabana gets a table, which will presumably compliment that barbed wire board somehow, as he sets up the table over the barbed wire. Homicide tosses a chair at him and they head up to the top, but Colt fights him off and powerbombs him through the table, onto the barbed wire, for two. Geez, you’d think that would be the finish. Lariat gets two. Colt 45 finishes to end the feud.
(Colt Cabana d. Homicide, Colt 45 — pin, ****) This was probably the most imaginative garbage match I’ve seen in quite some time, and the only time you’ll see Drano, rubbing alcohol, and a fork used as a matter of maintaining continuity. The Rottweilers take their revenge on Cabana afterwards and try to hang him (while yelling “Mississippi Burning” at him), but Homicide breaks it up and offers the handshake instead.
