[JunkNewsflash!] Jeff Hardy Surprised He Is Back With WWE

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Jeff Hardy was just as surprised as us when WWE.com announced the wrestler has signed a contract with the company.

“When did I do THAT?” Jeff Hardy asked insidepulse.com. “Are you guys sure? Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled to be back, but, I mean… when did this happen? Let’s see, Monday I was studying herbal medicine in India with Ricky Williams. Tuesday I was surfing a red river down a mountain on the moon with Paul, Paul’s the goat who chills with me every now and then, Wednesday… hmm. I don’t remember what happened Wednesday. Was there a Wednesday this week? Thursday I was playing ring toss with Frank Sinatra and a 500 foot tall violet unicorn… it must have been Wednesday, but man, I seriously don’t remember signing any contracts.”

Jeff Hardy asked insidepulse.com if we were sure this was real because he’d been fooled before, and we assured him it was. The interview ended abruptly when Jeff Hardy grabbed a steak knife and tried to save insidepulse.com by stabbing the dwarfish creatures who were eating our legs.

Stay tuned to insidepulse for full coverage of Jeff Hardy’s first feud against the WWE wellness policy.