Our usual opening reveals that tonight will feature Batista and Bobby Lashley against Finlay and William Regal, as well as Rey Mysterio vs Mr Kennedy tonight!
The Great Khali and Daivari make their entrance. Daivari mentions the challenge by The Undertaker last year; but Daivari says that to Khali, Taker does not exist anymore. They do not accept, there will be no Last Man Standing Match at SummerSlam. Daivari says that the challenge means nothing, and the bells begin to ring! Undertaker makes his way down to the ring and a fist fight ensues! Even with involvement by Daivari, Undertaker wins the fight with a Chokeslam!
We get footage from last week involving the Guerreros and Mysterio, which leads us to Vickie and Chavo backstage. Chavo and Vickie reminisce about their good and bad times, before Chavo says that this is all Mysterio’s fault, as he’s trying to steal the Guerrero family name. Vickie says that Chavo is tearing up the family, but it’s Mysterio tearing up the family. Chavo leaves Vickie by reminding her that Mysterio is not a Guerrero. Not an offensive storyline so far.
Commercials.
Opening Contest: Tatanka vs Gregory Helms
Let’s see if Tatanka can have his third good match in three weeks. Chop by Tatanka to start. Helms gets some offence in but fails an irish whip, stops a suplex attempt by Tatanka but Tatanka gets in a clothesline. Scoop slam by Tatanka who sends Helms off the ropes into an elbow. Helms sends Tatanka face first into the second turnbuckle and pounds away at Tatanka, before he stomps and stands on him. Snapmare by Helms for a two count.
Helms gets some elbows in to Tatanka’s neck. Tatanka up with some punches, Helms gets the advantage and goes for a suplex which Tatanka blocks, Helms gets behind Tatanka and goes for the Nightmare but gets sent into the corner! Helms with a missile dropkick for a two count. Helms with another snapmare before he locks in a headlock; Tatanka gets to his feet and the two begin to exchange rights, with Tatanka getting the upper hand. Chop by Tatanka before Helms off the ropes into a shoulder body toss, and Tatanka dances! Chops by Tatanka, who goes up top and jumps off with a the Tomahawk Chop for a two count, close to three. Helms gets sent into the corner, but gets behind Tatanka for a neckbreaker. Shining Wizard by Helms for the three count! Even though Tatanka’s leg was under the bottom rope.
Winner: Gregory Helms
I always thought the foot had to be touching the rope? Post match, Tatanka tries to tell the referee what happened. Not to the par of his matches with Sylvan, but still not bad. Four out of Ten.
Daivari is backstage with Long, yelling about Taker. Long announces that the Last Man Standing Match won’t happen at SummerSlam, but rather next week!
Still to come: Batista/Lashley vs Regal/Finlay!
Commercials
Second Contest: KC James and Idol Stevens w/Michelle McCool vs Paul London and Brian Kendrick
Which one is which again? And why are they having this match so quickly into their SmackDown tenure? Stevens and London start; lock up and Stevens gets London in a headlock, London turns it into a hammerlock but Stevens escapes only to get a drop toe hold. Kendrick in and Stevens gets double teamed with elbows. Tag out to London, who comes in with a double axe handle to the shoulder. Kendrick back in and he gets a double axe handle to Stevens as well. London back in .. man I hate tag team matches like this .. and in with a foot stomp to the arm of Stevens for a two count. Inverted atomic by London, Kendrick tagged in and comes in with a crossbody to Stevens for a one count.
Kendrick gets in a headlock but Stevens forces Kendrick into his corner, and James is tagged in. Elbow drop gets James a pinfall. Wristlock by James, Kendrick reverses it and takes it to his corner before he tags in London, double team hiptoss by London and Kendrick. London with a headlock takedown to James, London gets sent into the ropes by James and Stevens grabs the leg. Stevens distracts London for a little while and James gets a running clothesline, but accidentally hits Stevens. London comes off the ropes into another attack by Stevens! Stevens spears London into the apron.
Back in the ring James gets a one count on London. Tag out to Stevens, with a double team backbreaker for a two count. London gets some punches in but Stevens gets a knee to the gut of London, London off the ropes before he slams Stevens face first into the canvas. London tags out to Kendrick! Kendrick with elbows, sidekicks, and other kicks as well! Stevens and James get the upper hand and go to double team suplex Kendrick, but Kendrick lands behind and London gets a double sided clothesline from the top rope! Kendrick rolls up Stevens, but James kicks him right in the head! Stevens rolls up Kendrick for the three count.
Winners: Idol Stevens and K.C. James
Stevens and James celebrate afterwards. Not a bad match, but it felt really rushed towards the end and I really do hate moments where there’s six tags within such a limited time. Editing issues, or Wrestling issues? Five out of Ten.
We’ve got Ashley Massaro backstage with Luke Perry, who looks horrible now .. could look worse though. Kristal comes over and a bitch fit ensues between Kristal and Ashley, but Perry keeps them apart. Kristal leaves and Ashley tells Luke what he should be looking for in the Diva Search winner.
Commercials.
We’ve got the Diva Search girls in the ring. Well, might as well get it out of the way now. On the upside: four left, and one will be gone next week! But tonight we’ve got a talent contest. Yay. Tonight’s judge is Luke Perry. Funny story; I ended up writing the entire segment, but then I decided to declare this the Worst Segment Ever. Luke Perry makes Layla tonight’s winner, mostly because she’s the only one who got some cheers.
Vickie is backstage with Mysterio. She says she doesn’t want to pick sides and wants this all to stop. She talks about her heartache and how she wants Mysterio and Chavo to forgive each other and be friends again. Mysterio says he’ll try his best in the name of Eddie, and he’ll try to avoid fighting him. Mysterio says he can’t guarantee anything, but he’ll try.
Commercials.
Third Contest: Mr Kennedy vs Rey Mysterio
Lock up and Kennedy forces Mysterio into the corner but gets counted off by the referee. Lock up and Kennedy gets a headlock on Mysterio and turns it into a hammerlock, Mystrerio elbows Kenendy off and gets a headlock, off the ropes Mysterio gets a headscissors. Mysterio with elbows but comes off the ropes into an elbow by Kennedy. In the corner Kennedy gets in some punches, sends Mysterio into the other corner but Mysterio gets some high kicks, comes back with a hurricanrana attempt but Kennedy remains standing and slams Mysterio’s front into the turnbuckles.
Kennedy focuses on Mysterio’s head, hooking his arm, but Mysterio escapes with some kicks, comes off the ropes but throws Mysterio up and lets him slam into the canvas, following up with a kick to the head. Kennedy gets a two count. Kennedy locks Mysterio with a wristlock variation, Mysterio gets to the ropes. (JBL; “The only thing that ever distracted me was last call”) Kennedy whips Mystrerio into the corner, Mysterio jumps up but gets caught by Kennedy, Mysterio slides behind and slams Kennedy into the corner. Mysterio goes up top but Kennedy trips him, Mysterio lands gut first on the top turnbuckle, and Kennedy goes to send Mysterio flying but Mysterio reverses it with a frankensteiner!
Commercials.
We’re back, and the two are exchanging rights. Kennedy sends Mysterio outside, and Mysterio looks to have landed on his weak knee .. he had a weak knee? Hm. Kennedy sends Mysterio into the apron, back inside Kennedy gets a two count. Kennedy works the head of Mysterio again but an “Eddie” chant starts up, before Mysterio gets to the rope. Mysterio gets some elbows in, Kennedy off the ropes with a sunset flip which Mysterio turns into a dropkick! Springboard crossbody gets Mysterio a two count, close to a three. Mysterio off the ropes and catches Kennedy with a crucifix pinfall for a two count! Kennedy sends Mysterio off the ropes, but Mysterio back with the sunset powerbomb for a two count! Mysterio goes for the 619, but gets a baseball slide to Chavo Guerrero! The two brawl on the outside, Vickie comes up from behind and Mysterio gets shoved into her! Chavo remains out of it for a moment, but attacks Mysterio and tries to help Vickie up. Vickie shoves Chavo off of her and yells at the two and we .. fade to a commercial?
Winner: No Contest
Well, it was either a no contest or Kennedy wins by count out .. or Mysterio wins by disqualification. Hm. Either way it was a fun match. Six out of Ten.
Commercials.
Backstage we see King Booker stroking his title, Queen Sharmell comes in and again asks what concerns him. Booker says that Batista doesn’t concern him, but wonders how many ‘gladiators’ he has to slay to be noticed at the King of the World. Booker says he shall vanquish the animal, because he is King Booker!
Fourth Contest: Sylvan vs Vito
Vito slaps Sylvan to start! Inverted atomic by Vito, clothesline follows. Sylvan gets hit with a shoulder body toss and inverted atomic before he rolls out of the ring. Sylvan gets a shoulder to the gut of Vito and comes in with a sunset flip but can see right up Vito’s manly man-dress and runs away. Sylvan gets an eyepoke and snake eyes Vito. Sylvan sends Vito into the corner, and Vito comes back into a clothesline for a two count. Vito gets some punches in but runs into a sambo suplex for a two count. Sylvan gets in a sleeper hold, but Vito gets to his feet and gets sent into the ropes and comes back with some kicks to Sylvan. Vito goes for the Forget About It but gets flipped over by Sylvan. Stinger splash by Sylvan misses and Vito gets in the Forget About It, and gets in the Panty Stain for the victory.
Winner: Sylvan
Not bad, but certainly seen better from these two lately. Two out of Ten.
RAW Rebound: Shawn Michaels gets sent to jail.
Commercials.
Recap of Khali/Taker from earlier in the show.
Elijah Burke is in the ring, and he introduces Sylvester Turkay.
Fifth Contest: Sylvester Turkay vs No Name Jobber Fodder
Turkay attacks the jobber fodder early on to start and nails a great Fisherman’s Suplex. Belly to Belly by Turkay. Turkay gets a spinning back hand on the fodder and ends the match with the arm stretch.
Winner: Sylvester Turkay
I think the term Jobber Fodder pretty much defines this rating. -Five out of Ten. I hate squash matches. Oh and, by the way, Burke gets in some shots in the fodder afterwards.
Backstage, Long walks into M.V.P. MVP puts him over as a big, obnoxious, star that Long needs. Long suggests they sit down and negotiate, but MVP tells that his Agent will ring him tomorrow. Right.
Backstage, we’ve got Regal and Finlay arguing! Finlay tells Regal to get a hold of his emotions and stop taking this so personally. Finlay tells Regal to do what he says and they’ll beat them.
Up next: Batista and Bobby Lashley vs Finlay and William Regal
Commercials.
He Lurked in the Shadows … He Hid in your Closet … THE BOOGEYMAN! He’s coming back! Never thought I’d be happy about that! JBL’s reaction is priceless.
Summerslam;
WWE Championship:Edge (Champion) vs John Cena
I Quit:Ric Flair vs Mick Foley
DX vs The McMahons
ECW Championship:The Big Show (Champion) vs ???
Legend vs legend Killer:Hulk Hogan vs Randy Orton
World Heavy Weight Championship:King Booker (Champion) vs Batista
King Booker and Queen Sharmell are at ringside and JBL almost ruins his pants. For those taking note: Sharmell seems to have dyed her hair black.
Finlay, William Regal, Lashley, and Batista make their entrances .. which of course means commercials.
Commercials.
Main Event: Finlay and William Regal vs Lashley and Batista
So we’re back to calling him Lashley again, are we? We’re back with Finlay and Batista in the ring, Batista sending Finlay into the corner for spears, into the opposite corner for a clothesline. Tag out to Lashley, and Finlay tags out to Regal. Lashley with kicks and punches to Regal in the corner, Lashley sends Regal into the opposing corner but runs into a high kick, Regal off the ropes into an elbow by Lashley. Scoop slam by Lashley, who follows up with an elbow drop. Scoop slam by Lashley, who goes off the ropes and gets taken outside by Finlay pulling down the top rope and it’s Little Bastard time!
Finlay slams the Little Bastard on Lashley before he gets sent back under the ring. Lashley gets rolled back into the ring by Finlay, and Regal comes at him with kicks and chokes him with his knee. Tag out to Finlay. Finlay gets a sleeper hold on Lashley (JBL: “I’d pay money to watch them copulate” re: the possible leprechaun civilization, who lives under the ring). Short arm clothesline on Lashley, and Finlay tags out to Regal. Regal gets high kicks on Lashley. Right uppercuts by Regal, who then locks a front headlock and sends Lashley into the corner – but Lashley turns it around and begins punching away! Regal gets a knee in and regains the advantage, before he tags out to Finlay.
Finlay comes in with a kick to the head of Lashley, before he sends him shoulder first into the steel pole. Finlay distracts the referee while Regal kicks Lashley’s head into the steel pole. Elbow drops by Finlay followed by a Sleeper Hold and a “USA” chant starts up. Lashley gets up and sends Finlay into the corner, Finlay comes back into a overhead belly to belly! Finlay tags out to Regal, who stops Lashley from tagging out to Batista just in time. Regal looks to get in a cobra clutch to Lashley before he drops a knee to the head of Lashley, forces down and pulls up on Lashley’s arm. Lashley gets up with punches but Regal punches him right down, and tackles Lashley into the corner and tags out.
Lashley gets nailed with a uppercut by Finlay, Finlay then locks in a front headlock. Lashley flips Finlay over! Regal tagged in, and so is Batista! Batista in with rights to both Regal and Finlay! Scoop slams! Regal into the ropes, comes back with a high kick but gets clotheslined for a two count! Finlay gets nailed with a shoulder body toss by Lashley! Finlay in the corner, Regal gets sent into him and the two stumble back into stereo spears by Lashley and Batista! Spinebuster to Regal gets Batista a three count!
Winners: Lashley and Batista
By the way, during this entire match, King Booker and JBL were totally on fire! Batista gets on the microphone afterwards and thanks Booker for holding his title for him, but at SummerSlam he’ll be getting it back! Booker keeps his cool and leaves as SmackDown fades to black. Not a bad main event all in all, but it could have gone a bit longer. I should note too: this match hid Lashley’s weaknesses pretty well. Six out of Ten.
Gregory Helms vs Tatanka: 4/10
James / Stevens vs London / Kendrick: 5/10
Rey Mysterio vs Mr Kennedy: 6/10
Sylvan vs Vito: 2/10
Turkay vs Jobber Fodder: -5/10
Batista / Lashley vs Regal / Finlay: 6/10
SmackDown 11/08/06: 18/60
So tonight’s show was, well, crap. Outside of the acceptable nature of the wrestling everything wasn’t all that good. There were even a few moments where JBL wasn’t up to his usual standards, that is of course outside of the main event. The main problem with this show was the worst ever portion of the Diva Search. Undertaker and The Great Khali was quick at least and I suppose that the most positive thing to say about SmackDown this week is that so far the Mysterio/Guerrero feud has yet to be offensive and actually makes some sense. But, anyways, a SmackDown that you can very easily pass and not care. You’ll see the one or two storyline moments in next week’s opening package. Until next week, ciao y’all!
