Caught In The Nexus: Hanging Around With Monkey Woman

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Thank you for joining me for what is, I think, a first not only for myself and Comics Nexus but a first for Internet-based Fandom Magazines anywhere. My colleagues and I have interviewed dozens of artists, writers and other creative people who create stories about superheroes. But nobody, to my knowledge, has ever interviewed a real-life superhero before…

… until now!

Recently, I have came into contact with a heroine who was most recently seen on the popular “Who Wants To Be A Superhero show, fighting off a team of wild dogs. She became a favorite of the Nexus staff because of her pluck, her tenacity and (let’s be honest – most of us Nexus writers are very lonely men) her costume. It was tricky getting a hold of her – I had to use all my cunning to find a means of getting her attention that would not result in my being beaten senseless.

After several weeks of walking through parks wearing banana-scented cologne, screaming for help while standing under large trees and eventually holding various monkey-shaped emblems before industrial spotlights to get her attention… success. I did it! I got in touch with her…after finding her on MySpace after a Google search.

But in the end my hard work paid off! And I was able to sit down for a banana shake and a cup of talk with a woman who is all things to all people; everything men dream of and everything women strive to be! Ladies and Gentlmen! Damen und Herren! Comics Nexus is proud to bring you Twenty Questions With Monkey Woman!

Starman: Where are you from originally?

Monkey Woman: I became who I am now a long time ago in the Amazon jungle. The howler monkeys taught me survival skills at a time in my life that I didn’t expect to live through.

Starman: Tell us, as much as you are comfortable, about your early life.

Monkey Woman: My early memories are very painful…I cannot reveal much as it would compromise my true identity, but suffice it to say I was orphaned as a child and lived through the terror of being lost and alone, miles from human civilization.

Starman: What prompted you to answer the call to action and become a superhero?

Monkey Woman: After I discovered evidence that my mother might still be alive (though held hostage by the villainous Zookeeper) after all these years, my repressed childhood memories flared to life again with a passion. I never lost the skills I learned in the wild (agility, climbing, fighting) and recruited the help of trusted friends to help build me weapons and tools to aid in my campaign against all evildoers.

Starman: On that note, we’ve seen you in action with your super-friends. Do you have any super-enemies?

Monkey Woman:The Zookeeper is my arch nemesis. You can read all about him at monkeywoman.com. Also, I’ve had pretty ugly scuffles with some of his minions.

Starman: Who would you say you got along with the best out of all the other heroes you met on the show?

Monkey Woman: I love them all dearly and got along with everyone. We still all hang out now – I just played volleyball with Major Victory last night (okay, it was more like “dodge ball” for me because I haven’t played in a long time and he is frighteningly good) and email or talk to everyone regularly.

Starman: Who would you say you got along with the least out of all the other heroes on the show?

Monkey Woman: Rotiart…but only because I didn’t have much of a chance to get to know him and he turned out to be a traitor and all…but I’m sure he’s really a nice guy.

Starman: Is your costume real fur? If so, what creature did you use to make it and did it die humanely?

Monkey Woman: I would not harm an innocent creature for material purposes and used all synthetic materials in making my outfit.

Starman: What are your opinions on PETA? Are you affiliated with them or any similar animal rights groups?

Monkey Woman: I do not support the harm of animals but am not affiliated with any organization to that effect. I prefer superhero justice over political activism.

Starman: Don’t we all? Little less serious question – what are your favorite colors?

Monkey Woman:Yellow, green and shiny silver.

Starman: One of my fellow writers was very impressed by your handling of the dogs on the show, saying it was one of the most inspiring things he had ever seen. By that token, he wonders what inspires the great Monkey Woman?

Monkey Woman:When I know the difference between success or failure at any given task is only a matter of time and persistence, I’ll NEVER quit!!!

Starman: The same writer was also wondering if there is a Mister Monkey Woman or if you are married to the cause of justice?

Monkey Woman:The latter….but I do have a huge crush on Batman.



Starman: What do you think are your biggest strengths as a person and a hero?

Monkey Woman:Determination. What I lack in other areas I make up for with sheer tenacity and heart.

Starman: What do you think your biggest weaknesses are as a person and as a hero?

Monkey Woman:The music of organ grinders is my greatest weakness as a hero. It strikes a nerve somehow and I just lose myself in a downward spiral of terror. I’ve never understood why…..it just…happens…Also, I’m easily distracted by shiny objects.

Starman: What are some of your favorite things?

Monkey Woman:Shiny objects, bananas, banana weapons, banana bread, banana boats, The Banana Splits, Banana Republic, 99 Bananas, and Curious George.

Starman: What things bother you? What are your pet peeves?

Monkey Woman:Organ grinder music people who are mean to other people or animals, people who try to take over the world and enslave the human race. Also I’m very peeved by litter. I just don’t
understand what’s so hard about using a trash can…

Starman: Do you have a hard time working in urban areas as opposed to the jungle? Not so many vines to swing around on in Los Angeles…

Monkey Woman: I ordered a special vine on the Internet that allows me to swing around the city almost as easily as the jungle.

Starman: What do you consider your biggest personal triumph in your time on the show?

Monkey Woman: My goal was to enjoy the experience, learn as much from it as I could, and look for the best in all my fellow superheroes. I believe I accomplished that goal.

Starman: What do you consider to be your greatest failure in all your time on the show?

Monkey Woman: I was perhaps not savvy enough to navigate the twists in the game.

Starman: What’s in your immediate future? Can we expect to see more of Monkey Woman after “Who Wants To Be A Superhero?”

Monkey Woman: As long as there are trees to climb, bananas to peel, and people in need, this simian superhero will not be far…

Starman: Finally, is there anything in particular you would like to say to all our readers?

Monkey Woman:We are all superheroes! Whether you’ve created an alter ego for yourself or not, whether you wear spandex or fur or jeans or a suit….inside all of us is a superhero waiting to change the world and bring peace to the planet. And together we WILL bring peace as each of us becomes that hero!

He stands at the center of the universe, old as the stars and wise as infinity. And he can see the turning of the last page long before you’ve even started the book. He’s like rain and fog and the chilling touch of the grave. He is called many names in a thousand tongues on a million worlds. Heckler. The Smirking One. Riffer. The Lonely Magus. Wolf-Brother. The God of Snark. Mister Pirate. The Guy In The Rafters. Captain. The Voice In The Back. But here and now, in this place and in this time, he is called The Starman. And... he's wonderful.