Before we get to the show, I just wanted to thank those of you who took the time to email me about my “debut” Impact recap last week. Also thanks to Mark Neeley for the plug in his final Impact recap last week. I didn’t get a whole lot of feedback but what I did get was positive, so I’ll just assume I’m doing alright and continue along my merry way.
The Chrononaut Chronicles: TNA iMPACT! — Thursday, August 17, 2006
– Throughout the premiere of The Ultimate Fighter 4, Impact teasers aired featuring Mike Tenay and Don West in the ring, which was decorated in preparation for Jeff Jarrett’s victory celebration. That’s supposed to make people want to watch?
– The first thing we see when Impact begins is Homicide ramming Christopher Daniels against the announce table, while AJ Styles brawls in the crowd with Hernandez. The Fallen Angel comes up bleeding and Konnan asks Daniels how it feels to taste his own blood as he and Homicide club away at the wound. LAX drag the NWA World Tag Team Champions to the decorated ring to continue the assault, but Daniels fights back, only to be garroted by the Notorious 187 and choked down. The Phenomenal One jumps on Hernandez’s back, but Konnan smashes him with a bottle of champagne in an ice bucket, busting AJ wide open. Rhino finally charges out and unloads on LAX until Monty Brown joins the party and attacks the War Machine. Brother Runt runs down and jumps on the Alpha Male, but James Mitchell brings Abyss out and he pounds Runt. Feeling left out, Samoa Joe rushes in and slugs it out with Rhino as Jeff Jarrett makes his way down and complains that this was supposed to be his party. The NWA World Champion sets off the confetti guns anyway and drinks champagne amidst the chaos until the lights go out. When they come back on, Sting is using his baseball bat to clear out LAX, Monty, and Abyss while Jarrett is on the ramp. The Stinger claims that Christian Cage, not Jarrett, beat him at Hard Justice and states that he will do anything to get a rematch on October 22 at Bound For Glory, demanding an answer by the end of the night. Wow, two more months of Sting/Jarrett? Ugh, it’s like TNA is trying to get me to quit recapping or something.
– A video package recaps the epic 30-minute Fire vs. TNA encounter last Sunday at Hard Justice. After a grueling struggle that saw the fans evacuated from the Impact Zone, TNA emerged victorious following a run-in by the debuting Fire Marshall.
– Jeremy Borash is outside Jarrett’s dressing room when Eric Young emerges. JB and EY go through a funny exchange and Eric announces that Jeff will have an answer for Sting later tonight. When JB asks if Jarrett said anything else, Eric replies that he said to get the hell out, but isn’t sure if JJ meant out of the hallway, out of the building, or maybe even out of TNA. Eric wonders if Jarrett has the power to fire him.
– Alex Shelley & Johnny Devine & Petey Williams vs. Chris Sabin & Jay Lethal & Sonjay Dutt
Early on, Lethal hits the hiptoss/cartwheel-dropkick on Devine and Shelley comes in to spit right in Jay’s face. After some miscommunication, the heels end up on the floor and Lethal & Sabin dive through the ropes onto Johnny & Petey while Sonjay takes out Alex with a somersault plancha over the top for a cool visual. Meanwhile, Earl Hebner jumps referee Slick Johnson in the ring and chokes him with a belt until TNA Security flood in to pull him off as we go to break. After the break, Lethal makes the hot tag to Dutt, who unloads on all three opponents as chaos reigns. Sabin & Lethal take Williams & Devine down for some old rowboat action as Dutt snaps off a huracanrana on Shelley in the middle of the rowboat for a two-count. That was cool. The heels take turns squashing Sabin in the corner, but the tables are turned and the babyfaces do the same to Johnny before Sabin lands a springboard legdrop on Devine for the 1-2-3. No mention at all of Kevin Nash.
– A video recap of the Sting/Jarrett match at Hard Justice comes next, followed by exclusive post-PPV footage of Rhino confronting Christian backstage after his heel turn. Christian promises Rhino that he did it for him and everyone else in TNA.
– In a special video feature, Christian acknowledges the rumors that people saw his turn coming a mile away, but he says that’s the furthest thing from the truth. Cage narrates his heel turn as clips from the PPV are shown, explaining that he did everything he could to help Sting short of putting on the facepaint himself and wrestling the match for him. Christian claims that Sting wanted him to stand in his shadow, but recalls that he, not Sting, was the biggest signing in TNA history and takes credit for the SpikeTV deal and the Thursday night timeslot. Cage states that Sting wasn’t good enough to get the job done and that Sting’s claims of Christian being like a brother to him were a “crock of shit“. Christian mentions that Rhino is like a brother and he’ll understand what he did to Sting when Christian gets to sit down and explain it to him. Cage promises to be in the Impact Zone next week and adds that while people say he screwed Sting, it was Sting who screwed him, pointing out that he never got a rematch after losing the World Title. The former NWA Champion welcomes us to the “Christian Cage Era”. Good promo to explain his motivation and why he helped Sting throughout the PPV match before turning on him.
– Borash is backstage with the bloody NWA Tag Team Champions as Daniels cuts an intense old-school promo challenging LAX to a match and offering to put the belts on the line. Out at the Spanish announce table, Konnan responds that they want a “Border Brawl” next week, which means no disqualifications and anything goes. K-Dog vows that LAX will go 5150 on Styles & Daniels and take the gold. ¡ARRIBA LA RAZA!
– Another Bobby Roode vignette airs featuring comments from Simon Diamond, James Mitchell, and Shane Douglas about what they could do for the former Canadian Enforcer, but Roode isn’t satisfied with their answers and suggests that he may have to think “out of the box” and go outside TNA for his choice.
– Chris Harris vs. Kazarian vs. Chase Stevens vs. BG James
This is to make up for the exclusion of the four-way tag match at Hard Justice, with the winner here earning his team a crack at the NWA World Tag Team Championship. Only two men allowed in the ring at once, as Kazarian covers Stevens after a slingshotting in with a DDT, but Harris breaks the pin at two and BG comes in to clean house, scoring a two-count on Chase after a bad pumphandle slam. BG punches away at the Wildcat as James Storm appears at ringside with a beer bottle, despite Harris sending him back to the locker room before the match. While the ref is busy with the Cowboy, Harris tries to punch BG with the handcuffs but James ducks and sets him up for the pumphandle. Storm tries to interfere, but ends up distracting Harris as Stevens picks up the handcuffs and nails the Wildcat for the three-count to earn the Naturals a title shot.
Afterwards, Shane Douglas walks down to ringside with Andy Douglas and actually smiles as he congratulates Chase on the big win. Meanwhile in the ring, Harris blames Storm for the loss and they shove each other as Gail Kim tries to mediate. The Cowboy flips the double-bird at the Wildcat and says something naughty (if you can read lips) before storming off.
– A video package features comments from Ron Killings and Samoa Joe to set up the main event of the evening.
– Samoa Joe vs. Ron “The Truth” Killings
They go face-to-face and Joe piefaces the Truth, who fires back with right hands and forearm uppercuts before double-legging Joe and pounding him on the mat. Joe cracks Truth with a nice enzuigiri, but Killings comes back with a HHH-style facebuster on the knee and knocks Joe to the floor with a pump kick, then leaps over the top rope with a somersault plancha as we go to break. When we come back, Joe is battering Truth around ringside and slams Killings with the standing STO back inside. “Joe’s Gonna Kill You” chant rings out as Joe snapmares Truth and unleashes the chop across the back, kick to the chest, and jumping kneedrop off the ropes.
Joe hammers Truth in the corner and facewashes him, but Truth fights out of a rear-chinlock and decks Joe with the spinning forearm. Joe catches Truth in the snap powerslam for a two-count and applies a cross-armbreaker, but Killings tries to block it and makes it to the ropes. Truth mounts a comeback with a leg lariat and misses the Axe Kick, but hauls Joe up and drops him in an impressive sit-out gourdbuster for a near-fall. Killings goes to the top, but Joe takes his legs out with a jumping kick and kills him with the Muscle Buster to score the pinfall and keep his “undefeated” streak alive.
– Borash interviews Jeff Jarrett, who points out that there’s nothing in it for him if he accepts Sting’s challenge. Jarrett states that he’ll only defend the NWA World Heavyweight Championship if Sting agrees to put his career on the line at Bound For Glory, and demands that Sting show up next week with a contract with that stipulation. “Career vs. Title: what’s your answer?”
– We finish with the “Adrenaline Rush” video recap and hype for next week’s Border Brawl for the World Tag Team Championship questioning if the Phenomenal Angels are risking too much.
Afterthoughts: Another wrestling-heavy show like last week, except that the wrestling was a lot better this week. We also had probably the best Impact opening ever (aside maybe from the Joe/Daniels match that opened the first Thursday Impact) with all hell breaking loose and manly blade jobs from Daniels & Styles. Jarrett insisting on going on with his celebration despite the chaos surrounding him made for a pretty funny visual and he had great facial expressions. The AMW breakup continues, which is probably a good thing considering the depth of the tag team division now and looks like it will be a good storyline with Harris disapproving of Storm’s drinking. Christian’s explanation of his heel turn was rock-solid and actually made sense, which was a great relief. I’m also interested to see where they go with Roode’s manager search, Eric Young was funny yet again, and the Joe/Truth main event was a good TV match.
I’m really not into two more months of Jarrett vs. Sting, so I really hope they find a way to slide Joe in there. I’d make it a three-way at Bound For Glory and play up that Joe’s only weakness in TNA has been in three-ways and four-ways. Against two cagey veterans like Sting and Jarrett, that could make him the underdog, but he would win in the end. I think that would be a great moment, but I guess it would interfere with the Career vs. Title thing they seem to be building. Oh well, we’ll see. Anyway, thanks for reading and I’ll see you in the future.
