Rasslin Roundtable: WWE SummerSlam

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Bad Taste Match
Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

PK: So, are we to understand that the winner of this will continue to live on in Eddie’s name? You know what would really be great, they pull the trigger on Chavo, and finally make him a Main Eventer.
Winner – Chavo

Widro: It is really sad to see Vicky Guerrero doing this. Should be a good in-ring match at least.
Winner – Chavo

Eric Szulczewski: Oh, will this never end? If there is an end, it’ll be at Survivor Series, once we’ve passed the first anniversary of Eddy’s death. So, in order for this feud to continue, Chavito has to take this match. Are we going to see a Vickie heel turn here, as she finally realizes that there’s nothing like real familia?
Winner – Chavito

Matthew Michaels: Rey’s gonna win this one, showing WWE simply doesn’t know how to REALLY take advantage of Eddie’s death.
Winner – Mysterio

Iain Burnside: Here’s hoping that the hypocrites and their high horses get struck down by lightning. At least then the collcetive planetary IQ might be nudged upwards. Face it, this is professional wrestling, not Walt Disney’s Super Fun Happy Time. You kept watching after Montreal, after Owen’s death, and after several other morally hollow moments, and all you did was bitch. Hardly helpful, since Vince gets his kicks from criticism. Try not watching. Try abandoning the product. Otherwise just shut up, because you really are just as bad as they are. Yes, me too. Shocking. Anyway – a fairly dull match that hopefully ends a fairly dull feud involving a fairly dull Guerrero. Where’s Pepe?
Winner – he who loves the dead, REY MYSTERIO

Grut: Everyone is saying this match is in bad taste. Allow me to disagree. I think the angle is perfectly fine. It allows Eddie’s name to live on, it lets his family make some more money and it gives his less charismatic nephew incredible heat. Let us not forget the battle seems to be about who should bask in the honor of the Guerrero name. It is a tribute to Eddie, not a slap in the face. Stop being dicks.
Winner – Chavo.

Steve Murray: The best thing anyone has said about this build-up is that it isn’t totally offensive. Yet. However, these two know each other extremely well, and should be motivated to put on a show-stealing match. I’m mostly curious to see if the match is won cleanly, or due to one of the participants doing a successful “lie, cheat, and steal”.
Winner – Rey Mysterio

Danny Wallace: This can go one of two ways in my opinion. It’ll either end with Rey winning, which means in theory the angle’s over and done with, or Chavo will win and the feud will continue for another few months, probably until Survivor Series. Either way, it should be a great match. I’m not too keen on the angle, but I’m betting that not many other people are either. Still, it’s the WWE, so Chavo will win as they try to milk some more money from the death of Eddie Guerrero.
Winner – Chavo Guerrero

Mark Neeley: Just depends on if they will keep the feud going. Otherwise, not that I did in the first place, I really don’t care. But considering they will keep it going, Chavito wins.
Winner – Chavito Guerrero

Vinny Truncellito: Chavo could stake his claim to a spot in the upper mid-card with a win here, a spot fans were DYING to support him in following his Uncle Eddie’s tragic death. Is it too little, too late? Will it work out with Chavo as a heel? I believe it can, if he goes over big against Rey.
Winner – Chavo Guerrero

Troy Hepple: Mysterio’s been delaying his surgery since pretty much the beginning of the year, so this situation should be predictable. Guerrero defeats Mysterio here and takes him out, Vickie forces him off, and then Guerrero spends the next few months Lying, Cheating, and Stealing – perhaps even feuding with Chris Benoit into No Mercy. Once Mysterio returns the feud is pretty much still on auto pilot. At least we know we’re not going to get anything terrible between these two, wrestling wise.
Winner – Chavo Guerrero

Will Cooling: Geeez talk about being careful for what you wish for, I’ve wanted to see Chavo get a proper chance in the upper mid-card for years and when he finally does its in this abomination. Awful, awful match which manages to surpass last year’s bad taste match (ironically Rey vs Eddie) for sheer repulsiveness. Still from a workrate point of view, should be a decent enough match as long as they don’t let the soap opera bullshit get in the way. Chavo will win to continue the feud.
Winner – Chavo Guerruro

Legend vs. Legend Killer
Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Orton

PK: A knee injury will give Hogan an excuse.
Winner – Orton

Widro: Hogan can barely move! I still don’t see him doing the job here.
Winner – Hogan

Eric Szulczewski: Hogan’s got his built-in excuse with the knee, so all’s well and good on that front. The result of this match all depends on what they have in mind for Wrestlemania. In the murky, distant future, I’m seeing a Black Hole Of Suck Match between Orton and Cena at WM, so it behooves Orton to win this one. But it sure won’t be clean.
Winner – Randy Orton

Matthew Michaels: I know WWE still wants to do Austin vs. Hogan at Mania, but something tells me the injury is a work, and Hogan has agreed to job to Orton here in exchange for getting his win back at Mania (or maybe SurSer? Whenever the next season of Hogan Knows Best is in need of some free promotion).
Winner – Randy Orton

Iain Burnside: “When it comes crashing down and it hurts to pee standing up…” “HEY!” Punch, slap, punch, slap, chinlock, Hulk-Up, waggable finger, Big Boot misses, RKO, Brookerference, “SWEEP THE LEG!”, um, I mean, DROP THE LEG, job to the past, future-boy.
Winner – Brutii Beefcake’s heterosexual life partner, HULK HOGAN

Grut: Hmmm. Nah. Hulkamania will never die, no matter how many times I stab it.
Winner – Hulk Hogan.

Steve Murray: Orton’s entire schtick (besides being an arrogant jerk) is his Legend Killer status. If he loses to Hogan, his character has absolutely nothing distinctive about him. Plus, knowing Hogan’s political sense, I believe the “injured knee” is just a ploy on his part to help excuse his loss in this match.
Winner – Randy Orton

Danny Wallace: Really looking forward to this match, just because I think it’ll be funny to see Hogan win again, and to see Orton’s momentum grind to a hault once more. I think this may suprise a few people and actually become a great match if Hogan is motivated enough. Time will tell I guess.
Winner – Hulk Hogan

Mark Neeley: On one side I don’t see Terry laying down, but on the other end, Hogan went over Shawn Michaels last SummerSlam, and Shawn certainly wasn’t a young up and coming stud like Orton is who he needed to put over. For those reasons, Orton wins.
Winner – Randy Orton

Vinny Truncellito: Now what’s the point of bringing in the part-time LEGEND Hulk Hogan if the guy with the LEGEND KILLER gimmick can’t beat him? I think Randy should ride off into the sunset with Brooke after she turns on her “dear old Dad” and costs him the bout.
Winner – Randy Orton

Troy Hepple: Now usually Hulk Hogan matches are interesting to see how he reacts with the stars of today. This is the one time I wish they cancelled a Hogan match because he isn’t in proper ring shape for the match. Orton defeats Hogan here which leas to a rematch at most probably WrestleMania.
Winner – Randy Orton

Will Cooling: There is no way in hell Hogan is doing the job here, and there’s even less chance that he’ll let his daughter turn on him (to be fair, I doubt her record label would be ecstatic about her playing a heel slut on TV). Its Hulk all the way baby!
Winner – Hogan

“I Quit” Match
Mick Foley vs. Ric Flair

PK: I think this will be the best match of the night. This feud has been the biggest highlight of Raw, and I’m thinking it doesn’t end here. Technically, Flair got the first one, so Foley gets this one.
Winner – Foley

Widro: The promos have been amazing heading into this, I wonder if they can back it up in the ring.
Winner – Flair

Eric Szulczewski: Who cares who wins? Just bring on the blood. Both have had I Quit matches that have reached the height of balletic brutality in the past, so they know what they’re doing. I think Foley’s savvy enough to be able to turn a loss (extended period in the Figure Four, which needs to be rebuilt as a devastating move) into a positive through his promo skills, so a Flair win would hurt neither man, and actually help both of them. So, yeah, I’ll go with the old man, with an over/under for both of them blading at two minutes.
Winner – Ric Flair

Matthew Michaels: Does Foley ever win?
Winner – Flair

Iain Burnside: Oldness and fatness collide!! Who wins!? Who possibly cares?? What possible benefit is this going to have on anybody on Raw since Flair’s nothing but a joke these days and Foley is supposedly retired whilst eating his way to Marlon Brando levels of wheeziness?! Why do I keep asking questions… I do not know… Put it this way – I started watching wrestling in 1988. Had the most interesting promos at that time been based around off-screen events from 1976, I’d have lost interest rapidly and saved myself a lot of hassle. Hopefully it ends here. Nosh, nosh, nosh.
Winner – the guy that gets mistaken for Leslie Nielsen all the time, RIC FLAIR

Grut: This will either be the best match of the night or the saddest match of the night. Probably both. It sucks that Mick is the villain in this feud and never once got to say that Flair did to him what Bischoff did to Flair. The difference is that Foley spent half a chapter talking about Flair screwing him while Bischoff’s evilness took up half of Flair’s book.
Winner – Flair

Steve Murray: While I love the concept of “I Quit” matches, they are severely handicapped by the fact that the heel simply has to lose, unless there is some serious shenanigans (e.g. Foley/Rock). But with these two, the winner is totally irrelevant – we simply want to see how much damage these two will do to each other and themselves.
Winner – Ric Flair

Danny Wallace: The match I’m most looking forward to on the card, no doubt. The build up has been simply awesome, and although both men are past their prime, I’m confident we’ll see a classic from the two. Not sure who will win though, but my gut is saying Flair.
Winner – Ric Flair

Mark Neeley: I’m not going to sit here and bullshit on “why this could go one way or the other,” because I really have no idea who they’re going to have win it. Let’s see it’s a surprise and Foley takes it.
Winner – Mic Foley

Vinny Truncellito: Flair got the duke last time they met on ppv, and Foley IS the King of Hardcore. Still, Flair had a classic I Quit match once, about 20 or so years ago. Decisions, decisions…
Winner – Mick Foley

Troy Hepple: I keep having the feeling that they’re going to have Ric Flair challenge for the Championship, and a feud between Flair and Edge for the Title over who beat Foley worse in their respective matches pretty much writes itself. However neither of these guys need to be put ‘over’ by the other and Foley’s yet to get a victory over Flair .. oh well, hopefully there’ll be another match between these two for Foley to win.
Winner – Ric Flair

Will Cooling: To be honest, as good as the promos have been in this feud (worth desperately searching youtube for anyway) they’ve really got the roles back-to-front; Flair so should’ve been the heel. Anyway…Foley can still bring it when he’s properly prepared and Flair can carry his end against the right opponent so this could be a decent enough match, I doubt it will be though. God knows who will win, although if Foley were to quit to Flair it would be such a waste (I mean to make Foley quit would instantly get someone like Umaga over as a monster). I think we may get something of a cop-out finish with Flair quitting when he realises he’s became exactly what he hates…a hardcore wrestler.
Winner – Foley

Tag Team Match
D-Generation X vs. The McMahons

PK: Please, dear God, please end this now. I am SO tired of Vince McMahon on TV. The only real question is, where does DX go from here?
Winners – DX

Widro: What a boring angle. Umaga interference? One would think DX wins, but I could see some kind of big angle/swerve to keep it going even longer
Winners – DX

Eric Szulczewski: Does any result other than DX winning make sense? Well, yes, it does in a sense. We all know Michaels needs time off, but that can be accomplished without him taking the pinfall (and if DX does lose, it will be Michaels who takes the pinfall). It could also be done in the apres courtesy of a Jamalga run-in after the match. So, now that the counterproposal has been shot down, let’s just go with the gut feeling.
Winners – DX

Matthew Michaels: I not only think DX is going over; I think this will be the LAST MATCH on the card. Only question is: does Steph get involved? No, seriously.
Winners – Hunter and Shawn

Iain Burnside: Is this worse than Stallone making Rocky VI or Ford wanting to do Indy 4? Or carrying on Star Trek beyond Patrick Stewart? Or any episode of The Simpsons from the past eight years? At least none of them ran the risk of an Umaga run-in. I guess they’ve beaten the dead horse enough now, they might as well just let him eat it. I blame Hatton. Him and his sexy ways. He’s too sexy for his shirt. Too sexy for his shirt. So sex-ay it hu-urrrts…
Winners – those zany European Title loving unfreshmen, DX.

Grut: Is Shawn getting the knee surgery anytime in the next 50 years? Ah, screw it! TOGA! TOGA! Get those evil deans DX! Deans don’t know how to party! YEAH!
Winners – The Evil Deans (McMahons)

Steve Murray: This is a forgone conclusion. Shane will be involved in a random big spot, Vince will take the fall, and HHH gets the pin.
Winner – D-X

Danny Wallace: I think the DX thing has JUST started to get a little boring, so wrapping this up here would be a good way to end things. It won’t be a classic, but it’ll provide for some fun those of us who remember DX in their prime, and for those fans who are experiencing DX for the first time.
Winner – DX

Mark Neeley: It seems like this match has been made every RAW for the fast two months, and nothing ever happens. The feud just still keeps going. As long as this feud is finally dead and put in the books, I will be happy. But really, unless they have some twisted idea to keep this feud GOING EVEN LONGER, DX has to finally get the win and bury it, so Shawn can go to the hospital room and HHH will be back to his normal booking self.
Winners – DX

Vinny Truncellito: Is this feud STILL going on? This has to be the blow-off, and even Vince won’t put himself over two of his biggest stars (especially since HBK just signed a huge new 5-year deal, and HHH is his son-in-law) in the blow-off to the feud.
Winner – The Original D-Generation X

Troy Hepple: DX. Duh.
Winner – DX

Will Cooling: Another no-brainer with DX defeating the McMahons to end this enjoyably retro/annoyingly outdated feud and hopefully pave the way for Dusty Rhodes to become new RAW GM. The only possible way that The McMahons could win this would be for HHH to turn on Shawn and reveal it to be “a set up along” possibly as a prelude to reunite HHH with Steph on screen. Thankfully that’s highly unlikely to happen because the last thing the world needs is yet another HHH/Shawn match. Although if they can’t convince one of them to deign Smackdown with their presence then in the long term it’s the only logical conclusion of this angle. Sigh.
Winners – DX

ECW World Heavyweight Championship
Champion The Big Show vs. Sabu

PK: Will Sabu become the 3rd ECW Champion since it’s reincarnation? I highly doubt it, but you can expect him to miss 1/2 of his spots.
Winner – Big Show

Widro: I don’t think they will do the title switch here.
Winner – Big Show

Eric Szulczewski: Ratings have been great on Sci-Lie. The storylines have been improving. It’s time for ECW to start standing on their own two feet. There’s only one good way to do that. However, I don’t think the title will change, because I don’t see Sabu beating TBS without the match being Extreme Rules, and it hasn’t been announced as such. So I’m going to equivocate here.
Winner – Sabu if it’s Extreme Rules, TBS if it’s not

Matthew Michaels: They’re building to RVD getting his revenge on Show, so I feel like there’s no reason to take the belt off of him just yet.
Winner – Big Show

Iain Burnside: I’m a model, ya know what I mean, and I do my l’il turn on the catwalk, on the catwalk, yeah, on the catwalk, I shake my l’il tush on the catwalk… Seriously, I need to stop that. CAMP LIKE A FOX.
Winner – the Colonel’s preferred customer, THE BIG SHOW

Grut: It’d make sense to put the title on Sabu, but an ECW original isn’t getting that belt until we’re convinced that Kurt Angle is an ECW original. Vince loves taking over organizations and main eventing them with WWE wrestlers. (See Steve Austin in WCW)
Winner – Big Show

Steve Murray: Heyman is enjoying pissing off the old ECW smarks way too much to give up now. It’ll never be a clean win, but I can’t wait to see how many bumps Sabu is willing to go through.
Winner – The Big Show

Danny Wallace: There’ll be blown spots a plenty, but this should be a great, brutal match. Nothing more to say really.
Winner – Big Show

Mark Neeley: Uh … well … I don’t know. At first I could see the ECW veteran in Sabu finally taking the title off Big Slow, but then again I see RVD once he gets off injuries to win the title back. Sure, having Sabu win it and then setting up Sabu-RVD would be the best choice, but Slow won’t do the job here.
Winner – Big Slow

Vinny Truncellito: Big Show has taken to spitting on fans in the crowd. Think the “pressure” of being the flag-bearer for the fledgling ECW has gotten to him? Still, I can’t see Vince putting a belt on Sabu, so Big Show will retain, somehow.
Winner – Big Show

Troy Hepple: I don’t know my ECW all too well so I’ll just say that Big Show defeats Sabu in a probably not above average match.
Winner – The Big Show

Will Cooling: ECW has a December PPV. That’ll be when Rob Van Dam gets his title back. Sabu isn’t going to get anywhere near it on Sunday. Still should be a fun little match if Show can channel the spirit of Abyss.
Winner – Big Show

World Heavyweight Championship
Champion King Booker vs. Batista

PK: I really, really do not like Batista, and I think he’s going to need to fight a lot hard to get his title back. Booker T deserves this reign, he’s been on top of his game since his heel turn last winter, and, for Christ-sake, he jobbed to the Boogeyman.
Winner – Booker T

Widro: The build this SmackDown sounds good, otherwise not a lot of buildout. Big Dave gets the title soon but it needs more build.
Winner – Booker T

Eric Szulczewski: Booker is having an incredible run with the title. I don’t think that anyone can deny that. Of course, I’ve been saying for the last three years that WWE should give him a run with the belt, so I knew he was capable of something like this. That being said, I’m split on whether or not they’re going to let him continue. The print and display ads for the CW transition all have DAVE’s picture on them, so he’s obviously the center of the promotional effort. There’s some pressure there to make him standard-bearer going into the CW premiere of Smackdown. That being said, it’s definitely too soon to take the belt off Booker. They can get a couple of more months out of this and do the switch at Survivor Series. Expect Paisley-ference and a Finlay/Regal run-in to “protect” DAVE.
Winner – Booker T

Matthew Michaels: I think Booker T SHOULD win, but I don’t have faith in WWE.
Winner – Batista

Iain Burnside: Did they actually give any on-screen reason for these two guys fighting? I mean, last time I paid attention, Kennedy was the #1 contender. Thankfully I’m sure that even those in the know about their backstage friction could quite happily let them flesh out the feud for another couple of months. King Booker’s in no danger of jumping sharks just yet, and there’s no particular reason to rush everything back to the All About DAVE status quo. So.
Winner – no, not Bono, it’s KING BOOKER

Grut: There’s only one way this one can end. Please let there be only one way this one can end.
Winner – Batista by dq.

Steve Murray: Due to my guess on the next match, and my thought that the King Booker run is going even better than anyone expected, and my belief that Batista is much more enjoyable chasing the champion than being one – I’m going with the ending that allows this feud goes at least another month or two.
Winner – King Booker

Danny Wallace: King Booker to win by interference from the Kings Court (if it still exists anymore). Failing that, just a run in from Kennedy or somebody. If they want this to last until Survivor Series then a screw-job ending is the only way to go. It’ll be interesting to see if they can work together following that supposed fight they both had a while back, but both men, especially Booker, are pro’s so it shouldn’t affect either men. I’ll be watching Booker carefully though, as I want to see how much he sells for Batista.
Winner – King Booker

Mark Neeley: This “feud” has been too short, rushed, and thrown together just so there was a SmackDown title match on the SummerSlam card. I have said from the beginning that either Booker or DAVE will get DQ’ed to further push the feud, similar to how the DAVE-JBL feud played out. The feud continues, DAVE doesn’t win the title just yet.
Winner – Booker T (DQ)

Vinny Truncellito: I know popular opinion is that Batista will stroll back in and grab the belt off the shoulder of whomever is holding it for him, but hasn’t Booker been damn entertaining as King of the World? I’m gonna’ go with the dark horse pick here and hope they extend Batista’s chase a bit to make it mean more, while allowing Booker extra time to shine. If Batista DOES win, it’ll be by DQ, so the title won’t change hands here.
Winner – King Booker

Troy Hepple: If Batista is set to become the Champion this early into his return then it’ll happen at No Mercy. And the real money match for Batista to regain the title will be at WrestleMania. The real question is when this match will occur. Opening match, or second?
Winner – King Booker

Will Cooling: Why oh why did they throw away Dave’s perfectly acceptable mini-feud with Kennedy to rush this title match? Still the complete lack of build up to this match and the obvious benefits of holding the title change for Smackdown’s CW premiere will give Booker another month as the champ. So King Booker retains either by a screw job victory or possibly Batista only managing a DQ victory.
Winner – King Booker

WWE Championship
Title Changes Hands on Pinfall, Submission or DQ
Champion Edge vs. John Cena

PK: With the next PPV, Unforgiven, taking place in Toronto, look for Edge to beat Cena in his hometown, only to have Cena finally take the title back in Edge’s hometown.
Winner – Edge

Widro: I think Cena gets the duke in his hometown (area).
Winner – Cena

Eric Szulczewski: Well, they’ve kinda spoiled it. We know there will be a TLC rematch next month. The question becomes whether or not they try to make the Bos-tards happy by giving their hometown boy the strap again (and then switch it next month in Edge’s hometown). With a heel winning the other co-main, it’s a temptation to do the swap. However, if that happens, it shows that they have no trust in Edge at the top, despite the fact that he’s been busting his ass to make this work. No, no belt swap here, and it’s so easy to do. All they have to do is have Lita ballshot Edge right in front of the ref for the DQ. That’ll give Cena the umbrage and the excuse to ask for the rematch.
Winner – Edge, probably by DQ

Matthew Michaels: Edge wins in Boston, Cena wins next month in Toronto? Yep.
Winner – Edge

Iain Burnside: DUS-TY FIN-ISH! *clap*clap*clapclapclap* DUS-TY FIN-ISH! *clap*clap*clapclapclap* DUS-TY FIN-ISH! *clap*clap*clapclapclap*
Winner – Bull Buchanan’s significant other, JOHN CENA (briefly)

Grut: Odd build up for this one. Usually there are a bunch of matches prior where the challenger wins by countout or DQ. What-EV. I think you send the fans home happy here (at least fifty percent of them anyway).
Winner – Jon Cena

Steve Murray: I’ve actually enjoy Edge’s run. I’m not looking forward to seeing it end already. But in Cena’s hometown, as the final match of the PPV? Over/under on the number of “If Edge Wins, We Riot” signs: 6.
Winner – John Cena

Danny Wallace: It’s nice to see a new stipulation being used to further the feud, but it won’t end here. With rumors about a TLC match between the two, that sounds to me like a blow-off match. Who wins here though is anybodys guess, but I’ll say Edge because I don’t think it’s time for another Cena title run just yet.
Winner – Edge

Mark Neeley: We all know the rumors … Cena wins it in Boston, Edge wins it back next month in a TLC match in Toronto. Eh … I guess I’ll take that and run with it. I don’t see how Edge will be able to pull off a defense with the no DQ thing, so oh well.
Winner – Cena (well, at least it might only be for a month this time)

Vinny Truncellito: No doubt, Cena gets his bling back here.
Winner – John “The Marine” Cena

Troy Hepple: The ever so obvious set up for their rematch at Unforgiven .. if they’re going to have John Cena regain the Championship then, to me, it would make much more sense to lengthen the chase for Cena if not have Edge and Lita lose both their respective Championships on the same night at Unforgiven. Which of course means that Cena regains the title here, but by dusty finish DQ. Ref bump, Lita gets F-U’ed, Edge uses weapon and gets the three count until some other referee or instant replay reverses the decision.
Winner – John Cena

Will Cooling: Firstly, they’re showing an awful lot of faith in these guys to add the “Title Changes Hands on a DQ” stipulation. I mean that’s okay when you have AAA wrestlers in the ring but both of these guys (particularly Cena) have a tendency to rely on weapons and other HARDCORE shortcomings. Secondly, they’re making absolutely no sense giving this match that stipulation, I mean it’s an okay stipulation if you’ve got a heel challenging for the title but there’s no way a face can win on such a cheap finish. So that leads to only one possible conclusion, that they’re going to use the Fully Loaded 2000 finish with Edge tricking the referee into disqualifying Cena only for that decision to be reversed and the match restarted with Cena then getting the duke.
Winner – John Cena at the second attempt.

Stay tuned to this weeks Alternate Reality by Vin Tastic for the results of this week’s roundtable, and see who the King of IP is!

I like Comics, Wrestling, Super Mario Bros & Dead Space. Oh ya, and Scott Pilgrim.