..oh shut up..
NO IT’S NOT!
IT’S ANOTHER PAY PER VIEW,
BUT POSSIBLY A GOOD ONE!
WELCOME TO…
R A B B L E S L A M ! ! !
A long time ago, there were only four PPVs… well technically, a long time ago there were no pay per views, but for the most part the three ages of PPVs goes:
ONE – Wrestlemania
FOUR – Wrestlemania, Summerslam, Royal Rumble, Survivor Series
THREE THOUSAND
Summerslam is supposed to be the time where the final refuse of the Wrestlemania storylines is cast off. Where feuds that began right after Wrestlemania come to a head, and where new storylines are born. Summerslam is a tradition. Summerslam hasn’t been that in at least half a decade, and I’m just deluding myself by believing it might be something it’s not.
Ah well, memories…
Anyway – let’s get to the Rabbletastic compatriots who are all sitting around and enjoying pizza, soda, and the finest prowrestling that the WWE can offer.
BILL – JENNA – HERNANDEZ – JIMMY – VAL – MICHAEL – ME!
The show starts with telling us that Summerslam has been going on for 19 years! NINETEEN YEARS.. Oh frig… I remember the first one…
Oy… the only person who was at Summerslam 1998 and Summerslam 2006 both is Hulk Hogan – creepy.
Starting the show though, from world champ to curtain jerker is Rey Mysterio.
“He’s curtain jerking… for Eddie.” – Me
They give us a flashback scene of Rey & Eddie’s friendship.
“Was this last week?” – Me
“Yes, that’s the infamous.. Eddie-Bot.” – Bill
“EDDIE BOT DOES IT FOR EVVVERYBODYYYYY” – Me
Here comes Chavo!
“Kerwin White’s here?!” – Me
“I hope this is the last bit they are squeezing out of Eddie’s name…” – Hernandez
“Like blood from a stone.” – Hernandez
“Or from a tamale!” – Me
So apparently this is Chavo coming out of retirement for tonight only…. surrrre.
So Guerrero gets in the ring and the bell rings as they go right after each other.
CHAVO GUERRERO vs. REYREY
I should smoke now.. but I feel I should watch
Rey throws Chavo to the ropes and hits the back elbow. Rey goes to pick him up but gets a punch to the face to drop him. Back to their feet again, Rey hits him to the ropes – Chavo reverses, and Rey moonsaults onto Chavo – caught on his shoulder, but then hiptossed RIGHT out of the ring.
Rey then goes and hits the baseball slide on Chavo, then a plancha off the top is missed as Chavo slides back into the ring. Chavo then HITS his top rope leap onto Rey.
“So if there is cheating.. Chavo wins, right?” – Jenna
“Right.” – Hernandez
“So if Chavo cheats.. doesn’t that mean he’s living up to the legacy of Eddie more?” – Me
Rey in the ring now trying to kick out Chavo’s leg. Finally Chavo throws Rey to the corner – Rey leaps up and is caught by Chavo and then slammed down into the corner. A sidesuplex and now Chavo is on top of it with kicks and stomps. A few Eddie taunts.
“Sooo Chavo’s the heel…. I think.” – Bill
So Chavo hits Rey, and his mask seems to slip off – but Rey charges out to fix it and Chavo runs back to hit him. That might be foretelling if the mask is loose….
Back in the ring, they fight on the apron, and Chavo hits him on the top turnbuckle. Chavo climbs up to the top – and they are fighting on it corner to corner. Is going to powerbomb him to the railing? No – Rey fights to the top… They are fighting it out up there, and they leap and both go face first to the mat in a straaaaange spot.
Rey gets to his feet first – and picks up CHavo – they fight it out, and Rey hits the roeps with the flying cross for two. They fight to their feet yet again, and Chavo just powers Rey down with a clothesline. Throws Rey to the ropes and a droptoe and a pin for two.
Rey gets thrown into the corner again, but eats another elbow. Rey climbs, but Chavo follows him and climbs up to the top – Rey elbows him down to the mat. Rey leaps and lands on Chavo’s, flying scissors drops Chavo onto the 2nd rope – 619! He misses the West Coast Pop – but Rey leaps to Chavo again and a hurricanrana spins both of them out of the ring! Nice spot there.
Chavo throws Rey into the ring as Eddie’s widow gets down to the ring and she begins fighting it out with Chavo yelling and such. Finally she slaps Chavo and as Chavo looks like he might go back at her – Rey leaps out of the ring and DROPS him. Now she is yelling at Rey as he climbs the apron. Chavo grabs him for the THREE AMIGO SUPLEXES….
On the 3rd – Rey gets out behind, hits the ropes and rana drops Chavo – Now REY hits HIS OWN THREE AMIGOS….HITS ALL THREE. The crowd is livid with booing, it’s actually pretty intense. Rey goes up to the top and Vicky grabs the rope, spilling Rey off the top turnbuckle!
Chavo hits a brainbuster – hits the FrogSplash! Chavo wins it!
WINNER: CHAVO GUERRERO
“Vicky Guerrero – the wrong place at the wrong time…” – Cole
“WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!?” – Me
“It means she ended up in the wrong state, in some arena, saw Chavo and Rey, remembered her Tequila and here she is..” – Hernandez
“Are you insinuating that Vicky Guerrero is a blackout drunk?” – Bill
In the back King Booker talks to Queen Charmel – and the over the top KING bit from Books is hysterical. Booker says he and Charmel shall be the most powerful couple in sports entertainment. Edge and Lita interrupt, and are referred to as a rogue, a squire, and this cracks me up.
Edge feels he and Lita are the most powerful couple in the WWE. So Booker offers them a wager (pronounced: way-zhure) – whomever holds onto their title, the other one comes to their show and either has to kiss their feet or act as their servant.
We get a replay of the ECW – Sabu/RVD from this past week… and it’s ECW time.
The challenger:
“THE CHAIR – ACCOMPANIED BY SABU!” – Hernandez
And Heyyyyyyy It’s the Big SHow!
BIG SHOW vs. SABU
Did you ever imagine to see THAT on a WWE PPV?
Sabu runs in hits the chair to Show’s gut, head, legdrop. Sets up the chair across Show – then Show trips him face first onto it and now Show stomps the chair dead.
“What did it ever do to you!?” – Me
Show manhandles Sabu for a bit.. a bodyslam..a bearhug. Sabu in turn, bites Show’s nose- and then springboards into Show’s arms to eat a fallaway slam throws Sabu out of the ring.
“Why do people do that!?” – Bill
“That’s the right off!” – Hernandez
So Show tries to bring Sabu into the ring, and he chokes him against the top rope, then throws a chair into Show’s face… goes into the ring and does it again! Now he hits the top rope and the leap chairkick. Sabu heads out again and grabs a table! He sets it into the corner.
As Sabu turns to grab Show – he gets a hand on the throat – a thumb to the eye and he runs to the corner – BULLDOG! He gets in the ring as Show gets to his feet – runs – leaps off the chair in the middle of the ring and bulldog THROUGH the table.
“Doesn’t Show look like a Snorlax?” – Hernandez
Show gets to his feet – and Sabu leaps onto Show’s shoulders, but Show falls back and drops him hard. Show now climbs to the top rope…..
“You better get an OH MY GOD ready..” – Tazz
HITS A SPLASH! Now both men leave the ring, and Show is searching for something… instead he just grabs the steps and throws em on in…. a table gets tossed in – and Show sets the tables between the steps.
“Building with Big Show!” – Bill
So this spot takes forever to set-up.. Sabu runs across and screws up the tables so he has to STOP TO FIX THEM before grabbing Show and hitting a DDT…. wow.. eesh.. So Sabu sets up another table! He goes to grab Show to do it again, but he gets chokeslammed right on through it and THAT – IS – THAT.
WINNER: BIG SHOW
On a note – Scary Spice won. The Rabble is 3 for 3.
So Scary Spice goes into the back and wants to talk to the divas… and GOOD MOTHERFUCKING GOD!!!! MARIA LOOKS SO AWESOME… Oh…. other stuff going on. They ignore her. Then they shower her. Maria looks good.
We get the flashback on Hogan/Orton.
“Didn’t he retire?” – Jimmy
“Thousands of times.” – Me
“It’s like Jean Grey dying.. so many times, it’s silly.” – Michael
“HEY!” – Bill
“SAY!” – Me
“FLAY!” – Michael
“DELAY!” – Jimmy
“CROCHET!” – Me
“FLAMBEE” – Michael
Okay… so Orton gets into the ring. And here comes Hogan.
“He’s all boa!” – Jenna
“All the time!” – Me
ORTON vs. HOGAN
Match Three? Top Heavy Card… you’re soaking in it!
“The crowd is chanting Ganho Ganho, whatever THAT means..” – Michael
Bell rings. They lock up and Hogan throws Orton to the corner for a pose.
Lock-up – side headlock from Orton. Hogan goes to a knee. Hogan gets to his feet and throws Orton for the shoulderblock to drop Orton. Another side headlock from Orton. The crowd is blinded by Hogan’s baldness. Hogan powers out of it and drops Orton.
Orton kicks Hogan in the gut and now beats his back and now kicks him down, stomps on him. Picks up Hogan and tries to headslam him to the turnbuckle. Hogan says NO.. duh! He gives a crotch chop??? Then hits the ten hits and bites Orton – pokes him in the eye – and proves he’s a good guy!
Hogan throws Orton to the ropes and hits a clothesline, then face stretches Orton – beats him in the skull… Orton hanging on the second rope.
“And Hogan gets ready for the 619” – Bill
Backscratch to Orton. Some more headpunches. The ref tries to stop him and Hogan asks him to please shut the hell up. Hogan picks up Orton – throws him to the ropes, and Orton bails before he gets hit. Orton grabs Hogan’s leg, and pulls him out and now beats down on Hulk’s leg. Randy comes on in now and continues to reak havok on Hogan’s leg. Clips his leg. Slow Slow Slow.
Orton climbs the top rope – long pause – leap – MISSES and now both men are on the floor, but Hogan is starting to Hulk up!
Orton hits – BLOCKED. Tosses him to the ropes – Hogan boots and Orton ducks and hits his own dropkick. Now Orton is setting up for the RKO.
“ORTON’S THINKING RKO!” – JR
“Hogan’s thinking Arbys” – Jenna
So Randy HITS the RKO! And on two – Hogan’s leg goes on the rope! OH MY!!! Lillian announces the match must go on. Randy goes after the ref… then after Hulk.
“RANDY HATE FREDDIE PRINZ JUNIOR!” – Bill
Now Hulk Hulk’s up for REAL. Hogan gets the three fists. The Boot. He asks the crowd if it’s ok. Then legdrops Orton for three.
“Creative Control Card..” – Hernandez
“Hogan… I’m so gonna shit in your bag..” – Bill
We get lots of Hogan preening..
WINNER: HOGAN
Hogan holds up his WEIGHT belt…….
“Hogan, you aren’t a champion anymore.. this is so sad” – Me
“So now you can get that on WWESHOP.COM 19.95 – and you get the Hogan Egg-Slicer” – Bill
Mick’s in the back – and gets hugged by Mileena. They have a talk about Ric Flair.
It’s time for the I Quit match!
Here comes Mick with a garbage can.
“Mister Canno?” – Michael
“WOOO?” – Bill
RIC FLAIR vs. MICK FOLEY
What makes the grass grow?
So Flair gets in the ring and Foley runs after him and punches him a bunch.
“Bleeding already?” – Bill
“No he’s just rubbing him really hard” – Jimmy
“Yeah, opening up with a handful of q-tips and cottonballs” – Michael
So Foley throws the can at him and now puts on Mr Socko. He hits the mandible! Foley gets the mic and asks Ric to say the words.
“I love you sparticus” – Jimmy
Mick wraps the sock in barbedwire and as he’s going to attack Flair, Ric grabs hits nuts and now Flair goes and punches the hell out of Mick and takes the barbedwire sock and puts it on his OWN hand.
“OW OW OW OW!” – Hernandez
“Why do you DO This Mick.. this HURTS” – Michael
So now Flair chops the hell out of Foley with the barbedwire sock – at least he’s being creative. Foley bails out of the ring and Flair follows him out and hurls Foley into the stairs. Foley takes a moment to reassess and goes under the ring to grab a board covered in wire. He throws it against Flair and throws it into the ring… now Flair’s bleeding.
Foley brings Ric back into the ring and beats him around the ring. Clotheslines him with the barbedwire board again, and Ric’s bloody all over the place. Now drops it onto Flair.
“Ric – do something other than fall over and get punctured.” – Bill
Mick gives Flair the mic.
“ROSEBUD WAS A SLED” – Michael
Ric says to kiss his ass and Foley grabs the bag of thumbtacks. Pours them around the ring.. sprinkles them daintily… Foley grabs Flair up… bodyslammmm DOES HE.. YES HE GETS IT! FLAIR IS COATED IN THUMBTACKS!
Mick gives him the mic again.. “IIIiiiii IIIiiii…”
“He’s trying to say it… he just CAN’T..” – Hernandez
Now Mick grabs the barbedwire bat and rubs it against his face…. but Flair out of nowhere finally nut shots him! Flair grabs the bat and now hits Foley with it.
“Foley recognizing that this actually hurts…” – Val
“I feel bad for what I’ve done for all these years..” – Me
Ric continues to beat him down with the bat and gives ANOTHER nutshot asking Mick to quit, but of course he says no. Mick stands on the apron as Ric runs to the ropes and CHARGES Foley with the bat – sending Mick to the outside. Mean spot really… the refs and doctors come on out with Mileena…. and they are calling that Foley is knocked out.
Flair grabs the mic. “This isn’t a lay down on your ass match. This is an I Quit match!”
“This isn’t scripted.. Ric has finally gone crazy…” – Bill
So Foley gets thrown back in the ring… he rolls THROUGH the tacks, across the barbed wire bat which sticks to him… and his head is gushing now. Ric asks if he’s had enough yet, but never gives him the chance to answer!
Mileena standing on the outside throws in the towel and screams ‘HE QUITS’.
They are about to ring the bell AGAIN.. and Flair grabs the mic, “SHE DOES NOT QUIT FOR HIM!” …apparently the match DOES not end…
Flair rolls out – grabs the barbedwire bat again, rolls back on in and is charging after Mileena and Foley and MICK QUITS!!!! MICK QUITS TO STOP FLAIR FROM HITTING MILEENA!
WINNER: RIC FLAIR!
In the ring Mick is bleeding and his arm is sliced up.
“He looks like an emo kid.” – Me
Here comes King Booker. All Hail King Booker.
“After hearing that so many times I want to take his stick and beat HER with it” – Val
“Wait.. what is she saying..” – Michael
“All Hail Ki–” – Me
“I know, shut up.” – Michael
BOOKER T vs. BATISTA
All Hail.. WE GET IT!
Hey, champ came out first.. not a good sign. HErrrreee comes Batista. Dani is not with us, so I will be upset for her that he is not wearing a suit.
“Everytime I see him, I think he’s the lead singer of Godsmack..” – Val
“I’m not the one whoooos so farrr awaaaaaaay” – Me & Michael
So they fight to the corner and Booker slaps Batista. Dave just slaps him to the mat.
Booker punches on Dave – leaps all over him, but gets caught up and powerslammed down. So Booker bails, but Dave follows after him and throws him into the ring. Booker hits a back kick and a chop or two. He throws Dave to the ropes, but is denied and picked up and DROPPED. Dave gives the thumbs up signn… he puts Booker between his legs for the Dave Bomb – but Booker bails and then chokes Dave against the ropes.
Booker gets back in the ropes and gets slingshotted onto the top rope and brought down into a headlock.
“Yourr dreadlocks smell like… cocoa butter.” – Me
“Soul Glow?” – Hernandez
Dave fights up to his feet, and then gets a few knees to the head.. six to be precise. Book goes to throw Dave to the corner, but is irish whipped by Dave – and then brought down with a belly to belly for two. Dave grabs Book’s leg, but Booker kicks him in the face with the free leg and heads to the outside.
Dave bends through the ropes to reach Booker, but with the ref distracted he WHAPS him with the sceptor. A little beatdown later he rolls him into the ring and pins him for TWO.
“Shades of Macho King on Warrior at Royal Rumble..” – Me
“Also Triple H after he was King Of The Ring..” – Hernandez
“So being King.. means..” – Me
“..you get to hit people with the sceptor” – Hernandez
So Booker continues to beat the hell out of Dave. He has Dave against the ropes and goes for the ax kick, but gets caught up on the ropes as Dave ducks. Dave then grabs him and throws him on the ropes again. He hits a clothesline, and then hits a sideslam for two.
“An EXPLOSIVE clothesline” – Cole
“How cool would it be to HAVE an explosive clothesline?!” – Michael
Booker bails outside, and as Dave tries to follow him, he gets tossed into the stairs. Book throws Dave in. Hits the top turnbuckle and a MISSLE dropkick. Pins for two. Booky hits the Bookend for another two. He goes and misses the scissor kick as Dave steps back.
Batista grabs him and hits a JACKHAMMER?!?!?!? For two.
“HE did Goldberg’s move?” – Hernandez
“Goldberg had a move?” – Michael
Dave charges Booker in the corner – but Book ducks under and hits a reverse neckbreaker for two. Dave gets to his feet now – Book charges in, but Dave now goes grabs him into a full-nelson… FullNelson SLAM!
In runs Charmel – And THAT THAT THAT SUCKED! DQ…
WINNER: BATISTA via DQ
So Booker goes to run and hit the axe kick again! Dave once again ducks, catches him and goes for the Dave-Bomb, but doesn’t get Booker up well enough and it’s only through Booker sitting up QUICK does it get saved as he drops him.
“Whooose the champ? …SHO NUFF!” – Me
Now a commercial for —
“WHO’S THAT?!” – Hernandez
“DAVE NAVARRO!” – Michael
— Jeff Hardy.
So DX is talking in the Men’s Locker Room and they seem to have enraged SOMEONE…
Now we get the set-up for DX vs. THE MCMAHONS.
ARE YOU REAAAADDYYYY!?
Well you better get ready…
To Bow To the Masters…
“So does Triple H pick the outfits, because god knows Shawn can’t dress himself” – Val
“Ya know, they always get ready to suck it.. yet they never do…” – Michael
DEGENERATION X vs. THE MCMAHONS
HERE COMES THE MONNNEYYYY………….
And sadly, Dani doesn’t get to see Shane come on it.
Now ince comes on out – and they introduce the SPIRIT SQUAD!
So the Spirit Squad run on in using the trampopoline – they get beatdown quickly. One of them even gets pedigreed.
So now – who… KENNEDY?! WILLIAM REGAL!? FINLEY!! Trips beats down Regal, Shawn beats down Kennedy… Finley takes down Shawn though! Now as Trips drops Regal, he saves Shawn! Kennedy takes up the slack and Trips pulls him off. They all get tossed!
Trips points down to Vince, they want him now.
HEY IT’S THE BIG SHOW! Shawn charges at Show as he tries to enter, and the Smackdown guys pull out Trips and beat the hell out of him as Show beats down Shawn.
Headbutt from Show. Hits the chokeslam backbreaker…. and Shawn dies. Show drops a leg on Shawn and heads on out to the outside as the Smackdown guys are beating on Trips. They pick up Hunter and Show punches him in the face and he gets chokeslamed him down to the table.
So who is coming out for DX?
“Highlanders?” – Me
“Kane?” – Bill
“Viscera?” – Hernandez
“Junkyard Dog?” – Michael
“Cloacus?” – Hernandez
Okay – so Show rolls them in and the match begins! Vince slams down Shawn. Tag to Shane and he punches Shawn down a bit. Tag to Vince. Another clothesline from Vince, badly done. Now they choke Shawn in the corner. Ref gets distracted and SHANE chokes out Shawn for a bit. They hit a double back elbow. Shane now continues to elbow and kick down Michaels. He takes a brief moment to slide out of the ring and kick Trips.
He gets in and hits the reverse backbreaker on Shawn – double suplex with Vince. They lock arms and drop the double elbow. Shane baseball slides Trips RIGHT onto Jim Ross…
Fun!
Vince sets Shawn on his knee and Shane hits the elbow off the top rope AND JIM ROSS REFERENCES DEMOLITION!!!!!
“HERE COMES THE AAAAXXXXXX – Maybe DX was talking to Barry Darsaw.” – Me
Now Vince and Shane do the super clothesline ala The Hart Foundation. Shane even does the Bret Hart strut… this is good… now Vince sets Shawn up on his shoulders and Shane hits the DOOMSDAY DEVICE!
“DO THE DOUBLE FISTDROP!” – Me
Shane finally goes for a pin.. NO!
“So they are saying those tag teams are shit?” – Hernandez
“Nooo, it’s just Vince and Shane don’t have the precision..” – Me
Shawn kicks up! Now they go fist to fist! Vince runs in and double axes Shawn to stop the beatdown. Shawn hits Vince and now all three fall to the mat. Triple finally climbs into the ring as Shane gets to his feet and gets kicked in the face in exchange. Shawn tags in Tripsssssss and CLEAR HOUSE!
“He got into the ring and his power awakened.. GRAYSKULL!” – Bill
“He’s been hitting select for the last half hour.” – Hernandez
Vince hits the highknee! Hits the spinebuster! Slams down Vince! Shawn goes to the top turnbuckle and HITS THE BIG ELBOW! Shawn then clotheslines Shane outside the ring…. Trips is going to set Vince up in the Pedigree and here comes Umaga!
Umaga boots Shawn. Thumbs Trips. Thumbs Shawn. BOOOOOOOM! HERE COMES KANE!
“May 10…9th??? WHATEVER” – ME
“..19th.” – Bill
Kane grabs Umaga and drags him to the back. In the ring Vince covers Trips for TWO!
Vince clocks the ref. Just cuz really. In the ring, Trips is about to get to his feet as Shane gets in and Vince continues to kick the ref out of the ring. Shane goes and gets a trashcan and sets it up on Trips face.
Shane goes to the top – Leaps – AND OUT OF NOWHERE HE EATS SHAWN’S BOOT! FANFRIGGINGTASTIC CAMERA ANGLE! Trips gets up as Shawn kicks Vince… Trips Pedigrees him! That’s It!
WINNERS: DEGENERATION X
Shawn and Trips hug in the ring and it looks like Shawn hurt his leg. On the replay, they show the superkick on Shane again, and THAT is where Shawn hurt his leg… yep.. awesome spot.
“I think I see Shawn losing his smile.” – Me
So we get the whole CENA/EDGE set up… I smoked. You know what happened.
Herrrre comes CENA!
Edge now, with Lita looking breasty.
JOHN CENA vs. EDGE
Bell rings and Cena charges in throwing Edge to the corner and getting pulled back by the ref. Cena charges back in and beatdowns continue. Grabs Edge throws him to the ropes and an elbow and pin for one.
Picks up Edge, tosses him to the corner and spun around to the counter corner where Edge STOPS to not hit the ref. He eats a belly to belly. Cena throws him AGAIN to a corner, goes for the shouldertackle and eats corner pole.
Edge counts with the ref, and as Cena rolls in at eight he runs in and kicks him down. Elbows Cena in the back and then hits a standing dropkick. Crowd is cheering for Edge quite a bit and as Cena crawls to the apron he gets kicked to the barricade. Ref continues to count. At eight again, Cena charges in and gets elbowed down a few more times and a pin for two.
Edge goes to pick up Cena, but gets beaten in the gut. To his feet, he charges the ropes and a spinning heel kick drops CENA and a pin for two. Cena stumbles around the ring, but as Edge walks up he WAILS on him and hits a BIG suplex on Edge out of nowhere. Goes for his own pin for two. Throws Edge to the ropes, reversed and Edge HURLS Cena out of the ring. Whether people like it or not, there is a decent amount of ring psychology going on here.
Cena rolls in and Edge picks him up and beats on him. Cena hits him back. Cena tries to throw him into the ropes and it’s reversed. Cena flies for the crossbody and Edge ducks… WHIFFFF… Edge goes for the pin – gets two. Edge knees him in the back, holding him down. Turns it into a solid chinlock. Cena pulls out of it and hits Edge hard in the gut.
Cena gets thrown into the ropes and kicks the bent over Edge in the face. Cena hits the ropes again and boots Cena in the face. Edge now climbs to the top, but Cena runs up and drops him onto the turnbuckle. Cena follows him up and goes for the superplex! Edge grabs the rope and headbutts Cena down. FLYING CLOTHESLINE FOR TWO!
Elbow to the back of Cena and Edge puts him in a sitting chinlock.
“THE STEINER RECLINER… WORST NAME FOR A MOVE… EVER!” – Hernandez
“I don’t know… is there a move called the STEAMBOAT DREAMBOAT?” – Michael
Cena stands up out of it… He drops back and they’re both down.
“LAZYBOY” – Hernandez
They get up to their feet and Cena hits the ropes for a leapover bulldog. Both are down again. Lita throws Edge a chair and Edge screams NO! and hurls it out of the ring. Cena CLOTHESLINES Edge! A couple clotheslines… a sideslam. A You Can’t See Me. Cena Salutes… Fffff– NO! EDGE HITS THE EDGECUTION FOR TWO!
Edge now goes up to the top turnbuckle, and here comes Edge……. CENA GRABS HIM FOR THE FU…. Edge slides out and sets up for the electric chair drop, but Cena rolls him down for a sunset roll… TWO! Cena goes to the top rope and flying cross body! Cena STOPS the pin to pick him up hurl him down for the F5, but Edge gets out! Cena pushes Edge into Lita who is on the apron! EDGE STOPS AND GETS SET-UP IN THE FU AGAIN! EDGE GETS OUT HITS THE ROPES — DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!
They’re BOTH out! Finally Edge gets up to his feet.. sets up the Spear! He’s waiting. DROP TOE HOLD INTO THE STFU!
Lita has the belt!!!! EDGE SAYS NO! The belt is now on the apron as Edge GRABS the rope. She puts brass knucks on EDGE while the ref isn’t looking!
Cena puts him up in the FU…. LITA LEAPS ONTO EDGE’S BACK! CENA’S GONNA FU BOTH – But just FU’s LITA! Ref checks on her….. MEAN BRASSKNUCK SHOT!
PIN – EDGE WINS!
WINNER: EDGE!
Who the hell expected that! Fantastic match, whether you like it or not, those guys put on a solid solid match of the night.
Edge heads on out with the title.
“Without Lita?” – Bill
“She is what started the problems, isn’t she..” – Hernandez
So .. well .. what did the Rabble think?
“I thought Cena shoulda won.” – Bill
“I didn’t.” – Me
“Adam Copeland sucks.” – Bill
“Known as feces to Matt Hardy” – Hernandez
“I like Edge.” – Me
“I like Chavo.” – Bill
“Nice spanks on the diva’s end.” – Jenna
“Really getting tired of watching Foley job to the Nature Boy” – Michael
“No Sir, I didn’t like it.” – Jimmy
“*pouty face* The Hulk Hogan fight was just sad.” – Val
“Fun card. Didn’t care about the main event unfortunately. I’m interested in what happens tomorrow” – Hernandez
So that’s what we thought! What did you think?
Thanks again for joining us once again for a Rabbletastic night here at Hernandez’s house. We’ll see you all again tomorrow.
