Professional wrestling is a bizarre mixture of athletics, entertainment, physical punishment, scripted and unscripted action, risk for the performers, and guts and determination the likes of which is not displayed anywhere else in the world.
As much as I love the show, I hate to see performers place themselves in real danger. Anyone who wants a wrestler to keep taking bumps when they are truly injured is a heartless bastard, and is NOT a true fan of the industry. I’d rather NOT see a favorite grappler of mine on television for months because he’s taking time off to heal properly. There’s too much chance of grave injury inside the ring. Just ask Darren Drozdov.
TODAY’S ISSUE: Please, Don’t Kill Yourself.
I remember watching with my heart in my throat the night Kurt Angle defended the WWE Championship against Brock Lesnar. It was at WrestleMania XIX in Seattle, Washington. Kurt came back way too soon from some experimental wonder surgery that was supposed to eliminate 75 percent of the healing time a broken neck requires. I wasn’t concerned about workrate, moveset, time allowed, position on the card, or anything else an “insider” looks for in a championship match. The only thing I wanted was for Kurt to walk out of the ring that night. I wanted him not to cripple himself by taking one bad bump. I was so nervous for Angle’s well-being, even the massive Brock Lesnar’s attempt at a Shooting Star Press for the first time ever in the major leagues wasn’t as impressive as it could have been to me (although that might be because he under-rotated and almost broke HIS OWN neck on the landing).
Thankfully, Kurt survived the match, but his health has been a huge issue ever since. Don’t forget, he broke his neck in the amateurs before taking bump #1 in a pro ring. Some doctors might say that he NEVER should have worked a single pro match, considering his past neck problems. Imagine, one of the greatest careers in the modern era would have never seen the light of day.
Speaking of great careers, the late, great Eddie Guerrero rushed back to work for WCW following a horrific auto accident back in 1999. Some might speculate that his death was at least partially caused by coming back to the ring way too soon back then, and needing massive amounts of pain-killers and who-knows-what else to endure the blinding pain he no doubt suffered with every bump in every match. He ingested enormous quantities of narcotics just to survive those years, and that undoubtedly contributed to the heart failure that ended his life.
At this point it might be appropriate to discuss the lack of unionization and representation pro wrestlers have in dealing with the promotions for which they perform as “independent contractors”. While I agree whole-heartedly that wrestlers should have unions, guaranteed medical coverage if/when they get hurt in that company’s ring, and full retirement packages, that’s not what this piece is about, so I’ll avoid that side-road by simply saying that these men and women literally risk their lives and their futures to entertain fans, make promoters money, and earn their own living. For that risk, they deserve fair treatment. ‘Nuff said.
I wasn’t as much “in the know” as I supposedly am now back in 1998, when WWF Champion Shawn Michaels passed the torch and in no uncertain terms “made” Stone Cold Steve Austin at WrestleMania XIV. Knowing what I now know about that match, I cringe all the way through it as I realize the agonizing pain HBK was in that night, and what he endured in order to ensure the “Austin Era” would really kick off with a bang.
In January of that year at the Royal Rumble, Shawn took a bump onto a closed wooden coffin at ringside during a Casket Match against the Undertaker. That fall caused a massive back injury: he suffered two herniated discs and one that was completely crushed. A mere two months or so after this injury, Shawn gutted out a 20-minute affair against the Texas Rattlesnake before taking off for the next four years.
Think about it. The man fell hard on his BROKEN back time after time just to ensure the show would go on. You know that wouldn’t have happened in ANY other sports or entertainment event anywhere.
I’m a Matt Hardy fan, but he once said something so crazy, it was terrifying. In a shoot interview discussing the first TLC match, Matt said, “I love wrestling more than I love life.” I only hope that was hyperbole, because anything else would be pure madness. I realize you have to be a little crazy to be a professional wrestler, but that’s over the line.
I want these men to enjoy long, healthy careers, and to be able to play with their children and grandchildren some day. The last thing I ever want to see in a pro wrestling ring is a performer who wrestles one match too many and suffers a horrible, career-ending or life-threatening injury.
With no off-season, these warriors get no time to recuperate. Anyone reading this column realizes pro wrestlers are constantly on the road, taking bumps, working house shows, suffering aches and pains, taping up sore areas, and continuing to go out there night after night. Plus, any wrestler who’s ever toiled in obscurity is not about to sit on the sidelines during a big push or angle, even if they desperately need medical attention. That’s a sad-but-true statement about the industry.
The bottom line is that wrestling is a dangerous way to make a living. I hate to hear outsiders call it “fake” or “phony”. The list of men who have been seriously injured or killed as a result of their jobs as wrestlers is staggering. It’s too bad escalation has caused these performers to constantly “up the ante” by taking higher risks, crazier bumps, and more chances in order to keep fans’ interest. I’d be one of the few fans who didn’t balk if they tried to slowly reintroduce us to a more mat-based, technical style where highspots were the exception instead of the rule. Remember when Macho Man’s flying forearm was a killer move that excited fans and won matches? Those were the days.
On a lighter note, SummerSlam has come and gone. Compare PK’s Live SummerSlam Coverage to the IP Staff’s picks in The Rasslin Roundtable.
Speaking of picks, welcome to a NEW FEATURE! As a Monday morning columnist, management and I have concluded that I’m in the ideal position to post results of our Rasslin Roundtable picks after each pay-per-view. Starting today with WWE SummerSlam, I’ll report the staff’s prediction success rate. Welcome to the very first:
IP Staff Rasslin Roundtable Results
Danny Wallace
WWE SummerSlam: 6-1 SummerSlam Roundtable Champion!
Total: 6-1
Widro
WWE SummerSlam: 5-2
Total: 5-2
Matthew Michaels
WWE SummerSlam: 5-2
Total: 5-2
GRUT
WWE SummerSlam: 5-2
Total: 5-2
PK
WWE SummerSlam: 4-3
Total: 4-3
Eric Szulczewski
WWE SummerSlam: 4-3
Total: 4-3
Iain Burnside
WWE SummerSlam: 4-3
Total: 4-3
Troy Hepple
WWE SummerSlam: 4-3
Total: 4-3
Will Cooling
WWE SummerSlam: 4-3
Total: 4-3
Steve Murray
WWE SummerSlam: 3-4
Total: 3-4
Mark Neeley
WWE SummerSlam: 3-4
Total: 3-4
Vinny Truncellito
WWE SummerSlam: 3-4
Total: 3-4
We now return you to your regularly scheduled reality.
p.s. – What exactly do safety pins keep safe?
