Into The Pit: Sakakibara Loses his Motherf@%#ing Mind

Columns

I saw a story the other day from the Las Vegas Review Journal stating that Mike Tyson will soon be fighting up to ten exhibition boxing matches. Not really big news; most people expected him to come out of retirement. The article went on to claim that one of those ten matches will be on a Pride Fighting Championship show (although not the 10/21 show in Las Vegas). I called bullshit and went about my business.

Fast forward to Saturday’s Pride FC press conference in Irvine, California, and son of a bitch if Mike Tyson wasn’t there. MMAWeekly reports, “Perhaps the biggest surprise at the press conference was the attendance and announcement of former undisputed heavyweight boxing champion Mike Tyson. According to Pride president Nobuyuki Sakakibara, ‘We have formed an alliance with Mike Tyson and we are planning projects replete with MMA appeal. He’s not merely a guest, but a partner who will help us create an MMA revolution.’ However, neither Pride nor Tyson would give any specific details as to their partnership when he was asked if he will be fighting for the promotion in the future. Tyson would only say, ‘I am happy that I can be a part of PRIDE, which is a great organization. I can’t comment on my contract, because it’s confidential.'”

Are you f*cking kidding me? Apparently someone forgot to tell Sakakibara that “Iron” Mike Tyson is completely batshit motherf*cking insane. He’s also notoriously unpredictable, which has been bad for business for many years. Pride is taking a huge gamble by bringing in Tyson in any capacity, but it could pay off big time in America for the Japanese organization.

I’m not a betting man, but if I were, I would bet that we will not see Tyson actually fight in Pride. I’m sure we’ll get some great soundbites, and Pride will get a ton of press in America, but in the end Tyson will flake and the whole thing will be forgotten about after a few months. However, having Mike Tyson as a part of Pride could gain them enough mainstream attention to become a legitimate threat to UFC in America.

The potential working agreement between Pride and UFC has apparently fallen apart (more on that tomorrow), so it’s pretty obvious that Pride is doing everything they can to get attention from casual MMA fans in the United States. Pride already has the hardcore MMA fans in America drooling over their October debut in Las Vegas. The goal for the company now is to reach out to a new audience, and let the rest of the country know that there is an alternative to UFC.

What better way than to bring in the most infamous f*cking lunatic in all of sports history. Whether Tyson were to actually fight or not, Pride can expect a damn good pay-per-view buyrate, as well as a sold out crowd. Tyson has the ability to bring in non-MMA fans, and the uptight boxing purists that think UFC’s “Octagon” is ridiculous.

Granted, a majority of those people – the ones who enjoy the freak show that is Mike Tyson – will lose interest after all the hype is over, but even if they keep a modest percentage of their initial audience, it would be worth the hassle of doing business with a madman.

Personally, I would love to see Tyson get in a Pride ring. I would be happy, just once, seeing what Tyson would actually do up against someone like Mark Coleman or Vitor Belfort. It’s a very exciting possibility, but I’m not going to get my hopes up.

And now, for your reading pleasure, here are some of my favorite Mike Tyson quotes.

On Lennox Lewis, “I want to rip out his heart and feed it to him. I want to kill people. I want to rip their stomachs out and eat their children.”

On Razor Ruddock, “You’re sweet. I’m going to make sure you kiss me good with those big lips. I’m gonna make you my girlfriend.”

After biting Evander Holyfield, “This is my career. I have children to raise. I have to retaliate. He butted me. Look at me. My kids will be scared of me”

On boxing, “My power is discombobulatingly devastating I could feel is muscle tissues collapse under my force. It’s ludicrous these mortals even attempt to enter my realm.”

One of my all-time favorites, on his mental health, “I’m on the Zoloft to keep from killing y’all.”

And finally, on fight fans, “I think the average person thinks I’m a f*cking nut and I deserve whatever happens to me. That’s what I believe.”

You couldn’t be more right, Mike.