InsidePulse’s ECW on Sci-Fi Report 08.22.06

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InsidePulse’s ECW on Sci-Fi Report 08.22.06
Live from the Wachovia Arena in Wilkes-Barre, PA.
Announcers are Joey Styles & Tazz
By: John Cavanagh

Greetings one and all to another ECW recap here at InsidePulse.com, I want to start out with a thanks to Tom Pandich for filling in for me last week. There was a PPV Sunday where the ECW title was put on the line, haven’t watched it but the general consensus was “meh.” Tonight we get a rematch, only there will be no title on the line, so it’s not exactly a rematch then is it? ECW has recently “acquired” the “talent” of Bob Holly and Matt Striker, will the two make an appearance tonight? One can only hope not. Stay tuned.

Joey Styles tells us that tonight, two days after Summer Slam, the main event WILL be for the ECW Championship.

Tonight we start the show with an EXTREME Bikini Contest. Making her way to the ring in a pink robe is Torrie Wilson, next is Kelly in an identicle baby blue robe. Well, if there’s one positive thing to come from this, at least it isn’t hosted by King… Wilson goes first and is wearing a very very shiny number, since shiny objects tend to distract me very easily, she’s the early leader. Kelly begins to disrobe and *shocker* Mike Knox and Test run to the ring to protect her.

When the two hit the ring Sandman’s music hits and both Dreamer and Sandman make their way to the ring. Knox, Test and Kelly exit the ring. Sandman offers up a six man mixed tag between them all and they seem to accept.

Test, Mike Knox, and Kelly vs.Tommy Dreamer, Sandman and Torrie Wilson

Kelly gets on the apron and Torrie goes straight at her, pulling her in to the ring by the hair. Wilson beats up on Kelly, setting her up in the corner but the lights go out, no Sabu so it must’ve been a simple glitch. The lights come back and Wison does her facial move on Kelly.

Test runs in to the ring, as does Dreamer. Test no sells any move Dremer throws at him while Dreamer sells like there’s no tomorrow. Test its a few back breakers along with a sidewalk slam but only gets a two. Sandman tries to enter but the ref sees and stops it. While Knox and Test double team on Tommy in the ring. Knox is now the legal man and gives Knox a few elbows to the ribs. A very loud “you can’t wrestle chant” starts, it says a lot when even the non-marks are chanting at you. Knox rams Tommy in to the ring post and rolls him back in. Tag to Test, who puts Dreamer in to a bear hug. He goes for the pump handle slam but Tommy gets out. Neckbreaker by Dreamer. Sandman gets taged in and goes straight at Test and Knox, White Russian Legsweep on Test who rolls out of the ring. Knox goes for a suplex but Sandman reverses it in to a suplex of his own. Sandman climbs the ropes and lands the Rolling Rock on Knox, goes for the pin but gets pulled out of the ring by Test. Test tries to ram Sandman in to the ring post but Sandman sends reverses. Back in to the ring Sandman looks to be setting up a suplex from the top rope but Knox pushes him down. Knox goes for a leg drop but Sandan moves in time. Tommy tagged in, hits the Dreammer DDT and gets the pin.

Winner: Tommy Dreamer, Sandman and Torrie Wilson

Heyman is in the back with Big Show, he says that he believes in Show but that accepting a rematch so soon after Summer Slam was a bad move. Show says Sabu is out of his element tonight, no chairs, no tables, no weapons, but Show is a walking weapon. Does that mean the ECW championship match is a WWE rules match?

Commercials.

Matt Striker is here, he’s fully aware that the letters E-C-W bring about images of brass barbaric brutality. He then beings spouting off a monologue that sounds strikingly similar to one from V for Vendetta. He says that while brawn works some of the times, that brains works all the time. He has a responsibility to shape our minds, and not to thank us because it’s what he does.

Next, our Extreme Rules match of the night. We’ve resorted to one match a show already?

Kevin Thorne vs. Balls Mahoney

Balls runs in to the ring with his chair in tow but Thorne starts beating him down before he can roll in to the ring. Thorne starts with a few punches, whips Balls in to the ropes and tries for a clothesline but Balls ducks. He turns around and does the Balls Combo, then kicks Thorne out of the ring. The two fight it out in front of the announcers table, Balls asks Taz if he’s drinking his water, Tazz tells him no so he uses it to clock Thorne. Back in to the ring Thorne uses his walking stick to beat down on Mahoney. Tazz makes a valid question on whether or not fangs are legal in the match. Thorne continues to use his walking stick to beat down on Balls. The two get up and when Thorne misses with a swing at Mahoney he gets another Balls Combo. Balls hits hi Ballbreaker but only gets a two. He goe outside for his chair to finish off Thorne but Ariel distracts (and I believe bites) him by holding his leg. Thorne kicks the chair in to Balls’ face and then hits his top rope neckbreker. He goes for the pin and gets the win.

Winner: Kevin Thorne

Commercials.

Shannon Moore tells us that the system is oppressive. Riiiiiight… is this going anywhere?

CM Punk vs. CW Anderson

CW is now going by Christopher W. Anderson, but CW is just plain easier to type. There are heavy “CM Punk” before the match even begins. The two men start off with a few arm bar reversals. CW drops Punk to the mat and tries a leg lock but Punk gets out quickly. The ref again tries to separate the two men in the corner but CW cheap shots Punk. CW spends a long time working over Punks right shoulder. CW runs at Punk in the corner but Punk gets Anderson in to an Anaconda Vice. Punk tries for a springshot sunset flip but Anderson is able to reverse in to a cross arm breaker. He gets out of it y politely punching Anderson in the spine a few times. He hits the running knee in the corner, followed by a bulldog.CW finds it in him and hits a huge spinebuster. He applies his submission finisher and Anderson taps.

Winner: CM Punk

Sabu says that tonight The Big Show is going down.

Commercials.

Heyman again in the back, this time talking to Hardcore Holly. He whispers to Holly that someone in back has been going around the locker room bad mouthing him and how dangerous he is to fellow wrestlers.

Rob Van Dam vs. Danny Dorring

Since Van Dam didn’t win the match last week, Heyman is making Rob work his way up the ranks again. All the way from the bottom. Van Dam obviously has the main control in the match, Doring gets a few holds and elbow drops in, but the entire match basically sees Danny being his test dummy.

Winner: Rob Van Dam

Holly rushes the ring with a steel chair and lays out Van Dam, he also hits Dorring for good measure. He walks over and picks up RVD, hits the Alabama Slam.

Commercials.

Rene Dupree says he’s the best looking man to ever step foot in an ECW ring, which I think would be more meaningful if he actually stepped foot in an ECW ring.

ECW Champion Big Show vs. Sabu
ECW World Heavyweight Championship Match

Sabu starts the match with a few punches thrown at Show, but they’re ineffective and Show knocks him down with one simple headbutt. Chop to the chest from Show in the corner, and another in the center of the ring. Show picks up Sabu and then drops him rib first on the top rope. Sabu is again typing to get the upper hand, getting a few kicks on Show while he’s down. He tries for a springboard cross body but Show grabs him mid-air and then throws him over his head with a fall away slam.

Commercials.

We’re back and little has changed. Sabu starts fighting back but Show levels him with a clothesline when he tries to use the ropes for momentum. Sabu is now trapped in a bear hug by Show but uses both thumbs in the eyes to get free. Show can’t see where he’s going and accidentally knocks the ref out. With the ref still out, Sabu goes outside and grabs a chair. A few shots to show, and a baseball slide to slow down the giant. Sabu goes up top and uses the chair again to on Show. Sabu sets up the triple jump moonsault and connects, then with the ref STILL out, he uses the chair for an Arabian face buster. He goes for a pin but since the ref was out cold a replacement makes his way to the ring, it leaves plenty of time for Show to kick out at two. Sabu goes and grabs the bell from ring side and just goes to town on Big Show with it. The ref tells him to stop, but since he can’t call for the bell he just tries reasoning with Sabu to stop, yeah that’ll happen. Show is busted open and eventually sent over the top rope through a table set up on the outside.

Winner: Big Show?

Sabu stands in the ring with the bell in his mouth while Show is out cold at ringside.

Show Over.

Don’t forget, you can head over to the ECW Thread in our forums and share your thoughts on the show.