SummerSlam recap opens. I still havn’t even watched the majority of SummerSlam. Anyways we cut to King Booker and the Royal Hierarchy in the ring with Regal doing the ‘All Hail King Booker’ chant. Booker takes the microphone and thanks all his loyal subjects and talks about how he proved that Batista could not beat him, cannot challenge our King, and he dowsed his dreams of being Champion. Booker talks about how there needs to be a royal court and Sharmell reads from a scroll that proclaims Finlay and William Regal the title of the Royal Knights Extraordinaire. JBL’s reaction is absolutely perfect, incase you needed to know. Booker even knights them with a sword! William Regal’s acting is absolutely on par too. Finlay gets on the microphone and talks about Lashley kissing Booker’s royal feet, and anyone else that challenges his royal reign will have the same treatment. Regal gets on the microphone and begins the chant.
Lashley attacks Finlay from behind with a spear! Regal attacks Lashley, but just when it looks like the Hierarchy have the better of Lashley Batista comes out and takes care of Regal and Finlay! (JBL: “It’s strategery, as Bush would say!) Long comes out and announces our main event; the Royal Hierarchy vs Batista and Lashley. Absolutely perfect way to start SmackDown, as I’m sure you could figure out by yourself.
Commercials.
Gregory Helms, Cruiser Weight Champion, joins JBL and Cole at ringside. Trivia note: Michael Cole has done 364 consecutive shows, according to JBL. But that could easily be a lie.
Opening Contest: Mr Kennedy vs Matt Hardy
Lock up and Hardy gets a headlock only to get sent off the ropes and come back with a shoulder. Headlock takedown by Hardy but Kennedy uses a headscissors to take Hardy off; Hardy with another headlock takedown but Kenney gets a two count roll up. Hardy with a shoulder block and off the ropes and nails Kennedy with a hip toss. Kennedy into the ropes and back into an elbow, elbow drop for a two for Hardy. Kennedy nails a backdrop on Hardy. Kennedy stomps away and takes Hardy face first into the top turnbuckle; Hardy sends Kennedy into the turnbuckles face first in return, clothesline gets Hardy a two count. Hardy gets sent into the corners by Kennedy, with Kennedy getting a two count. Hardy gets a side effect for a two count. Hardy goes for another side effect but Kennedy nails him off only to get flipped to the outside by Hardy. Hardy with a vaulting body press which leads us to a commercial break.
Commercials.
We’re back and Kennedy has Hardy’s arm in a wristlock. Hardy with rights but gets nailed with an arm breaker by Kennedy for a two count. On the outside Kennedy sends Hardy into the steel steps. Kennedy gets a two count back inside the ring, before he goes to work on Hardy’s arm. Hardy punches Kennedy off however Kennedy attacks from behind and gets a reverse bronco on the back of Hardy at the ropes. Foot choke by Kennedy in the corner. Kennedy with elbows for a two count. Hardy with a small package for a two count. Kennedy punches away at Hardy and nails a snapmare and hooks the hurt arm of Hardy’s around his neck it seems, but Hardy gets to his feet with an arm drag to Kennedy.
Kennedy goes up top but Hardy gets some right hands and nails a superplex, getting a two count pinfall. The two exchange rights but Hardy gets the better of Hardy and eventually nails some knees and a boot to the face of Kennedy. Kennedy into the corner for a clothesline bulldog combo by Hardy for another two count. Hardy with another side effect for another two count. Kennedy tackles Hardy into the corner but gets elbowed by Hardy, who then nails the yodel elbow drop. Hardy signals for the Twist of Fate but Kennedy pushes him into the ropes, Kennedy goes for the dropkick but Hardy holds onto the ropes, but gets dropped throat first onto the top rope by Helms! Neckbreaker by Kennedy for the three count.
Winner: Mr Kennedy
Helms and JBL make a pretty good commentary team, actually. Put Helms on commentary for the next month’s worth of opening matches and he’ll be in the upper card easily. Six out of Ten. Would have appreciated it if they built up to the two counts, but, what am I going to do?
Ashley and The Miz backstage talking about Layla winning the Diva Search. Miz thinks he has huge fans. Someone needs to lay off the caffeine, or get a hammer to the face …
Commercials.
The Miz is in the ring and introduces Layla. I never noticed how big her chest is before. Layla goes to thank the fans, but Miz interrupts and talks about the biggest debut in SmackDown history .. he’s wrestling next week. (JBL: “I’d rather see Star Jones topless in a thong in my room than see that guy wrestle”)
Second Contest: Tatanka vs Sylvester Turkay w/ Elijah Burke
This is going to be rather interesting. Lock up and Tatanka gets taken into the corner, but Tatanka kicks him off. Tatanka gets a high foot caught by Turkay only to get tripped. Tatanka with slaps to the face and a chop, off the ropes with a shoulder block. Tatanka goes for another shoulder but gets kicked down. Turkay with mounted punches and knee shots to Tatanka. Turkay with a high knee to the face of Tatanka, before he locks on a front sleeper on Tatanka. Tatanka tries to elbow Turkay off but gets taken down for a two count. Turkay with a big headbutt and snapmare, before he forces his knee in between the shoulders of Tatanka. Tatanka gets up and punches Turkay’s gut, ducks a high kick, and continues the punches and chops to Turkay!
Tatanka with clotheslines that fail to knock Turkay down. Tatanka gets some chops to the forehead of Turkay and begins to kick away at his legs. Tatanka goes up top with the Tomahawk Chop! One! Two! No! Turkay gets his foot on the bottom rope. Tatanka begins to argue with the referee but turns right into a high kick by Turkay for the three count.
Winner: Sylvester Turkay
Not as bad as it could’ve been, and a good step in Turkay’s direction. Not bad for Tatanka either, since he’s the first opponent to do some damage to Turkay. Three out of Ten. Since it was watchable at least.
Still to come: Batista and Lashley vs King Booker, William Regal, and Finlay!
Recap of Guerrero vs Mysterio takes us into Vickie Guerrero making her way out to the ring …
Commercials.
Vickie comes out and makes note that she loves the “Viva La Raza” music, but it’s going to be the last time everyone will hear the music. Time for her to move on. She talks about how she physically interjected herself in the SummerSlam match and feels horrible, she apologises to the fans for interrupting the match and requests that Mysterio comes out. She says she’s sorry for accidentally hurting him and accepts it to a rather mixed reaction. She asks for Chavo to come out and he does, she also says sorry to him and they also hug to another mixed reaction. Mysterio goes to help Vickie out of the ring, but Chavo attacks him from behind (shocking). Nice backbreaker by Chavo, before Chavo goes to use a chair on Mysterio. Vickie tells him to put it down and stands in the way, she talks Chavo down and Chavo throws the chair down. He goes to pick it up again but Vickie picks it up and hits Rey with it instead. Brainbuster on the chair by Chavo finishes Mysterio up before the Guerrero’s hug and leave ringside. Bland segment but it at least got the point across.
Commercials.
Recap of the previous segment. I gotta say Vickie does a pretty believable chairshot; it’s supposed to be her first one, doesn’t know how much effort to put behind it, unlike some non-wrestlers who suddenly know how to do a perfect chair shot.
Third Contest: Paul London w/ Brian Kendrick vs K.C. James w/ Michelle McCool and Idol Stevens
Alright so James is the blonde one. Got it for the moment. London ducks a clothesline and takes it to James with punches, before it turns to the two exchange punches around the ring. London sent into the ropes into a shoulder body toss. Backbreaker by James. Snapmare by James for a no count. London with a chop to James before a high kick to the chest, elbow and London punches away at James. London continues the varied assault but gets sent into the corner, James runs into an elbow and London jumps off the top rope and kicks the back of Jame’s head. James in the corner for a nice running knees, off the ropes and London gets tripped by Stevens. Kendrick attacks Stevens. James gets nailed with a dropsault by London, who goes up top but gets thrown off by Kid Kash! Jamie Noble attacks Kendrick at ringside!
Winner: Paul London
The Pitbulls continues their assault on Kendrick and London. Teacher’s Pets attack from behind, Kendrick and London reassert themselves and referees finally (took their sweet ass time) come out and break it up. Do I smell TLC? Hopefully, but probably not. Anyways; James can keep up with London which is good to see, especially considering their opposing styles, but this match was far too quick to be anything above a three. Three out of Ten.
M.V.P is shown making his way through the crowd.
Commercials.
Tick. Tock. Another Boogeyman promo.
Kristal has a few words for Layla, saying that she likes to beat former Diva Search winners. Right. Jillain also has a few words for Kristal; they’ve had their problems in the ring but tonight she’s going to solve them.
Fourth Contest: Kristal vs Jillian Hall
Kristal shoves Hall down from behind and takes her up by the hair. Kristal off the ropes and back with a nice headscissors, she poses for the fans but gets punches from Hall before being axe handled after an irish whip. Hall with a scoop slam followed up with a handspring elbow drop for a two. Dropkick by Hall sends Kristal outside, Kristal trips Hall and drags her out and spears her into the apron. Back in the ring Kristal gets a hair toss followed by stomping on her hair and dragging her up, but Hall gets a small package for a two. Hall with a nice chop to the chest and sends Kristal into the corner for the handspring elbow followed by a snapmare. Hall goes up and off with a crossbody, before she does the shimmy. Hall ducks a clothesline and goes for a samoan, but Kristal slides down and pulls on the jeans of Hall for the three count.
Winner: Kristal
Post match, Hall protests that Kristal was pulling on her jeans. Not a bad match, Kristal’s coming along pretty nicely actually. Can’t wait to see her in six months time. Four out of Ten. That’s by Diva standards, don’t forget.
M.V.P is still at ringside.
.. A cowboy promo. Jimmy Wang Yang. That’s got to be the gayest cowboy ever.
Commercials.
Fifth Contest: Vito vs Sylvan
Vito ducks a punch and chops away at Sylvan, sends him into the ropes by Sylvan rolls outside. Vito follows him and slaps away at Sylvan, back in the ring Vito runs into a kick to the midsection. Sylvan nails a scoop slam and gets a running knee to Vito, before he rakes the face of Vito. Vito with elbows to Sylvan and runs of the ropes into a nice spinebuster by Sylvan. Sylvan goes up top and flies off with a missile dropkick, for a two count. Sleeper hold by Sylvan. Vito with a back drop on Sylvan. Punches to the gut of Sylvan before the two exchange fists, with Vito getting the better of Sylvan. Clothesline and elbows by Vito before a shoulder body toss. Vito misses a splash in the corner but moves as Sylvan spears the pole. Forget About It by Vito, and we get the Panty Stain for the victory.
Winner: Vito
Vito gets on the microphone and addresses a laughing M.V.P and claims the two women at his sides are looking tougher than he is and challenges M.V.P to come into the ring. M.V.P gets on the microphone and says he’s versatile, vicious, and vibrating – he gets on the phone to his agent who says that he’s yet to get a contract. And no contract, no contact, since he doesn’t want to risk getting hurt. Nice way to tease his debut match. Oh and the match? Three out of Ten.
Backstage the Royal Hierarchy seem to be plotting!
Comercials.
Recap of the brawl after Finlay and Regal where knighted.
Main Event: The Royal Hierarchy w/ Queen Sharmell vs Lashley and Batista
Batista starts by attacking all three, but Finlay attacks him from behind. Short arm clothesline before Finlay locks on a sleeper, but Batista gets a snapmare. Batista sends Finlay into the corner for shoulders, into the opposing corner for a clothesline. Batista picks Finlay up and sends him outside, where Lashley attacks him from behind and sends him back in. Batista tags out to Lashley. Lashley with a military press on Finlay, throwing him into Regal. Lashley sends Finlay into Regal and nails a double spear! Finlay and Regal leave to the outside as we head to a commercial break.
Commercials.
We’re back with Regal and Lashley in the ring. Lashley scoop slams Regal for a two count. Lashley takes it to the corner and punches away, before tags out to Batista. Regal off the ropes into stereo shoulders getting Batista a two count. Suplex by Batista for another two count. Batista tags back out to Lashley, who spears Regal in the corner. Suplex by Lashley for another failed pinfall. Regal sends Lashley into the ropes, Finlay distraction of a kick to the back causes him to get sent off the apron, and Lashley turns into a clothesline by Regal. Tag out to Booker. Booker kicks away at Lashley before he tags out to Finlay, who lands a thump on Lashley for a two. Regal in and sends Lashley into the corner. Regal and Finlay take shots at Lashley before Regal tags out to Lashley.
Scissors Kick by Booker for a two count; Lashley kicks out and Batista breaks it up. Finlay drags Lashley out and brings out The Little Bastard! Finlay throws the Little Bastard on Lashley, but it tries to attack Cole! JBL says that Cole got what was coming to him for making fun of the Leprechaun. Back in the ring, Booker knees away at Lashley before he fails a suplex, with Lashley nailing his delayed vertical instead for a pinfall broken by Finlay. Tag out to Batista, who punches away at Booker. Booker off the ropes into a sideslam! Batista fights off Finlay and Regal! Batista slams Finlay onto Regal! Booker goes to use his septor on Batista, but a spinebuster finishes it!
Winners: Batista and Lashley
Afterwards, Lashley and Batista celebrate before SmackDown fades to black. Certainly not the match I was hoping for. Two out of Ten.
This week’s matches went like this;
Mr Kennedy vs Matt Hardy: 6/10
Tatanka vs Sylvester Turkay: 3/10
Paul London vs K.C. James: 3/10
Kristal vs Jillian Hall: 4/10
Vito vs Sylvan: 3/10
Royal Hierarchy vs Batista and Lashley: 2/10
SmackDown 25/08/06: 21/60
It was a step up from last week’s attempt at least. Again, they’re headed in the right direction for pretty much everyone and everything it’s just that they’re missing something. But, oh well, Turkay and Vito both got good opponents this week, we saw Kristal again continue to be a few steps closer to being a wrestler (the girls nowadays seem to be learning wrestling on fast forward, it’s scary), we got Kid Kash back and that means the Pitbulls, and we even got a great segment to open the show. Every button was hit correctly and, even though this show may not have been perfect, I do suggest you go out of your way tonight to watch it, or at least try and catch a repeat. Until next week! Ciao y’all …
