Conan O’Brien is your host and TV’s best actors and shows, during primetime, get rewarded here tonight. Forget about the Daytime Soaps and their “stars”. This is when the BEST TV is on. So lets get to the show!
The 58th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards – (8/27/06)
Conan starts off in various parodies of certain shows. He is on a plane and headed to host the Emmy Awards for a second time. But then his plane crashes and he ends up “lost” on the island of ‘Lost’. Somehow this leads to him dropping through the “hatch” and falling right into the “office” of ‘The Office’. As he leaves, Conan gets a ’24’ moment. He then runs and asks for help from Hugh Laurie from ‘House’. Conan then becomes animated into the world of ‘South Park’. Next, he walks into a house where he’s in an episode of ‘Dateline NBC’ as an “Internet predator”. Finally, he runs away and ends up in Los Angeles for the Emmy Awards!
I won’t recap his opening speech as it’s most of the usual “TV jokes”. But best joke in his opening speech is..”since the Emmy Awards are on NBC this year, it will be cancelled halfway through!” Other things to mention. HBO is also the most nominated network with 95 nominations. The highest rated sitcom this year was CBS’s ‘Two and a Half Men’. I also like the joke about $50,000 gift card to the Olive Garden for the winners. That’s a prize for sure! More jokes about NBC and that leads to a musical number with Conan talking about the “trouble at NBC”. Pretty funny stuff actually. Time for the awards, though!
The first presenters are Ellen Pompeo and Patrick Dempsey from ‘Grey’s Anatomy’. By the way, I will be keeping track of the hottest women on the show. And Ellen starts us off on the right foot.
Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series
Cheryl Hines (Cheryl David) – ‘Curb Your Enthusasim
Megan Mullally – ‘Will & Grace’
Elizabeth Perkins (Celia Hodes) – ‘Weeds’
Jaime Pressly (Joy) – ‘My Name is Earl’
Alfre Woodard (Betty Applewhite) – ‘Desperate Housewives’
And the winner is…Megan Mullally!
The next presenters are Sean Hayes from ‘Will & Grace’ and Julia Louis-Drefus from ‘The New Adventures of Old Christine’.
Best Supporting Actor in a Drama Series
William Shatner (Denny Crane) – ‘Boston Legal’
Oliver Platt (Russell Tupper) – ‘Huff’
Michael Imperioli (Christopher Moltisanti) – ‘The Sopranos’
Gregory Itzin (Charles Logan) – ’24’
Alan Alda (Arnold Vinick) – ‘The West Wing’
And the winner is…Alan Alda!
Commercial Break…
We come back and Conan plays around with Bob Newhart. He is in an “air-tight” booth. He has air for three hours. If the Emmy Awards run late, Bob dies! Excellent idea Conan!
The next presenters are Charlie Sheen from ‘Two and a Half Men’ and Martin Sheen from ‘The West Wing’. Father and son together!
Best Supporting Actress in a Drama Series
Candice Bergen (Shirley Schmidt) – ‘Boston Legal’
Sandra Oh (Cristina Yang) – ‘Grey’s Anatomy’
Chandra Wilson (Miranda Bailey) – ‘Grey’s Anatomy’
Blythe Danner (Izzy Hoffstodt) – ‘Huff’
Jean Smart (Martha Logan) – ’24’
And the winner is…Blythe Danner!
The next presenters are Jamie Pressley and Jason Lee from ‘My Name is Earl’. Her greatest award is being his skanky wife!
Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series
Will Arnett (Gob Bluth) – ‘Arrested Development’
Jeremy Piven (Ari Gold) – ‘Entourage’
Bryan Cranston (Hal) – ‘Malcolm in the Middle’
Jon Cryer (Alan Harper) – ‘Two and a Half Men’
Sean Hayes (Jack McFarland) – ‘Will & Grace’
And the winner is…Jeremy Piven!
Commercial Break…
Conan talks about time being wasted by winners walking to the stage. He introduces the newest way to come the stage and that is a Segway Portable Transport.
The next presenters are Dennis Haysbert from ‘The Unit’ and William Peterson from ‘C.S.I.’.
Best Supporting Actress in a Miniseries or Movie
Ellen Burstyn (Former Tarnower) – Mrs. Harris
Shirley Jones (Aunt Batty) – Hidden Places
Cloris Leachman (Tarnower’s sister) – Mrs. Harris
Kelly MacDonald (Gina) – The Girl in the Cafe
Alfre Woodard (Mrs. Brown) – The Water is Wide
And the winner is…Kelly MacDonald!
Commercial Break…
Conan comes back to make fun of Bob Newhart some more in the air-tight booth and talk in Spanish to waste time.
The next presenters are Heidi Klum, Jeffrey Tambor, and John Lithgow from ’20 Good Years’.
Best Variety, Music, or Comedy Series
‘The Colbert Report’
‘The Daily Show with Jon Stewart’
‘Late Night with Conan O’Brien’
‘The Late Show with David Letterman’
‘Real Time with Bill Maher’
And the winner is…‘The Daily Show with Jon Stewart’!
The next presenters are Jennifer Love Hewitt from ‘Horse Whisperer’ and Ron Livingston from ‘Standoff’.
Best Guest Actor in a Comedy Series
Patrick Stewart – ‘Extras’
Ben Stiller – ‘Extras’
Martin Sheen – ‘Two and a Half Men’
Alec Baldwin – ‘Will & Grace’
Leslie Jordan – ‘Will & Grace’
Best Guest Actress in a Comedy Series
Shirley Knight – ‘Desperate Housewives’
Kate Winslet – ‘Extras’
Cloris Leachman – ‘Malcolm in the Middle’
Laurie Metcalf – ‘Monk’
Blythe Danner – ‘Will & Grace’
And the winners are…Leslie Jordan and Cloris Leachman!
The next presenters are the winners from above.
Best Directing in a Comedy Series
Michael Patrick King – ‘The Comeback’
Robert B. Weide – ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’
Dan Attias – ‘Entourage’
Julian Farino – ‘Entourage’
Marc Buckland – ‘My Name is Earl’
Craig Zisk – ‘Weeds’
And the winner is…Marc Buckland!
Best Writing in a Comedy Series
Chuck Tatham, Jim Vallely, Richard Day, and Mitchell Hurwitz – ‘Arrested Development’/”Development Arrested” episode
Doug Ellin – ‘Entourage’/”Exodus” episode
Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant – ‘Extras’/”Kate Winslet” episode
Greg Garcia – ‘My Name is Earl’/”Pilot” episode
Michael Schur ‘The Office’/”Christmas Party” episode
And the winner is…Greg Garcia!
Commercial Break…
We come back to Simon Cowell. He leads us in a tribute to Dick Clark. His start in the 1950s with ‘American Bandstand’ and all the way until now with ‘New Year’s Rocking Eve’. A little sad to see him now. But he presents Barry Manilow who continues the tribute with a musical number.
Commercial Break…
The next presenters are Tina Fey and Tracy Morgan from ’30 Rock’.
Best Individual Performance in a Variety or Music Program
Barry Manilow – ‘Barry Manilow: Music and Passion’
Stephen Colbert – ‘The Colbert Report’
Craig Ferguson – ‘The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson’
David Letterman – ‘The Late Show with David Letterman’
Hugh Jackman – ‘The 59th Annual Tony Awards’
And the winner is…Barry Manilow! I don’t like that at all!
Conan introduces the Emmy Award Accounting Team with special “Chicago Bull” entrance music and Kareem Abdul Jabbar. Time left for Bob is 1:45.
The next presenters are Evangeline Lily and Wentworth Miller. WOW! Evangeline!
Guest Actor in a Drama Series
Michael J. Fox – ‘Boston Legal’
Christian Clemenson – ‘Boston Legal’
James Woods – ‘E.R.’
Kyle Chandler – ‘Grey’s Anatomy’
Henry Ian Cusick – ‘Lost’
Guest Actress in a Drama Series
Kate Burton – ‘Grey’s Anatomy’
Christina Ricci – ‘Grey’s Anatomy’
Swoosie Kurtz – ‘Huff’
Patricia Clarkson – ‘Six Feet Under’
Joanna Cassidy – ‘Six Feet Under’
And the winners are…Patricia Clarkson and Christian Clemenson!
The next presenter is Christian Clemenson, since Patricia couldn’t be here tonight.
Best Directing in a Drama Series
Rodrigo Garcia – ‘Big Love’
Jack Bender – ‘Lost’
Alan Ball – ‘Six Feet Under’
Tim Van Patten – ‘The Sopranos’
David Nutter – ‘The Sopranos’
Jon Cassar – ’24’
Mimi Leder – ‘The West Wing’
And the winner is…Jon Cassar!
Commercial Break…
We come back and tells everyone to go to NBC.com for a second before “going back to surf for porn”.
The next presenters are Tom Sellick and Mariska Hargitay from ‘Law & Order: SVU!
Best Supporting Actor in a Miniseries or Movie
Robert Carlyle (Sergei Karpovich) – Human Trafficking
Clifton Collins Jr. (Jack Hill) – Thief
Hugh Dancy (Earl of Essex) – Elizabeth I
Jeremy Irons (Earl of Leicester) – Elizabeth I
Denis Lawson (John Jarndyce) – Bleak House
And the winner is…Jeremy Irons!
The next presenters are Howie Mandell from ‘Deal or No Deal’ and Megan Mullally from ‘Will & Grace’.
Best Directing for a Variety, Music, or Comedy Program
Louis J. Horvitz – ‘The 78th Academy Awards’
Bruce Gowers – ‘American Idol’
Jim Hoskinson – ‘The Colbert Report’
Chuck O’Neill – ‘The Daily Show’
And the winner is…Louis J. Horvitz!
Best Writing for a Variety, Music, or Comedy Program
‘The Colbert Report’
‘The Daily Show’
‘Late Night with Conan O’Brien’
‘The Late Show with David Letterman’
‘Real Time with Bill Maher’
And the winner is…‘The Daily Show with Jon Stewart’!
Commercial Break…
We come back and he says that 15% of us will be watching the Emmy Awards tomorrow at breakfast thanks to TiVo and I think he’s right. And then a funny bit where a “fake” TiVo fast-forwards through Conan’s “fake” boring poem.
The next presenters are Hugh Laurie from ‘House’ and Helen Mirren from Elizabeth I.
Best Actor in a Miniseries or Movie
Andre Braugher (Nick Atwater) – Thief
Charles Dance (Mr. Tulkinghorn) – Bleak House
Ben Kingsley (Herman Tarnower) – Mrs. Harris
Donald Sutherland (Bill Meehan) – Human Trafficking
Jon Voight (Pope John Paul II) – Pope John Paul II
And the winner is…Andre Braugher!
The next presenters are Matthew Perry and Bradley Whitford from ‘Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip’.
Best Actor in a Comedy Series
Steve Carell (Michael Scott) – ‘The Office’
Larry David (himself) – ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’
Kevin James (Doug Heffernan) – ‘King of Queens’
Tony Shalhoub (Adrian Monk) – ‘Monk’
Charlie Sheen (Charlie Harper) – ‘Two and a Half Men’
And the winner is…Tony Shalhoub!
Commercial Break…
We come back and Candice Bergen leads us in a tribute to Aaron Spelling! His hit shows included ‘Melrose Place’, ‘Mod Squad’, ‘S.W.A.T.’, ‘TJ Hooker’, ‘Love Boat’, ‘Starsky & Hutch’, ‘Fantasy Island’, ‘Dynasty’, ‘Beverly Hills 90210’, ‘Charlie’s Angels’, ‘Charmed’, and ‘7th Heaven’. The angels are even in on the tribute.
Commercial Break…
The next presenters are James Woods from ‘Shark’ and Eva Longoria from ‘Desperate Housewives’. Eva!
Best Made for Television Movie
Flight 93
The Flight That Fought Back
The Girl in the Cafe
Mrs. Harris
Yesterday
And the winner is…The Girl in the Cafe!
The next presenters are Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart. Funny segment with them. Colbert is upset that he lost to Barry Manilow! HAHAHAHA!
Best Reality-Competition Program
‘The Amazing Race’
‘American Idol’
‘Dancing with the Stars’
‘Project Runway’
‘Survivor’
And the winner is…‘The Amazing Race’!
Commercial Break…
The next presenters are Omar Epps from ‘House’ and Katherine Heigl from ‘Grey’s Anatomy’. Katherine!
Best Directing in a Miniseries, Movie, or Dramatic Special
Justin Chadwick – Bleak House
Tom Hooper – Elizabeth I
Peter Markle – Flight 93
David Yates – The Girl in the Cafe
Kenny Ortega – High School Musical
Phyllis Nagy – Mrs. Harris
And the winner is…Tom Hooper!
Best Writing in a Miniseries, Movie, or Dramatic Special
Andrew Davies – Bleak House
Nigel Williams – Elizabeth I
Nevin Schreiner – Flight 93
Richard Curtis – The Girl in the Cafe
Phyllis Nagy – Mrs. Harris
And the winner is…Richard Curtis!
The next presenters are Edie Falco and James Gandolfini from ‘The Sopranos’.
Best Miniseries
Bleak House
Elizabeth I
Into the West
Sleeper Cell
And the winner is…Elizabeth I!
We get the “In Memoriam” segment honoring people that have died in the past year. Richard Pryor!
Commercial Break…
The next presenters are Felcity Huffman from ‘Desperate Housewives’ and Kiefer Sutherland from ’24’
Best Actress in a Miniseries or Movie
Gillian Anderson (Lady Dedlock) – Bleak House
Kathy Bates (Jane Stern) – Ambulance Girl
Annette Bening (Jean Harris) – Mrs. Harris
Judy Davis (Sante Kimes) – A Little Thing Called Murder
Helen Mirren (Elizabeth I) – Elizabeth I
And the winner is…Helen Mirren!
The next presenters are Calista Flockhart from ‘Brothers and Sisters’ and Craig Ferguson from ‘The Late Late Show’.
Best Actress in a Drama Series
Allison Janney (C.J. Cregg) – ‘The West Wing’
Geena Davis (Mackenzie Allen) – ‘Commander in Chief’
Frances Conroy (Ruth Fisher) – ‘Six Feet Under’
Kyra Sedgwick (Brenda Johnson) – ‘The Closer’
Mariska Hargitay (Olivia Benson) – ‘Law & Order: Special Victims Unit’
And the winner is…Mariska Hargitay!
Commercial Break…
The next presenters are Tyra Banks from ‘The Tyra Banks Show’ and Victor Garber from ‘Justice’.
Best Actress in a Comedy Series
Stockard Channing (Lydia Barnes) – ‘Out of Practice’
Jane Kaczmarek (Lois) – ‘Malcolm in the Middle’
Lisa Kudrow (Valerie Cherish) – ‘The Comeback’
Debra Messing (Grace Adler) – ‘Will & Grace’
Julie Louis-Dreyfus (Christine Campbell) – ‘The New Adventures of Old Christine’
And the winner is…Julia Louis-Dreyfus!
The next presenters are Ray Liotta and Virgina Madsen from ‘Smith’.
Best Actor in a Drama Series
Christopher Meloni (Elliot Stabler) – ‘Law & Order: Special Victims Unit’
Denis Leary (Tommy Gavin) – ‘Rescue Me’
Peter Krause (Nate Fisher) – ‘Six Feet Under’
Kiefer Sutherland (Jack Bauer) – ’24’
Martin Sheen (Josiah Bartlet) – ‘The West Wing’
And the winner is…Kiefer Sutherland! That’s only his 1st win?!?! WOW!
Commercial Break…
Conan brings out Bob Newhart from the booth, since the show is running late! HAHAHA! 52% of America want him to live! He is the next presenter.
Best Comedy Series
‘Arrested Development’
‘Scrubs’
‘Two and a Half Men’
‘The Office’
‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’
And the winner is…‘The Office’! AWESOME!
The next presenter is Anette Bening. Final award!
Best Drama Series
‘House’
‘The Sopranos’
‘The West Wing’
‘Grey’s Anatomy’
’24’
And the winner is…’24’!
And that’s all! Wait..the show is on time! WOW!
BUT WAIT..there’s more from me! What did I think of the awards? I liked Conan as the host for sure. I’m SHOCKED about the Barry Manilow thing, but I’m glad others made fun of him for winning. That was funny. I’m a little SHOCKED that ‘Grey’s Anatomy won no awards, but they had stiff competition. I’m happy ‘The Office’ won best comedy and ‘My Name is Earl’ won a few awards as well. Congrats to ’24’ and Kiefer Sutherland for finally getting the awards they deserve, but see above with ‘Grey’s Anatomy’! Funniest presenters were Tina Fey and Tracy Morgan. Rip-off of the year was Barry Manilow for sure!
And now I present to you…
The Top Five Hottest Women at the 2006 Primetime Emmy Awards
#5 – Jaime Pressley – Earl is a lucky man!
#4 – Katherine Heigl – Second-hottest doctor on TV!
#3 – Evangeline Lily – WOW! Kate from ‘Lost’ really cleans up!
#2 – Ellen Pompeo – I love you Meredith Grey!
And #1 – Eva Longoria – But Eva pulls this one out in a close one! Wait..just give me Ellen, Evangeline, AND Eva and I will be happy! My new favorite letter is ‘E’..by the way!
That’s all I got, except did you notice that the funniest and best stuff on this show came from people associated with NBC shows?! What channel was this show on? Oh yeah..NBC! Imagine that!
