BLATT vs. ECW – 8.29.06

Reviews, Shows, TV Shows

I made Penny upset about my Hardcore Holly comments. Usually she comes at the end of the Rabble. Let’s give her the curtain jerk here:

Actually, Holly would have worked better in ECW than he ever has in WWE. He IS hardcore. Read Foley’s bios, even Foley is scared of of seriously Bob takes everything. Unlike say…. Sabu or RVD, he almost never missesa spot, he stiffs worse than Vader used to before he became an old fat joke, (I still wince thinking about him falling on his ass trying to follow Coach and Goldust out of the ring last fall). And I’ll second Steve on this, after the year of utter hell he’d had almost DYING, if you can begrudge the sight of him strong and healthy back doing what he loves you have no goddamn heart. He’s not my favorite guy in the biz, but he deserves better than you gave him. Hell you were kinder to a blithering talentless frog like Dupree. Where’s the logic?

Yes, I’m that Penny.

THAT Penny? The one from Inspector Gadget? Sweet! There’s one thing that really worries me in your e-mail here.

“He stiffs worse than Vader used to before he became an old fat joke”

This is a major part of the reason that I don’t like Bob Holly in a wrestling ring. Maybe you missed when he beat the hell out of Matt Capotelli. I’ll give you some slack if you did, but it sickened me to watch a rookie give Holly complete trust and to watch Holly rape that trust he was given. To watch a stiff shot now and again is fine and occasionally exciting, it goes with the territory of pro wrestling, but to have someone who is constantly potatoing people just isn’t cool. On top of that, I’m still an old school ECW guy. I remember the 2 and 3 am shows on PAX and seeing guys like Douglas, Storm, Taz, the Dudleys and RVD at what I think was their best. You know who doesn’t fit in with that? Hardcore Holly. I might be over-romanticizing ECW’s first go around, but I just don’t want Holly in ECW. I don’t really care that he’s back from his surgery and infection. It’s great that he’s okay and healthy, but that certainly doesn’t mean that I get excited that he’s on ECW. If he were never injured I still wouldn’t want him on ECW.

There’s a good reason I was nicer to the “blithering talent-less frog” Rene Dupree. I think he has charisma, and lots of potential. He was put into his spot on RAW when he was too green, but the guy has talent that hasn’t been fully realized yet. I’m not the only one that thinks this either, the recent wwe.com poll that asked Who do you think will make the biggest impact in ECW?” lists Dupree first, Striker second, THEN Holly and finally Shannon Moore.

Also of note: Sabu and Rob Van Dam blow more spots because they ATTEMPT spots. It’s hard to botch a clothesline, a body slam or hitting someone with a chair. In that regard, The Brooklyn Brawler doesn’t blow spots either.

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Anyway. We’re now seeing an Angle-less ECW. Although outside of helping launch the show, we’ve been watching an Angle-less ECW. Yeah, I doubt it was completely amicable but I’m sure that Kurt is going to have some fun with his family as soon as he shakes off the dependency on the pills. I doubt highly that his release was “unconditional” and I don’t think we’ll see him anywhere but in the WWE. I think he’d have to make Sting + Christian + Nash money to go to TNA.

Anyway, on to the show…

If you’re looking for a real play-by-play, check out fellow Hardcore Holly Hater John Cavanagh’s ECW coverage.

ECW – August 29th 2006

Spark Plugg over RVD by DQ
Now, did anyone else see this match as Rob Van Dam kicking the crap out of Hardcore Holly? Just abusing him, keeping on him and giving up very little in terms of offense? What I didn’t understand is why RVD went for the chair so early without attempting a pin. It seemed like they knew how to book this match, with RVD’s speed giving him the upper hand and having Holly capitalize on mistakes made by RVD. Unfortunately I think we’re going to be seeing more of Holly and it doesn’t matter if the two guys covering ECW on Inside Pulse don’t want to see him on our show. A win for Holly is a loss for my viewing experience.

Rene Dupree reminds us that he’s a part of ECW. Do you think that they fly him out to wherever they are each week to film this filler? It’s about time he’s put on TV in front of a live crowd to let them boo him out the building. Then and only then will Penny see that Rene Dupree spells E-X-T-R-E-M-E.

Big Show over Blatt’s attention span by Same Old Promo
I know that Show is used to being in the WWE, but if they are putting up the illusion of ECW being a separate entity from the WWE then they have to treat it as such. Saying that he’s the most dominant WWE champion in history should mean diddley-squat in ECW. Unfortunately Show makes that error and we’re reminded that McMahon vs. DX isn’t just going to absolutely consume RAW and Smackdown!, but ECW as well. Next week (if they accept) it’s Show vs. DX in a handicapped match. Lame.

Shannon Moore reminds us that he too is on the ECW roster. He doesn’t say anything about how he was voted least likely to make an impact in ECW however. He only says that we need to “fight the power”. I don’t see much in the way of a feud for Shannon when he comes in. They can throw him into some matches, maybe have him beat Stevie Richards, Justin Credible, Danny Doring, Little Guido and some of the other ECW Originals that don’t matter anymore, but I just don’t see where they’ll put him on the show.

CM Punk over Stevie Richards by Anaconda Vice
Stevie Richards doesn’t matter anymore. The WWE did such a great job of burying him on Heat for long enough that I no longer see the guy who started the bWo. He’s “Stevie Night Heat” and the guy in the dress for the Victoria angle. If they’re not careful, “ECW Original” is going to be another way of saying “Barry Horowitz.” CM Punk needs a feud and needs it quick because these squash matches aren’t showcasing what the man is capable of.

Balls Mahoney should be feuding with Matt Stryker. Not Sandman. I would think that Stryker’s character would find Balls more offensive than the Sandman. Yes, Sandman drinks giggle juice, but I would think that Balls would be the easy target for Stryker. Maybe the ups at the E don’t think Balls has gotten enough traction, but I don’t think these guys will really catch on with the audience until they are elbow deep in their first feud. I will say that I liked Stryker using his stapler. Even though Sandman was bleeding before he came into the ring from the beer can, it made for a great visual. I wonder if this means that the Sandman/Dreamer vs. Knox/Test feud is over and done with. Knox, Test and Dreamer were nowhere to be found during the show.

Speaking of Balls, he was about to explain to us why he’s called Balls when in walks a sudden feud with Mike Knox in the form of Kelly Kelli giving Balls a show. You know, because she’s an exhibitionist. Balls of course throws up the dual devil horns you know, because he’s a teenager.

Sabu speaks and says nothing, but it segues us into

Paul Heyman over Sabu by channeling Vince McMahon
I dot know why they waited until 10:57 to send RVD out there, but this match could have used him much earlier. If they wanted to really make a splash out there with crossing some story lines send out people in this order: Tommy Dreamer comes out to get some revenge on Heyman while he’s vulnerable and while Sabu, the enforcers, Show, Holly and RVD are busy. This brings out Knox and Test, which brings out Sandman, which brings out Stryker, which then brings out Balls. The show ends in a late 90’s fashion (which rarely happens anymore) and everyone goes home happy.

Instead, it’s depressing to see Sabu be beaten for such a long period of time and we’re assured that the booking committee is out of ideas because the parallels between the lead angles in ECW and RAW are getting disgusting. Oh, and finally the guards for Paul Heyman are revealed to be the ninja from AskANinja.com.

Overall: **1/2. Not a great show, but a decent RVD match, a great promo by Matt Stryker, and CM Punk make this mess watch-able. Ignore Shannon Moore, Rene Dupree and TBS’ promo along the generic megalomaniacal boss attacking the top star of the company angles. Last week was a 2.3 rating, I’m expecting a 2.1 for this week.

Next week: I’m not sure why we’re not seeing Show/Holly vs. RVD/Sabu instead of Show vs. DX. I know that they have to promote a RAW PPV, but can’t they push the ECW angles along at the same time? I’m expecting Balls vs. Knox and I don’t know if there are any Originals left for CM Punk to squash.

See ya next time, same Blatt time, same Blatt channel.