The SmarK DVD Rant for ROH: Unforgettable
– Yes, the “Fuck the WWE and TNA” tour continues, as I move through a large pile of ROH DVDs in search of a wrestling promotion not run by monkeys, idiots, or Jeff Jarrett. This takes place on the night after Joe v. Kobashi, October 2 2005.
– By the way, if anyone has contact info for that PWG group, or if you yourself are handling PR for them, so I can get my hands on the Battle of LA DVDs that all the kids these days are talking about, to review and give them some free publicity, that’d be swell.
– Taped from Philly.
– Opening match, ROH tag titles: Tony Mamaluke & Sal Rinauro v. The Ring Crew Express.
Rinauro starts out with Dunn and gets a headlock, as Mamaluke comes in for a quick armbar submission before Dunn makes the ropes. Mamaluke bails and Marcos hits him with a tope suicida, followed by Dunn, and Rinauro adds a somersault dive on everyone. Nearly a disaster with that one, but he pulled it out. Back in, the champs double-team Marcos in the corner and both guys hit him with backdrop suplexes for two. A nice double-team sees a russian legsweep from Mamaluke into a Buff Blockbuster from Rinauro, which gets two. Mamaluke charges and hits elbow, however, allowing Marcos to make the hot tag to Dunn. Backdrop and Gory Bomb for Rinauro gets two. A double-team attempt on Mamaluke backfires and Marcos gets powerbombed, and it’s BONZO GONZO. Double rollups from the Express gets two. Sliced Bread #2 on Rinauro sets up Marcos coming off Dunn’s shoulders with a senton for two. The champs double-team Marcos and get rid of him, however, and finish Dunn with a badly messed up finisher to retain.
(Mamaluke & Rinauro d. Dunn & Marcos, Rubik’s Cube Driver — pin Dunn, 6:03, **1/2) Fun little opener with lots of creative double-teams, although it was too short to build to anything and the finisher was botched.
– Davey Andrews v. Claudio Castagnoli v. Jay Lethal v. Nigel McGuinness
This is not elimination rules, and obviously the Pure Title isn’t on the line. Nigel tries some snapmares on Claudio to start, but he keeps landing on his feet and posing to egg him on. Nigel offers a handshake and takes him down by the arm in the process, but Claudio escapes and brings in Andrews, while Nigel brings in Lethal. They take it to the mat and trade waistlocks, but Lethal throws a chop, prompting Andrews to tag out to Nigel. He tags out to Claudio after a chop, and Claudio gets chopped, too. After taking some of those, he comes back with a dropkick, but charges and gets dumped to the apron, and springboards back in. At that point, all three other guys are on the mat, and Lethal moonsaults all of them for two and they head outside. Nigel misses Lethal with the iron and they head back in, where Lethal hits Nigel with a missile dropkick for two. CC comes in and starts to work on Lethal with a seated forearm, and tags out to Andrews for a strong clothesline. Over to Nigel, who hangs Lethal in the Tree of Woe and adds a kick, and it’s back to CC. I guess being moonsaulted by a black guy bonds people.
CC with a delayed suplex, and he tags out to Andrews instead of covering. Andrews goes with a delayed bodyslam, although not delayed enough for fans to cheer him for it. Nigel takes Lethal down for two, and CC takes issue with that attempt. The two of them get into a girly shoving match to amuse the crowd while Lethal comes back on Andrews. Spinebuster on Andrews and he goes up, but Nigel follows him and gets knocked down. While Nigel is falling, CC springboards in with a forearm and they battle to the floor. Awesome spot! Lethal is still on the top and Andrews brings him down with a superplex, and gets two. Roaring elbow misses and Lethal finishes with a dragon suplex.
(Jay Lethal d. Davey Andrews, Claudio Castagnoli & Nigel McGuinness, Lethal dragon suplex — pin Andrews, 9:52, **3/4) Claudio nearly stole the show here, as a singles match between him and Nigel looks like it’d be a lot of fun and he really got himself over in a limited amount of time. The match itself was more about putting over Lethal, as Andrews was just kinda there, and it did a good job of that. Claudio is obviously the big star of the future out of this group, however.
– Matt Sydal v. Jimmy Rave.
The toilet paper gag with Rave is great stuff. This is part of the continuing Embassy v. Generation Next feud. They exchange armbars to start and Sydal takes him down with an armdrag into a rollup for two. That leads into an exchange of pinning combos until Sydal grabs the arm again. Sydal adds a dropkick in the corner, but runs into an elbow. Rave bails for advice from Nana, but Sydal follows him out with a moonsault. Back in, Rave blocks a sunset flip and adds a backdrop suplex to take over. Chops in the corner set up a seated dropkick for two, and he hits Sydal with a clothesline to the back of the head. Neckbreaker gets two. Rave chokes him out in the corner and a swinging neckbreaker gets two. A full nelson really pisses off the fans for some reason, so Sydal escapes and gets an enzuigiri, only to fall victim to a stomp to the head that gets two. Rave chokes away in the corner and gets another full nelson, which is actually pretty sound strategy given the neck psychology. Still, the crowd isn’t buying it.
Sydal armdrags out of it and throws a leg lariat to come back. He turns an enzuigiri both into a headscissors in a nice save, and then gets the enzuigiri for two. That’s one of the times where repeating a spot can actually add to the match, as he adjusted in mid-move and then did it properly the second time. Standing moonsault gets two. He goes up and misses and Rave gets two because of it. Sydal tries a neckbreaker, but Sydal rolls him up for two. Rave comes back with a Snow Plow for two, but Jade Chung runs in while Nana is distracting the ref and allows Sydal to roll up Rave to finish.
(Matt Sydal d. Jimmy Rave, rollup — pin, 10:07, **1/2) Unfortunately these guys didn’t really gel that well, and the results were pretty average. Sydal showed some good fire here, though, with the finish being pretty predictable after the events of the night before.
– Ricky Reyes v. Derek Dempsey
I don’t give this Dempsey guy much chance here. Unless Van Hammer suddenly becomes cool again. Reyes quickly powerbombs him and chokes him out for the win.
(Ricky Reyes d. Derek Dempsey, chokeout — submission, 0:29, DUD) This was what it was. Afterwards another trainee runs in and asks for an undertaker, at which point Paul Bearer comes out and joins us. Well, that pun was a bit of a stretch. He declares himself the new commisioner of ROH, but then Jim Cornette joins us as well to a more positive fan reaction. He tells Paul that he doesn’t respect Paul Bearer, but he respects Percy Pringle, and goes off an a rant about people wanting a promotion where there’s winners and losers and not favoritism and nepotism and politics. Oh, snap. Also, titles don’t change hands “46 times a week” and people don’t cut promos that are written by “pencil pushing wannabe Hollywood comedy writers”. Oh, double snap. Bearer allows Cornette to be the commisioner after all. Always fun to hear Cornette go nuts when he cares about an issue.
– James Gibson v. Roderick Strong
This would be Gibson’s last match in ROH. We get a non-traditional start with a hug from both guys. They go to the mat and trade armbars, as Gibson then takes him down and grabs a facelock. A knucklelock challenge turns into a near-fall for Strong, and Gibson takes him down by the leg as they go to the mat again. Strong bails to shake out the leg, and heads back in for another lockup. Gibson goes for the hammerlock, but gets whipped into the corner and chopped by Strong. Gibson comes back with a monkey flip, to which Strong responds with his own, and neither guy can get an advantage. Strong, however, gets a backbreaker and keeps trying the Strong Hold, but Gibson comes out of the corner with a crossbody and neckbreaker. Legdrop gets two. Gibson hits the chinlock, but Strong fights out, so Gibson dumps him and follows with a pescado. Strong, however, catches him and tosses him into the railing. He pounds away on the floor and they slug it out.
Back in, Strong starts to work on the neck with a rear chinlock, and Strong gets two. Bodyscissors is reversed by Gibson into a surfboard hold, and Gibson takes over with a bow-and-arrow. Nice variation as Gibson bridges back for two, but Strong quickly grabs a facelock again. They slug it out again and Gibson goes down, and Strong surfboards him. Gibson reverses to a rollup for two, but Strong flattens him with a lariat for two. Gibson with a rolling reverse for two, but Strong gets a straight backbreaker to take him down again, and that gets two. Strong bearhugs him down, forcing Gibson to fight out, and then brings him down with a dropkick that gets two. Back to the bearhug again to keep Gibson on the mat, but Gibson counters a backbreaker with a Texas Cloverleaf, forcing Strong to make the ropes.
Gibson comes back with chops in the corner and goes up for a flying elbow that gets two. Strong blocks the tiger bomb, so Gibson throws a running knee and then adds some UFC knees out of a facelock. Strong, however, catches him on a crossbody attempt and hits two backbreakers in tandem for two. Strong Hold is prevented by Gibson making the ropes, but Strong wraps him in the ropes and chops the crap out of him. They hit the floor and then a spot that you don’t see very often, as Strong misses a chop and hits the ringpost with his hand. For some reason that really made me feel icky. Gibson just destroys the hand on the floor, stomping it on the concrete and ramming it into the barricade.
Back in, Gibson drops an elbow for two. He smashes the hand into the turnbuckle and follows with a brainbuster for two. Strong tries throwing a chop, but that proves a mistake, so he goes with forearms instead. That’s a nice touch. Gibson takes him down with a running knee, however, and gets two. Gibson tries a tiger bomb, but Strong powers him into the corner and leaves him hanging in the Tree of Woe. He follows with a pair of dropkicks and gets two. They head up and Strong gets a superplex for two. Back up again for another superplex attempt, but Gibson blocks it and follows with a knee strike off the top. That gets two. Gibson catches him with his head down, hitting a DDT into the guillotine choke, but Strong powers up and drives him into the corner. Gibson goes with it and gets the rolling german suplexes, pulling a Benoit and hitting eight of them, for a two count. The bell rings, but the ref calls it off.
Both guys regroup as Gibson argues his case, but Strong catches him with the half-nelson backbreaker, his hand having apparently gotten better. Another one is reversed for two by Gibson. Gibson gets his own backbreaker, into the tiger bomb for two. Thought that was the finish, and so did the fans. Gibson puts him on the top to finish and sets up for a top rope powerbomb, but Strong fights him off and reverses to an exploding gutbuster instead, and that’s enough to set up the Strong Hold for the win.
(Roderick Strong d. James Gibson, Strong Hold — submission, 28:53, ****) Once again with Strong, all the stuff with the backbreakers pays off in the end, as he proves to be just too strong (pardon the pun) for Gibson to put away. Gibson gives his farewell speech, but as he heads to the back with Strong, Prince Nana and Jimmy Rave lay out Strong to set up the next feud.
– Intermission time, as Mamaluke & Rinauro talk about being the champions.
– Jack Evans v. Colt Cabana
The handshake before the match is great, as is the dance-off. Nice to see guys with a sense of humor who can still bring the goods later on. Cabana and Evans do a stalemate sequence to start that’s more like a dance, which I’m sure was deliberate. This leads to a kip-up battle, although Cabana is unable to get up after several tries. And then, it actually pays off, as Evans goes to help him up and Colt kicks him in the head. CLASSIC. That’s like an extra * right there. Evans pounds him in the corner and follows with a weak handspring elbow, and he springboards in for two. Too much spring in his handspring. Rana sends Colt to the floor and he fakes the highspot, allowing Cabana to back off. Evans pushes his luck and tries a jumping rana off the apron, but Cabana catches him and swings him facefirst into the post. Oh, snap. As in, his neck.
Back in, Cabana slams him a few times, making a game of it, as he sees how far he can throw Evans, and then tries to beat his own record! Once again, Evans is bent into positions not intended by nature as Cabana puts an inverted boston crab on him. That is one limber kid. Colt pounds him in the corner and charges, but Evans latches onto him in a Tarantula attempt, so Cabana twists him around again and makes his head touch his feet. That’s just not right, dude. That gets two. You’d think defying the laws of nature would be worth more than that, but no. Colt’s airplane slam is escaped by Evans and it’s a double KO, but he comes back with a jumping knee. Legsweep and standing moonsault gets two. Falcon Arrow and Evans goes up, but Cabana crotches him. Evans fights him off and tries a 630 splash, but that misses and Colt just massacres him with a lariat to finish.
(Colt Cabana d. Jack Evans, lariat — pin, 10:10, ***) This wasn’t a technical classic or anything, but for sheer entertainment value between the dancing, comedy spots and Evans’ contortions, it was tough to beat. Julius Smokes interrupts the celebration to remind Colt that although he gets a pass tonight, he’s dead later. For someone who asked before, Cabana was giving an interview with Homicide and at one point called him “my nizzle” as a joke, and since Homicide apparently has no sense of humor it escalated into a blood feud from there.
– Christopher Daniels v. Jimmy Yang
Sadly no cool Yakuza white outfit for Yang tonight. Stalemate sequence to start and they trade headscissors on the mat, while the fans razz Allison Danger outside. Daniels gets an elbow for two and pounds on him with forearms, followed by a leg lariat for two. He sends Yang into the corner and follows with a backdrop suplex, and a high knee sends him back into the corner again. Slingshot moonsault gets two. Yang escapes a delayed suplex, however, and uses the leg choke on the ropes. Springboard dropkick as he comes back and tosses Daniels, and then sends him into the railing a couple of times. The fans’ requests for “one more time” is DENIED. Back in, that gets two. Leg lariat in the corner gets two. Yang goes to a facelock, forcing Daniels to slug out of it, and then Daniels’ crossbody attempt is blocked with a dropkick that gets two for Yang. We hit the chinlock and Daniels fights out of that, and gets an enzuigiri for the double KO. Daniels comes back with a backbreaker and a powerbomb for two. Daniels moonsaults away from a Yang move in the corner, but then falls victim to a moonsault press, showing that irony is a fickle mistress indeed. Yang goes up and gets caught, as Daniels brings him down with a backdrop superplex, into the Angel’s Wings for two. Koji Klutch in the middle and Yang is screwed but won’t tap, so the ref stops the match rather than have further damage be done.
(Christopher Daniels d. Jimmy Yang, ref stoppage, 12:14, **1/2) They never really clicked, and the result was pretty slow and tentative most of the way. Good finish, though.
– Low Ki & Samoa Joe v. Kenta Kobashi & Homicide
The idea here is that ROH wanted to put on the best match possible. Crazy concept, I know. I’m shocked that Joe’s chest is healed after the night before already. Kobashi and Homicide argue over who gets to start, and the result is Joe v. Kobashi II. Joe teases giving Kobashi a slap on the ropes, but gives him a clean break this time around. Kobashi also offers up a clean break. Joe overpowers Kobashi and kicks him out of the ring, following with a suicide dive to set it off early. Back in, Joe gets two. Joe starts throwing chops, which sets off another contest, and now Low Ki comes in to play. He throws the first chop at Kobashi and tells him to bring it. Oh, it’ll be brought, I’d bet. They head to the corner and Ki quickly catches him with a hanging arm submission in the ropes. Kobashi backs off from that. Kobashi starts working the arm, but Ki kicks back, out of a headstand, and Kobashi tags out to Homicide.
Apparently this is the first time Low Ki has met Homicide in ROH. They take it to the mat and neither guy goes down on a shoulderblock, so it’s test of strength time. They trade bridges to show their power, but Ki breaks Homicide’s bridge and it’s a detente. Joe comes back in and beats on him, hitting a kneedrop and kicking him in the corner. Homicide casually pokes him in the eye, leaving him open for Kobashi in the corner. And it’s time for the chops again, as the crowd goes quiet before each one as if bracing themselves just like Joe, which makes for neat atmosphere. Kobashi goes to a neck vice, but Joe makes the ropes, so Homicide comes back in again and Kobashi adds another chop on the way out. Elbow by Homicide knocks Joe down but looks like it hurt Homicide just as much, and in fact Joe just gets pissed and dropkicks him into the corner for Low Ki to deal with. Ki puts the boots to him, stomping on the taped shoulder, and they trade enzuigiris, leaving Homicide in control. Low Ki hits the floor and gets introduced to the back of Kobashi’s hand, and then he follows with a DDT on the ramp for fun. Back to ringside and Ki takes a chop hard enough that he falls into the crowd.
Back in, Homicide gets two off the ass-kicking, and Team Kobashi uses some timely ref distraction to double-team Low Ki while he’s in a camel clutch. I guess Samoa Joe doesn’t do many tag matches. Ki gets dumped and Homicide tries a dive, but Low Ki nails him in mid-move to prevent it, and that gets two. Now would be a good time to tag Joe, but he chooses to keep on offense instead, double-stomping his chest to block a sunset flip. Everyone is in and fighting, so Joe kicks Kobashi into a heap in the corner, and then gets the official tag from Ki.
Joe goes to work on the target on Homicide’s shoulder, headbutting it and dropping a knee on it for two. Atomic drop and he swats him down to block an Ace Crusher, and a death valley driver gets two. Back to the Joe corner, as they mercilessly trade high kicks on Homicide and Ki gets two. Homicide fights back with a swinging DDT out of the corner for two, and then they head back up and fight over a superplex. Homicide falls into the Tree of Woe, and then Low Ki FUCKS HIM UP with the Curb Stomp for two. Oh, DUDE, that’s SICK.
Back to Joe as Homicide should not be alive now, and he gets another swinging DDT to slow Joe down, and makes the hot tag to Kobashi. It’s chop city, population 2, as he gives some to both Ki and Joe in the corner at the same time, although not as many as the night before. Sleeper into a suplex for Joe, and he catches a diving Low Ki with one, too. Joe slugs it out and catches a powerslam for two, into a cross armbreaker, but Homicide breaks it up. Joe tosses him without much thought, and powerbombs Kobashi for two, into the STF, as he gets more dangerous while his mood gets worse. Kobashi makes the ropes. Joe drops him on his head with a Dangerous Backdrop Driver and the crowd is going nuts. As am I. I’d kill to be at a match like this live. Muscle Buster gets two. Back to Low Ki with Kobashi out, but he misses the double stomp. He recovers with a back kick for two, however, countering Kobashi’s counter of the Shining Wizard. Ki Crusher is blocked, but Ki dropkicks him anyway. Armbar submission is broken up by Homicide, who takes him out with an Ace Crusher while he hangs off Kobashi.
Ki hits Joe by mistake on a springboard kick, and Joe heads out and gets nailed by a Homicide dive, as we get closer to the finish. In the ring, Kobashi blocks a springboard elbow from Ki by bitchslapping him, and follows with a powerbomb for two. Orange Crush gets two, as Joe barely saves. Homicide takes Joe out, however, and he can’t save Ki from the lariat.
(Kenta Kobashi & Homicide d. Samoa Joe & Low Ki, Kobashi lariat — pin Low Ki, 26:21, *****) I mean, seriously, I’d have to sit here and pick through the match to find fault with it, so I might as well just cave to the inevitable and give it the full monty. If anyone has serious objection with that rating, that’s what the comments section is for, so go for it.
