50 cent’s new album is bound to go platinum. so formula 50 decided to go platinum too. not to be outdone, we are happy to announce the release of our own album, “hydrate or die tryin’.” all we need is one little shoutout at the MTV video music awards. suckaz be movin’ out of the way at them beverage conferences. plus, our drink has the nutrients you need to fuel you through the day. that’s just how we roll here in queens (NB: The Glacéau headquarters is located in Queens, New York).
—label on the bottle
In a world now chock full of health and energy drinks, the Glacéau company continues to stay competitive with its “vitaminwater” line, also supported by the “smartwater” and “fruitwater” varieties. For those of you unfamiliar with the “vitaminwater” product line, each of the 13 flavors, all of which contain electrolytes and a slew of vitamins, is named for its respective health benefit. For example, “energy”, the tropical-citrus flavor, contains guarana, ginseng and caffeine to provide an energy boost, while “defense”, the raspberry-apple flavor, contains zinc and extra Vitamin C to bolster the immune system.
“formula 50”, the grape flavor, claims that one 20-ounce bottle contains 50% of the daily recommended value of Vitamin C, Vitamin E, Vitamin B3, Vitamin B6, Folic Acid, Vitamin B12 and Vitamin B5. Essentially, you could drink two bottles of this stuff and you’d be set. The question is, would you even want to drink one…?
Prior to my testing of this beverage, I had only tried the lemonade-flavored “multi-v”, which I found to be light and refreshing, the orange-flavored “essential”, which I found to be bland and watered down, and the aforementioned “energy”, which was also pretty insipid. As far as “formula 50” is concerned, I liked it slightly less than the lemonade one and a little more than the other two. All of the “vitaminwater” varieties are sweetened with only crystalline fructose, as opposed to the sucrose syrup and high fructose corn syrup used to flavor rival beverages like Gatorade and Powerade. As a result, the sweetness is not as sharp, and for a lot of people it’s probably a lot easier to pound if you’re really thirsty. The grape flavoring is not overbearing, but at the same time it’s definitely prevalent. It’s probably not the most refreshing thing I could be drinking, as I recall the lemonade one was certainly superior there, as well as most of the Gatorade flavors. Moreover, drinking regular pure water is much crisper than any of them, and the same size bottle of pure water doesn’t contain 125 calories and 33 grams of sugar.
Save for the “multi-v”, I’m really not the biggest fan of what I’ve tried from the Glacéau line, and “formula 50” wasn’t the saving grace that it could’ve been. It isn’t as useless as the other two I’ve previously tried, but it’s just sort of there, like the drink equivalent of 3 Doors Down. They probably should’ve plugged it instead. Since this is supposed to geared towards health-conscious people, they’d more than likely ditch it due to the sugar and calorie counts. Plus, I honestly can’t see 50 Cent ever drinking this, whether it’s straight or mixed with Hypnotiq or Rémy Martin or whatever. The bottle doesn’t even look like 50 Cent, which was really disappointing. At the time of this review, Ryan T. Murphy and Mitch Michaels could not be reached for comment. Mathan Erhardt, on the other hand, said that this was the greatest thing he’s drank in the last 45 minutes, and proceeded to play his Cash Money instrumentals CD which he still claims is not an official Cash Money album.
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