Howdy Sports fans,
Here I am for this special mid-week edition of The Real Football Rant and Chant to give you all the results from Wednesday’s European Championship Qualifiers. Well, let’s not hang around here’s the results:
European Championship Qualifying
Group A
Azerbaijan 1 – 1 Kazakhstan
Armenia 0 – 1 Belgium
Finland 1 – 1 Portugal
Poland 1 – 1 Serbia
Man four games, five goals suggest this group is going to be fun to watch over the next year doesn’t it? Belgium just squeaked a victory out of Armenia; something that says an awful lot more about Belgium than it does about Armenia. Finland held Portugal to a 1-all draw, which is something of an upset whilst Serbia did the same to Poland, which is slightly less of an upset. All in all a pretty dull set of results that leaves two pretty dull teams in Finland and Serbia top with 4pts, Finland ahead on goal difference
Group B
France 3 – 1 Italy
Lithuania 1 – 2 Scotland
Ukraine 3 – 2 Georgia
Well the big game saw Italy’s poor start under Roberto Donadoni continue with France recording a comfortable 3-1 victory with Govou and Henry in the goals. I tell you what, if Italy match the seven game winless streak they endured after winning the 1982 World Cup then they could struggle to qualify from this group. Especially, as both Ukraine and Scotland are in good nick with Ukraine getting a hard fought win against Georgia whilst Scotland achieved a fantastic away victory at Lithuania thanks to a goal from beleaguered striker Kenny Miller. I sadly didn’t catch the game (bloody work) but a drunken guy in the pub assured me that it was a great game and that the Lithuanian goal was a beauty (he was certainly right about that). All this means that France and Scotland are on 6pts, with Scotland topping the table on goal difference.
Group C
Norway 2 – 0 Moldova
Turkey 2 – 0 Malta
Bosnia-Herzegovina 1 – 3 Hungary
Norway and Turkey win by 2 goals at home against countries whose name begins with M. Meh. More excitement was to be found in Bosnia as they lost 1-3 to former imperial masters Hungary* a result that leaves both teams level on 3pts with another former imperial master of Bosnia Turkey whilst Norway have 3pt cushion at the top.
*Okay I’m stretching the truth a bit to describe Hungary as Bosnia’s imperial masters but its fundamentally true.
Group D
Slovakia 0 – 3 Czech Republic
San Marino 0 – 13 Germany
Germany brought a f’ing nuke to their Turkey shoot as they MAULED poor San Marino 0-13 (0-6 at half time) with seven players scoring including a five goals from Podolski and braces from the Big Mean German Scoring Machine Klose, Hitzlsperger and Schweinsteiger. What was that we use to say about boring German football? Unsurprisingly, that was the biggest margin of victory in any European Championships Qualifying game. In the other game in Group F, the Czech Republic won the Bohemian derby in a 0-3 victory that must have been just too sweeeeet. Germany top Group D on, you guessed it, goal difference.
Group E
FYR Macedonia 0 – 1 England
Israel 4 – 1 Andorra
Russia 0 – 0 Croatia
England scraped to a dull and far too close for comfort 0-1 victory at Macedonia in a game that bore all the hallmarks of the old era that McClaren claims to be moving us away from. There was the same old lack of width, the same old piss-poor distribution from the back, the same old lack of possession in midfield and the same old falling deeper and deeper to hold a narrow lead. Still Haregreaves was a tiger in the centre of midfield, our defence was as good as ever and Peter Crouch scored an excellent goal to maintain his ridiculously good form. In the other games, Israel (who btw are my pick for second place, they did very well in the World Cup qualifiers in the toughest qualifying group) thrashed Andorra 4-1 whilst Gus Hiddink’s Russian Revolution got off to a drab start with a 1-all home draw at Croatia. England top Group E due to goal difference with Israel close behind, both are on 6pts
Group F
Sweden 3 – 1 Liechtenstein
Iceland 0 – 2 Denmark
Northern Ireland 3 – 2 Spain
Well the upset of the night, if not the year was Northern Ireland’s incredible victory against the superstar packed Spain. After the mauling they receive at the hands of Iceland Lawrie Sanchez’s men went back to basics with a high tempo, no nonsense, long ball game that caught the famous visitors unawares. The hero of the night was young Leeds United David Healy who scored a superb hat-trick with his final goal being an absolute peach; a wonderfully deft chip from 30yards out. This is only the second defeat Aragones has suffered as Spanish manager and the first was at the hands of eventual World Cup Finalists France. Also in Group F Denmark won the Scandinavian derby 2-0, but Sweden forced the pace with a 3-1 victory against mighty Liechtenstein to stay top with 6pts out of a possible 6pts.
Group G
Bulgaria 3 – 0 Slovenia
Albania 0 – 2 Romania
Holland 3 – 0 Belarus
Holland recovered from their disastrous 1-0 victory against Luxembourg (I mean seriously, who the hell can only put one past Luxembourg?) to defeat Belarus 3-0 with goals coming from the Premiership duo of Robert Van Persie and Dirk Kuyt, a result that send Holland top with 6pts. Bulgaria thrash Slovenia 3-0 in the Balkan derby whilst Romania get a hard fought win at Albania, who are always difficult to break down when they’re at home. Holland top the group with (yes you’ve guessed it) 6pts whilst Bulgaria and Romania are on 4pts.
Well that’s all the scores from this round of European Championship Qualifying. There’s no match report from the Brazil vs Wales game as it was a bit boring to be honest with Brazil fielding a B Team. Join me again on Monday (or maybe Tuesday, I might be delayed due to celebrating my 21st) for all the latest European footie news.
