Hey there! Remember me?
Yah, didn’t think so…
I had done SD a while back on this site for a spell, and I recently read on Papa Smark’s blog that IP was looking for a SD ranter, so here I am. Matt’s posting this for me until the site gets all new and shiny and stuff. I’ll get back to plugs and opening nonsense when that happens.
Here’s something funny: Since I tend not to mark my tapes, I noticed that I taped this weeks show over the first episode of SD I recapped last year. Freaky…
One world, two –
Oh wait, I should update that, huh…
THE POWER IS WATCHING…
THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN REVISIONIST HISTORY…
ATTITUDE has got POP…
Oh never mind…
We are TAPED from Columbus GA. Micheal Cole and JBL are bringing us the dulcet tones of Friday Night SmackDown! I rather like how UPN and WB combined both of their crappy networks into one BIG crappy network. That’s awfully considerate of them. Trouble is, I now have NO idea when Blind Date is on anymore. I should note that I haven’t really watched much wrestling since Eddie died, and the last show I watched was Judgment Day, which was ok, save the Vince/DX match. You know, I actually feel kind of lucky doing this show, because a quick scan of some recaps tell me that this angle is STILL going.
OMG! World Title on the line – Champ King Booker defends against Batista! Looks like I picked a good week to get back into this, no? We see a clip of SumemrSlam where Batista won, then the contract signing.
Jerk That Curtain, Baby! – Rey Mysterio vs Dave Finlay.
The little bastard is hiding out ringside. I mean the midget, not Cole. I won’t comment on the Rey/Chavo/Vickie thing; I’d like to keep my lunch. Cole tells me that Finlay lost the US belt to Ken Kennedy last week. I want to start a new chant: Finlay’s Gonna Kill You. A reverse atomic drop!
OLD SCHOOL BABY! Finlay is my hero by showing the rubes how “wrestling” is done. Cole and JBL wax about performing when there is a family crisis. You know, like exploiting someone’s good name. Finlay is just WHUPPIN Rey Rey. JBL: “SHOW YOUR SACK!” Indeed. 4 minutes in, and I love JBL on the mic already. Finlay goes for a cover, but Rey gets his foot on the ropes. Another cover, another two. Rey rolls out as we go to…
Commercials – Bowflex – “I’m 49 in a rock band and I have a bowflex body.” I should write a theme song for that.
Sept 22 is the season premiere of Friday Night SmackDown! Hey! I thought “Our season never ends??”
And we’re back. Rey is back in the ring. Finlay uses the DOUBLE TONGAN DEATH GRIP, but Rey fights back. Rey gets two. Rey in the TREE OF WOE! HE’S CLUBBERIN TONY, HE BE CLUBBERIN! Finaly counters a headscissors into a backbreaker for two. I want to like this match, but it’s SO DAMN SLOW. More punishment in the corner by Finaly. SAMOAN BUTT SPLASH. On the back of Rey that is. WALLS OF JERICHO by Finlay! Well, Jericho’s not around anymore, so why not? Into a Boston crab. Rey tries to kick out, but Finaly pounds him down some more. Rey makes the ropes and Finaly has to break. Rey makes the comeback and gets two. Seated Senton gets two. Drop toe hold sets up the 619, but Rey screws up a spot. Finlay makes the cover and wins! A 14 minute match that went about 10 minutes too long. (*, because Finlay gets that just for beating the hell out of anyone)
Post match, JBL harasses Rey about his loss. Rey looks like he’s about to cry, then leaves without any answer to the question:
Back to business – the world title! What were we just watching then?
Commercials – Three Wooden Crosses by Time Life – OMG! Wynnona Judd ate her mom! And Ann Wilson. Yikes.
WWE Mag previews The Marine.
Jobbers on TV in the New Millennium – US Champion Ken Kennedy vs Some Guy.
Ken does his intro and runs down the accomplishments of Some Guy, known as Danny Giamando. Cole actually makes a good point, telling JBL that he (Cole) really IS a broadcast journalist. Hate him if you want, but it’s true. Kennedy takes over right away. Punch, kick, neck twist. Lather, rinse repeat. Some Guy misses the blind charge after a brief comeback, so Kennedy hooks him into the rolling Samoan Drop from the second rope for the three. Welcome to Squashville. Population, Some Guy. (DUD)
Post match, Ken calls out Teddy Long and lets him know that since Cena can potentially come to SD, and Ken has beaten everyone here, he can potentially go to RAW. But Teddy sets up Ken vs Taker at No Mercy.
Yes, you read that right. Ken Kennedy vs Undertaker at No Mercy.
Kennedy vs Taker.
Ok, did the bookers get RVD’s stash? Because I want some of THAT.
Commercials. – Local spot for a gift shop in Orleans County. I’m not sure this is the right audience for this…
A short behind the scenes fluff piece on “The Marine”. Acton wise, it doesn’t look any worse than Rock’s movies, but the dialog sounds AWFUL. It comes out October 13th. Save your $8 and come to http://www.pawfectfilms.com for the Second Season premiere of PEDS.
I’ll be SHOCKED if that stays in.
Six Person Mixed Tag Team Match – Ashley, Tag Champs Paul London and
Brian Kendrick vs Michelle McCool, KC James and Idol Stevens.
Is it me or does McCool look WAY less hot than when she started? Champs control for a while, and Ashley even tags in, but tags back out after a double axe from the top. JBL compares KC James to Bobby Eaton. Um, no. Not even CLOSE. London ends up outside as the heels take over. Now Michelle makes a tag paintbrushes London a few times before tagging back out. Cute. Nice heel teamwork by KC and Idol during the headlock sequence, breathing a bit of life into this otherwise bland team.
London makes a small comeback, and dives for the tag! Pretty smart, actually. Kendrick is a HOUSE OF SPANK! He clears the ring but Michelle comes into stop a dive to the outside. Brian says f-it and goes around her. Now Ashley comes in and it’s a CATFIGHT CATFIGHT CATFIGHT! Interesting to note that Michelle’s panty shot was blurred out – did we miss some toe? Anyway, while KC tries to pull Ashley off Michelle, Kendrick goes up for a sunset flip. Spanky can’t flip him down, so London come in for a Dropsault and it’s a win for the champs. (** Short but peppy little match)
An inside look at King Booker.
Commercials. These Snapalope commercials are kind of nifty. I seem to be hooked on the Tobasco ones; It’s like crack on a stick. (No Eric, I really don’t want to know what’s in them, so don’t spoil of for me!)
Vito drops by ringside to chat. JBL gets all freaked out and sulks.
William Regal comes down to make a challenge. He wants to show Vito how a REAL man would conduct himself. You know, they need to bring back Regal’s “He’s a Real Man’s Man” theme from late 1998.
Angle Advancement Match (TM Eric S.) – Sir William Regal vs Bobby Lashley.
I like the “intense but cool” attitude Lashley has as opposed to the “roid rage” attitude he had before. It just seems more believable, and makes Lashley look more like a veteran than he actually is. This is ALL Bobby here. Vito is not too bad getting his character over. Regal winds up outside, so Vito shoves his ass in Regal’s face. Lovely, glad they had the sense to blur THAT out as well. And they say the INTERNET is for porn. Sheesh. Lashley climbs the steps to get back in the ring, but Regal pulls his leg out from his leg and takes over. Regal almost has a Cobra Clutch on, but not quite. URANAGE! Whoops, sorry. Regal gets two. Regal eats boot on a BLIND charge, and Lashley takes over. Bobby is looking to finish, but Regal wiggles out, only to get speared into next week. (*1/2. This was more about Regal/Vito than the match shown.)
Post match, Vito tries to make nice with JBL, but JBL ain’t having it.
Commercials. Whoever has been pitching ideas for Burger King commercials the past two years need to be flogged.
The Miz comes out to brag about winning last week. V2 interrupts and it’s ON.
Talent Enhancement 101 – The Miz vs Matt Hardy.
Matt gets quite the reaction here. So is Miz a face or a heel? I can’t tell. JBL is treating him as a face, but he’s being booked as a heel in the match. TWEENERS: it’s what’s for dinner. JBL is right; he DOES kind of look like a modern day Red Rooster. Hardy works the arm, but Miz gets a handful of hair to take him down. And he does a stupid dance. Or has a seizure. Or something. Crap, I dunno. Hardy clotheslines his head off and gets two off a mini powerbomb/drop. Miz makes a comeback and does a nifty little plant off Hardy’s back over the top and hangmans him on the way down. It gets two. Miz does a snapmare, then hooks a headlock with the arm inside (whadaya call that anyway?). MOVESET. Woah. Reply shows the move I described above, for those that missed that part of the recap. Hardy makes a comeback of his own and does the YODELING ELBOW! Side Effect gets two. Miz winds up outside, so Hardy launches his haunches over the top to the floor. Miz is sent back in, but he rolls over the ref’s ankle, making him squirm in mild discomfort. Hardy goes up, but Sugar Shane Helms comes down and pushes Hardy off the top so Miz can roll him up for the win. The Miz is 2-0. Hoo-rah? (1/2*. As he was coming out at the beginning of the match, Matt looked like he knew he was putting Miz over.)
Tonight – Wold Heavyweight Championship!!! We friggin’ know!
Commercials.
Jimmy Wang Yang has a vignette. Good freaking grief. If you didn’t know, he’s playing a cowboy. A really REDNECK cowboy. Well, you know about Vince and his “Southern Gimmicks” so you can probably imagine what THIS was like.
To up the tasteless scale, Chavo’s new business manager HEEL Vickie comes out to introduce Chavo.
Legacy? What Legacy? – Chavo Guerrero vs Tatanka.
Well, at least they’re getting all the stuff that could possibly offend someone into one segment. Points for that, I guess. They do a little mat work to start, and Tatanka works the arm. Chavo kicks Tatanka around after a dropkick. Cripes, my SISTER can kick harder than that. Chavo does a neat looking grapevine of the leg in a bridge for two. It looked WAY cooler than I just described it though. Chavo works over the leg, a LOT. Tatanka takes over with a faceplant and a BAAAAAAAAACK body drop. Chop Chop Choppy! Lucha Tatanka flies off the top with a Tomahawk chop for two. Chavo tires a comeback, but Tatanka hits a Samoan Drop for two. Ok, that move is getting a little played tonight. While Tatanka jaws with the ref (No, WE want that 20 foot street in Buffalo, or NO CASINO), Chavo sneaks up and bulldogs him down. Chavo goes up for a VERY weak looking frogsplash and the win. Tatanka had his working boots on tonight! Good for him! That alone dragged this out of DUD territory, but not by much. (*)
Backstage, some guy (MVP) chats with Teddy about getting tickets. He blabbers about his contract negotiations, but wants one dollar more than Cena. Um, ok. I guess I’ll find out more about the Godfath- er, this guy in the coming weeks.
Cole and JBL hype up the Main one more time.
A look at Batista. I’ll probably complain about the booking and (lack of) entertainment, but the video production team is still outstanding. Both Booker’s and Batista’s video packages were very well done.
Commercials. PSP – Pooping on people’s heads CAN be entertaining, if you get the angle of the dangle right…
Not that’d I’d know anything about that.
ECW in Niagara Falls??? The Conference Center? Well, it’s a five minute walk, so I just might go. $25 seems a bit steep for a cheap seat, but it’ll be interesting to see what kind of reaction the show gets. On the other hand, I don’t know if I want to be stuck in the same room for 3 hours with 2500 idiots from this town.
World Heavyweight Championship – King Booker vs Batista. Booker tells Dave that he can bow down and walk away or take a royal ass whuppin. Tell ’em Book! Dave asks if Booker would like his body buried or cremated. I ask “WTF???” All this and the intros eat up this segment , so we go to …
Commercials. During the break, a call to my buddy informs me that the Conference Center is indeed the Old Falls Street Faire (now THERE’s a nice, long disaster story), updated with millions of dollars in upgrades. Hmmm, go figure.
World Heavyweight Championship – King Booker vs Batista – For REAL!
Just a side note before we start; I’m a BIG Booker T. fan and couldn’t be happier to see his recent success. So I may be a bit biased here. Just a warning. They fight over a lockup and Booker breaks with Dave on the ropes. Lockup again, this time Dave breaks. Dave takes over and weird cut to Sharmel must have covered a botched spot, as it looked like Dave was going to pick him up for something. Dave works a hammer lock a bit, then does the shoulder blocks in the corner spot. Sloppy suplex gets two. Booker gets clotheslined outside and Dave works him over there too. Back and Dave gets two. Back to the hammer lock, but Booker elbows out. He misses the spin kick and Dave hits him with a mini spear for two. Another weird edit sees Dave rising with Booker from a hammer lock. Maybe this match went way longer than it should have, and they cut the rest holds? Anyway, a doe-see-doe to the corner see Dave miss a clothesline and walking into a BOOKEND for two! But Dave powers out WITH AUTHORITY (Cole’s call, not mine) and we go to our last…
Commercials.
We’re back and Dave is pounding on Booker on the outside. Sharmel distracts Dave long enough for Booker to go low and then run Dave’s shoulder to the post. Cole mentions that it’s “hard not to be distracted when someone is jumping on your back and pounding on your solar plexus.” Nice editing guys, since we never even saw that part. Dorks. Anyway, Booker pounds on Dave some more on the outside, followed by a scissor kick on the apron. Neat! Dave makes it back in by 8, but Booker stomps and kicks some more. Sidewalk slam gets two. Booker shucks and jives while Dave recovers, and nails him with a superkick to the chest for two. Booker works him over some more, but Batista charges out of the corner with a clothesline. Here, have two more! Sidewalk slam gets two.
Did we hit the limit on the number of different moves we can see tonight? Dave hits a JACKHAMMER(??!) but doesn’t cover. Dave celebrates, which is ALWAYS a bad move unless you’re on a major PPV. Booker tosses Dave out by the trunks to get a breather. Sharmel distracts the ref (Nick Patrick BTW, who is probably the best ref in the business today) while Dave recovers. As he does, William Regal pops up from the barricade to nail Dave with the POWER OF THE PUNCH, but Dave fights him off. Dave is back in and hits a spinbuster on Booker. Sharmel says “oh pooh” and grabs a chair, heading into the ring. Dave stops her and gives her the thumbs down sign, While Patrick gets Sharmel out of the ring, Dave ducks Booker clothesline, but not Finlay with his Shelayly Shenanigans, who bops Dave on the noggin. Booker retains. ALL HAIL KING BOOKER!!! (*** Decent main event TV match, carried by the champ. When he’s motivated, Booker can be pretty friggin awesome.)
Post match, Batista gets worked over by Finlay. Finlay: “You don’t know what you’re in for Batista! I am your worst nightmare!”
A replay of the first Shelayly shot and Booker gets the win. Batista is busted wide open BUT WE’RE OUT OF TIME-
The wrestling was practically non-existent this week, save the short bit of light we saw in the mixed tag match and the decent main event. Looks like DAVE is getting pushed down the card a bit, or is the start of a build to WrestleMania? Find out next week with Smack THIS!
Discuss the latest edition of Smackdown in the Smack THIS! thread in our wrestling forum!
