TNA: In the Zone for 9/7/06
Greetings fair readers, once again Dougie is here to rant to you about the state of wrestling. Nah, not really I ranted enough last week, and this week I’m just gonna talk a little bit about TNA. IMPACT was not very impressive this week, having ONE good match, so I don’t expect that this will be a long column. I hear you now, “Yay, he’s gonna shut up!”
Maybe I will… We’ll see.
So, this week they are going to have Jeff Jarrett take a lie detector test, huh? Do they think that we are all marks? I understand that this is just a storyline, but I like to be treated like the intelligent person that I am, and this offends me a little. Apparently Eric Young, knowing more about having his job in jeopardy than anyone, is going to help JJ pass the test. EY also looks like he soaked his head in crude oil.
LAX is out, and they are taking on the Mack Brothers. I have never heard of these guys before, but there was a time when I had never heard of the Hardy Boys either…
These guys are no Hardy Boys. They do work well here, as they get squashed. They carry off LAX’s moves well. I guess that’s something. I hate squash matches. It makes the squash-ie look like they are nothing, and the squash-er looks weak, because they beat someone who was nothing. With few exceptions, squash matches are BAD for everyone.
The Ultimate X setup is already built, and Styles and Daniels come out after LAX is through killing the Macks. They show us that Ultimate X is THEIR match. This should be a good one.
Bobby Roode is still looking for a manager. Yay. This week, however, he turns to the best manager EVER! Bobby “the Brain” Heenan. Younger fans might not know this, but there was a time when this guy was magic. Life and illness have taken a LOT from Heenan, but they haven’t taken his SPARK. (Bobby Heenan TRANSFORM!) The list of people that Heenan has managed reads like a who’s who of professional wrestling. Right now, Roode just isn’t in their league.
In the back, the X-Division guys are watching Jackass 2. Knoxville musta cut a BIG check to get his signage everywhere. Maybe he sprang for the nice TVs.
Next up we get the worst 8 man tag match ever, as AMW teams with Maverick Matt and Kazarian to take on Shark-Boy, Norman Smiley, and the James Gang. I hate that Bentley and Kaz are treated like jobbers here, and don’t even get an intro, while we waste TV time with Jeff Jarrett’s polygraph. Amongst all of this, the crowd is chanting for NORMAN. Hell yeah! Awesome.
James Storm gets mad at Harris again, for stealing his thunder and getting the pin. Harris gives Storm a two fisted Austin, and bails.
More time wasting. This polygraph thing is KILLING this show for me. Having JJ involved is keeping me from enjoying Eric’s comedy. It’s laborious to watch.
The sacrifices I make for you people. I don’t know if I’m appreciated enough.
Oh wait, there’s another match! Christian Cage versus the Truth. It seems that Ron has made it another week without being granted his release. These two are WELL suited to working together, and this match is damn good. Cage cheats to win, of course, hitting a low blow followed by the Un-Prettier. Both of these guys were good here. Both were in their element. Rhino comes in to stop the Con-Chair-To. Thus continuing their feud. Good stuff here.
We finish the show by finding out that JJ is a liar. Well no shit. His reward? A match with Samoa F’n Joe! And what’s more, the fans get to be lumberjacks, and each one will be issued a leather strap! That is so awesome. That may be the most awesome thing I have ever heard. To bad it’s a work.
Well, no one person really stood out to me this week, but because I miss having the old bastard in my life, and seeing him tonight reminded me of this, Bobby “the Brain” Heenan is In The Zone.
Hell yeah! Don’t agree? Go watch some old WWF (when it was still an F) videos and shut the F up!
Dougie
icarusfallz@yahoo.com
