This season’s finale had great performances and abrupt elimations. I still can’t get over Brooke Burke and how the hell she got this gig. Ugh.
Magni was eliminated tout de suite (no surprise there). And, I believe he was the favorite bud among the contestants. For some reason, they all wanted him to jam with him onstage. There was something magical about Magni and Toby that had a persuasive leadership quality about them, who also seemed to become BFFs… kinda like the Chris Daughtry/Ace Young Idol combo. They both were non-combative and convinced all the other brats in the house to quit crying if they didn’t get the song they wanted. In a David Blaine-like illusion, they could convince the Jills and the Luke-asses to sing a song they didn’t want to sing without them even realizing that he just made the Statue of Liberty disappear… oh, wait… that was Copperfield.
Speaking of disappear. And shock. And disbelief…TOBY? The crowd favorite? Pretty boy? Guys, guys, guys. (I’m speaking to SuperNova) You’re not the beauty queens you once were. You’re gonna need a pretty face to bring in the babes. Oh, wait, I get it. You still want to get laid and if you choose Toby, he’ll get all the chicks. Now, it all makes sense. Selfish old rockers.
And there stood the final 2: Dilana and Luke-ass. Tommy Lee was right. It did look like a goth wedding…in Munchkinland.
It’s no secret that Dilana sealed her fate a few weeks back with her negative attitude, and it landed her in the bottom three. Since then, she’s been brown-nosing the nation like Eddie Haskell. And I wasn’t buying it. I would, however, buy a ticket to see Toby. And after the decision was made, the guys from SuperNova brown-nosed right back…”Please join us on tour”… “Oh, Dilana, I’ll write and produce your album for you”… “and Dilana, I’ll be more than happy to play guitar on the album”… “and I’ll detail your car for you”…”and I’ll make your clothes out of hotel draperies”.
So they crowned the largest forehead in all of the land, Luke-ass Rossi. Methinks that crown will be custom made to fit ye grande forehead. So Lukas, his quivering, screaming voice (that Jason never liked) and his skunk-punk hair are going to be at The Joint at the Hard Rock in Vegas on New Year’s Eve. Have fun. I won’t be there. Unless they invite me backstage and Toby proposes to me and we run off to the Little Church of the West and get married by Elvis.
And Dilana will be recording her album with most of the guys from SuperNova and be a spokesmodel for children’s punk rock line for Kate Spade.
Magni will become the biggest rocker in Iceland and the new Mr. Clean.
Storm Large will pose in Playboy.
Ryan Star will marry Britney Spears after she divorces K-Fed.
And they all lived happily ever after.
