Willlburrr.
Stephan Bonnar, as reported by MMAWeekly and commented on by our own Reverend Sick, tested positive for steroids following his UFC 62 bout with Forrest Griffin.
The substance found in his system was, as I’m sure you’ve heard by now, Boldenone Metabolite, which is used to rehabilitate injured horses.
It’s no laughing matter, as anabolic steroids on the whole are illegal and dangerous. Furthermore, Stephan Bonnar is facing a pending suspension and a fine of up to $250,000.
Even so, Sick’s reply didn’t include near enough horse jokes. So let’s re-examine the situation.
Stephan Bonnar took steroids intended for horses. Stephan Bonnar lost his fight against a human anyway and didn’t even make a tremendously good showing of it. Is this surprising? No. Horses rarely train MMA. Horses can’t even throw a decent punch. If Bonnar had consistently tried more back kicks, this all would’ve made infinitely more sense and we wouldn’t even be having this conversation.
International Fight League!
In news that I’m not going to make fun of, the International Fight League’s upcoming September 9th event features Matt Lindland vs. Jeremy Horn in Team Quest’s home of Portland, Oregon.
This is where you say, “Shelly, don’t you live near Portland and have completely rational MMA-based love for Matt Lindland? Are you going?” Sadly, no. No I am not going. I’m out of town, and by the time I get back into town, it’ll only be to move to Seattle. But don’t worry, the move won’t displace my Team Quest love and inspire affection for Josh Barnett or anything. That I can promise.
Lindland vs. Horn will be contested at 185 lbs. If you’re wondering about Lindland’s WFA contract obligations, Lindland told us post-King of the Streets that he is allowed to fight in the IFL provided that the bout isn’t televised on pay-per-view.
The card also features Maurice Smith’s Tiger Sharks vs. Matt Lindland’s Wolfpack, and Bas Rutten’s Anacondas vs. Antonio Inoki’s Sabres. The full card for the event is available on the IFL website.
TUF4: Episode 4: A Commentary:
As you may know, I wrote the recaps for TUF3. Trent Pusey has taken over the recapping for season 4. I’ve been given clearance to type a few brief statements that sum up my thoughts on tonight’s show.
1. That staph infection madness is crazy. I really hope they get that cleared up efficiently. Staph infections, unlike horse steroids, really aren’t funny.
2. You have to be a special kind of stupid to ramble on and on about how you’re homeless and this competition is your last shot to get your life together and then allow yourself to get into a bad situation and get sent home, knowing full well that the production team is going to edit the episode in such a way as to make you look like a complete dolt. Which you would be, because you let that happen.
3. Patrick Cote is the best looking guy in the house and he’s been shirtless a total of two times in four episodes. I counted. Everyone else runs around naked all the time. Am I missing something? Is he Mormon?
4. The fight, unfortunately, seemed like an afterthought. All of this Jackson-getting-sent-home, Cote-getting-infected-and-can’t-fight business overshadowed the fact that there’s a real competition going on here. Not that that fight would’ve led you to believe that there is, in fact, real competition going on. Maybe next week will see better times.
In closing, be sure to read Gordi’s preview of the finals of the Pride Open Weight Grand Prix, which is happening this weekend. I hope you’re all as excited as I am.
