So the time has come to wrap up another edition of Big Brother, with this year’s version being an ill-advised “all star” cast, created by shady voting practices and featuring only one former winner in its ranks. Really, the whole thing seemed to be there for two purposes:
1) Advertise Dr. Will and Mike Boogie’s bar.
2) Give Janelle a national forum to show off her boobs and advance her career.
I certainly can’t judge whether “all star” editions of reality shows are usually any good, since I didn’t watch Survivor‘s attempt at it and can’t recall anyone else taking a shot at it, but for me, this one didn’t work in the end.
The Contestants
Really, most of the thrill of this show is learning about the new victims, cooped up in the same house together for two months and going crazy as a result. Here, we already knew everyone and there was little suspense as to their motivations or potential actions.
– Allison. Well, she was the first voted out, and there’s little more you can say about her on this show. Played her hand WAY too soon and paid for it. Had she stuck around, her potential for craziness might have been fun, but it wasn’t to be.
– Nakomis. She seemed totally out of place with all the pretty people that generally inhabit this show, and obviously her heart wasn’t in it this year. Her brother Michael would have been a better choice, probably.
– Jase. The prettiest of the pretty boys, but again his heart wasn’t in it, and he was more concerned with being a good father than being a slimy jerk. Even worse for him, he played both sides against each other, and got caught. Not entertaining enough to stick around this year, anyway.
– Diane. She wasn’t subtle about expressing her reasons for wanting to win the game: Money. Sure, that’s why everyone is there, but being broke and living in LA isn’t a great reason to make everyone keep you around. Maybe try moving somewhere cheaper? Good riddance to her.
– Kaysar. Another case of someone not playing with his heart in it, I’m frankly surprised he didn’t get punted out earlier than he did, given the subpar nature of his game this time around. He was a guy who just didn’t seem to care, and he made the safe plays rather than the smart ones. All logic said that getting rid of Chilltown early on was the right move to make, but instead he (and the rest of the season 6 alliance) got caught up in the “us v. them” philosophy of playing the game that dominated season 6. Making peace with Will came too little, too late for him, and he didn’t even make it to sequester. Kaysar, my favorite player from season 6, was a major disappointment this time around.
– Marcellas. Biggest whiner in the house and the first to make it to the jury, he was mainly notable for his crush on Kaysar and hypocritical alliance-shifting. Even the generous editing of CBS couldn’t totally make him sound like a man instead of a woman with PMS, as he spent most of his time lounging around in his robe and being all gay. Bitchy I can deal with, boring I can’t.
– Howie. Probably the most purely entertaining member of the cast this year, but a guy who took stuff far too personally, and much like Kaysar, couldn’t adapt his game to the new realities of the house. He failed to win any HOH competitions, but not for lack of trying, and that was his undoing. Everyone loved the guy, but he was clearly Janelle’s puppet and had no game of his own to work with. I like him a lot, but he wasn’t going to win and deserved to be voted off.
– James. Last year’s veto king was exposed for the world to see this year, and the results weren’t pretty. Although two-timing your friends is an expected part of the game, complaining incessantly about both sides isn’t. Will, as usual, had it right with regards to him — he’s a good guy to have on your side, but dump him before the going gets rough, because you can’t trust him. Again, James made the worst error you can: He played both sides, and got caught. I was happy to see him go once he left.
– Danielle. One of the better manipulators and also one of the best at talking her way out of trouble, it was looking like another case of playing her hand too soon in the first week, but she recovered and gave everyone a run for their money by being dangerous enough to influence the game, but not threatening enough to overshadow Chilltown. However, her breakdown in the last week before her eviction sucked away all sympathy for her, and it was clearly time for her to go home when she did. The image of her ringing the doorbell for minutes on end will probably be stuck with her for a while.
– Chicken George. Not exactly a master manipulator or anything, but he stuck around way past the point when anyone thought he would, simply by being a nice guy and not threatening anyone. He was a classy player who did whatever he needed to survive, and I’m glad he did so well. However, he wasn’t an all-star, and making it into the finals would have been a travesty.
– Dr. Will. The best player in Big Brother history, because he understood that it’s a social game and not a competitive one. He engineered all the evictions, and ended up being too smart for his own good and essentially engineered his own. He played the game on a different level than everyone who came before him, played with him, or played after him, and the game should have been his for the taking, and he would have gotten away with it, if it hadn’t have been for those meddling girls. Although he was brilliant, he failed to heed the most important lesson: WOMEN TALK.
– Janelle. The flipside of Dr. Will, the ying to his yang if you will. While he was skilled at the psychological aspects of the game, she was all about the brute force. Win the HOH, face the retaliation the next week, win the Veto to save herself, lather rince repeat. Even with the entire house gunning for her, she managed to evade them all and made the smartest decision of her life by partnering with Dr. Will for what should have been the ultimate showdown in the finals. I bet CBS wishes it would have been. Sadly, despite her massive popularity and the best efforts of the producers to make sure all the games were tailored to her, she couldn’t pull it out in the most important HOH contest — the last one — and by being such a great player, she guaranteed that neither person was going to take her to the finals, where it would be a sure loss for them. She went in a true all-star, and left a bigger star. My hat is off to her.
– Erika. She made it all the way to the finals by slipping under everyone’s radar and hiding behind Chilltown’s bigger shadow, and her continuous and creepy stalking of Mike Boogie left me with little respect for her by the end. I mean, Mike Boogie? Have some self-esteem, woman! She seemed to provide little more than gratuitous bikini shots to the show, and the ridiculous “show-mance” with Boogie was tiresome from the moment it started. Still, she lied and evaded her way to the finals, so you can’t fault her gameplan, I guess.
– Mike Boogie. Worst finalist ever. He’s nothing but a parasite who couldn’t wipe his ass without Will’s go-ahead, and who lucked into the finals after riding on the coattails of his friend and business partner. If not for a lucky win in the final HOH contest, he would have been booted out into the #3 position by the girls instead of winning $500,000 because Will managed to rig the jury vote in his behalf. Assuming he won, as this is being written shortly before the finale. He got special treatment, special editing and special storylines for himself and his alliances from day one, and yet he remained a sleazy and dull character throughout the show’s run. I’m sure he’ll use the money to further advertise his bar. Oh wait, he already got tons of free advertising by wearing his stupid shirts on every show. Brrring brrrring, call from me Mike — you suck and didn’t deserve to win.
The Good
There were some neat innovations this year, as a result of a new crop of writers and producers taking over the show, but the non-scripted nature of the show itself meant that all of them didn’t work out the way they wanted. I liked the idea behind the Coup D’Etat, for instance, but it never came into play and the clues were retarded. Since when is “You reap what you sow” a well-known phrase about Big Brother, anyway? Also, the “fast forward” weeks, inserted to speed up the show, made for much better TV and eliminated the boring Sunday shows where nothing would happen. That concept should carry over if they do another year. In fact, they should double the amount of contestants and do twice as many evictions per week to really make it a breakneck pace and keep everyone in the house on their toes.
The Bad
As noted, the Coup clues were silly and had little to do with the game. The pacing was terrible this year, with the Sunday food competition shows in particular being totally skippable. The editing was ludicrous, as they tried to make storylines out of unrelated things going on in the house, leaving people who paid for the feeds scratching their heads over what they were watching on TV. Things were shown out of context, out of continuity, or plain out of order. In short, the show wasn’t compelling until the end, at which point the people who things were built around got voted out, leaving a finale that no one wanted to see.
Was this season a success? Ratings-wise, no. It did good, but not what CBS wanted, and obviously further shake-ups will be in order next year, deservedly so. Janelle and Dr. Will should probably host, for one thing. From an entertainment standpoint, it definitely had its moments, most of which were the drama surrounding Chilltown and the blind eye that everyone seemed to turn towards them for reasons that must say a lot about Will’s brilliance as a manipulator. Assuming we get another season, changes are needed, and I’m worried we’ll get more Mark Burnett-style fake drama twists instead of real innovations.
Until next season…
