Welcome to Unforgiven everyone. Are you ready?
FOR THE REPORT THAT TALKS TO THE TV
IT’S THE
M O N D A Y
N I G H T
R A B B L E
We have joined here at the House That Hatton Built with friends and family alike to enjoy what could be the most populated show since Wrestlemania.. why did everyone come? We don’t know – we assume it was the pizza and soda.
So joining us on this journey into the depths issssssssssss:
JEFFREY
MIKE
MIGHTY
GINNY
HERNANDEZ
JENNA
ERIC
BILL
DANI
They introduce the spanish announcers.
“You know we’re going to get launched on tonight” – Me
“Our table is immenantly replaceable” – Bill
And just as Mike called it, we’re starting with the Intercontinental Title match!
Here comes Melina and Johnny Nitro! He slides right in…
“KNOCK HER DOWN KNOCK HER DOWN!” – Jeffrey
Nope, sadly night tonight.
And here comes Hardy
“Weighing in at three tabs.” – Me
NITRO vs. HARDY
Curtain Jerkin High Flyin
Lock up to start and Hardy pushes him to the corner. Ref stops it. Back in and lock up again. Nitro rolls him out this time… and the Nitro sucks chant begins!
Sideheadlock from Hardy – to the ropes he goes and shoulder drops him. Hiptoss blocked by Johnny, blocked and reversed to the ropes goes Nitro and the armdrag from Hardy.
Hardy gets thrown to the ropes, slides beneath Nitro’s legs and ANOTHER armdrag into the armbar. Nitro pushes him into the corner, and a leap from Hardy over Nitro INTO another armdrag. Nitro kicks him out, and tosses Hardy to the ropes. Nitro drops to try for a roll-up, but Hardy rolls him out into HIS own pin for two.
Hardy grabs him for a roll-up for two and Nitro bails with Melina. Nitro finally gets in and shoves Hardy into the corner – there is some back and forth until finally Hardy gets up to the top for the ten punches of doom… hits seven and goes to the top himself – sets up for the Swanton – but Nitro bails. 2nd Rope dropkick sends Nitro out to Melina.
Hardy runs the rail for a big crossbody. Back in the ring, Hardy climbs to the top and a high impact dropkick goes right into Hardy’s leg.. he bounces off the turnbuckle and to the ring.
“Shades of Owen Hart right there” – Bill
Nitro now has Hardy in the corner – working the knee… Hardy pushes him out a few times, but Nitro keeps going back in. Nitro holds his leg, ducks an enzuigiri and locks the leg – goes for a pin – two only. He steps on his toe and SNAPKICKS his knee.
“Who uses a shoe?! You fight like a woman!” – Me
Holding onto the rope now – Hardy gets to his feet – Nitro sweeps the leg.
“GET HIM A BODYBAG!” – Me
Lots of leg attacks from Nitro.
“Everyone in the crowd… ‘what’s this all aboot?'” – Bill
“Such a cheap joke.” – Me
So Nitro finally goes to the top rope.
“MISS MISS – DO THE WHIFF IN THE WIND!” – Hernandez
And he leaps – corkscrew MISS… and now they are both fighting to their feet.
“Hey look the ref can count” – Mighty
He does in fact count – and at 8 they get up. THere is a lil leg combo from Hardy ending in a double legdrop pin for two. All of a sudden Hardy sells that leg like a trooper. Nitro spins to his back and they go for an atomic, but he can’t get Hardy up!? Strange… Hardy gets pushed to the corner, throws a back elbow and then HITS the corkscrew!
So some stuff happens… nobody cares what it is, but it ends with Hardy on the top turnbuckle, Nitro running in and going for a Rana…. well, he falls. Yes.. Falls.. we don’t get it either. Swanton – and Nitro’s legs on the rope to stop the count.
Now Nitro starts working on the legs again – but a spinning back dropkick from Hardy. Nitro stops a pin with a leg lock.
“If he taps to this, I’m leaving now” – Mike
Hardy catches ropes though. Nitro goes for his legs – Hardy kicks out.
“He got R2 off” – Me
“From a sci-fi point of view, that’s really dirty!” – Hernandez
He BWAPS Melina by accident for his own roll-up but only gets two. Hardy gets to his feet and throws Nitro into the corner. Nitro leaps for a rana or some sort and Hardy powerbombs him down. Hardy goes for the pin – but Melina HITS HIM WITH A SHOE!??!?!
Oh christ – that’s the end of it…
“LAAAHAAAAAME” – Hernandez
WINNER: JOHNNY NITRO
Hey The Marine.
“THAT’S THE GUY FROM T2” – Mighty
“Umm… yes it is.” – Me
Teddy Long is in the skybox. Matt Hardy is in the back asking how Jeff’s doing! Nice! Lita shows up! She trashtalks them as we all walk giggling girlishly.
“How are you guys doing without titles..” – Lita
“TAKE HER BELT!” – Bill
Oh.. now it’s Umaga…
“Who is he facing?” – Hernandez
“Kane.. in the most developed storyline ever.” – Bill
In the ring – Alejandro.. Hahaaaaah
“He’s ready for a long match – he’s got four cigars” – Me
He introduces himself – Bill pops.
Kane’s pyro goes off… hey look, Kane’s pyro!
“MAY 19th!” – Hernandez
“You know why Kane’s upset all the time? He has to shave his eyebrows..” – Jeffrey
“And he has to wear one contact…” – Bill
“Yeah, he’s blind in one eye.” – Jeffrey
UMAGA vs. KANE
Kane begins fighting it out hard. Umaga returns with it.. Umaga hits the rope, but eats a boot. Kane hits the ropes but a flying sidekick drops him… as he sits up – Umaga clotheslines him over the top.
Umaga follows him out and a HUGE hit from Kane.
“DUDE YOU LOOSENED MY GRILL!” – Bill
Umaga hits a huge clothesline. Drags Kane back in and a dropping headbutt. There’s an UMAGA chant…
“Why is there an Umaga chant?” – Me
“They’re just happy to see another Samoan.” – Jeffrey
“They are in Canada… they are happy to see a darker person.” – Me
Umaga hits a shining wizard!??!
“That was a shining crotch wizard…” – Hernandez
“MMmmmm crotch wizardssss” – Me & Bill simotaneously.
He gets Kane into the corner and hits the big butt bump.
“What did you EAT last night!?” – Me
Kane lowblows him as Estrada breaks the cigar. Gets to his feet and fights his way up and out – but still gets thrown to the corner, and as Umaga charges in, he hits another boot. Drags Kane into the corner for lots of lots of lots of punches.
“TIIIGER UPPERCUT” – Jeffrey
Irish whip and follow up clothesline or two from Kane. Hits a middle of the ring clothesline and doesn’t move Kane. Second one gets grabbed and thrown into the samoan drop.
Umaga goes for the top now and the flying headbutt… KANE SITS UP!
Kane now goes to set up Umaga for the tombstone – Umaga sets up the thumb… we wait for it and Kane blocks it!!! He hurls Umaga outside the ring.
“Somebody got hurt..” – Jeffrey
“Yeah.. Me.” – Mighty
They fight outside to the fan area…. annnnnnnnnnnd COUNT OUT.
WINNER: NOBODY
Now they fight ALL the way to the back… expect hardcore next month.
In the back – Vince is watching as Vince pins Trips.
“What’s the name of this PPV?” – Vince
“You forgot?” – Hernandez
“Backlash” – Eric
“Valentines Day Massacre” – Me
“In Your House?” – Eric
HERE COME THE SPIRIT SQUAD!!!!! YAY! IT’S HIGHLANDER TIME!
They all leap in in a neato fashion.
“God I hope they brought Piper” – Me
BAGPIPEEESSSSS … no Piper… oh well.
SPIRIT SQUAD vs. HIGHLANDERS
Weeeeee’rrreee ROBBBBBIIIIIEEEEEEEE
Rory starting in the ring Mikey. Lock up and a roll-up as everyone comes in from smokebreak
“I’M ROBBIE” – BILL
“I’M ROBBIE” – MIGHTY
“I KNOW” – BILL
Mikey fights him to the corner – the ref asks him to break out and he hits a back elbow instead. Now tries to throw him into the corner – but Rory gets out of the way and slams him into Robbie’s head. Mikey goes down for a pin.. for two.
“It’s Roy?? We’ve had it wrong all these weeks” – Me
Robbie gets the slap in – wrings his arm, shoulders him – slap to Robbie and he hits the top rope and doubleaxe to his arms. They continue to slap back and forth ending with Rory in the ring with Kenny (after a quick tag earlier) – they continue to tag and head ram into them.
“They’re wearing stuff under their kilts, they aren’t true scotsmen…” – Dani
“That’s because we’ld then see their nutsacks..” – Me
Kenny finally gets a tag into Mikey, who runs in and eats a double drop toe hold – a double hammer to his back and Robbie continues to beat – FINALLY Mikey pushes him into the corner where there’s a tag to Kenny who slams down Robbie – gets to his feet and hits his own dropkick that sends Kenny out. Robbie gives a HUGE wide-eyed crazy look and FLYING SHOULDER OUT THROUGH THE SECOND ROPE!
Ouch!
“And that was the sound of a scotsman losing his shoulder” – Mighty
Now the Scot gets beat on the outside by the Spirit Squad. PUlled in and pinned for two. Mikey gets a nice slingshot suplex – and a tag to Kenny for the two man moonsault for two. Lots of quick tags now from Mikey with doubleteams abound. It’s really quite solid.
They beat down on Robbie for awhile – even the hot tag gets stopped and Rory stops another three count. Kenny hits a swinging neckbreaker – and goes for the legdrop, but Rory pulls him out… THROWS HIM BACK IN…
“If yah win it.. I’ll give yah a sheep!” – Me
“YE PROMISE!” – Jeffrey
Finally the hot tag and it’s Rory in with the big polish hammers – throws out every member of the Spirit Squad…. in they run – they hit the springboard suplex!!! ANNNNNDDDD
KENNY is in … Gawdamnit the count is stopped. Mikey runs in and hits an X-Factor…. Kenny grabs Robbie top stop him from stopping the count…..
Three.
Shit.
WINNER: THE SPIRIT SQUAD
“..he won with an X-Factor” – Mike
“They had to reintroduce the move somehow..” – Eric
“This show is now officially useless to me.” – Me
Apparently the cell is 20 feet higher as we get the set up for Hell In A Cell..
“With Bulletproof glass” – Hernandez
“And Vince in the Popemobile” – Mighty
HERE COMES THE MONNNEYYYYYYYYYY!
“SHANE!” – Dani
“Drop Test on him!” – Hernandez
Hereeee comes the Big Show!
“So the cage is made of glass?” – Me
“No!” – Hernande
“Tafeta?” – Me
*Choking me* – Hernandez
And NOOOOO Chance!
Then they drop the cage!
“So wait, DX doesn’t come in.. cage drops.. Vince wins?” – Me
DX music hits – then drops…
“Launch X-Pac from a cannon!” – Hernandez
“That would be awesome… introduce him by murdering him.” – Jeffrey
HERE THEY COME! WOOOOOOOO OOOO
SHANE – VINCE – BIG SHOW vs. DEGENERATION X
Shane really wants to go through that cage
They get in – the door gets locked – and the bell rings.
“X-Pac won’t come out during this.. how will THAT be the turning point?!” – Jeffrey
So DX runs in and double nuts shots Big Show.
“Right in the little Shows” – Bill
Now DX grabs Shane and Vince. Trips beats on Vince and Shawn beats on Shane.
“There’s going to be a lot of blood in this match.” – Jeffrey
“All from Vince” – Jeffrey
They toss out the McMahons and runs in and nutshots Big Show some more.
“I can tassste.. my own dick…” – Me
“Normal night for you eh Jamie?” – Hernandez
“Hey look, Kane’s pyro!” – Me
Shane gets up to the apron and Shawn TOSSES Shane right into the cage.
Trips is still fighting Vince as we come back to Shane, now bleeding. Vince gets run across the cage walls and he’s now bleeding. Shane is getting gushed, and Vince is getting punched knuckly.
“Isn’t it time to go kick Big Show in the nuts again?” – Jeffrey
Trips finds a screwdriver and unscrews Vince’s fliptop head. He drags in Vince as Shawn leaps up to the top turnbuckle – but Show gets to his feet and leaps into Big Show’s arms.
“WHY DOES EVERYONE DO THAT?!?” – Bill
Trips now goes after Show – tries to throw him into the corner, but gets tossed instead. He clotheslines Trips over the top and after some hemming and hawing we get DX going after Big Show and tossing him into the stairs.
“He’s got bags under his eyes.” – Bill
“Those are his nuts” – Ginny
So DX gets in the ring and starts railing on McMahons again, when Big Show comes in and beats on Trips as Shane hits Shawn and throws him over the top rope! Show throws Trips to the corner where Shane follows up with a knee. Show headbutts him down as Shane curbstomps him. CHOKESLAM from Show. Show heads outside to powerbomb Shawn down… no.. actually on the pick up he just slams Shawns head into the ring.
In the ring Shane & Vince beating down on Trips.
Shane goes to the outside and hands Big Show a trashcan.
“Why is there a trashcan under the ring?” – Eric
“YOu’VE SEEN A RING BE BUILT… DO YOU KNOW WHAT KIND OF SHIT GETS IN THERE?” – Hernandez
“..nothing?” – Eric
“You are right.. I was just hoping you’ld go with it.” – Hernandez
So Big Show holds Trips in the corner as the garbage can gets set up. Shane hits the Van Terminator… HITS IT!!!! Show sits outside and YELLS in Trips’ bleeding ear… hysterically.
Now in the ring, the McMahons hold Shawn who is gushing. Show boots him down. They head to the outside and Shane moves the stairs – sets Hunter on the outside of the steps… we watch as Hunter blades then gets MONKEYFLIPPED into the cage.
In the ring, Big Show is splashing Shawn.
“I thought he was going for a moonsault” – Mike
“One can dream.” – Hernandez
Vince goes for the cover and then pulls him up at two. Show hits the sleeper backbreaker.
“You know, when Big Show does that – it’s like landing on a table… not so bad.” – Hernandez
Vince goes for the pin again and pulls it at two….
“COCKY!” – Bill
Trips runs in and clotheslines Show out. Throws Vince to the ropes and goes for the pedigree, and Shane picks him up on his shoulders and runs around.
“I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO RIGHT NOW!?!??!!” – Hernandez
He hits a spinny throwy.. like an F2.5. And everyone’s out.
“X-Pac is the clear spot?” – Bill
Shane and Shawn get to their feet and SHAWN HITS AN AWESOME ENZUIGIRI to send Shane out. Vince runs and clips Shawn’s leg…. Big Show grabs Shawn as Vince drops his pants.
“Do you REALLY think this is the best time for this?” – ME
“The fans probably like it.” – Hernandez
So Trips comes in and stops the whole spot. Show on the other hand stops Trips and hurls him out. Vince goes and now drops Shawn and holds him for Big Show…. wait for it… SHAWN PULLS VINCE IN THE WAY! SHOW SPLASHES VINCE! Ha! Big Show’s look just says awesomeness. He stumbles into the corner where Trips and Shawn have slid to the outside…. grabbing the legs.
“OH GOD NOT MY NUTS AGAIN” – Me
Yep.. his nuts. DX leaves him to burn as they go inside.
Trips in the ring with Shawn and Shane.
“THe meat of a DX sandwich” – Bill
Trips holds Shane to hit the crossbody – the atomic drop into the Trips Spinebuster. Nice spot. Shawn heads to the top turnbuckle, as Trips goes and gets two steel chairs.
“PILLMANIZZATION!” – Hernandez
Shawn hits a big elbow (missing the chair).
J …. E …. S–ow.. as Big Show pulls him out. Trips walks over and gets throated on the ropes.
“That was a bad idea” – Trips
Show throws in the stairs. Comes in and heads them up above his head… Trips runs in and hits him the gut with the chairs.. he lands head in the stairs and gets KWANGED with the chair. As he gets to his feet, Shawn hits the superkick. Angling Show across the ropes.
“Show needs to bleed…. one of these kiiids is diffferent” – Jeffrey
Vince slowwwly stumbles to his feet… face to face with DX… Trips throws out the stairs and they both face against DX. DX DROPS SHOW’S PANTS… Looks like Vince is joining the kiss Big Show’s ass club. They crotch chop him and throw him into Big Show’s ass.
“Big Show is going to be washing Vince McMahon blood out of his ass for months” – Jeffrey
Now Trips runs out and goes underneath the
J E S U S C H -Yarrr SNAP KICK – and Hunter with the sledgehammer…. WHAM TO THE BACK OF MCMAHON’S BACK. The head of the hammer flies off…..
“Now stake him through the heart!” – Jeffrey
Trips pins him! That’s it!
WINNER: DEGENERATION X
“Finally a match that ended the way it was supposed to.” – Hernandez
We get to watch as the EMTs drag Vince and Shane out as DX gets corner cheers. Shane is giving the wide-eyed stunned vision.
“Where’s Big Show?” – Hernandez
“Wiping his ass..” – Ginny
“EWWIEEWWIEEWWIE” – Me
So the EMTS are gonna wheel out DX, but they have to wait so they can pose.. nice.
“Rolls the McMahons right over the pyro” – Bill
“I think
We get the long set-up of Trish’s last match. Her career. It’s really inspired really.
“Where’s Test & Albert now?” – Hernandez
“Test is in ECW” – Eric
“Albert’s in New Japan” – Mike
“HOLY SHIT GUYS! That was a JOKE!” – Hernandez
Ok, she looks hot throughout this…
PREDICTIONS ON THIS MATCH:
“Edge interfere’s – Lita wins” – Jeffrey
“Matt Hardy f*cks with the match.” – Mike
“Bret Hart screws Trish” – Eric
“Screwjob, they are in Toronto” – Hernandez
“X-Pac comes out.” – Mighty
“I’m with Mike – Hardy entrance…” – Ginny
“They both die.” – Jen
“The DVD will be called – Screwed! The Trish Stratus Top” – Bill
“..how I got to the top.” – Mike
“I’d like to hope they do the right thing.” – Dani
“I’m going for the big feel good moment… Trish wins.” – Me
“The big feelgood moment would have been the Highlanders winning.” – Jeffrey
Here comes Lita…
“Charlie Haas Pop” – Bill
Here comes Trish! She gets a HUUUUUUUGE Pop! Hot little white latex lacey thing…
Trish flubs her way up the stairs… ok, that was funny.
TRISH vs. LITA
Good Times
Lock-Up to the ropes. Now they punch back and forth. Throw of Trish to the corner, and she runs out and clotheslines Lita down. She runs in for the handstand screwing headtoss. Lita bails.
Trish stands on the outside apron and THESZ Press to the outside. Lita climbs the steps and Trish runs in for a rana.
“And the baby’s dead.” – Bill
“Snitsky’s fault.” – Mike
In the ring Lita catches a cheapshot and now slams Trish’s face down to the mat. Doubleaxe to her back. Snapmare from Trish into a headlock. Trish fights up to her feet and Trish goes for a neckbreaker but Lita steps back and pulls her hair down.
Lita now kicks Trish in the corner. She reverses it around and Kicks to the gut from Trish – chokes her on the 2nd rope. She pulls Trish and licks her hand to chop some of Lita’s boobies. Throws her to the corner and big splash – followed by and elbow.
Lita climbs to the top turnbuckle – and Trish runs in for the rana. Lita says NO and pulls her legs to around her waist. They fight in a sitting position on the top. Then BOTH stumble out – how fantastic was that.
They slowly
Lita gets to the TOP!!!
“BROKEN NECK!” – Hernandez
She moonsauuulttsss.. WHIFFFFFF! Trish runs in for the pin for only two! Trish grabs her for the Stratusfaction! She runs, Lita throws her over the top.. Lita runs in and pulls her in for a pin.. two only.
Now Lita beats her down in the head. Snap suplex for two. Big kick to her gut. Now she chokes Trish against the bottom rope. Lita walks in and gets el smackoed to her head. They fight at her feet and a russian leg sweep and Lita rolls it into a headlock.
“Oo she did it the way I like it.” – Mike
“Dammit!
Trish fights out of it to their feet and Lita swings – ducked – Trish hits the neckbreaker. They get to their feet and now they are doing the punch to punch. Throws Lita to the corner, back elbow to her nose as Trish goes up to the top and Trish HITS the rana!
“CHICK KICK!” – Mike
Trish HITS the chick kick…. FOR TWO!
Get to their feet. Lita goes for the Twist of Fate – ducked underneath – Stratusfaction!!!! She slides around Lita into a roll-up – the ref goes to count a pin… but Trish stands up!! She flips Lita around?!
SHARPSHOOTER!!!!!!! SHE’S HITTING THE SHARP SHOOTER!!!!!! THE CROWD IS GOING FUCKING NUTS!!!
“Hit Sepia!” – Bill
WINNER: TRISH FRIGGING STRATUS!
What a fantastic ending! Trish stands with the title.. crying. Lillian’s crying. Standing ovation. She gives a little bow.
Teddy Long watching and clapping for Trish.
In the back Todd talks to Randy Orton.
HEY! …. HEY! …. Yeah – Orton
ORTON vs. CARLITO
Starts with the lock-up to push out, but Carlito spits on him.
Moonsault off the top rope, nice… dropkick and two. Gets to his feet and Randy thumbs him in the eye.
“Carlito’s growing something on his chin” – Bill
“A thing?” – Hernandez
“Yes.. cancer.” – Bill
They both get to their feet and the chopfight continues as Jeff and Bill woo. Carlito hits a middle rope rolling thunder – then a middleflip backflip for two… Nice spot! Carlito is bleeding from the mouth.
“Randy Orton is fighting.. Gingavitus” – Bill
Carlito chokes him from the ropes. Randy gets to his feet and throws Carlito the apron. Dropkick sends him to the outside.
“Randy looks like the Joker.” – Jenna
“Ever dance with the devil in the pale moon light.” – Bill
Randy now kicks and stomps him down, all over his feet and knees.
“The Garvin Stomp?” – Me
Sets Carlito in a headlock. Carlito fights out of it and hits the ropes, POWERSLAM… Ouchie for two. Right into the headlock. Carlito once again fights out of it. Punch war. Until Randy picks him up for a belly to back – Carlito flips out and the 2nd rope back elbow. Clothesline to Randy. SNAP clothesline from Carlito… then another… nice all around for two.
“He knocked the HEY out of him” – Me
“There’s nothing he can SAY” – Bill
Picks Randy up and ducks the clothesline to hit the Orton backbreaker, very niiice. Randy gets to his feet and goes for the RKO… Carlito DROPS him into the backcracker! Nice! Randy falls onto the second rope as Carlito gets to his feet. Picks him up, locks him for a reverse DDT… but Randy fights out of it and throws Carlito to the corner. As he charges in, eats boot.. Eats boot again. Carlito hits the top rope – FLIES OUT…. RKO RKO RKO!!!! GEEZUS
WINNER: RANDY ORTON
Nice end spot! Randy climbs to the top turnbuckle and Randy wipes the blood from his mouth.
“Orton earned back a little respect with that” – Bill
Now the set-up for Edge vs. Cena
Heeere comes Edge!
PREDITIONS:
“Probably Cena.” – Jeffrey
Long pause for Cena entrance with the biiiiig boo.
“Cena winning” – Eric
“X-Pac comes out.” – Mighty
“Doink” – Ginny
“Edge – Smackdown’s dying..” – Jenna
“Let Smackdown Die – Edge” – Bill
“Cena” – Hernandez
“I am” – Dani
“Everybody knows.. I like Edge.” – Me
“Can I change my prediction…?” – Mighty
“To?” – Me
“Gangrel.” – Mighty
So the big introduction gives Cena gets the HUUUUGE boos and Edge gets the BIIIIG cheers. Awesome.
EDGE vs. CENA
So cool.
The belt gets hoisted to the top.
Lock up. Cena heads into a side headlock.. and a headlock gets a boo. Cena gets pushed to the ropes and drops Edge. Back to the feet, another sideheadlock. Another rope toss. Another shouldercheck. Another side headlock. This time Edge stays down – gets up for a leapfrog. Slaps Cena for a HUGE cheer.
He hits a neckbreaker on Cena. Edge bails outside and grabs a chair. Guts Cena as he comes out – second chair shot gets ducked and he hits the corner. Edge gets rolled back in. They fight to a stand and Edge hits the impaler DDT.
Edge goes back outside and brings in the chairs.. Two chairs sets them up. They fight around them and Cena gets him set up for a suplex. Edge lands on his feet and hits a reverse DDT. Ouchie spot.
Now Edge sets the smaller ladder… why we don’t know. Cena pushes it, but Edge lands on his feet and clotheslines Cena down! He throws Cena to the second rope and slides out and begins setting up a spot, lying the ladder against Cena and from the outside apron – dropkicks it.
“Weak” – Hernandez
“You never see that really often.” – Jeffrey
“Like.. umm.. ever.” – Eric
Back in the ring. Edge tries to charge Cena with the ladder, but Cena runs out of the way. Cena grabs Edge. Hiptoss to the ladder. Nice.
Cena grabs Edge up for the FU – Edge grabs the rope and lands on the apron. Cena continues to punch Edge… Edge is teetering. Cena hits the back rope runs forward and eats a punch to stop THAT set-up flat. Now Edge runs to the turnbuckle and climbs… Edge drops the top rope sending Edge down.. ouch. Cena sets up another table in the middle of the ring.
Cena runs in climbs up for the superplex….. NO Edge fights out, locks his legs… goes for a powerbomb! Edge drops him down though for a pin, looks like a slippin screwup.
Well either way he picks up Cena and POWERSLAMS him through the table. Nice save! Cena bails out of the ring and Edge runs up the ladder that’s been in the corner since that earlier hiptoss…. LEAPS… RIGHT ON CENA! Nice!
He throws in Cena and grabs a chair! Comes in the ring annnnnnnd—WHAM! Chair to the gut. He lies Cena on the chair and goes for another. One man con-chair-to time! Cena rolls out and TRIPS Edge down.
“And the Canadians riot… as they do.. quietly.” – Bill
Cena runs, hits the ropes. Over the top headdrop onto the chair! Throws Edge into a ladder. SLAMS it onto his back and STFU’s EDGE THROUGH THE LADDER..
EDGE TAPS EDGE TAPS – THERE IS NO SUBMISSION IN THIS MATCH – HA HA NEINER NEINER.
Cena then puts the ladder on like a hat and FUs it right onto Edge.
“Hey RVD Monkeyflipped it” – Bill
The You Can’t See Me – and he stops to ponder…. climbs the ladder DROPS the first.
“And Lawler pops.” – Mike
Cena bails to the outside, and grabs another table. As he’s setting it up, Edge grabs a chair…. Cena turns around…. ELLLLL KAAAABONG! Cena’s down! Edge now picks up Cena and lies him down onto the table.
Edge now goes outside and sets up ANOTHER table in the ring. He sets the table ONTO Cena… Nice…
“Umm dude.. you jump… I move.” Hernandez
Cena does in fact move and hurls Edge off the turnbuckle. Nice spot. Cena now runs out and gets the BIIIG ladder. He sets it up and begins the slow climb. Edge climbs the smaller ladder and before Cena even gets half-way up – SPEAR from Edge…. If we pay attention closely, Cena honestly isn’t dedicating himself to the brutal spots.
“I want to see the paddle on a pole match.” – Mike
Edge now starts climbing the big ladder. Cena gets up as Edge gets to the top… Edge LEAPS to Cena, but he catches him and puts him up for the FU.. then Edge grabs the ladder again! Pretty funny really… but Cena sets him up for a powerbomb spot.
Throws Edge into the ladder. Ow…
“Mr Cena, that was NOT nice.” – Me
Cena tosses Edge out of the ring and he comes back and starts the long climb up the biiiig ladder.
CENA’S AT THE TOP… HE’S GOT THE TITLE…. LITA HAS RUN OUT!
LITA TIPS THE LADDER! NICE! Cena goes through the table outside.. Nice Spot!
We are now predicting a Matt Hardy run-in. Edge back in the ring setting up the big ladder off center for the table spot. (Remember the double set-up is still going) Lita goes and hits Cena in the back with a chair, but Cena STILL pushes the ladder sending Edge to the outside now…. through his OWN set of tables.
Cena grabs Lita – FU!
“Now THAT is how a Marine treats a woman.” – Jeffrey
The double table gets f’d up a little bit and Cena fixes it… obvious spot set-up. Now Cena sets the ladder and begins the climb now for the big ladder! Half-way… and here comes Edge.
Edge climbs the other side. The big fight is on!
Fighting at the top…
“They’re both going through.” – Bill
Cena grabs Edge and sets Edge in the FU…. THROUGH THE DOUBLE TABLE….. Cena unlatches the belt.
“And today… in Toronto… the music dies.” – Bill
John Cena looks pissed as he gets booed hard throughout the arena. He goes outside and hugs (we assume) his father.
“I hope somebody stabs his Dad” – Mike
And as Cena doesn’t take even a moment to be cheered.. just walks up the aisle – raises up the title. Salutes. The end.
Final Thoughts:
“Midling – it was alright” – Jeffrey
“Uhhh… women’s match was the best match of the night. Also best RKO ever” – Mike
“Predictable” – Eric
“Like a wet dream.. you cum but you don’t know you enjoyed it” – Mighty
“Highlanders should have won” – Ginny
“I was doing my homework – I’m only half intrigued” – Jen
“First hour blew.. then it picked up” – Hernandez
“I think they almost made up for Highlanders losing” – Bill
“Edge should have won. So should have the Highlanders. Trish I’m ok with” – Me
And that puts us to the end of another Rabble Pay Per View.
Thanks again – this has been another fine presentation of the Monday Night Rabble!
