Before I begin, sorry about the SmackDown Report being a little less early than usual and a lot more late. When I went to post it the server was down, and I havn’t had access to my laptop all day. I’m exhausted to boot.
Theodore Long is backstage on the phone when King Booker and Queen Sharmell enter. Sharmell looks great tonight. Sharmell shows Booker’s hands, the hands of true royalty, and Long agrees – every king should get a manicurist. Booker is annoyed about being put in a match with ‘Veeto’. Booker talks about Sharmell, her body and gowns etc, and says that ‘Veeto’ wears a dress that disgusts all and refuses to touch Veeto, not wanting to touch such filth. Vito’s apparently stepped aside so that Booker can take on another opponent. Booker asks which wrestler has challenged him to a joust, and Long says it’s the Undertaker! Booker channels Booker T as we cut to a BRAND NEW opening video! Fun way to open SmackDown this week, and seeing Booker return to Booker T mode – even if for just a few moments – was cool. And, thankfully, we have the ramp back! Okay, it was taped at RAW, but I always liked SmackDown with a ramp. And we have new entrance graphics too.
Opening Contest: Batista and Bobby Lashley vs Finlay and Sir William Regal
Batista and Regal start, with Regal getting a cheap shot and taking it to the corner. Batista gets the upper hand and gets elbows and clotheslines Regal in the corner, before he continues his attack with spears, sends Regal into the opposing corner, and back into a shoulder body toss. Powerslam by Batista who already does the thumbs down and goes to Batista Bomb Regal, but Finlay distracts him and Batista follows him outside. Batista rolls back into the ring and spinebusters Regal, getting a one count which is broken by Finlay. Lashley is tagged in and the duo nail Regal with a double team delayed vertical suplex! Regal gets sent into the corner for a spear by Lashley, back into the ring Lashley nails a snap suplex for a two count. Regal sent back into the corner but dodges a Lashley attack, and tags out to Finlay. Finlay quickly gets a belly to belly by Lashley, clotheslined back down and clubbed across the back of the neck. Lashley picks Finlay up and nails a nice gutbuster, but Regal breaks a pinfall attempt.
Finlay sends Lashley outside, where Regal clotheslines him down before he sends him back into the ring, where Finlay drops a thump. Uppercut and short arm clothesline by Finlay, elbow drop and a rear naked choke hold followed up by Finlay. Lashley escapes with punches, off the ropes into a clothesline by Finlay, Regal in with a knee drop for a two count. Regal continues with knees to the face of Lashley and gets another two count. Lashley into the corner and Regal with spears, Finlay tagged in and gets a spear to Lashley for a two count. The referee has to hold Batista at bay as Regal gets in a cheap kick to the chest of Lashley. Finlay with knee drops to the face of Lashley, elbow drop before he tags out to Regal. Finlay whips Lashley into an elbow by Regal. Regal with a T-Bone for a two count, before he gets in a headlock on Lashley. Lashley inches towards his corner, but Regal kicks Batista’s foot away from making the tag and sends Lashley into an elbow by Finlay. Regal gets a punch on Batista, but Batista knocks him down and comes into the ring! Finlay tries to attack with shillelagh, but Batista kicks him and sends him outside! The two exchange punches outside but Batista kicks him over the security rail, and steals the shillelagh off of Regal! Regal turns into a spear by Lashley for the victory!
Winners: Batista and Bobby Lashley
Good match, even if the decision was predictable. Pretty good little match to open SmackDown with, and Lashley and Batista could make a pretty good tag team together. If I had any say in it, I don’t of course but if I did then I’d have them team up and put over some of the tag teams on SmackDown before leading to an inevitable feud between the two. Six out of Ten.
Still to come: Rey Mysterio vs Chavo Guerrero with Vickie Guerrero! Also, The UnderTaker vs King Booker with Queen Sharmell!
Commercials.
Layla El makes her way on out. I don’t see how Vince is already tired of her, I think that if done properly she could become pretty good. Layla welcomes us to the season premiere and begins to dance, but Kristal Marshall makes her way on out. See now these two could make a nice little feud together; may not be pretty wrestling wise, but still. Kristal asks if Layla thinks she’s Latin Spice. Kristal is sick of all the diva search winners coming out and doing whatever they please, and it’s painfully obvious to her that she’s the hottest Diva on SmackDown – and it didn’t take winning some contest to prove it. Kristal bitch slaps her down and we have a SmackDown cat fight. Jillian Hall comes out and drags Kristal off of her and rips her top off. (JBL: “Yes! Yes! Flesh to win! If she’d had done that in the diva search, she’d have won!”) Layla yells at Kristal before Jillian attacks Layla from behind and removes her top. Layla gets out of the ring and, using WWE Diva logic, Jillian decides to remove her own top. Diva logic has always confused me.
Video recap of the Chavo Guerrero and Rey Mysterio feud so far.
Commercials.
Second Contest: Gregory Helms vs Matt Hardy
How many times must these two wrestle?! Hardy kicks Helms in the gut to start and takes Helms into the corner for punches. Helms gets sent into the other corner and back into a clothesline. Helms comes off the ropes with a kick to the chest and goes to capitalize, but Hardy flips him over the top rope and follows with a vaulting cross body. Back in the ring, Hardy takes Helms to the corner but misses clotheslines when Helms gets an elbow and then a pair of high boots. Helms tries to go to the top rope but Hardy stops it and Hardy sets himself up on the second turnbuckle, but Helms drops him throat first onto the top rope. Helms gets a swinging neckbreaker for a two count, almost a three. Helms gets mounted punches and a “Let’s go Hardy” chant begins. Helms sets Hardy up at the ropes and drops him throat first again, but this time more like a cutter. Helms with a nice arm drag and elbow drop for a two count. Helms gets in a headlock, by Hardy gets up and fights out of it but Helms quickly comes back and nails a NICE face to knee drop, which gets a two count. Helms gets a sleeper hold on Hardy, but Hardy reverses it into a jawbreaker. Helms reapplies it but Hardy sends Helms into the corner. Helms off the turnbuckles with an elbow attempt but Hardy punches him in the gut, Hardy misses a clothesline but Helms turns into a Side Effect for a two! Hardy goes up top and comes back with a Moonsault onto a standing Helms for a two count, almost a three. Hardy sets up for the Twist Of Fate but Helms grabs the ropes and Hardy hits the mat hard, and Helms gets in the shining wizard! Hardy kicks out just before the three count, however! Hardy gets a low blow to Helms, and gets the three count!
Winner: Matt Hardy
Cole calls it fair play that Hardy cheated to win. I’ve never understood this: faces can use weapons and cheat and some people have no problem with them doing it, but when heels do it – it’s almost as though they’ve just drowned a box of puppies .. but, oh well. Either way it was a good step up from last week’s effort from these two. Five out of Ten.
Mike Mizanin is backstage talking, saying he’ll make it 4-0 next.
Commercials.
Jimmy Wang Yang is backstage. He says he was going to make his debut tonight but says he won’t. But he’ll make it next week .. in Oklahoma.
Third Contest: Mike Mizanin vs Funaki
Yeah because if ANYONE can end Mizanin’s victory streak .. it’s Funaki. And if he can’t do it then may god have mercy on our souls. Circling and lock up, Mizanin gets a hammerlock and headlock which Funaki escapes and works the arm of Mizanin. Mizanin gets to the ropes, flips over, and gets Funaki with am arm drag. We get some cruiser weight moves but Mizanin stops a scoop slam and gets one of his own .. and poses. Funaki gets a dropkick, but misses another. Mizanin stomps away on Funaki and chokes him blatantly before he gets a suplex. Mizard Of Oz ends it.
Winner: Mike Mizanin
I would love it if, of all people, the Brooklyn Brawler ends his victory streak. Either way it wasn’t bad for a squash. Three out of Ten. That’s like a Star and a Half if you think about it that way.
Rey Mysterio is backstage and says that in his entire career, nothing has effected him like the Guerrero’s betrayal of him. As though they ripped out his heart and raped his soul, and life goes on and he has to live in each and every single day. Tonight is the first day of the rest of his life. Hm, short, simple, effective.
Commercials.
Fourth Contest: Chavo Guerrero with Vickie Guerrero vs Rey Mysterio
A brawl quickly starts off with neither getting the upperhand for a while, when Mysterio headscissors Guerrero out of the ring and follows up with a seated senton off the apron and into the crowd. Mysterio and Guerrero brawl throughout the crowd, Mysterio gets a seated senton off of a barricade before he sends Guerrero into the barricade itself twice, and sends him into some chairs before the fight continues throughout the crowd. They FINALLY make it back to ringside, so we can clearly see what’s going on, and Vickie is told to back off by Mysterio. Guerrero rolls inside the ring first, and kicks Mysterio down whilst on the apron. Vickie throws him in a chair, but Mysterio gets a dropkick from the top rope right to the head of Guerrero. Vickie comes from behind Mysterio and turns him around, he stops her from slapping him and Guerrero attacks Mysterio from behind. Guerrero kicks away on Mysterio in the corner, but Mysterio comes back with elbows, Guerrero picks Mysterio up looking for a spinebuster it seems, but referees run out and separate the two .. er? The fight obviously continues.
Winner: No Contest
Well .. that was weird. Of course it was just a set up for their match at No Mercy, and it’ll provide some pretty cool stock footage for their feud, but this was just all over the place. These two aren’t brawlers and they were supposed to brawl. They couldn’t have just used moves, of course, since they “needed” to have a good ol’ fight (as most feuds do need). They couldn’t use weapons because that’s pretty much trademarked by ECW and RAW now it seems. So what did they do? They took the safe option. But .. if you’re going to fight throughout the crowd, at least go through a bigger portion of the crowd. Anyways, for a brawl between two guys who aren’t known for their brawling skills, the time they ate up could’ve been put on something worse. One out of Ten.
Still to come: The Undertaker vs King Booker! But, up next: Tag Team Championship! The Pitbulls vs K.C. James And Idol Stevens vs Paul London And Brian Kendrick!
Commercials.
Maryse from the Diva Search welcomes everyone back to SmackDown, she says something in French.
Fifth Contest: Tag team Championship: Brian Kendrick and Paul London (Champions) vs The Pitbulls vs K.C. James and Idol Stevens w/ Michelle McCool
Pitbulls and Hooliganz brawl to start, before the Pets arrive, the Pit bulls isolate Kendrick and the Pets make their way out. Noble sends James to the corner where they fight, James gets the better and sends Noble into a shoulder body toss by Kendrick. Kendrick with elbows and a high kick to Noble, but gets clotheslined down by James. Stevens in and he and James double team Kendrick, getting Stevens a failed pinfall attempt. Stevens and Noble exchange elbows, Noble gets the better and kicks Kendrick before he knocks London off the apron. Noble tags out to Kash, and they nail Stevens with double head butts. Knees to Stevens by Kash, Kash gets a two count on Stevens. Kash gets a chop to Kendrick and Stevens gets a school boy on Kash for a quick two count. Tag out to James, who comes in and takes the fight to both opponents. James tags out to Stevens while he and Kash are brawling in his corner, and Stevens comes in with a headbutt to Kash. Stevens kicks away at Kash in the corner, and James chokes him for a little bit. Snapmare by Stevens on Kash, but Stevens misses an elbow drop and Kash tags out to Noble.
Stevens knocks Kendrick out of the ring, and Noble comes in with kicks to Stevens, but comes of the ropes with a kick to the gut by Stevens followed by a neckbreaker. Stevens takes a shot at London but misses, London gets a punch of his own and Stevens turns into a dropkick by Kendrick. Noble goes for a back drop on Kendrick but Kendrick reverses it and lands on Noble. Noble goes to attack Kendrick but gets his groin caught on the second rope, Kendrick rolls under a Stevens clothesline and tags out to London. Dropkick to Stevens by London, hurricanrana to Noble. Spinning heel kick by London to Kash, and dropsault to James. Stevens sends London into the corner but London gets an elbow to Stevens and nails him with a stomp to the lower back. London gets a one count on Stevens. Mc distracts the referee on the apron as Kash gets the Dead Level on London, but Kendrick nails the Sliced Bread No. 2 on Kash, only to run right into a sweet backbreaker by Stevens. Stevens covers London for a one count, broken by Noble. Noble sends Stevens into the steel pole and goes to nail London with the double arm powerbomb but London escapes, Noble ducks the clothesline and sends London to the ropes, Noble and London come back and Noble has London in a pinfall for the two, but James clotheslines Noble and London reverses it for the three count!
Winner And Still Champions: Brian Kendrick And Paul London
The first half seemed all over the place. But once London came in it became a fast paced and good match. But apart from the last minute or two, I didn’t much care for it … did I just say that about a London and Kendrick match? Damn. Two out of Ten.
Elijah Burke is backstage and introduces Sylvester Turkay, who simply says “I am Sylvester Turkay”.
Commercials.
Video of Batista in Manilla.
Sixth Contest: Sylvan vs Tatanka
Lock up and Sylvan forces into the corner for elbows before Tatanka comes back with punches. Sylvan off the ropes and into a shoulder body toss, he turns around and gets nailed with a suplex by Tatanka. Tatanka works the lower back of Sylvan with punches before he nails a backbreaker with a .. “Let’s go Sylvan” chant. Sylvan escapes a rear naked choke with punches and nails a sambo suplex. Sylvan with mounted punches before he plays up to the crowd. Tatanka gets some punches in and runs into a dropkick. Sylvan nails what Cole calls a sideslam, but it looks more like a Blue Thunder to me, for a two count. Sylvan throws Tatanka outside and JBL and Cole talk about the Montreal incident, which JBL calls “Didn’t something happen here a few years ago?” Classic. Tatanka tries for a sunset flip, but Sylvan drops down and uses the ropes for the victory.
Winner: Sylvan
If we’re going off of atmosphere, then this is Ten out of Ten. Seriously, hearing the crowd go ape over Sylvan is something that needs to be seen to be believed. The match itself wasn’t as good as some of their others but, well .. the atmosphere was just so fun. Eight out of Ten.
Still to come: The Undertaker vs King Booker!
Commercials.
Long is pacing in his office with John Cena makes his way in. Cena offers his thanks because if he hadn’t offered him that contract, then he wouldn’t have gotten the title match and that he owes him one. Long decides to cash in that favor next week, and says he’ll have King Booker, Finlay, and William Regal against Batista, Bobby Lashley, and .. John Cena! Long afterwards looks like a really old kid on christmas.
Mr Kennedy makes his way to ringside for the following match up, Undertaker vs King Booker!
Commercials.
We’re back and King Booker is entering the ring, while Mr Kennedy is on commentary.
Main Event: The Undertaker vs King Booker w/ Queen Sharmell
Taker tries to get some jabs in on Booker first, but Booker continues to evade them. Booker gets a punch in on Taker in the corner and rolls out of the ring, Taker follows him around ringside. Booker clubs away on Taker in the ring but Taker reverses an irish whip, Booker back with a kick to the chest which Taker no sells and clotheslines Booker out of the ring. Taker slams Booker face first into the steel steps and we already head into a commercial.
Commercials.
We’re back to see Taker with the advantage, Booker off the ropes into a big boot for a two. Taker works the arm of Booker and lifts him up before he drops him down .. obviously. Taker sets Booker up in the corner and shoulders the shoulder of Booker, before he goes for the Old School but misses when Booker gets a cheap shot while he’s making his way up the turnbuckles. Booker gets a few shots in on the turnbuckles but Taker headbutts Booker down and goes to the top rope, but Booker gets a low blow while Sharmell distracts the referee! Booker gets the superplex! Booker chokes Taker using the top rope, before he nails a scissors kick with Taker’s neck still on the top rope. Booker gets a two count afterwards. Booker punches away on Taker in the corner, before he takes him back into the middle of the ring for a sideslam, getting Booker a two count. Booker gets a chop and punches Taker out of the ring, and gets an attack off of the apron before he knocks Taker into the steel steps.
Back in the ring, Booker dropkicks Taker down for another two count. Taker gets some punches in and sends Booker of the ropes, but Booker comes back with a DDT to Taker. Booker gets yet another two count, but Taker sits up after this one. The two exchange punches, with Taker getting the upper hand before Booker pokes the eyes. Taker ducks a sideick and comes back with a jumping clothesline, for a two count. Taker nails Booker with the snake eyes, big boot follows and Taker gets a leg drop for a two count. Taker goes for the Chokeslam but Booker escapes, and gets Taker with a sidekick for a two count! Booker with the low kick .. and he tries to set up for the Tombstone! Taker reverses it but Booker flips behind and nails a low blow, and the referee sees it! Taker wins by DQ
Winner: The Undertaker
Booker nails Taker with the title afterwards, before he and Sharmell celebrate with the title afterwards .. but Lashley comes from behind him and sends him back into the ring as Taker sits back up! Chokeslam by Taker! Tombstone follows! Usual Taker posing finishes us off as well as a graphic for next week’s main event; King Booker, Finlay, and Sir William Regal against Batista, Bobby Lashley and John Cena! Bland .. meh. One out of Ten.
So the Season Premiere of SmackDown brings in a;
Batista / Lashley vs Finlay / Regal: 6/10
Helms vs Hardy: 5/10
Mizanin vs Funaki: 3/10
Guerrero vs Mysterio: 1/10
Three Way Tag: 2/10
Sylvan vs Tatanka: 8/10
Undertaker vs King Booker: 1/10
SmackDown 23/09/06: 26/70
The Inside Pulse
Wrestling wise this baby stunk. But having said that it still over all seemed like a step up from the last few weeks worth of episodes, but was it really anything more than what we should be getting as an average show? And it certainly looks like we will be getting that possible push with their debut on the CW Network. Hm. Until next week ..
