— Anyone else get the memo about Kurt Angle jumping ships?? All I can say is “Oww” and “Damn!” Hopefully this doesn’t hurt Angle’s career and physical well being. I was personally actually hoping that I would see Angle return to the “E” in one form or another, but sadly that is not to be.
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Oklahoma City, OK.
Hosts: Jerry “The King” Lawler & Jim Ross
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– Candace Michelle vs. Lita
It looks there’s a blackout or some kind of power outage within the arena as things start of ‘dark’ here to kickoff RAW. But this is the first round of the Women’s championship tourney. Edge spears Lita- so that’s that.
— Winner: Lita
– Nitro vs. Kane
This is a total squash match, only to set up an angle. Kane is about to tombstone Nitro and out comes Umaga with a chair shot to the back. Umaga destroys Kane after the DW.
— Winner: DQ- Kane
– Mikey vs. Ric Flair
It looks like Flair will be feuding against the SS now as he gets his second match in a row against a member of the group. Surprisingly enough, Mikey is taking control of the match from the get go, hitting a huge forearm shot from the middle rope down on Flair. Mikey slaps Flair for a bit, causing the Nature Boy to fire back with a few chops of his own. But a reverse elbow knocks Flair back down.
A few more chops get the offense back into for Flair as he follows it up with a knee chop block. Figure four is attempted as a member of the SS runs in and gets tossed to the outside quickly by Flair who follows it up with a roll up pin for the 3 count.
— Winner: Ric Flair
– D- Generation X vs. The Gauntlet
DX shows a replay of the HIAC match from the last PPV. They crack a few more jokes of Vince sticking his head in Big Show’s ass. First up is the Highlanders: DX confuses the Scots and they hit their finishes fairly quickly to get the win.
Viscera & Charlie Hass: Hass starts off the match against HHH as this match seems to be an actual match. Double clothesline on Viscera to take the big man down, and Hass eats the pedigree.
Cade & Murdoch: Another so-so match, but things end as Cade brings in a chair and gets hit first by HHH’s chair and all hell breaks lose. Ok, um”¦ who won?
— Winner: ??
– Jeff Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin
Hardy gets tossed against the ropes and gets hit with a quick shoulder block. Both men back up and Hardy misses another shoulder block to hit a jumping clothesline. Out on the rope apron, Benjamin holds up Hardy’s hair and is tossed out to the outside. Benjamin grabs Hardy back into the ring and continues to stay on him with a scoop slam, driving the foot into the throat while on the ground.
Chin lock holds up Hardy until he gets a jawbreaker on Shelton. Blocked right, followed by some forearm shots and another jumping clothesline. Top rope whisper in the wind gets 2! Hardy runs up to the top, but is meet by Benjamin. Shelton loses the match up top and the Swanton is hit, BUT Benajamin has his foot on the rope.
Twist of fate is attempted, but Shelton holds onto the ropes to block the move. Inside cradle suddenly comes out of nowhere and Hardy gets the 1-2-3.
— Winner: Jeff Hardy
– Randy Orton & Chris Masters vs. Carlito & Super Crazy
Super Crazy foes up top and misses the moonsault attempt on Orton. Both men slip out of the ring as Masters sets up the masterlock on Carlito. But Carlito avoids the hold and sidesteps a clothesline, hitting the back breaker to get the win.
After the match, Orton sneaks back in the ring and hits the RKO to return the favor.
— Winner: Carlito & Super Crazy
– Lita vs. John Cena
This should be short and simple. Cena gets his hand tied behind his back and Lita gets a poke to the eye on Cena. Cena lifts her up for the FU for the short win.
After the match, Edge teases to run in, but gives time for King Booker and his royal court to run in and take down Cena. Edge watches on as Cena gets destroyed and “humbled”. The beatdown goes on WAAAAY to long as Cena “kisses” King Booker’s foot to end the show.
— Winner: John Cena
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— Cena comes out and yada, yada, yada. He says that he can beat Lita with one tied behind his back.
— DX is out pimping their merchandise as Maria comes out and doesn’t know what the two words of DX are. Ahhh, Maria”¦.
— Coach runs up with Benjamin and gets after him because he complained last week that he’s being held down because he’s black. Coach says that Vince’s role model is Martin Luther King Jr. and that Coach is the executive assistant. Shelton says that Dick Cheney has more soul than Coach. Jeff Hardy interrupts and puts a one-on-one match against Benjamin and Hardy tonight.
Edge and Lita walk out tonight and want the match against Cena tonight with one arm tied behind his back and no holds-barred. Coach will put in the match, but Edge cannot touch Cena tonight and if he does, Edge will lose his rematch for the WWE title. Lita worries afterwards.
— Cryme Tyme: They mug some guy at the ATM. Did you know that CT has been getting national attention. And before you start jumping up and down in your seat- its BAD national attention. Who would have guessed?
— King shows how gay he is by saying something after Cena’s movie trailer that Cena has a good butt!?!?!?
— Eric Bischoff is back on RAW!!!!! He comes out and lets us know that before he got fired, that he signed a book deal with the WWE. He says that he tells the truth about a lot of things that may piss of Vince. That how RAW wouldn’t exist in its current form if it wasn’t for what he did. Coach then cuts off Bischoff’s promo as Lita’s music hits.
— Edge puts in his rematch clause next week for a Sttteeeeeel cage match.
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— Well, have to say that it didn’t keep my attention this week. I was going back and forth to Monday Night Football and even switched it over a couple of times to “Heroes”. The plus side was that there was no McMahon, and a Bischoff appearance. But stupid matches and a ending that dragged on way to long still shot down the show.
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– Dan Hevia shows us why he thinks Kurt Angle’s life might be in jeopardy.
– Sports is always good, so check out the Tailgate Crashers.
– And if you still need some more RAW to fix your craving, check out the Tommy P. report.
– The Monday Night Football Update: Falcons- 3 Saints- 23
The Inside Pulse
I give it a 5 tonight… just cuz yea, not a very gripping show tonight. Either that or there was just more other interesting stuff on TV. But I’m still going to sleep now, if I can only just find that Nyquil I’ll be good. Till the next EVENT, I’m out, peace!
