Another fast-paced week has come and pass in the world of sports entertainment. I’m quite tired this evening as I write this. I’ve been awake now over 24 plus hours straight and am planning on making this a quickie Gospel this week. We’ll see about that. In fact, I had originally planned on missing this week altogether, but I’m availible so I’m going to save my IP Sick Day for a later time.
This week I’m going to talk mainly about Smackdown. Two weeks ago the CW network premiered/returned to my affiliate out of Spokompton, Washington and thus so did Smackdown. Prior to two weeks ago, I hadn’t seen a full eppy of SD since around January! So after watching closely the last two weeks I have some thoughts on the current product and where I think it’s headed or should go.
Due to my extreme tiredness right now, bear with me as I think this is all going to be totally written in very much a stream of consciousness fashion. That’s of course, if I can remain conscious.
You know staying awake while watching Smackdown may actually be hard to pull off! After many months of primarily only RAW being thrust before me, I am taken aback at this other brand. There’s some good, but a whole helluva lot of bad stuff going on right now.
So let’s look a little closer at this week’s episode, which featured a huge dose of John Cena. I’m way oversaturated on him from watching RAW every Monday night and am personally sorta pissed that I have to sit through his bullshit on this other show for the time being now too.
And I already hate The Marine. I don’t even have to see it, the constant f*cking replaying of the trailers is driving me nuts and has actually turned me off to seeing the movie altogether. WWE seems to do this with all of their outside projects. They overload us with promotion and by the time the shit gets released I’m personally so sick of hearing about it – stuff like See No Evil – that I simply bask in the greatness of NEVER actually seeing it. I actually sleep better at night because of it I think.
Alright, so far I’m really really enjoying JBL on color commentary. The last two weeks has been the most I’ve heard out of him since his move to the chair next to Cole. He’s very informative, funny and speaks to the smart fan while sticking to the kayfabe part of the business. I can totally see why all of you smarks have been salivating for his commentary each and every week. He’s good. He’s damn good. Given time he could be considered Jim Ross quality in about 10 years.
I don’t recall them playing the cartoon-enhanced Smackdown opening this week, but I may have just blinked and missed it. I caught it last week though during it’s initial playing and thought it was pretty corny and would actually like to see WWE return to an opening that resembles the one from around 2001 where Beautiful People was the background music. Anything would probably be an improvement over what they’re currently using. Those are small potatoes though in the grand scheme of things.
I thought Rey Rey was going to wrestle Terkay this week, but low and behold Elijah Burke ended up working Rey. I thought they had a neat little match, and this was my first real chance to see Burke in action. He’s crisp and stuff but I just sse him falling into the pre-assigned Shelton Benjamin category down the road. If he’s damned lucky he’ll make it to the upper mid-card.
Speaking of young black men who’ll never make it past the upper mid-card. I’ve now seen this MVP dude. Already not liking him, but as always I will give him the chance and see what the E ends up doing with him. If I wanted over the top free agents dudes, I would pay more attention to the likes of Terrell Owens.
Sylvester Terkay on the other hand looks to have some potential, but I’m not quite sure yet how much. His chin reminds of Sergent Slaughter. And now he’ll probably never work with Kurt Angle for obvious reasons, which was the real hook to him anyway I believe.
Okay, so I’m going to lop the whole SD tag division into one quick paragraph. I’m a mark for Ashley. I know, she’s not a tag wrestler. But she does manage a team, so mentioning her can be justified. I think she’s one the hottest, if not THE hottest WWE Diva working the shows right now. I’ve always enjoyed the work of Kendrick and London. The short video package on this week’s show was well done and reaffirmed my previous belief that these two are darn good enough to take up space on my TV. the Hooliganz are also damn lucky to have Ashley accompany them to the ring. She definately grabs my attention. And this new guy KC James is growing on me already. He’s very old school in his appearance which quite appeals to me. He reminds me of the old Steve Austin from the Dangerous Alliance era in WCW. He’s got a future.
Someone who doesn’t have a future in the E is Kid Kash. I guess that was his last match and if so, what’s next for Jamie Noble? A return to his Cruiserweight singles greatness perhaps?
And that brings me the Cruiserweight crapfest going on right now. I’ve seen Hardy and Helms go at it so many times now, it’s become boring. There doesn’t appear to be any real storyline behind their feud right now and I’m generally uninterested. The world’s not going change if Matt Hardy leaves No Way Out with Helms’ strap. I couldn’t care less. And f*ck if Helms’ wasn’t the champ waaaay back when Spokane pulled my UPN in affliate at the beginning of the year. This is getting to be one long ass title reign, but will it actually mean anything to his future. Does Gregory Helms really want to known as the Longest Reigning CW champ ever?
Well, I guess there are worse things to be known for. For instance, Matt Hardy’s going to go down in history as being Edge and Lita’s little bitch.
The Chavo-Rey stuff is sort of just there for me. I’m very 50/50 on Vicki Guerrero’s involvement in this whole thing. She’s tweening, but not in that perfect way her husband did and therefore she’s just an afterthough. Which is unfortunate. I re-watched the Eddie Tribute from this years Hall of Fame earlier this week and I just have to wonder what the meaning of this whole feud really is. Couldn’t Chavito and Rey be doing something else productive with other people and let Eddie’s soul rest in peace?
Ahh, Resting In Peace. I have a feeling that’s something Misssster Kennnnedy won’t be doing anytime soon. He’s probably the most entertaining performer on the brand right now and one way or another I would think he’ll maneuver a way to go over Taker at the PPV. If they keep pushing Kennedy well he could be a major player. Put him over Taker and then over another top babyface like Lashley and then switch him to RAW when the time is just right. That’s the ticket!
Ticket.
I’ve said this before and I will say it again until SOMEONE inside the WWE headquarter gets the message:
THE MIZ IS A FUCKING WASTE OF MY TIME, YOUR TIME and THE WRESTLING BUSINESS’ TIME!!
So this MTV flunkie is now 5-0 in this sport I’ve given my life up to in so many ways, eh? Maybe I need to start finding some new shows to watch, because I guy like Mizanin is only going to drive me away. I hated him on The Real World and now I simply dispise his very existance in our beloved WWE ring. And then they job Tatanka to him. I mean for f*ck sakes, why? Why? Why? If there is a God the Miz will get droZed on his head and go away.
I’ll do a couple of Our Father’s after writing that last sentence, but I sort of mean it.
Three more gimmicks I can absolutely do without ever watching again are Jimmy Wang Yang, Sylvan and Vito.
One at a time here. First, Jimmy Wang.
This type of gimmick is a career killer, and I hated the idea of it the first I ever heard he was going to do it. Never been a fan of Yang anyway so I say f*ck it and f*ck him for agreeing to be the japanese brokeback mountain to Sylvan’s Pat Patterson.
Sylvan looked okay last week in Montreal, because the fan response was so tremendous it sort of gave me the illusion he was cooler than he actually is. He’s no Bret Hart. He’s hardly worthy of even being compared to the Mountie or any other Canadian worker past or present. I can actually tolerate Dupree over Sylvan, and that’s something that I’m pretty indifferent about anyway. They both suck and I question why WWE even employs half these guys.
And then we have Vito. This guy was never over in WCW to begin with back in the early 90’s, how he has been able to sustain a full time gig with WWE is beyond me. The gimmick is stupid and he’s a forgettable JTTS sort of talent. Not worth TV time anywhere.
The Smackdown main event scene is at best on par with everything else the WWE has been putting out lately on their three respective brands. I really enjoy anything Regal and Finley do. That’s a given. Batista is taking up space and won’t be around too much longer I think. The real kick in the ass would be a strong win for Fit over Batista just to really send the message to us fans. King Booker’s whole gimmick is mildly entertaining, but as I’ve mentioned before it’s already become annoying and sort of sad. And I’ve only endured this for two weeks now. No wonder so many fans have been turned off. Lashley is alright, but he’s just another young black guy that Vince and Co. will use up and do very little with. He’s young, he’s still to green and he’s no where near as over as a legitimate World champion would have to be. He’ll love at No Mercy and if he’s lucky find his way back to Kennedy and maybe a fluke US title win. I doubt it though.
Putting Cena in the main this week was less than thrilling. Same old shit, different color ring ropes. Edge’s spear was weak as shit too. My Grandma could’ve taken that and gotten right back up.
So after two weeks of Smackdown, I’m already wondering why I even care. WWE needs to lose Miz, Sylvan, Yang, Vito and even Vicki Guerrero and probably a few others. They should also watch some tapes of TNA or even ROH and hire some talented guys and NOT give them lame gimmicks that will surely kill the career of a young wrestler.
I’m done for this week. It seems my sleep deprivation has allowed me babble on for quite sometime here. Thanks for reading and for the love of Moses…
Vote McMahon in ’08!
Showin’ some love for Matt Hardy’s cocksock…
