The new-look Comics Nexus site is here! Any thoughts on the new design to share with our readers? How about our photo-enhanced rogue’s gallery?
JAMIE “EXPLODES GOATS” HATTON: I’ve already gotten two compliments on my headshot. I also was amazed at how normal Iain looked like.
IAIN “WANKS GOATS” BURNSIDE: I’m only normal to the trained eye.
MATT “FEARS GOATS” MORRISON: Who do I look more like? Lobo? Or Rob Zombie?
IAIN: Kinda like what Alan Moore would look like if he never got out of the DC contract…
Also, Andy has a seriously fascinating shirt.
EUGENE “WORSHIPS GOATS” TIERNEY: I really like the layout too. Each zone can form their own identity (like the sports zone, COUGH*COUGHreadmystuffCOUGH*COUGH).
PAUL “BEADLES GOATS” BEASLEY: As far as the new site layout goes, I really think it looks more streamlined than v2.0, and that isn’t just the new-boy towing the party line to suck up to They-Who-Sit-Above-In-Smugness. I think it’s a big improvement. Of course, since I couldn’t get my Bio done in time for the relaunch, my page in the Rogues Gallery is conspicuously blank, but I like it that way. Mysterious, that’s me. I walk in shadows along paths that others fear to tread. I laugh in the face of fear, and tweak the nose of the dreadful spindly killer-fish. I just wanna know why I’m the only one that didn’t get a capital at the start of my name. I need the authority that a capital brings, dammit! Bring me a capital letter, and the finest wines known to man!
TIM “SMUGGLES GOATS” STEVENS: The new design is good, but the sports section? God… that sucks huh? It would be so much better if they cut this one writer. What’s his name… ugh… I can’t seem to remember. Eugenics or something weird like that.
This is from a few weeks back but it’s an interesting read that’s ripe for some Roundtable pluckin’. If you haven’t already done so, check out Mark Millar’s thoughts on why Hollywood will kill comic books.
FLOYD “OBJECTIFIES GOATS” KERMODE: Apart from wondering if I should take another picture, I think the new look is just dandy! As for the argument that comics will run out of talent – well that assumes that it’s all talent to begin with (which it isn’t) and that the supply of talent is finite. If everyone who drew and/or wrote comics now were wiped out by a very specific virus, they’d be replaced.
JAMIE: To paraphrase – Millar is stating that because artists and creators are moving to Hollywood so sooner or later we’re going to see a bottom out in the number of great talents we have. His argument is sound except he is missing one huge part of his argument (and I very well might go there and respond) – he’s missing the Whedon quotient. The number of artists and creators that are coming TO comics FROM Hollywood. It’s not a bad list either.
JMS, Whedon, Heinberg, Singer (bwahahaha), and that guy who owns BET…
He might be right on this consistent pattern of rises and falls, and he is correct that we have yet to see our generation’s WATCHMEN or DKR, but there are some titles that if they had come out in that era of comics, would have been pulling that much hype. Internet killed the hype machine, so we kinda all sit midline. In the mid-80s BKV would have been looked upon unto a God.
IAIN: I don’t think Millar means comics will never recover from a Hollywood raid. He’s had this boom-and-bust, sine graph theory about the industry for a while and it’s quite accurate. The problem is that after the next bust, there won’t be another significant boom without serious modification to the way publishers present their stories. It’s not just Hollywood, it’s technological changes too. I mean, the Ultimate Avengers DVDs are selling nearly 1 million copies each. Imagine how many copies could be sold of a *good* Marvel animation. Imagine how successful Runaways could be if they adapted it into a cartoon with Whedon at the helm. Imagine how many people DC comics could reach on a daily basis if AOL-Warner developed a decent download scheme for their books. Imagine if the cream of the next wave of talented creators didn’t want to work at the Big Two but kept their creator-owned stories, published them online, flogged merchandise and books on their own site and kept 100% of the profits rather than whatever scraps they could get for the ‘privilege’ of writing Superman.
And so on.
Adapt or die, I guess.
MATT: Typical Millar gloom and doom. His entire scenario is dependant on the idea that every single creator in comics is going to jump ship to go make movies and that the newbies brought into to replace them are going to be horrible and make people stop reading the books.
Here’s the sad truth though: people who actually read their comics and care about the writing aren’t in the majority. Most readers, if they read at all, care more about character than any particular superstar writer – something that I’m sure kills Millar’s heart to hear – but it was the case with most of my customers back in the day when I worked the comic shop beat.
And give editorial some credit – not EVERY single new person they hire is going to be horrible. They might actually find some exciting new talents like they did the last time there was a “bust” in the comic industry… just like back in the 90’s when they found a “talent” like Mark Millar.
What I think is a bigger problem is what Marvel is doing now – putting more and more effort into trying to get writers from other genres into comics, however briefly, for the sake of having a big name on the book… as if there’s no way anyone is going to care about a Storm/Black Lightning romance unless we have Eric Jerome Dickey writing it…
IAIN: It’s not just that they are so determined to get these ‘foreign’ writers, it’s that they give them so much leeway. Kevin Smith? The Lost guy on Ultimate Wolverine/Hulk? Bryan Singer taking a good three years to maybe contemplate telling somebody else what to script on Ultimate X-Men? Stephen King delaying the Dark Tower thing before it was even solicited (but not before it was announced), even though by all accounts he’s doing nothing more than approving whatever PAD and Jae Lee come up with? Sheesh. If they want to work on a comic and they’re talented enough to produce good work, that’s fine. Just make sure they actually do the bloody work on time and are worth bothering with in the first place.
From the “um, sure, why not” pile – Geoff Johns and J.G. Jones will do ALL-STAR BATGIRL
JAMIE: Not only will she be a lesbian, she will be able to both walk and not walk simultaneously like a strange sort of Schrödinge’s Bat. That’s my prediction.
MATT: Finally – a book meeting the serious demand for a book featuring the real Batgirl!
*pokes the Cassandra Cain fans a little more and laughs evilly*
How does that feel? Huh? Huh? Let me taste your tears — they are so sweet!
PAUL “TICKLES GOATS” SEBERT: I suppose the only two real question about this is whether or not Frank Miller will be have completely run the All-Star brand-name into the ground by the time this comes out.
But at least it’s nice to see them doing something with the Batgirl brand name after giving Cassandra Caine the stupidest heal turn since Kevin Nash laid down for a finger poke.
IAIN: So, one Batgirl can’t walk, the other Batgirl is eeeeeeeeeevil, and Batwoman is a lesbian. Clearly, Bruce Wayne was never breast fed.
BEADLE: All-Star Batgirl? Yay, bring new readers in then tell them that their favourite character is a paraplegic in the main DCU. Makes a whole lotta sense to me. But what do I know? I think Cheesestring is a great idea.
PAUL: Wait, Matt… the “real” Batgirl? You mean they’re going to bring back Betty Kane? Isn’t She Flamebird now?
And to be honest I never understood Bronze Age fans fixation with the “real” versions of characters. I never understood why some fans saw Hal Jordan as more “real” than Kyle, when it seemed like the only time Hal had to deal with real life problems was when he on road trips with Ollie. Likewise I never can understand the whining minority on the Geoff Johns message board that was SHOCKED and APPAULED that the producers of the Justice League cartoon used Wally instead of Barry Allen. And don’t give me that crap about Barbara Gordon being iconic (quite possibly the most misused word in comic fandom.) Hey… I’m glad Geoff and J.G. Jones are going to be writing some good Barbara stories, but that still doesn’t explain the editorial malpractice DC committed to a book which at the time of its cancellation was outselling Hawkman.
TIM STEVENS: I was so with you until that last sentence. Is that a Batgirl (Cassie) reference? If so, I’m sorry, but I’m all out of sympathy for the “how could they do that to her” crowd. Especially when it’s paired with an argument about not overreacting about changeovers in characters.
MATT: You do not understand. And that is why you fail.
*gets out the poking stick*
Don’t worry though. I hear Cassie is coming back… as a villain in Teen Titans… with Geoff Johns writing. And it will be 10 times better than her entire series for that reason alone.
*evil grin*
Now cry for me some more, fanboy! Pappa is thirsty.
TIM: There is something good about what you do.
FLOYD: For me the only real Green Lantern is the Wally who was in Ennis’ ‘Hitman’ story.
EUGENE: All Star Batgirl could work, but I’d rather see a few of the bigger characters get their shot first. AS Green Lantern would be cool, as would AS Flash with Geoff Johns. I just think it’s too early for supporting characters to have their own titles.
ANDY LOGAN: Personally, I don’t want to see the All-Star line watered down too much by adding too many titles. Only the true Icon’s and the long standing characters that have held a certain status of popularity and recognition should be given the “honour”.
So, aside from Supes, Bats and Wonder Woman, I’d say Green Lantern, Flash and maybe even an All-Star JLA or JSA. At a push, maybe Green Arrow or Aquaman.
I’ve forgotten someone, haven’t I? Mind you, who’s to say, aside from the obvious “big three” who the other main characters or icons of DC are? I guess it’s all about personal taste. I’ve always been a huge mark for Green Arrow and Nightwing, but don’t think either of them would necessarily deserve the “All-Star” treatment.
Unless, of course, we’re talking an anthology or collected tales style book in which the focused characters and story-lines rotate. THAT could work…yeah, that could work jes’ fine…
TIM: I sort of understand what you’re saying, but the “mission” of the All-Star line is so muddled that I’m not convinced this makes it any worse. At this point, since there is no clear All-Star vision, I say whatever. If someone has a good story and it is continuity free but true to the “source” of the character, what the hell, toss it on the All-Star line.
BEADLE: Only other All Star title I can see working apart from those you just mentioned would be All Star Captain Marvel.
LOGAN: Yup, I can see that working, good call.
IAIN: I’m confused by the “All-Star” brand name now. Wasn’t it just meant to be big name creators on big name characters, without continuity? Geoff Johns is a good writer but I don’t think he’s ever really sold books in Grant Morrison numbers, let alone Frank Miller.
But, hey, whatever. The only thing that matters is if it’s good or not. And I’m still hopeful of an All-Star Catwoman by Darwyn Cooke.
COREN “CORENS GOATS” COREN: Never mind that of all people, Geoff Johns isn’t one who needs to be on a book “without continuity”. That guy makes obscure stories his playground, and seems to thrive on resolving gaps in continuity.
Also, don’t count on seeing All-Star Nightwing anytime soon, unless they distance the franchise from Dick Grayson, and I don’t see that happening. They’d be better off making an All-Star Flash starring Barry and an All-Star GL starring Hal, then letting people play with those so that A) we’re not stuck with the most boring Green Lantern there is (give John, Kyle, Guy, Kilowog, G’Nort, ANYONE that title for the love of god) and B) people stuck on living in the past and complaining about 20 year old + dead characters can still have books starring their favourites without having to deal with things like “Oh, it was all MIND CONTROL! Hal is good again!”
LOGAN: Hmm, interesting… how would you see DC putting distance between Dick Grayson and an All-Star Nightwing franchise?
Maybe make it about the original Kryptonian hero?
IAIN: Well if they had been brave enough to go ahead and kill Dick off in the Infinite Splat then an All-Star book would have been easy enough to make. This would also have spared us the unwarranted trauma that was Stephanie Brown.
Hindsight, etc.
TIM: I think Stephanie Brown was dead regardless of Dick Grayson’s fate. That decision was made long before the Infinite Crisis.
IAIN: From what I can make out the reason they did the Stephanie Brown story was because they knew Jason Todd was coming back but they still wanted there to be a dead Robin.
LOGAN: Ok, let’s run with this – aside from Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman, what (allegedly) iconic character would you most like to see killed off from either – or both – of DC and Marvel, and why?
As much as I love the guy, I’d go for Nightwing from DC, because I think the story repercussions and possibilities are immense. (Not that his death would stick for long, but that’s a different topic entirely).
And from Marvel…Captain America – as long as it’s Tony Stark who – either accidentally, or by omission of action, or even – gasp! – deliberately, who does it. It would be a great way to wind up Civil War, and would cement Iron Man’s status as either an all-out villain or at the very least, a seriously deluded, driven character who will stop at nothing to achieve his aims.
Your turn chaps….
IAIN: There’s no reason whatsoever for Hal Jordan to exist anymore, so ditch him. Either keep Kyle doing his Ion thing in Ion Space, or bump him off too. Guy stays away in the Corps, or we’ll get rid of him as well. Bottom line is that Earth has only one Green Lantern and it’s John Stewart.
And I’ve not got a clue why they keep someone with kinda different powers but the same name around, so wave bye-bye to Alan Scott. He’s almost as useless as Hal.
And if they did that, they should keep the Green v.2.0 thing going and kill off Oliver Queen so that Connor Hawke can finally be completely moved up a notch.
And ditch all the Flashes except for one. I don’t care which, but just stick to one of them and stop farting around with the f*cking Speed Force gobshite.
And Donna Troy is the first against the wall.
And, most importantly, RESIST THE TEMPTATION TO BRING ANY OF THESE PEOPLE BACK!!!!
TIM: Oddly enough, I mostly support your choice Iain. I don’t necessarily see the need to off the old timers (Alan and Jay) as they largely referred by their real names, not their superhero names anyway and they typically occupy a small corner of the universe where they are largely isolated.
Unfortunately, given how recently Ollie and Hal came back, I think it would sort of be a waste to send them off again. I’d support having never brought them back in the first place, but, sadly, that’s unlikely.
WILL “DEBATES GOATS” COOLING: I think they should keep Hal Jordan and do a gay romance story. I mean, c’mon if there’s crazies like HEAT running around then you may as well go the extra mile to annoy them. Plus Hal Jordan is quite sexy when he keeps his boring mouth shut.
PAUL: Ok… if I’d have to kill one iconic DC character… well I’d have to go with Hawkman.
Who let’s face it, despite the best effort of several writers hasn’t made a lick of sense ever since Zero Hour. All of Superboy Prime’s best punching can’t make his back-story coherent.
My second runner up would be either Donna Troy or Captain Atom, who are both poster children for continuity gone horribly awry.
KEVIN “EDITS GOATS” MAHONEY: Oh Lord! To be able to kill off any iconic character? Really? Nifty concept. For me, the Marvel choice is ultra-easy. Scott Summers has got to go. Kill him off in a big battle that teaches 616 about diversity, but kill him. I never saw him develop past his Xavier protégé/love interest to whomever status. And as an original X-Man, he’s close enough to Marvel’s icons.
DC? That’s harder. If a certain someone hadn’t just shot the Joker in the face, that’d be my answer. He’s pretty much run his course and even though he’s a great arch villain, most of the cool crazy person stories have been done already.
TIM: Arrgh… leave Scott alone. Killing a character because someone (or several someones) have been too lazy or disinterested to write them well is such a cop out.
And can I comment on the irony of us looking for characters to kill when a few months ago (and, inevitably, a few months from now) we were (or will be) complaining about how unnecessarily bloodthirsty the Big 2 are? Death storylines can be good, but they are just another trick in the bag. They aren’t a solution to characters you don’t like.
That said, I’d kill CM3. Like a dozen times.
LOGAN: That’s a fair point, but I think the deal here is to try and find a character who’s death could be both meaningful and really impact on the entire relevant comic universe in the biggest way. It’s not about just killing for killing’s sake, it’s more – who has run their course as a character, and who has the most potential to change the dynamics around them via a sacrifice, noble or otherwise.
And I also agree that often it’s not about the character, it’s about the way they’re written. However, when names such as Claremont, Whedon, Morrison, Austen (yes, I’m putting him in there, I quite liked some of his work, dammitalltohell!) Casey, and, I’m sure, others that I can’t be arsed to check out, have failed to ignite a spark and left Cyclops wallowing in banality, surely something other than bad writing has to be at work?
Meh, I would pick Captain America to off anyway, so what would I know?
KEVIN: I just don’t think you can do anything with Scott, that hasn’t been done to death or is true to the character. He’s the living embodiment of Xavier’s dream. That sucks. He’s Captain One Dimensional. Other than forcing him apart from any X-thing for a good long while (Space or Time exile) and pushing him in totally new directions (like having him join the Exiles and getting them to fix his mutant power so he doesn’t need a visor for a start) are the only things that would even begin to save Scott from boredom for me.
I feel the same way about the Joker, but really that took 60 years instead of 30, and to be fair every time some historical/scientific event redefines “crazy” new Joker stories open up for creative writers. Scott is just a stick.
BEADLE: I never said “Kill Scott”. I just said that of my completely arbitrary list of Marvel icons, he (or Charlie) would be MORE LIKELY to be killed. My vote was definitively for Mrs T’Challa.
IAIN: If any Marvel hero/icon/character should be permanently offed, it’s Xavier. The whole point of his character is to try and spread a message of equality, tolerance and respect – and that would be even more powerful in death than in life (Ghandi, MLK, etc.). Keeping him around restricts the amount of growth characters like Scott, Ororo and Magneto can have and only winds up muddling Xavier’s personality by turning him into an ultimate bastard. I mean, murder in the womb? Really…
Plus, the movies already did it, so Quesada should already have it on his priority list.
LOGAN: Interesting to note that so far, the consensus for Marvel has been to kill off Cyclops, but for DC its more diverse…does that mean Marvel has the most one dimensional and disposable “iconic” (of sorts) character of all? Or does it just mean that DC has a higher percentage of mediocre incumbents, all of whom are bland and annoying enough to warrant disposing of, but none of which stand out as sucky enough to polarise opinion against them? And is sucky even a real word?
IAIN: Sucky is a real word but, for all our sakes, it should never be combined with wank.
And DC’s been around just that wee bit longer to have acquired more incumbents, with the knock-on effect of muddling more of them due to their refusal to let go of anything, ever.
LOGAN: There’s a real theme emerging in this Roundtable around the “wank” isn’t there?
EUGENE: Marvel’s Icon still have something to add. You couldn’t kill Spider-Man because of his ever changing life that creates new stories, the fact that he has a movie franchise that pushes the character in the main stream, and fan out cry would kill Marvel. I see the same with Captain America, but using him with current events.
My pick would be the Thing. He is an icon, the F4 movie isn’t at the level as Spider-Man’s, and, as long as it was a meaningful death, could impact the fans greatly.
On the DC side, I agree with the streamlining of multiple heroes with the same name (human GLs, Flashes, etc). The other character that could have an impact would be Elongated Man. He has had his world turned upside down, it could inspire heroes, and it would put him with his wife.
TIM: I don’t like to play this card a lot, but here it is.
No.
The Thing cannot be killed. Ever.
I’m sorry to pull rank, but that’s the way it is.
Deal with it Eugene. Deal with it.
EUGENE: Nothing against the Thing, but he is universally known, very few dislike him, and it could be a major event. The heroes all love him, so it would be a bigger deal than someone like Cyclops (he would be just another dead mutant in their world).
TIM “INVALIDATES GOATS” SHERIDAN: Could the Rock kill the Thing?
TIM: Did I not make this clear?
No, the Rock cannot kill the Thing.
The Rock can, however, kill Batista as Batista is nothing but Rock-lite.
IAIN: But what can stop The Grimace?
SHERIDAN: Nothing can stop the Grimace.
TIM: We should talk about something more important. Like when will the Hamburgular finally be brought to justice?
From the “six of one, half a dozen of the other” pile – J. Michael Straczynski to leave FANTASTIC FOUR and do THOR instead
EUGENE: I don’t read Thor. I haven’t read JMS titles since Amazing Spider-Man #500. Don’t really care.
MATT: Neil Gaiman was just busy with other things, I’m sure. *snickers*
No, seriously – I think this will be very much up Joe’s alley, mythology geek that he is. I just wish they’d actually let him do a Dr. Strange title…
IAIN: I just wish that he’d have ditched ASM instead of FF. Ah, well.
PAUL: J.M.S’s stuff is hit and miss as of late but I’m mildly interested… granted to be honest Disassembled, and the Thor Son of Asgard series was the only time I actually really got into the character.
BEADLE: JMS on Thor? Hmmmm… well if it isn’t going to be Gaiman, then I suppose JMS isn’t a disastrous idea. At least it means Thor’ll get pushed front and centre, what with JMS being one of the chosen few and all. And he does like his mysticism & mythology stuff, which’ll fit a whole lot better here than with Spidey or the FF. But if Thor ends up fighting the Vorlons, I’m gonna… well,….. read it, probably. In fact I’m looking forward to the day when JMS reveals that Thor is not Thor because he was chosen by immortals as worthy to possess the hammer, but because he was bitten by a radioactive weatherman. Give the FF to someone who gives a crap about them.
TIM: Can I just say that I don’t care if JMS is coming on Thor or any other book for that matter. Also, from what I understand Babylon 5 was one of the worst TV series ever.
Yes, Jamie, that’s for you. Enjoy your bitter, bitter sadness.
From the “a-woo-hoo, a-woo-hoo” pile – Joss Whedon and Michael Ryan to do RUNAWAYS, starting with issue #25:
JAMIE: Think it will be on time?
Do we then care?
Admittedly, it’s the first bit of comic news in years to give me a chill.
EUGENE: I was excited to hear Whedon is taking over Runaways, but does this mean it will come out every 2-3 months? Astonishing X-Men has lost a lot after the first arc because of the time between issues. I don’t want Runaways to be the same way.
MATT: Because all fine quality Marvel Comics should only come out bi-monthly…
IAIN: AXM is back on a monthly schedule now…
LOGAN: Aside from the first arc of Astonishing, and the consistently excellent artwork, I haven’t been massively impressed by Whedon’s run. Having said that, I like the idea of him on Runaways. If anyone can capture the teen angst dynamic in the same way Vaughan has, it’s
Whedon.
PAUL: Ok… I know that Whedon’s a huge fan of the characters, has a major fanbase, and will attract lots of outside attention to the book, but was anyone else secretly hoping the book’s new writer was going to be Sean McKeever?
BEADLE: Vaughan leaving Runaways is the saddest thing I’ve heard since they told me little Jackie Paper stopped going to see Puff the Magic Dragon in the land of Honolee. But if he is leaving, then the obvious choice to take over is not Whedon, it’s McKeever. 1) He excels at the teen-stuff (OK, Whedon’s done FAIRLY well in that vein in the past, but still…). 2) He’s already shown he can pick up a Vaughan book and carry it without any transition or change of tone at all. He did it with Mystique, and he’d sure as hell do a great job with Runaways. 3) He can write more than 3 books a year. I like Whedon, but I like my monthly fix of Runaways more. Nobody is going to convince me we’ll be seeing more than half a dozen issues a year with Whedon at the helm.
IAIN: McKeever doesn’t need scraps, he needs a three-course meal. Spider-Man Family is a start but it’s still going to be one of those unnecessary books that nobody really bothers with, leading to a cancellation in two years time. Try him out on a major Marvel book and see how he does. Don’t just waste him on stuff like Gravity and Sentinel while the Chosen Ones sit above the glass ceiling on their golden recliners, discussing whether or not Mark Millar’s dick is bigger than Bendis’ dick via an exhausting tug of war contest.
Besides, Whedon = more sales = more exposure = less chance of Runaways getting cancelled again = more chance of them becoming Marvel mainstays = less for the Runaways fans to moan about.
So, yeah. I just hope Marvel hurries up with the next HC so I can finally read season two. Anybody who spoils any of it gets their teeth replaced with tetanus-infested nails in their sleep.
TIM: But…but Gravity was really good.
IAIN: Yup. So was Sentinel. So is SLMJ. But I’d still like the guy to get a shot at writing a title that more people actually pay attention to. I think a McKeever/Slott driven Spider-Man era is just what the franchise needs after the JMS/Millar fiasco of recent years.
BEADLE: Yup. Spidey being written by McKeever, Slott and PAD (or even McKeever, Slott and Kirkman) would be great. Just stick to guys who write like you’d imagine Spidey actually speaking.
TIM: As far as I am concerned, Kirkman should not be allowed to write Spidey. Have you read his Marvel work? He might do great things creator owned wise, but when it comes to for hire, he always disappoints.
LOGAN: Agreed. Invincible and Walking Dead are magnificent titles, though even they have slightly lost their way in recent times.
Ultimate X-Men is readable but bland and Marvel Team-Up was mostly appalling, judging by the issue’s I read before I dropped it.
WILL: Kirkman is a decent enough character writer but I’ve never been overly impressed with his plots. He’s struggling to find his voice in mainstream comics because he doesn’t have the freedom/control to have his characters mature and develop like they do in his indie work.
IAIN: Well then fuk him.
LOGAN: Iain, have you been drinking again? ;o)
IAIN: Honestly, I am so tired of liquids.
BEADLE: You ask that question like there was a break between drinking…..
I think he even drinks in his sleep. The question should have been “Iain, are you drinking still?”
From the “but mummy I want one” pile – Marvel to release an 816-page DAREDEVIL OMNIBUS collecting the Frank Miller run:
JAMIE: I live in a blessed world where my darling Danielle and I share geekdom. This book isn’t a huge megalithic $105, it’s an easy to swallow $52.50.
What’s my advice: Find a chick who digs comics and cling to her like the day is long. Bathe first if necessary.
MATT: Because Marvel was not making enough big-damn books out of things everyone already had.
IAIN: No. No they were not. Thankfully, unlike the Alias Omnibus, I don’t already own these issues and so it will be mine. Oh yes, it WILL be mine…
I feel so f*cking outdated quoting Wayne’s World. If I ever meet Father Time I’m going to kick him in the nuts.
PAUL: I’d like one… but I’d probably throw my back out trying to read it.
Oh on a side note, has anyone else read up the sad, sad saga of James Meeley that went down on When Fangirls Attack the other day? Fandom Wank has a pretty good summary…
MATT: Calling this guy a sad sack is an insult to all sacks everywhere, sad or no.
You know what I say when someone who doesn’t like my writing links to me and sends me more readers?
“Thank you, Mr. Kurtz.” >:)
BEADLE: Can we say “wank” in this column? Cool! Wank. Just wanted to say it.
IAIN: Wank, wank, wank, wank, wank.
My right arm is still in a sling. Coincidence?
Check it out – the next Runaways HC comes out in December:
I can now call off the hounds.
Also, Nextwave #11 wins the Best. Cover. Ever. contest that we weren’t having.
Similarly, She-Hulk #14 is a strong contender for Best. Story Title. Ever.
We could have a Best. Wank. Ever. contest but that would kill V3 from the get-go.
BEADLE: Nextwave is indeed the best cover ever. Even down to the “Screw the Civil War colour-scheme, we’re using tartan!” But Ellis needs to know that explode was always a verb.
IAIN: Wow, DC is finally releasing a second Fallen Angel collection. I wonder if I still care?
MATT: It’s Peter David. Of course I didn’t care. And – wait – I’m getting something…
*waves his hand and does the Mentok the Mind-Taker noise*
Nope. Still don’t care.
IAIN: Annnnd a new FF writer is announced.
PAUL: Whoa… Nice to see Dwayne McDuffie doing some more comics work after JLU. (Oh and if you’re not reading The Beyond, then shame on you.)
FLOYD: Shame on me indeed! What is the Beyond and why should I be reading it?
MANOLIS “MOSTLY AVOIDS GOAT-RELATED TOMFOOLERY” VAMVOUNIS: Go read LYSAD for the past 2 months and find out. I’ve been raving about this title since issue 2 came out!
Dwayne McDuffie should replace Bendis on the Avengers, pronto ;)
BEADLE: Manolis – your acronym (LYSAD). Shouldn’t it be LYSATD? Or are you from somewhere in the wilds of Yorkshire (“Leave Your Spandex At’ Door, tha daft apeth!”).
And as for the Crystal Hair Clip thing, dammit. That’s gotta be some seriously unwieldy hair decoration.
Oh, and Beyond rocks ‘n stuff. Diet Secret Wars with more attitude.
MANOLIS: But it’s Leave Your Spandex At the Door. ‘the’ is not capital.
Or, LYSAD just sounds better :)
Did I mention that I now have a weekly poll on the column for panel of the week? go vote!
IAIN: Check this out…
Robert Downey Jr gets the lead in the Iron Man movie?
SHERIDAN: I am pumped about this. He’s always been one of my favorite actors, and I think he’ll do great as Iron Man. He’s got the right amount of charm and intensity for Tony Stark. And if they get into the alcohol abuse in the next movie, he can tap into his own dark side. I’m already looking forward to this movie.
IAIN: Yup, it’s certainly accurate casting. Great that they didn’t go with some OC prettyboy instead of a genuinely talented, experienced actor. I don’t really care about Iron Man but I’d pay to go and see RDJ playing Tony Stark.
MATT: I don’t trust AICN further than I can thrown them.
That said, given Downey’s record of drug problems… this is either utter brilliance or a sick joke.
SHERIDAN: It’s not just from AICN, this was in all the trades yesterday too, so it’s official now.
FLOYD: If I had my druthers, it’d be Timothy Dalton, but never mind. RD Jr is a great actor, that’s for sure.
BEADLE: Now if we can only find some way of having Val Kilmer play Rhodey without channelling the non-PC spirit of Al Jolson, then the world will be right. Kiss Kiss Repulsor Repulsor would be a frickin superb film. Although methinks Kilmer might be steering clear of millionaire playboy costumed crimefighters nowadays.
And, lest we forget, this column is still brought to you by the word “wank”. But that word shall not be applied to RDJ in an iron suit. That stuff really messes up the servos.
KEVIN: Not to mention the chafing, the horrible chafing. I wish the casting were
as good for the Ghost Rider movie…
MATT: Civil War Parody
There are no words. Suffice it to say, any weekend but this one, this would be the most darkly funny thing I would have read all weekend.
FLOYD: That’s very funny. I’ve got NO intention of reading Civil War itself, unless it shows up in a book in my library at some later date, but I’ve no doubt this was funnier.
MATT: Depends on your feelings about dark comedy.
Personally, I’d feel better if that WERE the real comic. Then I could at least comfort myself knowing that it was too cartoonish for anyone to take seriously.
As it is, I worry… is there anyone who thinks that Tony Stark and Reed Richards ARE being reasonable at this point?
IAIN: Dunno, I’m not reading the book. But if this were taking place in the real world then the government would want to regulate superhero activities and the public would support that rather than have buildings smashed up all over the place. It’s bad enough when the council digs the roads up. So, logic is on their side and I guess Millar is trying to counter that by making them seem so very, well, non-good. The problem is that this takes place in the Marvel Universe, not the real world, and in that context not much of it seems to make sense.
Also, what are SHIELD doing throughout all of this? Has there been any mention of the international scene, or is it just yet another “everybody copies America” scenario?
And, hey, maybe Reed’s trying to bring them down from the inside. Granted, he seems to be doing as bad a job of it as Homer Simpson bringing down the nuclear power plant from the inside, but it could at least redeem his character by the end of the series…
MATT: SHIELD is firmly behind the act and they now have a special anti-superhero Task Force that have been trying to hunt down Captain America and the other rogue heroes. It’s worth noting that Nick Fury is no longer with SHIELD and is in fact helping the Rogue Heroes, who are using Nick’s old hideouts as bases.
More worrying is the fact that the X-Men have been basically written out of the story because Tony went to Emma (apparently, they used to be Friends With Benefits in the Hellfire Club days) and got her to agree to keep the X-Men neutral on the fight.
BEADLE: Except for Bishop who’s working for the feds (therefore pro-reg), and the currently non-dead original X-Men who are firmly in the corner of the escaped 198, and therefore anti-reg.
And since the end of Bendis’ Secret War, SHIELD is apparently an international organisation in name only, as Maria Hill is reporting directly to the Prez.
For me the one argument that Cap’s side haven’t used yet is that “Who is actually going to defend the safety of the individuals if all this goes through?”. If the Government control all the heroes, then they’ll prioritise what they’re doing. And shutting down Kim Jong Il in North Korea might be seen as a better use of their resources than stopping a 17-year old kid from stealing Mrs Arbuckle’s purse. Cap’s side don’t need any more arguments apart from the ones that the “Tony and Reed are Dicks Show” isn’t giving them, but if they did, that would be a biggie.
MANOLIS: Bishop working for the registration side doesn’t make any sense to me. He comes from a dystopic future which was almost a direct cause of a registration act like this, wih mutants getting branded and sentinels policing everyone, etc. Why would he now help this come to pass? The ‘I’m a cop” excuse has worn off.
From the start of Civil War we’ve seen the anti-reg guys hunt down villains, while the pro-reg guys hunt the anti-reg heroes and then spring more villains out of prison to hunt the heroes down.
Seriously now. It’s Cap, Hercules, IronFist, Luke Cage, Falcon, Cloak&Dagger and a bunch of untrained teenagers. They’re ALL fists, while the pro-reg side is mostly energy bursts. How they still face difficulties and have to resort to cloning gods is silly…
BEADLE: Yeah, I’ve thought that for a while. The sides are seriously unbalanced (which may lead to the REAL Thor coming back and changing things a little). I know when WWHulk starts up; which incidentally I’m surprised Vince McMahon didn’t change the name of his company to quite some time ago; the balance’ll be more than a little redressed as Hulk gets medieval on Tony & Reed’s asses, but still…..
Even if you forget the rest of the pro-reg guys, then Ms Marvel, Wonder Man, Atlas, Iron Man, Moonstone-Zemo and the frickin’ Sentry should be enough to sort out Cap’s merry band of non-heavy-hitters (Herc excepted) without breaking a sweat. When Cable was around it was closer to being even, but still stupidly one-sided. Maybe Black Bolt and Namor are going to change things. We can but hope.
Any bets on who Bullseye’ll end up killing?
LOGAN: I think I read somewhere that next summer’s “Big Event” is WW Hulk? If that’s the case, I’m guessing Big Green won’t be back in time to make a difference to Civil War… unless he arrives at the end and they somewhere manage to get rid of him for another few months when it’s all over!
I mean, it worked on BA in the A-Team every time, didn’t it?
“Hey BA! I know we’re at the airport, but eat this burger. Again.”
IAIN: Well, who’s to say the Hulk in space is the one, true Hulk? If Stark can clone a god, he can certainly clone a psychotic-depressive. Maybe Banner is sequestered in a secret lab somewhere, having his blood extracted and DNA experimented on to try and create a Hulk army to act as enforcers for the pro-reg side, and then…
Actually, I’ll stop myself there. Clearly I’ve come down with a bad case of Millaritis.
The End… For Now!
It never ends, really. They won’t let us sleep anymore, you know… toilet breaks are restricted to birthday presents… oh, the woes of a Nexus writer…
Hey, you going to eat that?
