Slayer’s Wrestling and Stuff!
Hi Everybody! Welcome to another edition of Slayer’s Wrestling and Stuff! Before we get started, I do want to apologize that this column isn’t going to be my best effort due to this being a long day and busy week”¦..actually, that’s not true. All I did today was watch the MLB playoffs, get fit for a tuxedo, and watched No Mercy 2001. But, since that seems to be how every column starts around here, I just wanted to be cool like everyone else.
Anyway, I really have no idea if this will be a good column or not, I just began the second paragraph. Let’s find out, shall we?
We now go to our very first DVD review. For an explanation of how this whole thing works, go to last’s week column by clicking on this cheap plug for myself.
So in 1-3 days (depending on when this gets published) No Mercy will air on PPV. While on most weeks, the DVD I review will be based on my roulette table, on some weeks I will try to make it all like appropriate to the time-continuum or something like that. So in celebration of the upcoming PPV, let’s review”¦..
NO MERCY (2001)
THE CONTEXT
Ohhhhhhh, the good ole WWF vs. The Alliance feud. The whole storyline gets a bad rap but don’t believe the hype kids, that was just silly IWC writers complaining. However, I will say it wasn’t good either. It was more that it was just a disappointing letdown. First off, outside of their control, three of their best wrestlers (Eddie, Benoit, and HHH) were on the “unable to perform” list. Also, despite the fact that that the WWF (as it was known at the time) would not buy out the existing WCW contracts, what they did get, was good enough. And it actually started quite nicely and provided some classic moments.
Then it all went to hell.
I mean the thing just went insane. The bookers went on a coke-binge or something and turned the whole thing into a complex quadratic algorithm. There were about 97 belts floating around, you needed a scorecard to keep up on who was one whose side, the fans were completely rejecting face and heel pushes and cheering for whoever they wanted, and the Alliance went from trying to establish themselves as a legitimate wrestling company to just becoming silly rebels without a cause that were inferior to the WWF superstars”¦except for the WWF superstars that were in the alliance”¦.and Booker T”¦..and Rob Van Dam..but RVD did that by himself and basically forced the WWF to push him. It was a mess folks. But with that said, the PPVs were still pretty good and No Mercy is no exception. In fact, it’s arguably one of the best of the “non-major” PPVs of its time.
THE EVENT
October 21, 2001-St. Louis, Missouri (always a good crowd)
Your hosts are Jim Ross and Paul Heyman
Let’s quickly go over the matches. Now I’ll be all like journalistic and shit and tell you whose on whose side and who has which belt but folks, don’t pay attention to it, it makes no sense. It’s best to just concentrate on the matches. We don’t go into details (plenty of people here better then me that do that) and I don’t rate each match because”¦I personally always found that to be annoying.
WCW Tag Team Championship
Challengers:Lance Storm w/Ivory & The Hurricane [European Champion] w/Mighty Molly (Alliance) vs.Champions: The Hardy Boyz w/Lita (WWF)
Nice opener with everyone’s two favorite wrestlers and two people knowing at the time they had better perform if they wanted to keep their job. The divas get their licks in too. Seven great performers in one match, can’t really go wrong.
Another Stephanie Really Does Love Test Match
Kane (WWF) vs. Test (Alliance)
Don’t ask why Test is in the alliance. Like I said, best to not pay attention to any of it. Anyway, we’re in the middle of another Test push that would fail despite the man being given every opportunity one can ask for. I believe this was push #47. Well, that’s a hyperbole of course. It was actually push #5. Anyway, the match isn’t as bad as it sounds. Kane did a descent job carrying it and Test even lived up to his part of the bargain. Anyway, the fun stuff comes afterwards when Kane destroys Nick Patrick.
First Ever Lingerie Match
Stacy Kiebler (Alliance) vs. Torrie Wilson (technically Alliance, but not really because she was going out with Tajiri”¦whatever)
This was a dam good Diva match filled with plenty of sexiness and descent wrestling by two gals who aren’t exactly grapplers. Check out the flashbacks of Torrie getting bubba bombed through a table. One of the many reasons, she has a job for life with the WWE.
WWF IC Ladder Match
Challenger: Edge (WWF) vs. Champion:Christian (The Alliance-he joined three days before the PPV)
I think I don’t have to say the obvious as even if you haven’t seen the match, you could probably guess. But for the rest of you, here is the simplest way to explain it. Edge + Christian + Ladders=Match of the Night”¦duh!
WWF Tag Team Championship
Challengers: Tajiri and Big Show vs. Champions: The Dudley Boyz
Guess who the weak link of this match is. No worries though, he’s like in the ring for 25 seconds so the other three were able to do their thing. Appearance by Rhyno too. Nice match.
Slayer’s Personal Dream Match
Bikertaker (WWF) vs. Booker T (Alliance)
Two of my favorite wrestlers. When this match happened, it was my own personal dream match come true. It’s also one hell of a match if I might say. Crowd was great too and this is when Booker T was really starting to get accepted by the WWF fans.
WCW Championship
Challenger: Chris Jericho vs. Champion: The Rock
They are both WWF fighting for the WCW championship”¦once again, just let it slide and enjoy this great match. It’s historical too as Jericho wins his first (second?) major championship. Rock was a pro and played the heel to compliment the fans rooting for Y2J as he was booked as an underdog. Stephanie makes an appearance too and if you don’t like her this PPV will appease. Seriously though, if you’re one of those people that HATES her, reexamine your life please.
WWF Championship
Challengers: Kurt Angle (WWF) vs. RVD (???)[Hardcore Champ] vs. Champion: Stone Cold Steve Austin.
After a bunch of great matches, it was going to be difficult for the Main Event to steal the show”¦.so they didn’t. Still a good match with some fun silliness by Vince and Shane.
As for the backstage shenanigans, you get to see some Regal which is always nice, a funny exchange between Coach and Debra (my favorite Diva ever) with Austin lurking in the background, plus you get to see the somewhat not so infamous scene where Cole drops Vince’s jacket. It’s also one of the few moments in the WWE mythology that you will see Mr. McMahon as a face.
Some other thoughts:
Remember when it was weird to here them say WWE at first? Now it’s weird to hear them say WWF.
This is one of the few times you will see a PPV that’s five years old and not see dead people. Then again that may not be true since Kurt Angle is on the cover.
Tallying it all together, this was an excellent PPV top to bottom that included Jericho’s first major title win. The rewatchability factor is also very high. Could have been a 6, but the Main Event was neither amazing or historically significant and it should at least be one or the other. Still, the event gets a not too shabby score of 5.5 (out of 6).
EXTRAS
None. Score is ZERO!
Total Score=5.5
A good example of how a great PPV becomes an average DVD. For shame”¦”¦”¦.
But, so what. If you see this PPV lying around in a store, buy it, you may never see it again and it’s an excellent show.
Well, that was a nice little appetizer, let’s go to the main course and on too (to?)”¦
SLAYER’S WWE DIVA WEEK IN REVIEW
Yes, last week I called it a recap. This week I’m calling it a week in review. Next week, I’m calling it something else. I’ll be playing around with the title for awhile if that’s ok with you guys.
It is?
Awwww, you people are awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let’s head on over to SMACKDOWN.
First, off McCool manages KC James & Idol Stevens against the Pitbulls for the #1 contendership. You know”¦I think I bought a McCool once from a 99 cent value menu.
If you stare at the tie-up long enough, it will turn into a giant ship!
McCool then decides to show off her secret power!
Like the Matrix she can slow time and make the world rotate to her favor”¦..impressive!
McCool then says “Bectcha 1000 dollars by next year, I’m the only one of the three still employed by the WWE.”
We then go to Chavo and Evil Vickie
Speaking of gambling, 4-1 odds these two hook up in real life.
Matt: “Hey now”¦.I know what you’re gonna do”¦you’re gonna interfere in my match, aren’t you? I just love wrestling and want to wrestle, that’s it. Leave me alone!”
Evil Vickie: “Matt, how long have you been with this company? No wonder you’re buried. Hell, even I surpassed you on the roster!”
Let’s go to RAW where we have our one Diva match this week.
WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT FIRST ROUND
Victoria vs. Mickie James
Folks, can we please stop saying “How come there are no brackets?” The answer is they don’t know what the brackets are. Why not? Maybe they’re waiting out a certain situation; maybe they are just lazy. Who cares!
“¦though brackets would have been nice”¦..
The grapple and Mickie is screams “Ew! Stop pulling the hair! What is like your malfunction”¦ugh!” Victoria then answers “You wanna know my problem?”
Victoria explains as she beings to scream and sob, “You stole my psycho gimmick, you stole my heel heat, and you stole my spot!”
Mickie screams “Fuck you bitch! Don’t blame me for your failed face turn where you acted like a complete loser.”
Victoria: NO! That wasn’t my fault”¦my psycho gimmick was catching on and gaining lots of fans and the dam writers wouldn’t let me keep it because they said it didn’t “befit a face.” Dam them!!!!!!!!!
Taking advantage of Victoria’s nervous breakdown, Mickie outwrestles her and gets the pin but not without saying “Besides, Victoria, I didn’t steal anything. I’m just the better wrestler.”
Afterwards, the WWE creative team said, “Ok Victoria, you can have your psycho gimmick back”¦but you’re not allowed to be cheered by the fans this time.” Victoria rejoices and begins to go insane for the television audience.
This was the Diva Match of the Week! I give it ****
Meanwhile,
Lita and Egde continue to ball room dance and were about to have violent sex until”¦.
Lita: Ummm”¦Edge”¦when was the last time you used a Q-tip?
Over in ECW, it was all about the Multi-Brand Strip Poker Game next week”¦.
Trinity: Christ, one little injury and they make me do this shit.
Kelly badly strips and says..”I’m an exhibitionist.” Yes Kelly, we know”¦
But what I really want is a baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On the other side of things”¦..
Not much to say here outside the fact making out with this girl would be a hell of alot of fun.
Good week in DivaLand., now for “¦”¦.
SLAYER’S DIVA OF THE WEEK
It goes to”¦”¦.
VICTORIA!
For once again becoming the psychotic amazon we all fell in love with back in the day!
Well, I fell in love with her anyway. No reason to get you all mixed up with my obsessions.
And with that the column comes to an end.
Next week I review: Best of Intercontinental Championship
No, I didn’t miss a word”¦they did”¦more on that next week.
Special thanks for Queen Alicia for the pic.
God Bless
