The Chrononaut Chronicles: TNA iMPACT! — Thursday, October 5, 2006
– We begin with a pretty good musical video package recapping last week’s events before going to Jeremy Borash in the office of Jim Cornette, who claims that “everybody in the world” wants to wrestle in TNA and he needs roster space, so he books a five-way gutcheck challenge between Eric Young, Shark Boy, Norman Smiley, Elix Skipper, and David Young with the loser being fired from TNA and orders them to go get ready. James Mitchell enters the room with Abyss and offers the Monster’s services to reclaim the NWA World Title belt from Samoa Joe in exchange for the first title shot after Bound For Glory. Cornette admits that Mitchell is the sleaziest man he knows, but accepts the offer and shakes the sinister minister’s hand to seal his deal with the devil as we go to the usual opening. I love Mitchell.
– Kazarian & Maverick Matt vs. Team 3D
Shane Douglas joins West & Tenay on commentary with the Naturals behind him to talk about Kurt Angle coming to TNA as Tenay rather nonchalantly announces that Angle will appear next week on Impact. Good solid tag action with Team 3D controlling Mazarian as we see AMW & Gail Kim watching from one stage and the James Gang watching from the other stage. Matt finally has the advantage on Ray as we go to break, and when we come back, Kazarian slaps Ray around until Ray answers back with stiff chops and makes the hot tag to Devon, who cleans house and slams Kazarian with the Saving Grace. Matt breaks the pinfall, but Ray & Devon plant the Maverick with the back-suplex/neckbreaker double-team and drill Kazarian with the 3D, allowing Devon to score the three-count.
Afterwards, Ray repeats their vow from last week of starting at the bottom and working their way up to a title shot, and notes that tonight was the second victory in their quest. The former Dudley claims that “it sucks” they don’t have a match at Bound For Glory yet and says they don’t care if it’s AMW, the Naturals, the “second-best tag team in the world” James Gang, or any team from the past, present, or future, nothing will stop Team 3D from finally winning the NWA World Tag Team Championship. Devon testifies. With Ray’s comment about teams from the past, this would be a great time to snatch up Justin Credible and sign Lance Storm and Dawn Marie to reform the Impact Players in TNA.
– A great video piece features Rhino back home on Eight Mile in Detroit, Michigan, talking about how he had to fight to survive every day growing up as his neighbors put him over as a positive role model. Rhino dedicates the Bound For Glory match against Christian to all the working-class fans as a neighbor states that Christian won’t just be fighting Rhino, he’ll be fighting the whole neighborhood. The War Machine promises to turn Christian’s dreams into nightmares when he welcomes him to his world in the 8 Mile Street Fight. Really great character development for Rhino to put him over as a combination of (call me crazy) Taz and Dusty Rhodes.
– James Mitchell is in the ring with Abyss and calls out Samoa Joe, who marches down with the NWA Title belt and slaps the shit out of Abyss, but the Monster chokeslams him and fondles the belt. Jeff Jarrett runs out and grabs the belt from Abyss, but Abyss and Joe pinball Jarrett and Joe decks JJ with the inverted atomic drop and the running one-foot dropkick before leaving with the gold. Abyss stops him, but Joe plants the Monster with the snap-powerslam and exits the ring still in possession of the NWA World Title belt. This is awesome so far, in my opinion, if Joe continues to hold the belt through Bound For Glory and uses it to negotiate a title shot in November at Genesis.
– We see footage from Mexico City last week of AJ Styles speaking to media in the empty arena after a show and LAX showing up with a number of Mexican luchadors to beat the hell out of the Phenomenal One and lay him out so badly that he is unable to wrestle tonight. Actually, the beatdown looked pretty tame and nothing worse than we usually see, but it was like 15-on-1 so I’ll buy it.
– Latin American eXchange vs. Tyler Black & Jeff Watson
Moody Jack Melendez performs the Spanish introductions for LAX in this textbook squash match. I have no idea which job guy is which so I’ll say Homicide drills Black with the Cutter off the top turnbuckle and Hernandez launches Watson with the Border Toss for the dual pinfalls. LAX are squashmasters, and I mean that as a compliment. A good squash is like a physical promo to get over moveset and in-ring character, and these guys do it great.
Afterwards, LAX stand behind a section of cage in front of their special entrance area as Konnan states that LAX will bring the NWA World Tag Team Title back to the Latino Nation and accuses Jim Cornette of trying to sabotage their success by putting them in the Ultimate X match at No Surrender. K-Dawg promises pure violence in the Six Sides of Steel at Bound For Glory and ARRIBA LA RAZA!
– A video package features Buff Bagwell and the 64-year-old Lex Luger analyzing the Sting/Jarrett match. Thrilling.
– Shark Boy vs. Norman Smiley vs. David Young vs. “Primetime” Elix Skipper vs. “Showtime” Eric Young
Eric is afraid of his own pyro and looks very worried despite the cheers and “Don’t Fire Eric” chants. As soon as the bell rings, the Diamonds In The Rough (without Simon Diamond) double-clothesline Eric and Sharky and Smiley roll them up from behind for a two-count. Eric quickly covers Elix, but he Matrixes out of it and kicks Showtime out of the ring. Skipper feels the Sharkbite and Norman performs the Big Wiggle on David while Larry Zbyszko wanders down to ringside and rolls Eric back in so he can get pinned. Eric snatches the “Eric Bischoff circa 1996” wig off of Larry’s head and wears it as he dances in the ring and Larry flees back to the dressing room. In a funny bit, Eric throws the wig at Sharky and he catches it as Eric kicks him in the gut. The Diamonds and Smiley brawl at ringside while inside, Eric blocks the Dead Sea Drop and Sharky pushes him into the ropes. Suddenly, Zbyszko appears wearing a ballcap and jabs Eric in the gut with a golf club as Sharky rolls up Showtime for the 1-2-3. Afterwards, Eric looks distraught and confused as the other competitors celebrate and the commentators can’t believe that Eric’s fears finally came true. Neither can I. They should do some sort of petition angle or a fan poll on the website to “bring him back”.
– A cool Sting video with a wicked voiceover shows us that Sting has added red to his facepaint in place of where the green was last week as the Stinger warns Jarrett to be afraid, be very afraid. I’m interested to see Sting’s new look since that and Angle as the ringside enforcer are pretty much the only reasons so far I have any interest whatsoever in Sting/Jarrett.
– Jeremy Borash interviews Christian Cage & Jeff Jarrett, who interrupts JB’s question toward Cage and rants about his NWA Title belt, Sting, and Kurt Angle as Christian motions for a mic of his own and finally interrupts, wondering if Jeff is going to steal all the interview time, but admits it’s okay because everybody knows the biggest star always talks last. OOOOHH. Christian mentions the timeslot change to 9pm in November and offers a selfless “You’re welcome”, pointing out that unlike Jarrett, he won his match at No Surrender and also pinned JJ for the NWA Title back in February. Christian advises Jarrett to follow his lead tonight and heads out as Jeff looks in disbelief.
– Christopher Daniels & Ron “The Truth” Killings vs. Christian Cage & Jeff Jarrett
No explanation why Jarrett & Cage would be teaming against Daniels & Styles in the first place, but West does note that Daniels chose Killings as a substitute because he’s a former two-time NWA World Champion. Christian starts for his team, but decides to tag Jarrett to start instead and Jarrett has some nice exchanges with Daniels until the Fallen Angel connects with a heelkick for a two-count. Jarrett tags Cage while Daniels tags Killings and they slam Cage with a double hiptoss and follow up with some old 3 Live Kru numbers, including the double elbowdrop and the dancing stomps. That was pretty cool. Truth plants Christian with a running powerslam and goes after Jarrett when he runs in, but Christian takes advantage of the distraction and tosses Truth over the top rope as we go to break.
When we come back, Jarrett rams Truth into the guardrail and rolls him back in the ring, where Christian mauls Truth and mocks his dance steps. Jarrett tags himself in and performs the Ray Traylor Tribute Show before doing his famous strut and pounding Killings. Truth comes back with the falling stunner and makes the hot tag to Daniels, who unloads on the heels and thunderbombs Jarrett for two when Cage makes the save. Daniels escapes the Unprettier and meets Cage on the top turnbuckle for a superplex, but Homicide pops up and slapjacks the co-NWA World Tag Team Champion. The Fallen Angel crashes to the canvas and Christian prepares to dive with a frogsplash, but Jarrett quickly covers Daniels and steals the pin.
Afterwards, Christian looks annoyed and asks for the microphone, but Jarrett grabs it from him and calls out Samoa Joe like the badass babyface he is because he wants his belt back. Joe runs down with the NWA Title belt and unloads on Jarrett, but misses a charge into the corner and sails over the top rope to the floor. Jarrett reclaims his belt and holds it proudly, but Christian drills him with the Unprettier and celebrates with the gold until Rhino roars out and tears into him with the Gore. The belt goes flying into the hands of Joe, who walks off with it while Rhino batters Christian up the ramp. It’s so cool to see Joe in possession of the NWA belt, I just hope they’re going somewhere big with this angle.
– A brief video package recaps Bobby Roode’s manager search as Roode announces that he will get back to the candidates next week since he has found the perfect fit for himself.
– The “Adrenaline Rush” video recap closes the show along with a graphic hyping that Kurt Angle will speak for the first time in TNA next week on Impact.
Afterthoughts: Another entertaining show built around Joe possessing the NWA belt and the various attempts to get it back. I liked how it played out with everybody wanting the belt as that really puts over the importance of the gold. I wonder if Angle will be the one to finally get the belt from Joe since everybody else failed. The in-ring action was much better this week too, so no complaints here. Thanks for reading, and see you in the future.
